Understanding Values

in Human Relationships
Relationships
 Relationships
Parents-Children Teacher-Student Husband-Wife

Friends Leader-assistant at work place

FAMILY- basic unit of human interaction
Neighborhood
Family
Starting from
Father Mother
family each one
of us are Work
involved in the
Extended
relationships Family
with society
and its
different parts.
School Children

Religious
Organizations
 Relationships
• Feeling or sense of emotional
bonding with another;
• Relationships are reality of our
life;
• Relation extends from one self
to the entire existence;
• One of the most beautiful
aspects of human life
 Relationships
• Relationship is between
oneself and the other self (I);
• Self (I) has the feelings in
relationship which are
definite;
• The feelings are fundamental
to the relationship and can be
recognized;
• Recognition and fulfillment of
these feelings leads to
happiness of all;
Understanding human being as the co-existence of
‘Self’ and the material ‘Body’
Human = I (Self) Body
Need (Respect, trust) (Food)
(Happiness) (Physical Facility)
In Time Continuous Temporary
In Quantity Qualitative Quantitative
Fulfilled by Right Understanding Physico- Chemical Things
& Right feeling ( Food, Shelter etc.)
Activities Desiring, thinking, selecting etc. Eating, Breathing, etc
Type Consciousness (Non- Material) Material

The non- materialistic happiness needed for self is called SUKH.

while acquiring physical facilities can be called SUVIDHA.
 Human Behavior
• On the basis of physical facilities one cannot
ensure relationship ( and its continuity). This is
because the feelings coming due to physical
facilities does not have a continuity.
• Physical facilities can at best influence ( or
sometimes even dominate ) the other person,
but they can never ensure a feeling of assurance
in relationship, which ultimately leads to our
unhappiness.
Relationships
 Feelings (Values)
These feelings ( Emotions, Values) could be as follows:
1. Trust ( Vishwas ) ----> Foundation Value
2. Respect ( Samman )
3. Affection (Sneha )
4. Care ( Mamta )
5. Guidance (Vatsalya )
6. Reverence ( Shraddha )
7. Glory ( Gaurav )
8. Gratitude ( Kritagyata )
9. Love ( Prem ) -------> Complete Value
All the feelings are already within you- understanding only
makes you aware and once you are aware of it there is
continuity of these feelings and you are able to fulfill them
 Feelings (Values) in Relationship
• TRUST- the foundational value
• “to be assured that each human
being inherently wants oneself
and the other to be happy and
prosperous.”
• Factors affecting Trust:
• Intention;
• Competence;
Differentiating between intention and competence

1. Trust: To be assured that the other human being wants to

make me happy & prosperous.

Trust is thus called the foundation value or ‘adhar mulya’.

 RESPECT
Respect is right evaluation.
Need of ‘I’ is that ‘I’ should be evaluated
as I am,
I should evaluate others as they are.
If I don’t do this, it is disrespect.
The other is similar to me
Disrespect:
The other is similar to me and the difference could only
be at the level of understanding.
 Differentiation
Differentiation

Body Physical Facility Beliefs

Wealth
Sex
Isms
Physical Post
Age Strength
Sects
Race

Trident ET Group of Institutions -

8/29/2011
Faculty of Management
 Affection (Sneha)
• Affection is the feeling of being related to
the other.
• Affection comes when I recognize that we
both want to make each other happy and
both of us are similar. I feel that I am
related to the other that the other is a
relative of mine. This feeling is called
affection.
• “This feeling of acceptance of the other, as
one’s relative is the feeling of affection or
sneha in relationship”
 Competition
• There is a lot of talk of competition today.
• You will find that competition results when there
is lack of affection.
• When there is affection, I help the other grow.
• When I miss this feeling, I try to beat the other,
act as an opponent.
• It has been assumed by us generally, that in
certain spheres of life, we do need to
compete with the other, treating the other as an
opponent.
• We want excellence, not competition
Affection or sneha is the recognition of the feeling
that the other is related to me. It comes naturally
once trust and respect are recognized in
relationship.

The basic crisis today is that of Trust and Respect

Once we have these, affection naturally follows.

 Care & Guidance

Care ( Mamta ):
The feeling of responsibility of
nurturing and protecting the
body of the relative.

Guidance (Vatsalya ):
The feeling of ensuring
right understanding and
feeling in the ‘I’ of the
relative.
Reverence (Shraddha ):
The feeling of acceptance for
Excellence. Here excellence
means -understanding of the
harmony and living in that
Harmony at all the levels

Glory ( Gaurava):
The feeling for someone
who has made efforts for
excellence.
Gratitude ( Kritagyata ):
The feeling of acceptance for
those who have made effort for
my excellence.

Love ( Prem ):
The feeling of being related to all, to
every unit in existence, the entire
existence.
This feeling or value is also called
the complete value (Purna mulya),
since this is the feeling of
relatedness to all human beings.
Common misunderstanding Preconditioning Related to Love
– The sensation & feeling is mixed up

Sensation – Liking, Lust, Vasna, based on getting from

the other, no continuity is possible.

Feeling – Love, Prem, based on giving to the other,

continuity is desirable and possible.

Love is a feeling – onceTrust, Respect, Affection, Care,

Guidance… are ensured, the feeling of being related to all
follows naturally.

15
 Harmony from Family to
World Family
In the family, we learn to recognize relationship,
the definite feelings or the values and learn how to
fulfill them.

When we understand the values in relationship with

other units in nature too, we are able to recognize our
connectedness with them too, and fulfill it.

Undivided Society - feeling of being related to every

human being. The feeling of being related to every
human being leads to our participation in an undivided
society(Vasudev kutumbkam).
ॐ सर्वे सुखिनः सन्तु । May everybody be happy.
सर्वे सन्तु ननरामयाः। May everybody be free from illness.
सर्वे भद्रानि पश्यन्तु। May everybody have good luck.
मा कनित् दु ःि भाग्भर्वेत्॥ May no one suffer.
ॐ शाखन्तः शाखन्तः शाखन्तः ॥ Om, peace (in me), peace (in
nature), peace (in divine forces)
Conclusion for life
• To be a good human being to yourself and
others.
• No one is a stranger. Everyone is your own.
• Have faith in people.
• All relationships are forever.
• Don’t expect “something” out of relationships.
• People are fundamentally good,
It is better to get cheated occasionally than to be
suspicious of everyone.
Accept the relationship
• Don’t assume you have a choice

• Just like parents, brothers, sisters

• you don’t choose them

• All relationships are forever

• Don’t expect “something” out of relationships