Nidhi Kadam

1
Can you guess the age
of this lady? What about this lady?
Can you guess the age
of this lady? And this one now?
2
Conditioning
If 10 seconds have that kind of impact on the
way we see things, what about lifetime
conditioning?








Paradigm
Our Paradigm affects how we interact with
others. We can not maintain wholeness if we
talk and walk differently.


What do you think about this?
3
Dependence
Independence
Interdependence
7.

R
E
N
E
W
A
L
1. Proactive 2. End in mind
3. 1
st
things 1
st

5. Understand then
understood
6. Synergize
4. Win-Win

Private
Victory
Public
Victory
4
Nidhi Kadam
161300912036
7.

R
E
N
E
W
A
L
1. Proactive 2. End in mind
3. 1
st
things 1
st

5. Understand then
understood
6. Synergize
4. Win-Win
5
Return
What? Why?
How? Want..
Knowing I need to
listen and knowing
how to listen is not
enough unless I
want to listen.

Until then listening
wont become my
habit.
Unlearn if they
keep you away
from your goals.
Adopt new ones
to make your
life effective.
6
Return
Expand
Knowledge
Skills
Desire
around effective
Habits
7
Return
Customer Employee
8
Return
7 Habits move us
progressively on
Maturity Continuum
Dependence
Independence
Interdependence
We are born as
Dependent.
As we grow we
tend to become
Independent.
As we grow more
we realize, the
whole world is
Interdependent.
Dependent people need others get what they want.
Others control them Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, Financially.
Independence is a major achievement in itself.
Independent people get what they want through their efforts.
Interdependent people combine their efforts with others.
Its a choice only independent people can make.
..from Dependence
to Independence

..and then to
Interdependence.
Whatever your role is, while stepping from independence to Interdependence you actually get
into a leadership role and influence people.

9
Return

Private
Victory
Public
Victory

Primary Greatness Basic goodness in character

Integrity, Humility, Fidelity, Temperance, Courage, Justice, Patience, Industry, Simplicity, Modesty
Personal Effectiveness (Character Ethics)
Interpersonal effectiveness (Personality Ethics)
Public image, PMA positive mental attitude, behavior, skills, techniques, human interaction

Secondary Greatness Social recognition of talents


1. Proactive 1. Proactive Proactive
10
Return
Stimulus Response
Genetic Determinism
Psychic Determinism
Environmental Determinism
Self-awareness Independent will
Imagination Conscience
Reactivity
Proactivity

Between Stimulus and Response,
man has freedom to choose.
Response-ability = Responsibility

Reactive Response Proactive Response
I cant. I can choose.
This makes me sick. I can control my feelings.
I can do nothing. Let me look at the alternatives.
I am like this. I can choose another approach.
Circle or Concern
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
1. Proactive 1. Proactive Proactive
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Return
Circle of
Influence
Proactive people focus their
effort on circle of influence.

They work on the things they
can do something about.

Their positive energy
enlarges their circle of
influence.
Reactive people focus on
their circle of concern.

They blame uncontrollable
circumstances.

Their negative energy
shrinks their circle of
influence.
Nuclear war
National debt
Others weaknesses
Environmental issues
Health
Education
Loan
Children
Job
End in mind
12
Return
Circle of Influence
Family
Work
Money
Friends
Self
Spouse
Pleasure Enemy
The sources of
our security,
wisdom, power
and guidance
keep enlarging
the circle of
influence.
We all have our
own unique set
of centers.
Our missions
(ends) or center
of our lives are
based on our
circle of
influence.
Self-Centered?
Wisdom Security
Guidance
Power
1
st
things 1
st

13
Return
i/p o/p
i/p
o/p
Manager
Producer
Art of Delegation
Management is essential for moving the
fulcrum over.

Gofer (go-for) delegation Producers.
One on one supervision of method


Stewardship Delegation Managers.
focuses on results than methods.
More effective.

1
st
things 1
st







Urgent Not Urgent
I
Pressing Issues
Crises
Problems
Deadlines
I
m
p
o
r
t
a
n
t


N
o
t

I
m
p
o
r
t
a
n
t

These activities are fun to do and peasant but not important. This Quadrant consists of expectations of others.

People invest a lot of time here confusing it with Quadrant I.

Activities may not be popular with others but with us. They easy to
accomplish but not important.

People associated

Crises manager
Problems minded person
Deadlines driven producers
Urgent matters are Visible, so we react on them.

They press on us and require immediate attention & results.
II
Planning
Prevention
PC / Opportunities
Relations
Recreation
III
Interruptions (some calls/mails)
Some meetings/reports
Popular activities
Proximities
IV
Trivia (some calls/mails)
Engaging tasks
Time wasters
Pleasant activities
People spending maximum time in Quadrant 3 & 4 lead irresponsible lives.
Effective people stand out of these 2 quadrants as they are non important activities.
Its Heart of effective personal management.

Important but not urgent activities require more proactivity
(Habit 1) and End in mind (Habit 3).
e.g. - We must act to seize opportunity.

All 7 habits are in Quadrant 2.
If you focus here it
expands and then
dominates.

People spending 90%
time in this, run to
Quadrant IV with
remaining 10% time,
neglecting Quadrant 2
& 3 completely.
Effective people shrink
Quadrant 1 by spending
more time in Quadrant 2
Importance
is associated
with results.


They
contribute
to missions,
high priority
goals,
values.

Win-Win
15
Return
Right way
Win-Win Qualities -

Character The foundation.
Integrity Keeping promises.
Maturity Courage & consideration.
Abundance mentality Theres a lot for all
Character
Abundance
Win-Win Steps

Stop treating people and start treating problem.
Look at the problem from others point of views as well.
Identify the key issues and concerns.
Determine results.
Identify possible options.
Win-Win can only survive in organizations where systems support it.
You cant change the fruit without changing the root.
Understand then
understood
16
Return
This is something you can start practicing right away

Show your understanding and respect. Dont push others to open up. Have patience.
See important things from others eyes. Seek first to understand, even before problems come up and you evaluate them to
prescribe solutions with your own ideas.
Be proactive to do preventive work instead of waiting for next parent-teacher meeting or business negotiation opportunity.
You will save tremendous amount of time, energy and money.
When you listen, you learn.
It enables you to deeply understand others. You have accurate information to get to the heart of the matter. You can build
Emotional Bank Accounts and give people psychological air to work together effectively.
You build loyalty that works beyond working hours.
Do a role play with your loved ones on past failures.

This way differences become stepping stones to synergy.
Its an Inside out approach.
Right in the middle of circle of influence. Merely listening makes you most influencing.
Your circle expands increasing your ability to influence everything in your circle of concern.
Stages of Empathetic Listening
Reflective Listening (least effective) mimic the content.
Rephrase content left brain into action logical, reasoning.
Reflect the feeling right brain into action emotions.
Giving Psychological Air (most effective) 2
nd
+3
rd.

i.e., helping others to work through their own thought process and feelings. They grow their confidence in
your sincere desire to listen. Their barrier between feelings and communicating them to us disappears.


At times transformation doesnt require outside counsel. When people are given chance to really open up,
they unravel their problems and bring the solutions.
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Account
Trust built up in a relationship. Feeling safe being with another person.

Benefits of more Deposits
When Trust act is high, communication is easy, instant and effective.
Types of Deposits/Withdrawals

Understanding Treating everyone same by treating each of them differently.

Attending to little things In relationships, little things are big things. People are tender and
sensitive inside.

Keeping commitments It is a major deposit that builds bridges of trust to span the gaps in
understanding.

Clarifying expectations Doing it explicitly in the beginning to avoid conflicts later when they
arent met.

Integrity Being loyal to those who are not present.

Apologizing sincerely Doing it while making withdrawals from EBA. Apologies make deposits.

Understand then
understood
Synergize
18
Return
This is crowing achievement to all the 5 habits.

Everything in nature is related to everything else.

A great deal of synergy is in your circle of influence.
When two plants are planted together, the roots
comingle and improve the quality of the soil and both
the plants grow better than growing alone.

Its Team-work, its Team-building.
Its particularly powerful in dealing with negative energy.

Dont take insults personally.

Sidestep negative energy.
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Emotional Psychological Unconscious Illogical
logical Conscious
Reasonable Economical
Synergize
C O - O P E R A T I O N
T
R
U
S
T
Defensive
Respectful
Synergize
Return
7.

R
E
N
E
W
A
L
20
Return
Physical
Intellectual
Social/Emotional Spiritual
Exercise
Nutrition
Stress management
Reading
Writing
Planning
Visualizing
Study
Values
Commitments
Meditation
Service
Empathy
Synergy
Security
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Principles
Principles are natural laws that cant be broken. We can only break ourselves
against them.

Principle of Growth & change
In all the life, there are sequential stages of growth and development.
Each step is important and each one takes time. Would positive
thinking alone enable you to achieve enormous success?
A thousand mile journey begins with the 1
st
step. Admitting to the
ignorance is often the first step in our education.
People admit they have temper problems but they dont feel awkward
in accepting their emotional development level as low.
Attitude
Think more positively. You may not get what you expected.
But you would be so positive that you would be happy with
what youve got. Attitude can make the real difference.
We see things as we are, not as they are. Where we stand
depends upon where we sit. The facts have no meanings apart
from the interpretations.
Laws of Love & Life
Law of love is - Loving people unconditionally. It makes them live the laws
of life Cooperation, Contribution, Self Discipline and Integrity