REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

FOUNDATIONS

Why Do You Need This Stuff?

If you were good with women in general, you would
know how to get the specific girl you want.
To keep the girlfriend you want you cannot be needy.
Knowing it could be a long time before you meet
another girl while she can go out and meet another guy
at any time guy often causes jealousy, insecurity, and
neediness.

Why Do You Need This Stuff?...

The confidence and social skills you build learning to be
good with women will help you to maintain a better
relationship and make you a better role model for your
kids.
You may not even know what kind of woman you really
want until youve had some experience dating.
The confidence and social skills you build leaning to be
good with women will help you in all areas of your life.

Why Do You Need This Stuff?....

Being a failure with women is being a failure at one of
your core purposes and can leave a dark cloud hanging
over all of your other accomplishments.
Being good with women is fun.
Being back with women sucks
Become Good with women

How Most Guys Are

Has a scarcity mentality, and thinks that the one girl he
likes is the only one he could ever have a real
connection with.
Place women on a pedestal.
Blames his lack of success with women on not having
money or looks.
Weak sense of reality and fears rejection.

How Most Guys Are.

Makes excuses for his natural desires.
Attaches too much meaning to his interactions with
girls.
Tries to logically persuade women into liking hi and has
no idea how to get an emotional response.
Tries to impress and please people.
Radiates neediness and insecurity.
Sells himself short and makes himself to available

Shift in Thinking: Men Dont

Need Money or Looks
Believe it or not money and looks are logical entities
Social conditioning dictates that these things are attractive, which
gives some of the guys who have them the CONFIDENCE to act
attractively around women.
This leads guys to wrongly deduce it must be his money or looks.
What a woman responds to are her EMOTIONS.
To be attractive to women, they must feel an emotional response to
you.
That comes from confidence, humor, social skills, dominance,
charisma, being different and unpredictable, etc..

Shift In Thinking: You Can Learn To Be Good

With Women Just Like Any Other Skill
(continued)
The world is your pickup lab.
All rejection is feedback.
Take nothing personally. The same girl who rejected you
probably would have like you if youd conveyed your
personality more attractively.

Shift In Thinking: You Can Learn To Be

Good With Women Just Like Any Other
Skill (continued)
Think long term and go after the skill: be process
oriented not outcome oriented.
Progressively desensitize yourself to being around
women and taking the lead.
Its just socializing. Socializing is 100% normal.
Small chunk all learnings every night.

Shift In Thinking: Women Who Have Sex

With You Are Not All Sluts
The best way to get the girl you want is to have sex
with her as soon as possible
Women want a man who knows he wants and how to get
it.
She usually wont help you do this. She wants you to
figure it out for yourself.
Sometimes guys will wait to have sex with the girls they
really like because they feel like they have sex too
quickly that it will wreck the future relationship.

Nerd Thinking
I can learn the magic lines to get women, jump out of
the shadows, get one, and take her back to my nerdlair.
This is too scary. I want the magic pill.
Ive never accomplished anything in my life, I dont
like myself, and yet I cant understand why Im not good
at this.

Cool Guy Thinking

I will build confidence and social skills over a period of
time.
I will be a naturally attractive guy.
I will become a better person for women to be with,
inside and out.
I will commit to stepping out of my comfort zone and
getting myself out there.
I dont view this as work anyway. Its fun

How Do you Get Good With

Women?
Commit to going out x-nights per week.
Commit to starting conversations with x-number of
women.
You learn how to open conversations with anyone.
You learn to keep the conversation going.

How Do you Get Good With

Women?
You learn to ask for a number.
You learn to work the phone.
You learn to do a day 2 (a date).
You learn to bring a girl home.

How do you get Good with

Women..
You learn to physically escalate.
All the while you learn about your body language, her
body language, confidence, humor, charisma, and sexual
tension.
When you start out pick a default way to start
conversations, hook attention, create a vibe, get
physical comfort, ask for a number, and move to
another venue.
That way you have no excuses to sit there when you see
a girl you want to meet.

About Clubs
Clubs have the number of girls that you need to practice
Clubs have the number of girls that you need to hit
state.
Clubs make daytime seem easy.
Learn attitudes and styles of interactions of social
people.

About Clubs.
Learn to hold court
Learn to befriend large groups of people
Learn to handle social pressure
Learn to out-alpha guys
Learn to handle funny logistical puzzles

If you cant do clubs

Some guys cant do clubs because they have a lifestyle
or occupation that makes it inconvenient or impossible.
If so, you must find any social gathering where you can
meet women easily.
That varies from city to city, but wherever you are go
out and find where meeting large numbers of women is
realistic so that you can practice.

Confidence
Voice
Eye Contact
Body Language
Touch
Social Skills
Not Putting up with nonsense

Female Psychology
Social conditioning
Lack of accountability
Girls as choosers (sort of)
Change her mood not her mind
Girls live in the emotion of the moment and backwards
rationalize (we do too, but more in other areas)
Congruence tests

Female Psychology..
Secret Society (theres a double standard for one type
of guy to another)
Girl eye code (so as to not feel slutty and ratify
feelings)
Why girls are drawn to clubs subconsciously
Clubs as a revalidation venue and blow off steam
venue On some level, girls going there wanting to
meet a cool guy.
Dancing as sexual exhibitionism.

Female Psychology
Some girls are screwed up (just like some guys) because
they learned from their family that fighting is a
precursor to love.
Value matrix: they want men to fall in love with them,
they dance for hours, coquette, style themselves, read
Cosmo strategy guides, hold out sex with boyfriends,
make their boyfriends jealous to generate emotions.

Congruence Test
Sometimes people will try to force you into a submissive
role that isnt really who you are.
This can happen often in environments where people
are drunk or with girls who are used to guys putting
them on a pedestal.

Congruence Test.
Examples of that could be:

When a guy says, Show me how cool you are!

When a girl just met says, buy me a drink.
When someone who wouldnt reciprocate says, Go to the store
and et me some food.
When a girl you just me says, Is that a pickup line? or youre a
jerk!
When that happens, answering logically means that you buy into
that frame.

Congruence Test.
Instead of responding logically, your strongest responses are:
1. To answer straightforwardly, but be visibly emotionally
unaffected by what theyre trying to do.
2. To not answer at all as if what they said was too far outside of
your reality to process.
3. To cut their thread off by not responding and asserting a new
topic of conversation
4. To answer in the way they want but make them wait.
5. To answer almost in the way they want but do something
funny thats slightly different.

Congruence Test.
To jokingly call them out for trying to step up.
To joke that what they said is playing up to earlier
observations you made of them.
To joke that theyre too strong for you to handle and
that they win
To answer with something equally random and absurd as
the role theyre asserting.
To answer cryptically and make them guess what you
mean.

Congruence Test.
To answer their question or do what they ask, but make
them do something first.
To jokingly imitate them.
To give them a weird look
To ignore them entirely.

Congruence Test.
To playfully misinterpret what they said, jokingly suggesting that:
They tried to compliment you.
They tried to impress you
They tried to come on to you.
They were kidding and trying to entertain or help you.
They said something funny and weird that they didnt mean to say.
They mumbled and you couldnt hear them (making them repeat themselves).
This kind of frame control can be one of the most severely misunderstood
aspects of social dynamics. Its something thats to be used sparingly otherwise it
immediately comes across as obnoxious overcompensation.

Elements of Good Pickup

Dont get stuck inside your memorizing a structure.
Go with the flow
Any solid pick up has the following elements:

Elements of Good Pickup

Open
Hook
Touch
Vibe
Qualify
Number
Venue Change
Sex

Winging
Accomplishment intro, or Joke merge, or swap out.
Joking around with your friends and inside jokes.
Body language towards your wing.
Getting your wing in with a 2set my friend is bored
2-set dynamics with 2 on 2 approaches
You and your friend tooling each other as a joke to
demonstrate value

Open
Warm versus cold approaches
Working the room versus sticking to one girl
No eye contact is necessary.. You just appeared
Get attention (tap on shoulder if shes not facing you)
Establish dominance with your eye contact and voice.

Open
Keep talking until they open up. No way out
Structure opportunities to help them to talk.
If girls ask you questions dont let them take over and
tool you
If girls are seated then preferably either stand them up
or sit down.
Handling a rough landing with breaking rapport, pacing
and humor.

Open
Getting comfortable so you can work.
Engaging late comers (dont go backwards, but engage
them quickly)
Reinitiating lost or interrupted approaches
Determining the relationships within the group
Getting alone time with the girl.

Open.
Approaching girls facing the bar
Approaching girls on the move
Approaching girls at a table (Is a seat available? Is a
purse on the seat?)
Approaching girls alone who wants to find her friends
Approaching mixed (guy/girl) groups.

Hook
Future Adventure Projection (FAPs)
Roleplaying
Conspiracies
Busting them on their mannerisms
Misinterpretation
Push/Pull

Hook
Elastic band snapback effect
Disqualification
Pimp Talk
Qualifying and Challenging
Silly games
Imitating them or other people.

Touch..
Pinging

Tickling

Teaching something
physical in nature (very
seductive)

Wrestling

Moving her around

Neck Biting

Poking
High-fiving

Hair Pulling

Slow Down Speaking

Touch..
Get closer
Triangular gazing
Back scratching
Smelling hair
Kissing

Vibing
Be playful
Tell funny or interesting stories
Teach her funny things
Ask her questions and misinterpret her answers
Deep and wide rapport

Vibing..
Make her want to find out more about you
Vibing versus giving advice or having a set purpose
Essence of nerds
Building energy in the interaction
Knowing when to pipe in and understanding hierarchies

Qualification
Having a standard of what youll respond to so she
wants to impress
Curiosity frame
Commonalities
Understanding and demonstrating authority in her
world.
Teaching her things that make her feel closer to you.

Qualification..
Qualification and how it makes you showing interest OK
Psychology behind qualification
Qualifying and then backpeddling
Using the emotionally unexplained

Qualification
Showing her unique value to you
Giving your criteria and having her try to reach it
Misdirection
A good vibe is truly the best and most natural qualifier

Phone Number
Lets hang out later. Get you your phone. Heres my
number. Call me so I have your number.
You know what? Youre drunk arent you? I like you and
would have called you, but youre too drunk and youll
forget about me. Are you drunk right now? If I call you,
will you remember me?

Venue Changing
Rule: OVERHYPE WHEREEVER YOURE GOING
Meet your friends
Meet new people in the club
Take her to dance

Venue Changing..
Take her to get a drink (water is good)
See different parts of the club
Checking out a different venue
Go to after party

Venue Changing.
Go to eat
Go back to your house (give fun/interesting reason)
Go back to your room (give fun/interesting/nonchalant
reason)
Get on your bed
(give/fun/interesting/nonchalant/commanding reason)

SEX
Slow escalation
Teasing by moving forward
and pulling away

Wash rinse repeat

Dominance

Not arguing with token

resistance

Playing hard to get

Stopping and joking around

to make it not a big deal
Going for it when its right

Phone
When you call a girl you
might feel apprehensive
because you dont want to
lose the validation of her
like you previously.
Realize that regardless of
her reaction, it doesnt
devalidate that you need a
great approach.

Also realize that she may

have like you in the
moment but could have a
million reasons not to see
you again (boyfriend, too
inconvenient, etc..)
The other reason you might
feel apprehension is
because you cant read her
body language or see what
shes thinking like you can
face to face.

Phone..
That goes away with
practice.
You never know which girls
will call you back.
If you have trouble on the
phone you can use what
you talked about on your
last call to get your mouth
moving.

Sometimes its not a bad

idea to just call and chat
without suggesting a meet.
Through trial-and-error, you
will eventually get a sense
for when a girl is up for a
second meet up, and youll
know when it suggest it.
Use the numbers of girls
who dont like you to work
on your conversation skills.

Phone.
Take time out every one in a while to call all your numbers.
Its not a bad idea to keep your computer near by and have a brief
ledger of each girl and what you talked about.

Day 2
Bring her somewhere you enjoy
Draw her into your world. Make it cool.
A day 2 should be casual, and if you can do something fun that
doesnt involve money then all the better.
Its OK if she brings her friends.
Its OK if you bring your friends.
Its a great idea to bring her to your house, then leave, and
come back later.
Have a repeatable plan that works for you

Personality
Nice guy: Too supplicating.
Macho Guy: Too arrogant.
Both are coming from a place of reaction and
overcompensation.
Good guy: A good mix between the two. You have a
strong sense of who you are.

Implementing a Habit
Realize youre not cut from a different cloth.
You might not be that smart, but other people arent
that smart either.
What one man can do, another man can do.
Dont wait for a girl to dump you. That is reactive.
Be proactive and create the habit before the problem
occurs

Implementing a Habit
1- Get an idea of what you want
2- Formulate a plan of how often you need to show up
to get there.
3- Accept that your new activity is a part of your life for
the duration of the time youve decided, and never
decide based on emotions if youre going to show up or
not. Just show up.

Implementing a Habit
4-Dont worry if youre getting results, just stick to the
plan with blind faith, and make your criteria for success
just to show up.
5- Make it a hobby, look at the details critically without
taking advice dogmatically, and take the initiative to
shift the focus of your training when your intuition tells
you that it might help.