COMMUNICATE

TO
COLLABORATE
A high impact workshop by Roshan Suhail

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

A voice that created history!
C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku
Words that made a difference…
C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku
 YOU
Can be the next

What would you do?

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku
 Communication is the most
discussed but unfortunately the
least understood skill we have
complete control over.

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

 n g
me thi
t’s d o so
r n t !
Le
f r e f e
D i
C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
The person I am going to
introduce is someone who….
………………………….
……………………………….

Please welcome/please put your

hands together for………

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

THE STORY EXERCISE

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

Attention please!
(Please don’t note down)

A business person was about to lock up the

jewellery store when a man holding a bag
pushed his way in. He demanded that one of
the jewellery cases be opened. The owner
unlocked the jewellery case, and its contents
were removed. A dog appeared and began
barking. The man ran away.

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

True or False
1. The man pushed his way in before the owner
locked the door.
2. The man was not carrying anything.
3. Someone took jewellery out of the case.
4. The story is about two people and a dog.
5. The store was protected by a guard dog.
6. The robber ran away.
7. The man demanded jewellery from the owner.
8. Someone unlocked the jewellery case.

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
The Answers…
1. False: the man pushed his way in before a business person
locked the door.
2. False: the man was holding a bag.
3. False: the story does not say what was in the jewelry case.
4. False: it mentions three people – a business person, the
owner, a man – and a dog.
5. False: the story doesn’t mention the dog’s purpose or
where it came from.
6. False: the story doesn’t mention a robber.
7. False: the man demanded that one of the cases be
opened.
8. True: the owner unlocked it.
C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
 The First thing….

Challenge your
Assumptions!

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

v
 My
Communication
Effectiveness Score
C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku
Let’s have a
break !

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

A Notice on Campus

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
 The 5 messages framework….
Observing Feeling Evaluating Wanting Envisioning

When I I felt Because I… And now I …so that…..

saw/heard want…

When I saw I felt terrified Because I’ve And I wanted So that the
the bear in heard that to get out bear would
the forest bears with from there not pick up
with her three cubs could fast my smell
cubs be very
aggressive

When I saw I felt Because I And I wanted So that I

the bear in overjoyed.. needed a the bear to could focus
the forest picture of stand my camera
with her three bears for my perfectly still
cubs wildlife
C2C: Communicate to
course
Collaborate:Kokoku
 Look at the blame game!
You, You, You

When you You made my Because And made Now it is too

were late life hell you’d locked me helpless late.
today the file in
your drawer

Actually he It’s only The files were The other

had what you think important Misrepresentation
Person didn’t
gone for to keep safe know that.
office
work only.

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
 The responsible
communication…..
Observing Feeling Evaluating Wanting Envisioning

When I I felt Because I… And now I …so that…..

saw/heard want…
When I got to I felt upset…. Because I And I wanted So that I
know that needed the to finish that could be
you would be file you’d job…. ready for the
late today…. locked in meeting.
your drawer

Notice the ‘I’

Statements
C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku Guru
1 ACTIVE LISTENING…

WORDS – FEELINGS - MEANING

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

An active listener accomplishes…

• Better understanding of the problem.

• Gives respect and make them feel safe.

• Improves a working relationship.

Give the gift of listening.

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

Be a better listener……
• You are saying that….
• Help me understand.
• I didn’t know you felt that way.
• I can imagine how that might have felt.
• I appreciate you being so open with me.
• I didn’t catch something you just said…
• What are you referring to when you say….
• So when …………..happened you felt…………..
C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku
FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS
ACTIVITY
Why people take FEEDBACK
negatively?
 From Feedback to
FEEDFORWARD 
Feedback Matters

• Appreciate First- COMMEND (C)

• Point at the possibility: RECOMMEND (R)
• Express hope & confidence: COMMEND (C)
How to give feedback
• COULD instead of SHOULD
• Use past as a reference for improvement.
• Use “Neutral” statements while criticizing.
• Use “YOU” statements while appreciating.
• Use “I” Statements while sharing opinions,
assumptions, expectations etc.
• Avoid generalizations. Be specific.
• Always close on an optimistic note.
FOUR SQUARES
Time for Feedback 

Remember C-R-C
Building Rapport

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

Building Rapport
• Active listening
• Match the tone.
• Eye contact
• Nod & Smile
• Friendly gestures
• Name
• Compliment
• Encourage to open up

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

15 words of
Positive communication

• I am proud of you.
• You can do it.
• That’s great.
• Thank you.
• Please!

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

Let’s break !

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
 An

ACTIO
N
is better than
thousand Ideas!
 BODY
LANGUAGE
Non-verbal
Communicati
on

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
What you don’t say
speaks more about you.

• WORDS : 7%

• VOICE : 38%

• BODY LANG : 55%

NONVERBAL BEHAVIOR INTERPRETATION

Brisk, erect walk Confidence, purposeful

Standing with hands on Readiness, aggression
hips
Sitting with legs crossed, Boredom, disinterested,
foot kicking slightly feeling cold

Sitting, legs apart Open, relaxed

Arms crossed on chest Defensiveness
Walking with hands in Dejection, deep thinking
pockets, shoulders
hunched
NONVERBAL BEHAVIOR INTERPRETATION

Hand to cheek Evaluation, thinking

Head resting in hand, eyes Disappointed, bored
downcast

Rubbing hands Anticipation

Rubbing the eye Doubt, disbelief
Touching, slightly rubbing Rejection, doubt, lying
nose

Hands clasped behind back Anger, frustration,

apprehension
POWER POSITIONS

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
 What do you mean?

• I didn’t say you were stupid.

• I didn’t say YOU were stupid.
• I didn’t say you were STUPID.

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

 I can’t do
•
•
it…
You don’t know how to do it.
You have some problem doing it.
• You are busy with something else.
• You don’t think it’s your job. (No authority)
• You don’t want to do it because…..
- You don’t like it.
- You have had a bad experience with that.
- You are afraid that….
C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku
The 5 intents…

• Inform
• Persuade
• Inspire
• Educate
• Entertain

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

 Say what you mean
Mean what you say…
• The other person wants to know your intention.
• If it’s your opinion: Say I think/In my opinion.
• If you want help: Say I need help.
• If you want to help: Say I can help it.
• If you are happy/excited
• If you agree
• If you want to appreciate
• Say……………………..GREAT!!!
C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku
C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku
 Let’s
start

introductio
C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku
 Communicating
Confidently
(Being Assertive)

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

What‘s your style?
YOUR NEEDS OTHER’S NEEDS AGGRESSIVE

YOUR NEEDS OTHER’S NEEDS PASSIVE

YOUR NEEDS OTHER’S NEEDS ASSERTIVE

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku

 CONFRONTATIONAL
- Sound blaming people instead
of looking at the problem.
- Bring in the past behaviour and
increases heartburn.
- Includes absolutes like “never”,
always
- Includes words like “should”
“must” etc.
- Includes direct or implied
commands.
- Indicates a sense of superiority
& to make mistakes.
- Doesn’t provide an opportunity
to other person for face saving.
COOPERATIVE
- Focuses on fixing problems
- Leaves the past behind, focuses
on the present and the future.
- Includes qualifiers such as “It
might be”, “Perhaps”, “It is
possible”. Etc.
- Uses words and phrases with
reduced negative emotional
impact.
- Treat people as human, prone
- Allows a face saving for others.

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
Agree to disagree….

• You are wrong.

• You may be right.
• I disagree.
• I see it differently.
• You don’t understand that.
• Can I explain it to you?

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
Let’s try rephrasing…..

• You are not listening to me.

• Can I have a moment to explain.
• Don’t do it again.
• If that comes up again. Try….
• You will have to ask Mr. Awasthi (boss)
• I think talking to Mr.Awasthi may be helpful to you.
• Why are you doing this?
• I am having trouble understanding your decision.
Can you explain please?
C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
How to criticize
Without offending….

• What is most important……..TIMING

• Let him feel, it is human. NO BIG DEAL.
• Criticism with care. Use CRC approach.
• Keep it private.
• Criticize the act, not the person.
• Use language of possibilities.
• What could have been done instead of
what should have beento done.
C2C: Communicate
Collaborate:NTPC
How to criticize
without offending…

• I was expecting a better job from a sincere

person like you.
• You are always very careful in dealing with
major clients. I was wondering how….
• I can see the amount of efforts that must have
gone in preparing this document…a re-check
could have eliminated the spelling errors.
• I have always respected you for being……..there
may be some reason that you are behaving……

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:NTPC
How to say NO….
• I am in the middle of something important.
• I am not comfortable with that.
• I have no experience in that.
• I have another commitment.
• Right now I need to focus on …..
• I would rather decline than mess up with the job.
• I don’t enjoy that kind of work.
• I don’t have anymore room in my schedule.

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:NTPC

 How to say NO….

• A desire to please prevents us from saying NO

• Saying NO is your right.

• You can be polite, yet FIRM!

C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:NTPC

 Are you too busy to appreciate….

• Be specific.
• Be timely
• Be fair
• Be public
• Be relational.

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:NTPC
 Before
we have a
break !

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
 I
appreciate!

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:NTPC
Lets have a break !

C2C: Communicate to
Collaborate:Kokoku
MIXED WEDDING
C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku
 ROSHAN SUHAIL
09891358681
www.roshansuhail.in
roshansuhail@gmail.com
Facebook.com/roshanforyou
C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku
 Feedback

Time
C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku
 See you
tomorrow
C2C: Communicate to Collaborate:Kokoku