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Managing the

relationship process
Communication
Preface
Almost everyone has had the pleasant experience of
meeting someone for the first time and developing an
instant mutual rapport (Instantaneously).
On the other hand, we can all recall meeting people who
turn us off almost immediately.

Why does this happen during the initial contact?

The impressions that others form about us are based on
what they observe us saying and doing.
They have no way of knowing our innermost thoughts
and feelings, so they make decisions about us based on
what they see and hear.
Communication Styles
The patterns of behavior that others observe can be
called communication style.
Behavior styles and social styles are additional terms
frequently used to describe these patterns of behavior.

Adaptive selling, is defined as altering sales behaviors
in order to improve communication with the customer. It
relates to a salespersons ability to collect information
regarding the customers needs and responding
appropriately.
Adaptive selling frequently requires complex behavioral
adjustments. Adjusting ones communication style in
order to fit individual customer needs and preferences is
an important element of adaptive selling.
Communication-Style Bias
Bias in various forms is quite common in our society, - in
the form of racial, age, gender bias and to some degree
regional bias
What has been labeled communication-style bias is a
state of mind that every one of us experiences, but we
usually find it difficult to explain the symptoms.
Communication-style bias can develop when we have
contact with another person whose communication style
is different from our own.
Eg, I do not know what it is, but I just do not like that
sales representative. The agent was no doubt
experiencing communication - style bias but could not
easily describe the feeling.
Communication-Style Bias
Communication-style bias is a state of mind
experienced when we have contact with another
person whose communication style is different
from our own.
Communication-Style Principles
Communication style is a way of thinking and
behaving.
Individual style differences tend to be stable.
There is a finite number of communication styles.
We make judgments about people based on
communication style.

Communication Style Models
Low High Dominance continuum
Sociability continuum
Low
High
Communication Style Models
The Dominance Continuum reflects the tendency
to influence others in a relationship.

The Sociability Continuum reflects the amount of
control one exerts over emotional expressiveness.
People who are high in sociability express their
feelings freely, while people who are low in
sociability tend to control their feelings.

Communication Styles
High
dominance
Low
dominance
High sociability
Low sociability
High dominance
Low dominance
High sociability
Low sociability
Emotive
Emotive
Communication
Style displays
characteristics such as
activity, social
initiative,
encouragement of
informality, and
expression of
emotional opinions.
These communicators
may be stimulating,
excitable, persuasive,
and dynamic.
Communication Styles
High dominance
Low dominance
High sociability
Low sociability
Emotive
The Director
Communication Style
characteristically is
businesslike, serious in
attitude, and strongly
opinionated.

Directors like to
maintain control, and
may be aggressive,
bold, impatient, and
intense, but
determined.
Director
Communication Styles
High dominance
Low dominance
High sociability
Low sociability
Emotive
Reflective
Communicators
typically control their
emotions, display
orderliness, express
measured opinions,
and may be aloof.

They may appear
preoccupied and
stuffy, however they
are precise,
disciplined and
industrious.
Director
Reflective
Communication Styles
High dominance
Low dominance
High sociability
Low sociability
Emotive
The Supportive Style
Communicators
typically appear to be
quiet & reserved.
They are attentive
listeners and make
decisions in a
thoughtful & deliberate
manner without the
use of power.
They may be passive
and relaxed, yet
sensitive and patient.
Director
Reflective
Communication Styles
Supportive
The completed
communication style
model provides
important
insights needed
to manage the
relationship
process in
selling.
Relationship Process
i. Zone One
ii. Zone Two
iii. Excessive Zone
People who fall within this zone
display their unique behavioral
characteristics with less intensity
than those in zone two.
The Emotive person, for example,
is moderately high on the
dominance continuum and
moderately high on the sociability
continuum.
As you might expect, zone one
communication styles are more
difficult to identify because there is
less intensity in both dimensions
(dominance and sociability).
Relationship Process
i. Zone One
ii. Zone Two
iii. Excessive Zone
Persons display their unique behavioral
characteristics with greater intensity
than persons in zone one.
They for example, falls within the
lowest quartile of the dominance
continuum and the lowest quartile of
the sociability continuum.
The boundary line that separates zone
one and zone two should not be seen
as a permanent barrier restricting
change in intensity.
A deliberate move from zone 1~ 2, or
vice versa, is called style flexing.
Relationship Process
i. Zone One
ii. Zone Two
iii. Excessive Zone
The excess zone is characterized by a
high degree of intensity and rigidity.
When people allow themselves to drift
into this zone, they become very
inflexible, which is often interpreted by
others as a form of bias toward their
style.
In addition, the strengths of the
inflexible person become weaknesses.
Extreme intensity in any quadrant is
bound to threaten interpersonal
relations.
Selling to each Type
i. Emotives
ii. Directors
iii. Reflectives
iv. Supportives

Developing
Communication Style
Flexibility
Selling to each Type
i. Emotives
ii. Directors
iii. Reflectives
iv. Supportives

Take time to establish goodwill and build
relationships & maintain good eye contact.
Support their opinions/ ideas & listen
attentively
Need to move at a pace that holds the
attention of the prospect.
Be enthusiastic and avoid an approach that
is too stiff & formal.
Do not place too much emphasis on the
facts and details.
Plan actions that provide support for their
opinions, ideas, and dreams..
Plan to ask questions concerning their opinions and ideas, but
be prepared to help them get back on track if they move too
far away from the topic.

Selling to each Type
i. Emotives
ii. Directors
iii. Reflectives
iv. Supportives

Keep the relationship as businesslike.
Be efficient, to the point & organized by providing
using appropriate facts / figures
Developing a strong personal relationship is not a
high priority for Directives. In other words,
friendship is not usually a condition for a good
working relationship.
Your goal is to be as efficient, time disciplined, and
well organized as possible and to facts, figures,
Directives are goal-oriented people, so try to
identify their primary objectives and then determine
ways to support and help with these objectives
Early in the sales presentation, ask specific
questions and carefully note responses. Look for
specific points you can respond to when it is time
to present your proposals.
Selling to each Type
i. Emotives
ii. Directors
iii. Reflectives
iv. Supportives

The Reflective person responds in a positive
way to a thoughtful, well-organized approach.
Arrive at meetings on time and be well
prepared. In most cases it is not necessary to
spend a great deal of time building a social
relationship. Reflective people appreciate a no-
nonsense, businesslike approach.
Use specific questions that show clear
direction.
Once you have information concerning the
prospects needs, present your proposal in a
slow, deliberate way. Provide as much
documentation as possible.
Do not be in too big a hurry to close the sale.
Never pressure the Reflective person to make
quick decisions.
Type of consumer buying behavior
i. Emotives
ii. Directors
iii. Reflectives
iv. Supportives

Take time to build a social relationship with
the Supportive person.
Spend time learning about the matters that
are important in this individuals lifefamily,
hobbies, and major interests.
Listen carefully to personal opinions and
feelings.
Supportive individuals like to conduct
business with sales personnel who are
professional but friendly. Therefore, study
their feelings and emotional needs as well as
their technical and business needs.
Throughout the presentation, provide
personal assurances and support for their
views.
Type of consumer buying behavior
i. Emotives
ii. Directors
iii. Reflectives
iv. Supportives

If you disagree with a Supportive person, curb
the desire to disagree too assertively; Supportive
people tend to dislike interpersonal conflict.
Give them the time to comprehend your
proposal. Patience is important.
As you develop your communication-style
identification skills and become more adept at
style flexing, you become better able to manage
the relationship process.
With these skills you should be able to open
more accounts, sell more to established
customers & more effectively meet the pressures
of competition.
Most important, your customers will view you as
a person better able to understand & meet their
needs.
Word of Caution
It is tempting to put a label on someone & then assume the
label tells you everything about that person.
To build an effective partnering type of relationship, you
must acquire additional information about that person.
We should be careful not to use labels that make people
feel boxed in, typecast, or judged.
We should not classify people; we should classify their
strengths and preferences to act one way or another under
certain circumstances.
You also must be careful not to let the label you place on
yourself become the justification for your own inflexible
behavior.
Try not to let the label justify or reinforce why you are
unable or unwilling to communicate effectively with others.
Communication Styles
Passive Assertive Aggressive
Cant speak up
Dont know my rights
Get stepped on
Meek
Too accommodating
Talks softly
Gives cold fish
handshakes
Dont stand up for
my rights
Avoid conflicts
People take
advantage of me
Trouble saying no,
then Im angry and
resentful
Firm
Direct
Honest
Respect rights of
others
Recognize the
importance of having
my needs & rights
respected
Confident
Realize I have choices
Effective communicator
Can express my needs
Make good eye contact
Speak with firm voice
Loud
Bossy
Pushy
Dominating
Intimidating
Violate others rights
using power, position
& language
Must get my way
React instantly
Dont care where or
when I blast
someone
Can be abusive
Vise-like handshake
I like to get even
Passive Style
Too intimidated to express thoughts and feelings
Forfeits his/her rights or freedoms
Gives in to demands so he/she will be accepted
Avoid confrontation at any cost
Often feels used and taken advantage of
Driven by anxiety
Assertive Style
Recognizes and stands up for own rights while
respecting the dignity of others
Focuses on specific issues and problems, without
belittling self or others
Expresses opinion without violating others rights
Minimizes opportunities to be taken advantage of
by others
Open, tolerant, and considerate of others feelings
Can overcome fear to confront issues that require
resolutions
Can communicate feelings of anger diplomatically,
without putting others on the defensive

Aggressive Style
Intimidates others to gain control of their
thoughts and actions
Manipulates, accuses, fights
Little or no regard for others feelings
Driven by anger
Passive - aggressiveness
Hostility expressed through inaction;
inertia used as a weapon
Silent treatment
Dragging your feet
Always being late
Never saying what they want to do, then
sulking about it
Lame excuses
Plausible deniability is key
Assertiveness Skills
Know your rights
Say no and not feel guilty
Change your mind about anything
Take ur time to form a response to a comment or
question
Ask for assistance with instructions or directions
Ask for what you want
Experience and express your feelings
Feel positive about yourself under any conditions
Make mistakes wo feeling embarrassed or guilty
Own your opinions and convictions
Protest unfair treatment or criticism
Be recognized for your significant achievements
and contributions

Assertiveness Skills
Know your rights
Learn to say no
Learn to use I statements
Use eye contact
Use assertive body language
Avoid manipulation
Be aware of these strategies
Intimidation
Content substitution
Personal attacks (character assassination)
Avoidance
End