Influencing and

negotiating skills
 Housekeeping

mobile phones
break times
toilets
emergencies

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 Workshop overview

At this workshop the following will be addressed:

the characteristics of people who can effectively

influence others
techniques for successful negotiation
building relationships that enable cooperation and
successful negotiation outcomes

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 Workshop expectations

What do you know about the topic?

What do you need to know?

What outcomes do you expect from this workshop?

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 Influence:

the capacity or power of persons or things to be a

compelling force on or produce effects on the actions,
behaviour, opinions, etc., of others.

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 Activity

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 Topic 1

Understanding influence.

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 Activity

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 Power, influence and negotiation are interrelated.

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 Influential people are:

confident

trustworthy

positive

focused

goal oriented

action oriented

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 7 behavioural styles:

assertive

autocratic

democratic

emotional

logical

negotiating

persuasive

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 Activity

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 Topic 2

Perspectives

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 Sphere of influence

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 Circle of concern and influence

Circle of concern

Circle of
Things I truly influence Things I think
cannot control I cannot control
Things I can
control

Things about
which I care

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 Listening

A good listener hears what is said AND hears what is

meant.

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 Take the time to understand what others say.

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 Perspectives

Your Objective
own observers

Other
persons

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 Activity

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 Topic 3

Influencing behaviours

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 Listening

We have two ears and one tongue in order that we may

hear more and speak less.

(Diogenes)

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 Rapport

Always get to know the other party. Never negotiate with a stranger.

(Somers White)

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 Acuity

uptime attention focus totally external

downtime attention focus totally internal

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 Calibration

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 Framing

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 Emotional framing

Harness positive messages.

Eliminate the negative.

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 End framing

The two words 'information' and 'communication' are often

used interchangeably, but they signify quite different
things. Information is giving out; communication is getting
through.

(Sydney J. Harris)

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 Activity

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 Topic 4

Advanced communications

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 Passive people:
do not express their views, feelings and beliefs
make it easy for others to disregard their views
put themselves down to accommodate others
avoid confrontation at all costs
place themselves only in easy situations
let others make decisions
expect others to know what they want or mean

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 Aggressive people:

set out to win at the expense of other people

put others down or override their wishes, feelings or views
believe their needs are more important
express themselves in unsuitable, inappropriate ways
are verbally or physically abusive
frequently use authoritarian words such as should or must

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 Passive-aggressive people:
respond indirectly and control others by manipulation
make others feel guilty, awkward or inadequate, to get
what they want
use insincere flattery, sarcasm, barbed humour or telling
body language
appear to think highly of others but disapprove
underneath
use silence as an intimidation strategy

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 Assertiveness:

communicating needs, wants or opinions in a clear, direct,

honest manner AND maintaining respect and sensitivity to
the needs of the other party

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 The 3 step response

1. Declare your understanding of the other partys need.

2. Express your feelings and respond to the request.

3. Suggest an alternative course of action.

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 Conflict

Celebrate diversity, practice acceptance and may we

all choose peaceful options to conflict.

(Donzella Mitchell Malone)

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 Negotiating

Negotiations between conflicting parties is like crossing a

river by walking on slippery rocks...it's risky, but it's the only
way to get across.

(Hubert Humphrey)

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 Strategies:

stay calm
be positive
address issues not personalities
validate the other's point of view
be sure of your facts
avoid exaggeration
state your needs
strive for a resolution in which everyone gains something

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 Dealing with aggression

Respond assertively.

Refuse to participate unless the other party modifies their

behaviour.

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 Fight or flight instinct

Thicken your skin, make a joke, be assertive.

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 Activity

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 Topic 5

Negotiating

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 Goals

Establish your goals.

Know what you are prepared to lose and how you can
compromise.

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 Tips

Negotiation in the classic diplomatic sense assumes

parties more anxious to agree than to disagree.

(P Dean Acheson)

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 Work together

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 To deal or not to deal?

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 Influence may be the highest level of human Skills.

(Thomas Kempis)

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 Activity

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 Summary

leaving today please share:

1 thing you learned
1 new practice you will undertake at work
1 activity you enjoyed

Thankyou for your attendance and participation.

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