MANAGING INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

Unit I

SELF AND COMMUNICATION

Self
William James a psychologist

distinguished between two aspects of self as me and I. I is an active agent in the environment. Me contains three distinct entities as
Spiritual self:- inner core of identity. Material self:- persons physical attributes. Social self:- personal identity.

Self concept
The views about ones self is known as

self concept. It is the impression one holds about himself. Switching the role one plays can create a problem for ones self concept. Self concept is the picture of oneself accompanied by the feeling of the real me which is stable.

Johari window
Known to self Unknown to self

Known to others

Open Self

Blind self

Unknown to others

Hidden Self

Unknown self

Self Awareness
Process of discovering and

understanding various aspects of oneself like motivation, attitudes, belief, etc. Through: Dialogue, Listening, Reduce blind, Increase open, See different selves.

We become aware of our own values and

standards.

SELF AWARENESS

Awareness of mental process Objective self awareness or both -result of directing our attention inward 1. Labelling theory 2. Self comparisons 3. Judging ourselves by behaviour of others

Self Growth
Maximization of ones potential towards

clear, specific & planned objective. Individual development. Personal/social development. conscious/unconscious effort. Explore strength & weakness

Self perception
Individuals attitudes towards and beliefs about

themselves based on factors like physical appearance, work habits, etc., and develops over a time. Highly complex collection of diverse information. A scheme is a set of cognitions about an object, person or situation. Self schemas reflect our beliefs and behavior with regard to people, situation and events.

Schemas
Have subschemas reflecting our beliefs and

behaviour with regard to people Helps organising our impressions Scan and elate to the environment Self schemas- independent - schematic

Social inferences
By Markus the subjects who had schemas of

themselves as independent chose more independent words to describe themselves than those who thought of themselves as dependent. Self schemas and adaptability: (odd man out) Social schemas - 3 categories
For individuals For roles / groups

Schemas and others

Business man
Traits aggressive, energetic, socially skilled and

interested in money Infmn abt specific behaviours business lunches, selling things to people, investment in stock market Infmn abt personal physical characteristics well dressed, well groomed, and fairly attractive)

Gaining self knowledge

Self concept not fixed flexible and changing,

over gaining experience Variety of ways Cognitive dissonance and Self perception theory Cognitive dissonance : - a state of tension that results when people hold their cognitions ( belief, opinions) Nuclear power, TV

Self perception theory

People learn about their attitudes, emotions and

other inner states by inferring them from their own behaviour Based on few assumptions Sometimes by justifying their behaviour Cognitive dissonance and Self perception theory: - over justification and intrinsic motivation

Cognitive Dissonance Theory:

(Leon Festinger (1957)

We are motivated by a desire for cognitive consistency We experience psychological tension- (i.e., a state of negative

arousal, dissonance) when we are aware of inconsistencies among our attitudes, cognitions, and behaviors.
e.g., saying things you dont believe you look great in that outfit,

deciding among two attractive options (who to date, what to major in)

We become highly motivated to reduce dissonance and often do so

by adjusting their thinking which often often involves irrational or sometimes maladaptive behavior.

Ways to Reduce Dissonance: Embracing your chocolate mousse option despite that Youre Dieting

Comparison of Cognitive Dissonance & Self-Perception Theories

Applying Self-Perception Theory: Over justification Effects and Intrinsic Motivation

Necessary Conditions for the Arousal and Reduction of Dissonance

Self Esteem
Individuals degree of liking or disliking of

themselves. Thinking as highly of yourself as you think of your friends and peers. It is build upon the experience of success. High self esteem: Good, capable, worthy

Low self esteem: Useless, unworthy.

SELF EFFECTIVENESS / SELF EFFICACY

THE BELIEF THAT ONE IS CAPABLE OF PERFORMING IN A CERTAIN MANNER TO ATTAIN CERTAIN GOALS.

SELF EFFECTIVENESS
Self esteem

Self serving biases

Self-handicapped strategies Self control Learned helplessness

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Self presentation
To present ourselves to others. Two self presentation concerns
Motive to please an audience Motive to construct and maintain a public

image.

Impression management is the process

through which people try to control the impressions other people form of them. It is usually synonymous with self presentation.

Strategies for self presentation

Direct strategies: Ingratiation seeking affection and to be liked. Intimidation seeking to be feared and seen as

dangerous. Self promotion seeking respect and a wish to seem competent. Exemplification seeking people to feel guilt or shame and to be seen as worthy, suffering or dedicated. Supplication -- seeking to be nurtured, to make people feel an obligation towards them and to seem helpless, handicapped or unfortunate.

 Indirect strategies: Our capacity to create an impression rests on

two different activities. Messages we give direct verbal symbols or their substitutes whose content is designed to convey information. Messages we give off involves actions, that others can treat as symptomatic of the actor, the expectation being that the action was performed for reasons other than the information conveyed.

 Defensive self presentation tactics: Excuses attempt to reduce responsibility.

Justification reason for behavior. Disclaimer offer explanations.

Self handicapping setting obstacles for our

own success. Apologies admit guilt responsibility.

Self monitoring
A personality trait that measures an individuals

ability to adjust his or her behavior to external situational factors. High self monitors: Pay attention to others, skillful at expressing their

emotions, possess more social skills, prefer interaction partners.

Low self monitors; Less concerned, show more consistency between

their attitudes and behavior, prefer people they like regardless of the activity involved.

Communication and language

Language may be defined as the system

of vocal sounds used by human beings to transmit meaning to one another. Effective communication consists of four steps:

Attention Understanding Acceptance Action

Communication and language

Involves various models like Lasswell model who, says what, in which

channel,to whom, to what effect Shannon & Weavers Mathematical model based on telephony analogy David berlos SMCR model source message channel reciever McGuires model transaction model & interactive model

Non verbal communication

Communicating without the use of words. Occurs even when there is no verbal

communication. Comprises all the impressions we receive and that interpretations we make from what we perceive through our senses. The codes are proxemics, haptics, chronemics, kinesics, physical appearance, vocalics and artifacts.

Non verbal channels

Paralanguage:
What we say depends on how we say it, what tone we use, what

words we emphasize, how loudly or softly, how fast or slowly we speak.

Eye contacts and social interaction:

The importance we place on eye contact is reflected in such

phrases as Eyeing someone up and down, seeing eye to eye, Look me in the eye. It is difficult, disconcerting communicative factor. The comfort level for eye contact is three seconds

 Facial expression:
Portray the moods and feelings of people. Charles Darwin was one of the first to observe and

describe facial expressions. Not only do our faces reflect our internal states, but our internal states might sometimes be the result of our facial expression.

Kinesics:
The study of body movements and postures is called

kinesics and is popularly known as body language. Much of the body language is involuntary or unconscious but it makes a powerful impact.

 Visual symbols:
Colors are associated with different moods

and feelings. Motivation and state of mind of employees are influenced by the color in the place of work.

Postures:
Combines pictures and words. Used for education and persuasion in matters

like the importance of saving, the danger of drinking, the value of neat and clean appearance, etc.

 Auditory signals:
Sound signals are used mainly for warning. Whistles are used by the police and the army

to call members assemble. Bells and Buzzers are used to indicate the starting and ending of work periods. Tuners are often used as an identification mark.

Silence:
Silence is not a negative absence of speech

but a positive withdrawal or suspension of speech. Short silences are very effective in giving emphasis to words.

 Gestures:
Movements of hands or head or body, they

are natural accompanied of speech. May not have specific or definite meaning. No two persons make exactly the same gestures.

Space:
The study of space as a communicative

system is called proxemics. It is the study of the degree and effect of the spatial separation that individuals naturally maintain in various social and interpersonal situations.

 Time:
Time given to listen and speak to people

creates a sense of self esteem in them; it is equated with care and concern for them.

Energy:
Energy conveys competence and inspires

respect.

Clothing:
What we wear says something about us.

Appearance:
Grooming and accessories

Unit II

Transactional Analysis

Introduction
TA is a technique used to help people better understand

their own and others behavior, especially in interpersonal relationships. It is a theory of psychotherapy founded by Dr.Eric Berne in the 1950s. TA provides to organizations a comprehensive model of personality, communication, motivation, conflict resolution, group dynamics, organization structure, leadership, goal-setting and problem solving. In an organization it is applied at three levels as personal level, group level, organizational level.

Structural analysis of Ego states

Consistent pattern of feelings & experiences

relating to corresponding consistent pattern of behavior. An ego states is a pattern of behavior that a person develops as he/she grows up, based on his/her accumulated network of feelings and experiences. There are three ego states : parent, adult and child.

 Parent ego state is the set of

feelings, attitudes, values and prejudices and behaviors introjected from parents and significant parental figures. Adult ego state is those feelings, attitudes, behaviors related to current her-and-now reality. Child ego state is the archaic feelings, emotions, attitudes, and behaviors, which are remnants of the persons past.

The functional model of ego states

Critical parent, people manifest themselves as

disappointed, aggrieved, feeling always right, patronizing, controlling, critical, putting down others. Nurturing parent, people act loving, caring, concerned, understanding, etc. Adult function as a computer, process data, organize information, estimate probabilities, make logical statements, and provide non-judgmental feedback. Adapted child exhibit behavior of rebellion or compliance. Rebellious child disobeys, throws temper tantrums, feels bored and distracts. Compliant child acts loyal, withdraws, pleases others, feels hurt, sulks and always fells one down. Free child tend to laugh, share fun, feel excited and enthusiastic, and express our anger, sadness and fear freely without any inhibition.

Diagnosis of ego states

Behavioral:
Words, tones, gestures, pastures and facial

expression.

Social:
Response evoked from others around.

Historical:
Getting information about past from others.

phenomenological:
When a person reexperiences what he/she

experienced as a child rather than just remembering it.

Types of Transactions
Complementary transactions:
The transactional vectors are parallel and the ego states

addressed is the one which responds.

Crossed transactions:
When the transactional vectors are not parallel, or in which the

ego state addressed is not the one which responds.

Ulterior transactions:
Happens when a person appears to be sending one message

overtly but secretly sending the other.

Gallows transactions:

Strokes
It is a unit of recognition. Strokes is an act implying recognition of

anothers presence verbally or nonverbally or by physical contact. Strokes may be positive or negative Positive strokes are those that help most people to feel good. They tell the other person youre OK. Negative strokes are those that would hurt most people. They do say youre not OK.

Types of strokes
Conditional strokes:
Is recognizing a person for doing something.

Unconditional strokes:
Is recognizing a person for being what he is.

Positive strokes:
Are intended to create a pleasant feeling in the

receiver.

Negative strokes:
Put the receiver down.

No strokes:

STROKE BALANCE & STROKE RESERVOIR

Stroke balance type of stroke we experience

when we are young and effect of this in later life. Stroke balance is the idea of stroke reservoir or credit bank

The stroke economy

False economy of strokes: Dont give strokes when you have them. Dont ask for strokes when you need them. Dont accept strokes, if you need them. Dont reject strokes, when you dont need them. Dont stroke yourself.

Life Positions
Positive Negative

Attitude toward Self

Negative Attitude toward others

Positive

TIME STRUCTURING
6 WAYS OF STRUCTURING
Withdrawal no contact with others Rituals socially programmed exchanges Pastimes superficial exchanges about non

threatening subjects Activity external goal directed behaviour Games recurring transactions with a concealed motivation Intimacy game free honesty and openess, free of exploitation

Rackets
Racket is an internal or external process by which a person

interprets or manipulates his/her environment as he/she identifies a not OK or discounted position. Rackets are self indulgence in feelings of guilt, inadequacy, hurt, fear and resentment. A racket is a dual strategy of getting permitted feelings and covering up those which we truly feel, as being not allowed. Racket feelings are collected at the end of a game as its payoff. When a person is in a racket within oneself and experiences racket feelings, it is an Internal racket. If another person becomes involved it is an external racket.

STAMPS
Stamps are feelings that an individual collects and

stores rather than expressing at the instant they were experienced.

They are collected and stored until some future date Different indvls collect different types Eventually the stamps are redeemed People review their stamps Types red stamps -anger
Green stamps -envy Brown stamps taking crap from people, Real gold stamps love joy, acknowledgement

Scripts
A life script is a personal plan decided on

at an early age (4 7 years old) by each individual in response to external events.

Eric Bernes formula for script is as follows:

EPI

PR

IB

EPI Early Parental Influences PR Programming. IB Important Behavior C Compliance P Payoff/Results

 Types of scripts:

Winner scripts (positive) have stated goals, achieve

them and feel good. Loser scripts (negative) may not have a stated goal or may have one but not achieve them. Non-winner scripts (banal) have ordinary goals and may reach close to it.

Script matrix is a diagram designed to illustrate

and analyze the directive handles down from parents and grandparents and the role model shown to them, which influenced the script decision of a child. Sweat shirts: Tells how the individual likes to structure time. Hell always have a message of I cant.

Applications of TA
Aims of TA in training

Improve relationship Decrease manipulation Increase understanding Help people grow Reduce self defeat Increase assertiveness Increase self confidence

Areas of applications

In interpersonal communication New way of looking at management & leadership greater contribution to make OD A possible explanation of some forms of accident proneness A new approach to the old problem of effective time management.

Unit III EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

The Research:

Almost 90% of success in leadership is attributable to EQ.

Mind and Body

Can the body affect the mind?

Example?
How about the mind affecting

the body? Example? Two-way communication between mind and body

Psychosomatic Medicine
Psyche (mind)

Soma (body)
Butterflies in the

stomach Anxious before giving speech Indigestion, nausea Stress may contribute to getting an ulcer.

ANXIETY
Personal & subjective feeling

Nervous breakdown
Occurs due to unpleasant times

FIGHT / FLIGHT SITUATION Arises mainly due to incompetence Acute stress prolonged anxiety

Bodily symptoms
Adrenaline - clotting of blood & embolism

Head aches & back aches

BP high, stomach & bowel disorder diabetes

- imaginary / real feeling loss of life avoid disclose the facts & face the reality

 Acute anxiety arise from interpersonalion relation,

self esteem, job overload etc Every one has memeories, past exp, fears, worries which are locked but do not admit leads to unpleasant symptoms Nuerotic anxiety defence mech 1.repression 2. projection Other defence mech dependancy, messianic hope etc

stress
Stress is an experience that creates

physiological and psychological imbalances within a person. It is a body reaction to any demands or changes in its internal and external environment. In simple words, stress refers to pressures or tensions people feel in life. Selye has defined stress as the non-specific response of the body to any demand made upon it. Stress was equated with force, pressure or strain.

 Although stress is typically discussed in a

negative context, it also has a positive value. Stress is a dynamic condition in which an individual is confirmed with an opportunity, constraint, or demand related to what he or she desires and for which the outcome is perceived to be both uncertain and important. Typically stress is associated with constraints and demands. The former prevent you from doing what you desire. The latter refers to the loss of something desired. Two conditions are necessary for potential stress to become actual stress. There must be uncertainty over the outcome and the outcome must be important.

Eustress and Distress

High

Under stressed (Distress) Optimum stress

Over stressed (Distress)

Performance

(Eustress)

Low

Stress

High

Potential sources of stress

Environmental factors: Economic uncertainties Political uncertainties Technological uncertainties Organizational factors: Task demand Role demand Interpersonal demand Organizational structure Organizational leadership Individual factors: Family problems Economic problem Personality

Individual differences
Perception

Job experience
Social support Belief in locus of control Self sufficiency Hostility

Consequences of stress
Physiological symptoms
Headaches High blood pressure Heart disease

Psychological symptoms
Anxiety Depression Decrease in job satisfaction

Behavioral symptoms
Productivity Absenteeism Turnover

Stress management
Coping strategies at the organizational level: Organizational role clarity Job redesign Stress reduction and stress management programmes Collateral programmes (personal wellness) Supportive organization climate Counseling Coping strategies by individuals Relaxation Time management Role management Mediation Support group

 Stress is less harmful if

Reducing the effects of stress

Have some control (even if just belief).

Predictable (going to feel a little pinch). Know the duration.

Coping mechanism.
Some way to relieve stress. Positive attitude.

Active participant in process.

Relieve stress
Meditation

Listening to soothing

music Taking a quiet walk Reduce stress Eliminate butterflies

Affects on long-term health

Attitude towards illness can

affect healing. Thought, beliefs and emotions have major impact on physical health. Link between mind and body is the immune system.

What is Emotion?
Internal conscious states that we infer in ourselves and others. Emotions are private experiences. We use operational definitions because we cannot actually see feelings. We infer observable behavior associated with emotion.

Four components of Emotion

Feelings

SocialExpressive

Emotion

Bodily Arousal

Significant life event

Sense of Purpose

Feeling component

Emotions are subjective feelings Make us feel in a particular way. Anger or joy. Meaning and personal significance. Vary in intensity and quality. Rooted in mental processes (labeling).

Bodily Arousal
Biological activation.

Autonomic and hormonal systems.

Prepare and activate adaptive coping

behavior during emotion. Body prepared for action. Alert posture, clenched fists.

Purposive component
Give emotion its goal-directed force.

Motivation to take action.

Cope with emotion-causing circumstances. Why people benefit from emotions. Social and evolutionary advantage.

Social-Expressive component
Emotions communicative aspect.

Postures, gestures, vocalizations, facial

expressions make our emotions public. Verbal and nonverbal communication. Helps us interpret the situation. How person reacts to event.

Emotions read in the face

The Japanese Female Facial Expression (JAFFE) Database

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
The ability to monitor ones own and others feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and use this information to

guide ones thinking and action.

25 competencies Divided into 5 dimensions:

Personal Competence:
Self Awareness Self Management

Motivation

Social Competence:
Empathy

Social Skills

Personal Competence
Self-Awareness Self-Management Motivation

Self-Awareness
Personal Competence
Self-Awareness Emotional Awareness Accurate Self-Assessment Self-Confidence
Self-Management Motivation

Self-Management
Personal Competence
Self Management Self Control Trustworthiness Conscientiousness Adaptability Innovation Self-Awareness Emotional Awareness Self-Assessment Self-Confidence Motivation

Motivation
Motivation Self-Awareness Achievement Drive Emotional Awareness Commitment Self-Assessment Initiative Self-Confidence Optimism
Self Management Self Control Trustworthiness Conscientiousness Adaptability Innovation

Social Competence

Empathy Social Skills

Empathy
Social Competence
Empathy Understanding Others Developing Others Service Orientation Leveraging Diversity Political Awareness
Social Skills

Social Skills
Social Competence
Empathy Understand Others Developing Others Service Orientation Leveraging Diversity Political Awareness

Social Skills Influence Communication Conflict Management Leadership Change Catalyst Building Bonds Collaboration/Cooperation Team Capabilities

Emotional Intelligence Map

Self-Awareness Emotional Awareness Accurate Self-Assessment Self-Confidence Self Management Self Control Trustworthiness Conscientiousness Adaptability Innovation Motivation Achievement Drive Commitment Initiative Optimism Empathy Understand Others Developing Others Service Orientation Leveraging Diversity Political Awareness Social Skills Influence Communication Conflict Management Leadership Change Catalyst Building Bonds Collaboration & Cooperation Team Capabilities

Models of EI
Ability based model
Mixed model Trait model

Ability based EI model

Helps one to make sense of and navigate the social

environment. Includes 4 types of abilities-Perceiving emotions- ability to detect and interpret emotions in faces, pictures, voices and cultural articrafts including the ability to identify ones own emotions. - Using emotions ability to harness emotions to facilitate various cognitive activities, such as thinking and problem solving.

Ability based model

Understanding Emotions ability to comprehend language and ability to appreciate complicated relationships among

emotions. Managing emotions ability to regulate emotions in both ourselves and in others.

Mixed models
Emotional Competencies (Goleman) Model
Bar On Model of Emotional Social

Intelligence (ESI)

Mixed models
Emotional Competencies ( Goleman) Model
Self Awareness- ability to read ones emotions and

recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide decisions. Self Management- involves controlling ones emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances. Social Awareness ability to sense, understand and reacts to others emotions while comprehending social networks. Relationship Management- ability to inspire, influence and develop others while managing conflict.

Bar On Model of Emotional Social Intelligence ( ESI)

Use of EQ Emotion Quotient.
Identifies ways to improve EQ through

training, programming & therapy

Trait model
Petrides et al proposed a conceptual distinction between the ability based model and trait based model Trait EI /Trait emotional self efficacy refers to a collection of behavioral dispositions and self perceptions concerning ones ability to

recognise, process and utilize emotion laden information.

Advantages
Improves Relationships
Improves communication with others Better empathy skills Acting with integrity Respect from others Manage change more confidently.

Identifying Emotions
Skills needed to perceive and express feelings.
Recognizing facial expressions.

Non-verbal communication.
Tell when someone is being authentic. Express accurate emotions for situation. Foundation for other branches.

Identifying Emotions (MSCEIT)

Facilitating Emotions (Branch 2)

Using emotions to facilitate thinking.
Improve problem solving and boost creativity. Emotional component to motivation. Care enough to send the very best. Using emotion to help make decisions.

Facilitation (MSCEIT)
What mood(s) might be helpful to feel when meeting in-laws for the very first time?

a) Tension
b) Surprise

Not Useful 1 2 1 2

3 3

Useful 4 5 4 5

c) Joy

Understanding emotions (Branch 3)

Understanding complex and conflicting emotions.
Emotions and behavioral consequences.

Read a situation and respond correctly.

Some emotional responses are maladaptive. Jealousy and envy are destructive.

Understanding Emotions (MSCEIT)

Tom felt anxious, and became a bit stressed when he thought about all the work he needed to do. When his supervisor brought him an additional project, he felt ____. (Select the best choice.)

a) Overwhelmed b) Depressed c) Ashamed d) Self Conscious e) Jittery

Managing emotions (Branch 4)

Developing mood regulation skills.
Productive ways to change mood. Avoid over and under regulation. Seek natural means rather than alcohol,

tobacco or other drugs. Stress coping strategies. Use optimistic explanatory style.

Managing Emotions (Branch 4)

1.

Debbie just came back from vacation. She was feeling peaceful and content. How well would each action preserve her mood? Action 1: She started to make a list of things at home that she needed to do. Very Ineffective..1.....2.....3.....4.....5..Very Effective Action 2: She began thinking about where and when she would go on her next vacation. Very Ineffective..1.....2.....3.....4.....5..Very Effective Action 3: She decided it was best to ignore the feeling since it wouldn't last anyway. Very Ineffective..1.....2.....3.....4.....5..Very Effective

How to Increase Your EQ

Conduct a personal inventory. Analyze the setting & identify skills needed. Enlist trusted friends. Focus on a few competencies. Practice, practice, practice. Be observant and reflective. Dont expect immediate results. Learn from your mistakes. Acknowledge your successes.

Unit IV

Counseling, Coaching & Mentoring

 Counseling: It is a problem solving technique which uses a one

onone process to help employees solve their problem. Psychotherapy through counseling provides opportunities for those seeking help to live more satisfying and happy lives. A counselor does not label or diagnose you.

Performance counseling: It is the help provided by the manager to his

subordinates in analyzing their performance and other job behavior in order to increase the job effectiveness.

Objectives of counseling
It aims at development of the counselee.

Help him to realize his potential.

Strengths and weakness More insight on ones behavior

Better understanding of environment

Increase personal & interpersonal effectiveness Set goals and action plans

Review the progress

Types of counseling
Directive counseling: Process of listening to a members problem, deciding with the member what should be done, and then encouraging and motivating the person to do it. Nondirective counseling: Or client centered counseling is the process of skillfully listening to a counselee, encouraging the person to explain bothersome problems, helping him/her to understand those problems and determine courses of action. Listen between the lines

 Individual counseling: Provides one-to-one interaction between you and a

counselor, on a short term basis.

Group counseling: Provides an opportunity for inter interaction with

others who share similar concerns or themes.

Outreach and student development: Student workshops, seminars and other educational

programmes.

Crisis counseling: To assess psychological emergencies that warrant

immediate intervention.

Faculty and staff intervention: Faculty and staff are in a unique position to recognize

and refer those students who appear distressed.

Counseling process
Responding Empathy

Listening

Communication

Helping Counseling

Development

Feedback

Mutuality

Influencing Identification Autonomy

Positive Reinforcement

Phases of Counseling process

Develop Relationships respect, genuineness, empathy, equality, listening, confidentiality. Define Problems examine the problem, prioritise relevant issues, focusing on the perspective, accept the problem, emphasize

on self responsibility, analyse and solve the problem

 Determine goals choose & prioritize the goals and objectives, making commitment,.
Decide plan of action generating and

exploring alternatives, decision making, specific steps Follow up All talk & No action, Emotional Block.

Conditions for Effective counseling

Openness and trust Helpful attitude Dialogic relationship Work oriented behavior Work related problems Avoidance of discussion of salary and

other rewards Being patient while listening to the employee Not jumping to conclusions

Critical Dimensions of Counseling

Empathy: Ability to perceive the clients feelings, and to

demonstrate accurate perception to the client.

Warmth: Unconditional positive regard. It involves accepting

and caring about the client as a person, regardless any evaluation of his behaviors or thoughts.

Respect: Our belief in the clients ability to make appropriate

decisions and deal appropriately with his/her life situation.

 Congruence: Or genuineness is being honest and

authentic in our dealings with our client. It also involves knowing our limits in terms of skills, time and energy and not committing ourselves beyond those limits.

Confidentiality: Normally means that anything discussed

during a counseling session is held as absolutely private and not discussed elsewhere. This is essential to the client feeling safe in speaking about intimate and painful matters.

 Approaches to counseling:

Humanistic approach client centered. Behavioral approach Cognitive approach thinking Transaction analysis nurturing parent.

How to learn counseling?

Workshop Watching videos Certificates In-house training Reading Degrees offered

Elements in counseling training:

Theory input Self exploration Make a skill framework Relating practice to theory.

ELEMENTS OF COUNSELLING
Listening

The problem at hand

Bulls eye of the problem Recognising and admitting feelings & criticism Problem solving and influencing the directions.

Counselling helping strategy

Concerned with the client

Concerned with the problem

Include the client in solving the problem Exclude the client from solving the problem

Telling Manipulating Advicing Counselling

PREDICTING PEOPLES PROBLEMS

Managers to solve problems training &

experience, promotion Problem reality differs from expectation revenue expected cash flow proposed pdtn actual pdtn Problem in orgn technical, human

PREDICTING PEOPLES PROBLEMS

elcot sagarus 3 factors to balance 1. equitable payment when payment is felt to be fair 2. content of work itself 3. capacity of individual Sigmond frued authority and position of ldr - interpersonal relations

PREDICTING PEOPLES PROBLEMS

HERZBERGS REASONS

Personality External problems

Organisational related

Personality problems
Stems from nature of individuals(behaviour)

- poor self image but high opinion of others - poor self image but low opinion of others - an over estimation of his own abilities People in orgn develop variety of feelings (beh) go in for counselling Causes for anxiety tech. competence,under work, over work, uncertain future, relationship

External problems -Reasons for counselling

Keeping & losing a job

Unsatisfactory / conflicting working relation

Felt injustices or nepotism & favouritism Unsaturated relation with authority Job development Absenteeism due to experimental relation

- alcoholism

Organisational problems
Behavioural predictors due to dynamics which

affect perf. at work. problems may be due to - marriage, bereavement, depression Frued work of mourning requires a great deal of mental & emotional energy & effort Depression lack of sleep,drive, alcoholism,smoke illness requires professional help

JOURNEY INTO LIFE SPACE

Kurt lewin understand group dynamics

Philosophy of here and now

LS of child & LS of adult differs hence

understanding between the force is a must LS of adult kurt 5 stages - Easier to establish contact with children - Gaining entry not an easy task - Every one develops phisical way of defending others

How to behave within LS

Entry into LS priviledged process

Honour & respect the sentiments of others

Do not crititcize others which leads to

threatening Ways to explore LS - People tend to push unpleasant facts & memories - Cr to help people see things in difft angles - Cr leads the process by putting difft type of questions

MENTORING

Mentorship
A mentor is an individual with expertise

who can help develop the career of a mentee. The mentor guides, trains, advises, and promotes the career development of the mentee. Two types of mentoring functions:
Career Psychosocial

Mentoring Functions
Career Functions: Help the mentee learn

the ropes and prepare for career advancement.

Coaching Challenging assignments Exposure and visibility Protection

Mentoring Functions
Psychosocial Functions: Help the mentee

develop a sense of competence and clarity of identity.

Role-Modeling Acceptance and confirmation Counseling Friendship

Stages of Mentoring
Initiation Stage

Cultivation Stage
Separation Stage Redefinition Stage
Not all stages are beneficial to the mentor or to

the mentee.

Advantages of Mentoring
Advantages for the mentee:
Career advancement Salary Organizational/professional identification

Advantages for the mentor:

Career enhancement Passing the torch to a new generation Learning from mentee new technologies, new

developments, important features of next generation

Disadvantages of Mentoring
Disadvantages for the mentee:
Overdependence on the mentor Micro-management from the mentor Negative halo from mentor who fails

Disadvantages for the mentor:

Mentee dependence on mentor Time, energy commitment to mentee Negative halo from mentee who fails

 Most common form of business mentoring:

Problems With CrossGender Mentoring

male mentor and male mentee. Other forms:

Male mentor and female mentee (most common) Female mentor and male mentee Female mentor and female mentee (rare)

Advice for Same-Gender and Cross-Gender Mentoring

Keep relationship professional

Be sensitive to other peoples reactions and

potential rumors Avoid perception of personal relationship

Meet in public venues Transparency of relationship

Formal Mentoring Programs

Program length is specified (12 months) Purpose of program is to help early career

psychologists establish and develop their careers Program participation is voluntary Matching of mentors and mentees uses input from participants
Interest areas in psychology Demographics Experiences

Role of Mentees
Seek counsel and advice, not a supervisor who

directs actions. Be aware of potential pitfalls: Overbearing mentor, mentor exploitation of mentees work. Be sensitive to the difference between asking for help/advice from your mentor and demanding favors from your mentor. Synthesize lessons learned from all mentors become your own person. Recognize dynamics of relationship.

Role of Mentors
Offer advice that helps mentee develop

role is NOT to make decisions for mentee or micromanage. Train to be efficient. Guidance and advice for one mentee may also be appropriate for another. Be aware of potential pitfalls: overdependence of mentee, mentee exploitation of mentors influence. Be sensitive to difference between developing a mentee and using a mentee. Be aware of dynamics of relationship: Developmental needs may change.

Distance Mentoring
How to use e-mail
Use e-mail to set up meetings (face-to-face or phone),

clarify plans/goals, pose non-time urgent questions, review plans, maintain contact. Dont use e-mail to give critical or complex feedback, provide impressions of others behavior, provide impressions of third parties, exchange sensitive information.

Communication Challenges
Listen for nonverbal cues (e.g., pregnant pauses, voice

tone, tempo, volume) Push for specific information, clarify meanings Summarize agreements

Unit V

Assertiveness

Assertiveness
It is the ability to express yourself and your

rights without violating the rights of others. It is appropriately direct, open and honest communication which is self enhancing and expressive. Will allow you to feel self-confident and will generally gain you the respect of your peers and friends. Will improve your decision making ability and possibly your chances of getting what you really want from life.

Legitimate rights
The right to decide how to lead your life. The right to your own values, beliefs, opinions, and

emotions. The right not to justify or explain your action or feelings to others. The right to tell others how you wish to be treated. The right to express yourself and say No, I dont know, I dont care. The right to ask for information or help. The right to change your mind. The right to like yourself even though youre not perfect. The right to have positive, satisfying relationships within which you feel. The right to change, enhance, or develop your life in anyway you determine.

 Assertiveness is expressing our thoughts, feelings and beliefs in a direct, honest and appropriate way. We are consciously working toward a win-win solution. Aggressiveness is we put our wants,

needs, and rights above those of others. Strives for a win-lose solution. Nonassertive behavior is passive and indirect. It permits others to violate our rights and shows a lack of respect for our own needs. It creates a lose-win situation.

Categories of assertive behavior

Chrisoff and Kelly at 1985 Refusal assertiveness how to say no at the right time and in the right way. State your position Explain your reason Express understanding Commendatory assertiveness telling people how you feel. Express positive feelings Express negative feelings Request assertiveness to get information, clarification, and ask for what you want. State the problem Make a request Getting clarification

Assertiveness cycle
Assertiveness

Self confidence

Getting what you want

High self esteem

How to develop Assertive skills

Be direct, honest & open about your feelings, opinions and

state your goals Dont let your friends, etc to reinforce their behavior on you. Be honest in giving & receiving complement. Learn to say NO to unreasonable requests. Avoid why questions then you tend to be defensive. Recognize & respect rights of your friends & others. Ask for feedback. Use appropriate tone and body posture. Develop your vocabulary Dress well Maintain dignity always Focus on your strengths Keep cool

Assertiveness and work

Unpack the workplace kit bag beliefs rules.

Exploring some workplace myths, mistakes not allowed what facts.

Handling oppositions 3 stage message identify

behavior state the effect ask for change Giving & receiving feedback Win-win situation

Assertiveness techniques
Behavior rehearsal:
Literally practicing how you want to look and sound.

Repeated Assertion (the broken record)

Use calm repetition and say what you want and stay focused on this issue.

Fogging

this technique allows you to receive criticism comfortably, without getting anxious or defensive, and without rewarding manipulative criticism.

Negative enquiry
Seeks out criticism about yourself in close relationships by prompting the

expression of honest, negative feelings to improve communication.

Negative assertion
Lets you look more comfortably at negatives in your own behavior.

Workable compromise
When you feel that your self-respect is not in question, consider a workable

compromise with the other person.

Assertive Communication

Verbally, assertive people :

Make statements that are honest, clear, brief, and to the point
Use I statement : Id like, I appreciate, I think Distinguish between fact and opinion Ask, dont tell Offer improvement suggestions, not advice and commands

Assertive Communication

Verbally, assertive people :

Offer constructive criticism, free of blame, assumptions, and shoulds Ask questions to find out the thoughts and feelings of others

Respect the rights of others as well as their own rights

Communicate mutual respect where the needs of two people conflict, and look for mutually acceptable solutions

Assertive Communication
Non Verbally, assertive people :
Make appropriate eye contact Sit or stand firmly and comfortably erect Gesture openly to support their comments Speak in a clear, steady, firm tone of voice

Assertive Communication
Non Verbally, assertive people :
Maintain open, steady, relaxed facial expressions, smiling when pleased, frowning when angry
Speak a steady, even pace, emphasizing key words, with few awkward hesitations

Manage your body language

Sit or stand at right angles and on the same level, and respect peoples personal space zones Use open gestures and body language Center your attention exclusively on the other person Lean slightly forward to show interest; a bit further forward to apply pressure, slightly back to reduce pressure

Manage your body language

Maintain appropriate eye contact while listening to encourage the speaker; increase eye contact to apply pressure; reduce it to lower pressure

Respond appropriately by basing your responses on what the other

person has just said

Be relaxed and balanced to make relaxed and open communication easier