Emotional Intelligence

and Leadership

19th Public Procurement Forum

October 28-31, 2007
Dick Harshberger
Hampton Roads, Virginia
Presenting
Dick Harshberger Presenting
When It Comes To Emotional
Intelligence...

HOW SAVVY
ARE YOU?
1. You are on an airplane that suddenly hits extremely
bad turbulence and begins rocking from side to side.
What do you do?
A. Continue to read your book or magazine,
or watch the movie, trying to pay little
attention to the turbulence.
B. Become vigilant for an emergency,
carefully monitoring the stewardesses and
reading the emergency instructions card.
C. A little of both A. and B.
D. Not sure – never noticed
2. You are in a meeting when a colleague takes credit
for work that you have done. What do you do?

A. Immediately and publicly confront the colleague

over the ownership of your work.
B. After the meeting, take the colleague aside and
tell her that you would appreciate in the future
that she credits you when speaking of your
work.
C. Nothing, it’s not a good idea to embarrass
colleagues in public
D. After the colleague speaks, publicly thank her
for referencing your work and give the group
more specific detail about what you were trying
to accomplish.
3. You are a customer service representative and
have just gotten an extremely angry client on the
phone. What do you do?
A. Hang-up. It doesn’t pay to take abuse from
anyone.
B. Listen to the client and rephrase what you gather
he is feeling.
C. Explain to the client that he is being unfair, that
you are only trying to do you’re your job, and
you would appreciate it if he wouldn’t get in the
way of this.
D. Tell the client you understand how frustrating
this must be for him, and offer a specific thing
you can do to help him get his problem resolved.
4. You are a college student who had hoped to get
an A in a course that was important for your future
career aspirations. You have just found out you got
a C minus on the midterm. What do you do?
A. Sketch out a specific plan for ways to improve
your grade and resolve to follow through.
B. Decide you do not have what it takes to make it
in that career.
C. Tell yourself it really doesn’t matter how much
you do in the course, concentrate instead on
other classes where your grades are higher
D. Go see the professor and try to talk her into
giving you a better grade
5. You are a manager in an organization that is trying to
encourage respect for racial and ethnic diversity. You
overhear someone telling a racist joke. What do you do?
A. Ignore it. The best way to deal with these things
is not to react.
B. Call the person into your office and explain that
their behavior is inappropriate and is grounds for
disciplinary action if repeated.
C. Speak up on the spot, saying that such jokes are
inappropriate and will not be tolerated in your
organization.
D. Suggest to the person telling the joke he go
through a diversity training program.
6. You are an insurance salesman calling on prospective
clients. You have left the last 15 clients empty handed.
What do you do?
A. Call it a day and go home early to miss
rush hour traffic.
B. Try something new in the next call, and
keep plugging away.
C. List your strengths and weaknesses to
identify what may be undermining your
ability to sell.
D. Sharpen up your resume.
7. You are trying to calm down a colleague who has
worked herself into a fury because the driver of another
car has cut dangerously close in front of her. What do
you do?
A. Tell her to forget about it—she’s OK now and it
is no big deal.
B. Put on one of her favorite tapes and try to
distract her.
C. Join her in criticizing the other driver.
D. Tel her about a time when something like this
happened to you, and how angry you felt, until
you saw the other driver was on the way to the
hospital.
8. A discussion between you and your partner has
escalated into a shouting match. You are both upset and
in the heat of the argument, start making personal
attacks which neither of you really mean. What is the
best thing to do?
A. Agree to take a 20-minute break before
continuing the discussion.
B. Go silent, regardless of what your partner says.
C. Say you are sorry and ask your partner to
apologize too.
D. Stop for a moment, collect your thoughts, then
restate your side of the case as precisely as
possible
9. You have been given the task of managing a team that
has been unable to come up with a creative solution to a
work problem. What is the first thing that you do?

A. Draw up an agenda, call a meeting and allot a

specific period of time to discuss each item.
B. Organize an off-site meeting aimed specifically
at encouraging the team to get to know each
other better.
C. Begin by asking each person individually for
ideas about how to solve the problem.
D. Start out with a brainstorming session,
encourage each person to say whatever comes to
mind, no matter how wild.
10. You have recently been assigned a young manager in
your team, and have noticed that he appears to be
unable to make the simplest of decisions without seeking
advice from you. What do you do?

A. Accept that he “does not have what it takes to

succeed around here” and find others in your
team to take on his tasks.
B. Get an HR manager to talk to him about where
he sees his future in the organization.
C. Purposely give him lots of complex decisions to
make so that he will become more confident in
the role.
D. Engineering an ongoing series of challenging
but manageable experiences for him, and make
yourself available to act as his mentor.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
TRAINING
 What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the time.
• It is about being honest.

Emotional intelligence is not about being “touchy-feely.”

• It is about being aware of your feelings, and those of
others.

Emotional intelligence is not about being emotional.

• It is about being smart with your emotions.
“We are being judged by a
new yardstick; not just how
smart we are, or by our
training and expertise, but
also how well we handle
ourselves and each other.”

Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.

Working with
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence will be an
important key to leadership in
the future.
 BUT!
This conclusion is more a
function of
it is noand
belief longer enough
values, thantobased
lead by
virtueofofwhat
on traces power
wealone.
can see
today.
 Fundamental Questions

1. What emotional resources do leaders

need to thrive amidst chaos and
turbulent change?

2. How do leaders create an emotional

organizational climate that fosters
creative innovations, change,
performance, or lasting
relationships?
 Today’s business/public
environments and people issues
are far too complex to
itreturn to a top-down,
is no longer enough topower
lead by
based
virtuestyle leadership.
of power alone.
 But we still
tend to use the
old language
to describe
leadership:
bold,
brave
tough
a strong sense of
purpose and
resolve.
 These Attributes Do Not Fit
Today's Needs
 Today’s workforce does not accept the autocratic
style often adopted by leaders following historical
models of leadership.
 Leadership has had to evolve to match a growing
sense of democracy and independence in the
workforce
 Employees now have far more options and choices
than the foot soldiers of yesterday
 Leaders now need to manage and
lead an empowered workforce and
go beyond the consultative, co-
operative and democratic styles of
today. These new demands include:
Consultation and involvement
but leaders still get criticized for not
having and communicating a
compelling vision and purpose.
 Autonomy And Freedom
but leaders are still expected to
take full responsibility when
things go wrong.
 Opportunities For Growth,
Challenge And Glory
but leaders must be on hand to
coach and mentor us so that we
develop our potential.
 Inclusion And Team Spirit
but we still want our leaders to
give us individual recognition
and acknowledgement.
The “nice-is-good” theme.
it is no longer enough to lead by
virtue of power alone.
 Remember!
Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the time.
• It is about being honest.

Emotional intelligence is not about being “touchy-feely.”

• It is about being aware of your feelings, and those of
others.

Emotional intelligence is not about being emotional.

• It is about being smart with your emotions.
 It is no longer
enough to lead by
virtue of power
alone.
 DISCUSSION
“In politics, it is much safer to be
feared than to be loved.”

• Machiavelli – The Prince

Do You Agree?
Pope John Paul II
Leaders need more
than ever to appear nice, and
renewed leadership agendas
it is no longer enough to lead by
are needed.
virtue of power alone.

Ataturk Gandhi
Emotional Intelligence does
not
it fit the
is no classic
longer historical
enough to lead by
models ofpower
virtue of leadership.
alone.
 Today’s Training Will Help You
• Understand emotional intelligence and why it is
important to personal and professional success.

• Recognize five competencies you can work on to

increase your level of emotional intelligence.

• Listen to and employ your emotions for better decision

making.

• Show you care, and build trust by displaying sensitivity

and concern.

• Use your energy and enthusiasm to motivate others.

 The Five Essential Competencies of
Emotional Intelligence
• Self-Awareness

• Self-Regulation Relate to Ourselves

• Self-Motivation

• Empathy
Relate to Others
• Effective Relationships
 Personal Benefits of
Emotional Intelligence
• Greater career success

• Stronger personal relationships

• Increased optimism and confidence

• Better health
 Professional Benefits of
Emotional Intelligence
• Effective leadership skills

• Improved communication

• Less workplace conflict

• Better problem solving skills

• Increased likelihood of promotion

Let’s Score the Quiz!
 What is Leadership?

SELF-ALIGNMENT Self-Understanding
Resiliency

Customer Orientation Relationship Skills

Business Acumen LEADERSHIP Communication
Project Leadership IN THE MIDDLE Coaching/Mentoring
Managing Change Actualizing Vision

INTEGRATION WORKING WITH OTHERS

 DISCUSSION
Note How Many of the
Leadership Competencies
Rely On High Emotional
Intelligence!
 The 10 Leadership Competencies
SELF UNDERSTANDING: Self-Assessment
• Develop clarity of personal values, purpose and vision
• Develop and execute a personal strategy
• Demonstrate authenticity through behavioral alignment with
values and vision
• Taking accountability for personal and leadership actions
SELF UNDERSTANDING: Resiliency
• Willingness to jump in and get things started
• Seek opportunities for performance improvement and
development
• Build off of others ideas for the benefit of the decision
• Maintain appropriate, empowered attitude
• Persistence in managing and overcoming adversity
• Act proactively in seeking new opportunities
• Prioritization, time management
WORKING WITH OTHERS: Interpersonal & Relationship Skills
• Understand and appreciate diversity of perspective and style
• Participate and contribute fully as a team member
• Demonstrate empathy and understanding
• Build trust and demonstrate trustworthiness
WORKING WITH OTHERS: Communication Skills:
• Understand and adapt to your audience - helping others learn
• Express intention clearly and concisely in written communications
• Build collaboration and clearly articulate intention in verbal communications
• Formal presentation skills
• Listen for understanding
• Manage flow of communication/information
WORKING WITH OTHERS: Employee Development (Coach & Motivate)
• Motivating employees to high performance
• Coaching for development and improved performance
• Manage with appreciation/respect for diversity of individual values and
needs
• Delegate tasks as needed and with awareness of employee development
opportunities
• Select appropriate staff to fulfill specific project needs and responsibilities
ALIGNMENT: Customer Orientation
• Understand and apply customer needs and expectations
• Gather customer requirements and input
• Partner with customer in gathering requirements, maintaining
communication flow and managing work
• Set and monitor performance standards
 The 10 Leadership Competencies
ALIGNMENT: Strategic Business Acumen
• Demonstrate ability to ethically build support for a perspective
you feel strongly about
• Holistic view - think in terms of the entire system and the
effects and consequences of actions and decisions
• Operate with an awareness of marketplace competition and
general landscape of related business arenas
• General business acumen - functions of strategic planning,
finance, marketing, manufacturing, R&D, etc.
ALIGNMENT: Project Leadership
• Set, communicate and monitor milestones and objectives
• Gain and maintain buy in from sponsors and customers
• Prioritize and allocate resources
• Manage multiple, potentially conflicting priorities across
various/diverse disciplines
• Maintain an effective, interactive and productive team culture
• Manage budget and project progress
• Manage risk versus reward and ROI equations
• Balance established standards with need for exceptions in
decision-making
• Make timely decisions in alignment with customer and business
pace
WORKING WITH OTHERS: Creating and Actualizing Vision
• Create a clear and inspirational vision of the desired outcome
• Align the vision with broader organizational strategies
• Translate the vision into manageable action steps
• Communicate vision to enroll/enlist staff, sponsors and customers
• Influence and Evangelize (sales, negotiation)
• Gather appropriate input
• Understand individual motivators and decision-making styles and utilize to
enroll others
• Facilitate win/win solutions
ALIGNMENT: Create, Support and Manage Change
• Improvement Initiatives (three levels: managing your own transition /
transformation, managing a corporate (external) change initiative, coaching
others through transition)
• Identify and implement appropriate change initiatives/efforts
• Promote and build support for change initiatives
• Understand cost/benefit and ROI of change initiatives
• Manage transition with employees - guiding and supporting the change
process
• Support staff in navigating transitional process/challenges through
organizational change
• Demonstrate and build resilience in the face of change
Self-awareness
“If you understand your own feelings
you get a really great handle
on how you’re going to interact
and perform with others…

So one of the first starting

points is, ‘what’s going on
inside of me?’”

Chuck Wolfe
President,
C. J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
 ENERGY SOURCE
Extraversion Introversion
PERCEIVING FUNCTION
Sensing iNtuition
JUDGING FUNCTION
Thinking Feeling
LIFE STYLE ORIENTATION
Judging Perceiving
Your four-letter type represents a preference from each of the above
four dichotomies. Here are the sixteen possible combinations:
ISTJ ISFJ INFJ INTJ
ISTP ISFP INFP INTP
ESTP ESFP ENFP ENTP
ESTJ ESFJ ENFJ ENTJ

© Otto Kroeger Associates 1999

 The Temperaments: A Summary
David Keirsey’s 2 letter Temperament combinations (NF, NT, SJ, SP)
give the widest behavioral prediction with the highest accuracy.
4 TYPES TEMPERAMENT QUEST STYLE ACHILLES HEEL
ENFJ
INFJ
ENFP NF Identity Catalyst Guilt
INFP
ENTJ
INTJ
ENTP NT Competency Visionary Incompetence
INTP
ESTJ
Belonging to
ISTJ Stabilizer or Disarray or
ESFJ SJ Meaningful
Traditionalist Disorganization
Institutions
ISFJ
ESTP
Trouble
ISTP Routine or
ESFP SP Action Shooter
Inactivity
or Negotiator
ISFP

© Otto Kroeger Associates 1999

 “D” “I” “S” “C”
Descriptors Demanding Effusive
Convincing
Phlegmatic Evasive

Egocentric Superficial Relaxed Worrisome

Resistant to Change Careful
Driving Magnetic Nondemonstrative Dependent
Ambitious Political Cautious
Pioneering Enthusiastic Passive Conventional
Strong-Willed Demonstrative Exacting
Forceful Persuasive Patient Neat
Determined Warm
Aggressive Convincing Possessive Systematic
Competitive Polished Diplomatic
Decisive
Venturesome
Poised
Optimistic
Predictable
Consistent
Accurate
Tactful YOU
Deliberate
Inquisitive
Responsible
Trusting
Sociable
Steady
Stable
Open-Minded
Balanced Judgment ARE
ENERGY LINE
Conservative

Calculating
Reflective

Factual
Mobile

Active
Firm

Independent
ALL!
Cooperative Calculating Restless Self-Willed
Hesitant Skeptical Alert Stubborn
Low-Key Variety-Oriented
Unsure Logical Demonstrative Obstinate
Undemanding Undemonstrative
Cautious Suspicious Impatient Opinionated
Matter-of-Fact Pressure-Oriented Unsystematic
Mild Incisive Eager Self-Righteous
Agreeable Flexible Uninhibited
Modest Pessimistic Impulsive Arbitrary
Peaceful Moody Impetuous Unbending

Unobtrusive Critical Hypertense Careless with Details

Adapted Style D I SC D I SC

100 100

90 90

80 80

70 70

60 60

HOW 50 50 YOUR
YOU “PERFECT
ADAPT 40 40 PLACE”

30 30

20 20

10 10

0 0

Adapted Natural
 Practicing Self-Awareness:

• Awareness of our own emotional states is the

foundation of all the E.I. skills.

• Learn to “tune-in” to your emotions – they can give

you valid information about your responses to stressful
situations.

• Recognize the importance of emotions even in

“technical” fields.
 Covey’s Paradigm

Covey’s Paradigm
Self-regulation
“If we are in a heightened state
of agitation or anger we cannot
make good decisions,
we cannot reason well.”

Christine Casper
Communication, Motivation
& Management Inc.
Sometimes when you are angry with someone, it
helps to sit down and think about the problem.
 Practicing Self-Regulation:
• Accept responsibility for choosing your own emotional
responses.

• Learn to “reframe” stressful situations into ones that

are challenging.

• Be aware of, and learn to manage, your own emotional

“triggers.”
Self-motivation
“High performers are those who are
able to see with some clarity
to what degree they are
responsible for a setback and
to what degree it may be
circumstance or other people,
and as a result they are
able to be more persistent.”

Dr. J.P. Pawliw-Fry

Co-Director,
Inst. For Health & Human Potential
 Practicing Self-Motivation:

• Recognize that emotions affect your performance.

• Identify your “explanatory style.” When a setback

strikes, resist asking “what’s wrong with me?” Instead,
ask “what can I fix?”

• Work to achieve your “flow state,” being in the moment

with work tasks.
 Creating Your Own Reality

Winners EXPECT to Win!

 THE LAW OF
EXPECTATIONS
Your Personal Paradigm Lets
You Create Your Own
Reality!
“In Every Adversity Lies the
Seed of an Opportunity”
Empathy
Fortune 500 CEO’s
“If people will stop for a moment and put
themselves in another person’s shoes…
it will help them modify their
own behavior. It will help
them develop relationships
with those people.”

Darryl Grigg, Ed.D.

Co-Developer,
American Express Emotional Competence Program
 Practicing Empathy:

• Empathy means recognizing, and responding

appropriately to, the emotions of others.

• By expressing empathy, you also create empathy in others.

• Realize that emotions impact such measurable goals as

productivity and safety.
Effective Relationships
"And so there's a real pay-off.
The people who will become
the leaders, the people who
will become the star
performers, are the ones who
have the strengths in the key
emotional intelligence
abilities."

Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.

Founder,
Emotional Intelligence Services
 Creating Effective Relationships:
Employ all your emotional competencies – awareness,
regulation, motivation, and empathy – to:

• Influence and persuade others.

• Build consensus and support for team goals.

• Motivate and inspire yourself and others to achieve

those goals.
Build trust and demonstrate
trustworthiness
 Trustworthiness
Trustworthiness
Personal and Organizational

Character Competence
•Integrity •Technical
•Maturity •Conceptual
•Abundance
•Interdependency
Mentality

Stephen Covey
 Trustworthiness

Character Competence
•Integrity •Technical
•Maturity •Conceptual
•Abundance
•Interdependency
Mentality

Judgment
Stephen Covey
•Wisdom
 (Emotional Bank Account)
DEPOSITS WITHDRAWALS
Seek First to Understand Seek First To Be Understood
Keeping Promises Breaking Promises
Honesty, Openness Smooth Manipulation
Kindnesses, Courtesies Unkindnesses, Discourtesies
Win-Win or No Deal Win-Lose or Lose-Win
Thinking Thinking
Clarifying Expectations Violating Expectations
Loyalty to the Absent Disloyalty, Duplicity
Apologies Pride, Conceit, Arrogance
Receiving Feedback and Not Receiving Feedback and
Giving “I” Messages Giving “You” Messages
SO?
 SO!
If you’re a high level professional, you
probably needed an IQ of 120 or so simply
to get educated and get your job. But now it
is more important to be able to persist in the
face of difficulty and to get along well with
colleagues and subordinates (Emotional
Intelligence) than it is to have an extra 10 or
15 points of IQ. This holds true in most
professional occupations.