INTER-PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS:

UNDERSTANDING OTHERS’ NEEDS

Dr. Daisy Chauhan

Associate Professor
Management Development Institute
Gurgaon
daisy@mdi.ac.in
M:9818762933
INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

Based on Personal Qualities/Character/Integrity

Communicate by Listening
Explain
Inspire
High level of EQ can be a differentiator
Lead by example
Influence by Persuasion
Involve
Define scope but give autonomy and Empower
 FIRO-B
People need others to establish compatible relationships
In striving to establish compatibility in interactions, three
interpersonal needs emerge

These needs must be satisfied for an individual to function

effectively and avoid unsatisfactory relationships.

Basic Needs: Inclusion : Recognition, belonging, participation

Control: Influence, leading, responsibility
Affection: Closeness, warmth, sensitivity

Modes: Expressed: towards others, initiates action

Wanted: from others, wants others to

initiate action
 Need for Inclusion

Need to establish and maintain satisfactory

relation through interaction and association
Need to feel self is significant/worthwhile,
acknowledged and accepted as part of a group
Positive indicators: associate, interact, mingle
belong
Negative indicators: Exclusion, isolate,
outsider, withdrawn
Signs: Seeking participation and recognition
 Need for Control
Need to establish and maintain satisfactory
relation through use of power and control
Extent of power and prominence a person needs
Need to feel self is competent and responsible,
excelling at what we do, directing, guiding
and influencing others
Positive indicators: Power, authority, influence
Negative indicators: Rebellion, resistance,
follower
Signs: Seeking respect
 Need for Affection

 Need to establish and maintain satisfactory

relation with respect to love and affection

 Need to feel self is liked, being trusted,

appreciated and having close and authentic
relationships with others

 Positive indicators: love, like, emotionally close

 Negative indicators: Cool, emotionally distant

 Signs: Touching, close emotional relationships

 Analysis of FIRO-B Scores
Manager: I C A
Expressed 9 9 1
Wanted 8 6 4

Subordinate:
Expressed 3 4 6
Wanted 2 3 8

I : (9-2) + (3-8) = 12
C : (9-3) + (4-6) = 08
A : (1-8) + (6-4) = 09

Any score higher than 6 has been interpreted to imply a strong

possibility of incompatibility between individuals.

More compatibility among members implies positive group climate, less

hostility, more productivity and faster problem solving
Managing your Boss
Ten Ways to Manage your Boss
1. Have a good understanding of your own strengths
& weaknesses as well as your boss’s. You can
thus complement each other

2. Know your Boss’s needs, meet the legitimate ones

– loyalty, feedback, support (work related and
emotional)
3. Understand your Boss’s expectations from you

4. Take initiative – provide solutions and avoid

complaining. Seek help/guidance only when
necessary.
Ten Ways to Manage your Boss
5. Be dependable & trustworthy and let your boss
know that by your actions and behaviour - Never
criticize your boss in front of others, never
underestimate him/her.
6. Share your knowledge/expertise with your boss.

7. Keep lines of communication open with your boss

8. Sometimes it is good to offer help beyond his/her

expectations

9. Accept/Seek feedback – both positive and negative

10. Try to finish the jobs assigned by your Boss before

the deadline.
 How to Improve IPR
Be open to others views/opinions
Understand from others’ perspective
Appreciate differences
Trust others
Respect others, irrespective of their
position
Develop Sensitivity
Be willing to help
Be assertive but not aggressive
Be open to feedback about self
Accept your mistakes
Ego states & Interpersonal Behaviour
Human personality is made up of
three “ego states” These are:

P Parent Ego State

A Adult Ego State

C Child Ego State

 Desirable Ego States for IPR

Critical Parent P Nurturing Parent

A Adult

Natural Child C Adapted Child

Little Professor