Custom Cards Against Humanity `s pack (Part 1 )

Created by the awesome site http://customcardsagainsthumanity.com

When Ivou
Quando go ao
to trabalho,
work I eu Wecompramos
Ns just bought uma______ I love
Eu amothe smell
o cheiro deof
_______
_______
_______ com meu
with amigo
my para o escritorio
______ for the office _______
pela manhin the
firend morning.

Over the yearseuI've _________

________no uma
is not coisa
just Hangover 4:
Me ame quando ______,
to simples de fazer, leva
mas me odeie
learned quando eu
my significant something you
anos de pratica e can _____________
______
other loves it when I do. It takes years of
concentrao
______, but hates it practice and
when I _____. concentration.

Welcome
Bem toprograma
vindo ao It ain't
Isto no over until at
vai acabar thevoe Lista de compras:
Grocery po, leite,
List: Bread,
_______ _________ ovos e ________
______ The show fat ________ sings. milk, eggs, soda,
where ________ , and Cool
everything's _______ Whip.
_.
Quando Mantenha seus amigos
When Ieuam for president,
presidente, I always
Eu call in
fui trabalhar sick to
mesmo Keep your friends
criarei um governo baseado estando com um grave caso prximos, e seus ________
I will increase
em _________
work when I have a close,
mais but your
prximos ainda
de ________
government funding of bad case of ________closer.
________ ___________.

The power
O poder of love
do amor is
intil Thank you
Obrigado Mario
Mario, mas but
a I see
Eu vejoyour _________
seu/sua ________
contra ________ princesa est ________
useless against our princess is in , and raise you
________. __________. ___________ .

EAnd
o prmio de melhor
the award for _____ horacan't
You de falar
waitcom o seu
forever. EThe
o novo produto
next da Apple
big Apple
vai para _________ mdico sobre ________ o i_________
best costume goes to It's time to talk to your product is the
______________. doctor about i_______________.
_____________.
O ingrediente secreto do Liberdade pode ser comprada Essa quantidade de _____
The secret ingredient If only freedom
cachorro quente ________ com _______
could That is an illegal
ilegal
in hot dogs is be purchased with amount of
______________. _____________. ___________.

No Atualmente, meu wallpaper

Esse
It's asite sobre A
website. _______ No !!!!
noVoce no pode
no don't shake Currently the
julgar um ________ ________
website about the ___________. wallpaper on my
_____________. computer is
___________.

Ser popular leva a_______
Popularity leads to
____________.
Eu pedi uma pizza com Quando eu for presidente,I
I ordered a Pizza with
______, mas ela estava
When I'm president,
prometo lanar _______
______________,
coberta de ________ promise
para a lua to launch
and when I got it, it _________________
was covered with to the moon.
_________________
_.
Disney
Disneyapresenta,
presents______ Voce estinem
Youre boashands
good mos Vai
Gopikachu, use _______
go gadget
no gelo! com _______
______ on ice! with ______________!
______________.

You have
-Voce my sword!
tem minha espada! Apparently the
Aparentemente, secret
o ingrediente Whattemakes
Oque you so
faz to especial?
-E meu arco! secreto apenas _______
my bow ! and my ingredient is just special?
-E meu/minha _______!
________ ! _____________.

Amigos para ________

Bros before Lorde
Lord do/da _______
of __________. The walking
_________. __________.
What
Qual is your
o seu maiorgreatest
medo? Eu ficohappy,
I am feliz quando
when______ When eu
Quando I fart, I blame
peido, it
eu _____
phobia? __________ stands on ________.
up in the morning.

The secret ingredient _______para

________ for manequins
dummies.
in hot dogs is ______.
Pesquise por WWW. ______
If I owned
____.com
www.__________.co
m, I'd get a ton of hits.

Oque deve acontecer com o ________ deu gives

um novo
Justin Bieber won the _________ a A hottcnica
Nova new alternative
de medicina
Justin Bieber? significado para ________
________ award. whole new meaning to envolve
medical_______
practice
___________. involves placing ____
in ____.
Nunca deixe_______
Nobody de lado
puts ______ The realtodos
reason I've All the
Oque todacool kidslegal
criana arefaz?
Eu reuni hoje para
in a corner. gathered you all
_______ doing it.
together today is
_________.

__________ o passatempo ________ um pouco

Bieber
Joo "reeked
de Santo offoi
cristo ____ Is Obama's Pick
preferido de Lula
______ are a little
diferente na Russia
recebido com _______
____" when he was for Next NSA Director. different in canada.
quando chegou em
pulled over.
Braslia

Armas
guns no matam
don't pessoas!
kill people; Pesquisas
Only 69% apontam
of que IEualways
semprecarry _____
levo ________
________ matam pessoas _______ feito por 69% dos na my
minha mochila
_____ does! Americans eat _____.
brasileiros in purse.
________ mata cerca de No to simples _______
_____ kills about 240 One does not simply OI plan
nome to
doname my ser
meu filho(a)
290 pessoas nos EUA todos at Mordor
people _________
os anos in the US walk into _______. next child
every year. ___________.

AThe
unicaonly
coisathing
pior que _____
OThe Devil
diabo wears
costuma ________ Forcing ayour
Obrige-o lover to
___________ more
_______
______. call you________. boring than _____ is
_______.

Como _______, deve ser japons

Howdeveria
do wesecelebrate
comemorar Oque pode levar
_______: umaa
That's _____. GODDAMN IT
o dia internacional da mulher? empresa a falncia?
international women's deal -breaker. JAPAN!
day?
The bad
O bom, theegood
o mal and
_______ I was orgulhoso
Fiquei strangelyquando
prouda __________.
____ ! Not No
justfao
for mais
criana pediu isso a anos
the _____. when my kid_________
asked ____ anyone.
para o papai noel
Santa for ________.

Oque
"___:deve
the ter em um crime
perfect Trying
Estou to find auma
procurando store
loja Fotografia
3D printed3D _______
de_________
perfeito? que vende _________
crime." that is open on a
holiday and sells
______.

Adoraria
I whouldajudar
lovemas estou
to help Na Na Na _______. I amcarregando
Estou charging meu
my _____
tendo_________
you but _____. ______.
Oque
Whatnunca se deve
should you fazer Ele
He morreu fazendo
died doing oquehe
what 50
50tons de _________
Shades of ______.
durante o sexo? amava. Ele morreu ______
never yell during sex? loved, ______ .

Pai, oque voce

Daddy? estaare
What fazendo? Jack
Drawdesenhou um(a)
me, Jack. _____
Draw It's not length it's
you doing? me like ______. ______.

Porque o Kennyyou
You bastard morreu?
killed AThe
novanext
modatop
__________
model is Six Flag's new thrill
_____! ____. ride lets you
experience _____ at
120 miles per hour.
Qual
Turnsa melhor coisa
out you que se
can't He's absolutely
Aposto que o coc dele tem You know
Oque whateste
pode deixar would
dia
pode fazer ao vivo na TV? cheiro de _________ melhor?
______ on live magnificent, I bet his make this day even
television. poop smells like ____. better? ____ for
everyone!

House of 1000 _____. No acredito

I cant que _______
believe Im vou
No not mentir,
going euto odeio
lie. I
est usando ___________ ________
_______ is using despise __________.
para promover _________
__________ to There, I said it
promote __________.

A wise man said,

Tudo que voce faz na vida
Because
J que voce you
curteenjoyed
_______, Cancel all myos meus
Cancele todos
Everything is about
pra ___________ achamos que talvez
__________, wegostaria compromissos,
meetings. We_________
have
de ________ precisa da minha ateno
sex. Except sex. Sex thought youd like got a situation with
is about __________. __________. __________ that
requires my
immediate attention.
 Jiminy Christmas! It's ______ fest. The __________
A dieta diet.
de ___________
_________

Meninos e meninas, hora Parece que we

encontramos Nessa poca do ano, comea
Boys and Girls, its Look like Found a Whats in season at
de _________ um(a) __________ a temporada de________
time to ____. ______. the farmers market?

Eu sempre gasto
I always blamemeu
mydinheiro
red Quando Osama atacar
When Obama sua
comes The best place in
com ________ cidade, eu irei _________
light camera ticket on to town,_____ goes to ____ to have sex is
_____. shit. _____.
Eu vi o Fausto
I saw com ______ Voce
a Kardashian Omg,no pode simplismente
you can't just Stopdetrying
Pare to make
amar________
perguntar para as pessoas se
with _____. askso/esto
elas people __________
if they're ______ a thing! It's
___! not going to be a
thing!

It's dangerous
perigoso to go
ir sozinho, leve Ento,
Wouldelayou
encostou seus
put your what's
Qual the secret
o segredo to
para vener
________ com voce lbios no/na_________ os jogos vorazes?
alone! Take ____. lips on ______ ? winning the hunger
games?

Gandalf
Gandalf, othe ______.
__________ Planto Globo: O
BREAKING Brasil
NEWS: Qual
The anew
novakinder
surpresa
eggdo
passando por uma onda de Kinder Ovo?
____ is having a
___________ surprise is ______.
scandalous affair with
_____ .
Vida longa e _________
live long and ____. what voce
-Oque was estava
___ doing
fazendo Worst
O/A pior ___ awardque eu
_________
quando ele morreu?
when he/she/it died? jgoes
vi to ____ .
-____________
(2 cards)

Theoworst
Qual super
pior super poder? Deus,
Dear obrigado por _______
God, Thank you Como nascem
Where os bebes?
do babies
powers? for ____. come from?

Porque eu sou assim? _________, o novo filme

Why am I like this? Nicolas Cage new rollde Shhh
O bebe my
estababy is ____
__________
Michael Bay
is ____
Today isdia
um lindo Saturday
para _______ _____ in aembox.
_________ uma caixa Making
Fazer jokes
piadas about
sobre _______,
uma forma de ________
and I am going to _______ is a form of
______. ______.

________.
_________. Is the
para isso que o This ___________ is Today is Saturday
treinamento
reason whyserve
your at going to need a and I'll ____
diversity training ___________ to make
it pop.

CUIDADO!!!!!!!
WARNING! ________
Choking no
indicado para menores de 3
Hazard: ____. Not for
anos
children under 3
years.
The main ingredient of Depois de horas no
After roaming thedeserto,
entrei em desespero ao ver
banana bread is ____. desert
que meu for hours,
cantil estavaI cheio
was
disappointed
de __________ ao to invs de
gua
discover my canteen
was full of ____
instead of water.
I never
Eu nuncawould have
achei que esse My secret
Qual project
meu plano I
secreto? Saturday
Naquela nights
noite, at
__________
mercado
expectedvendia ________
my local have never shared estava
______ cheio
aredehosted
_________
by
supermarket to have with anyone is ______ with music by
____. _______! ______ .

Eu gosto do meu caf assim A prxima roupa da Laddy Meu computador

I like my coffee like I Lady Gaga's next I just filled myest
1.5 cheio
Tb
como gosto de minha mulher. Gaga ser inspirada em __ de fotos de __________
like my
Cheio women...
de__________ costume will be
______
hard drive with
Filled with ____. inspired by ______. pictures of ________.

__________,
_____ conectando
connecting In futuro,
No the near future, vai
a sociedade OThe dateestava
encontro had been
indo bem,
pessoas estar cheia de________ at que vi ___________
people. social media will be going well until I
replaced by ____. noticed ____ stuck in
her teeth.
Que gosto
____. UGH! esse?
Oh God, I Oque
Whatumdoesn't
bandido ano espera That is some ____
encontrar na casa que esta
can taste it. It's in my burglar want to find in
roubando? costume you got there
mouth. the house that they Duncan. It's a child's
are robbing? extra large.

Para curar my
minhas espinhas, Oque leva alguem a se tornar
To cure rash, the What caused the What was haunting
o mdico me receitou ______ um sem teto?
doctor prescribed homeless person to Ke$ha's vagina?
____. lose their home?

Voce pode fazer ________, Se eu no posso ter _______,

The cure for AIDS You can do ____, but If I can't have ____,
mas no pode fazer _______ ningum poder
was discovered. Who not ____. no one can!
knew all you needed
was ____.
I'll take ____ for $500 Lay's created the new ____ and ____ and
Alex. ____ flavored potato ____, oh my!
chips.

Enquanto ________ entregava

_________
__________DETECTADO! While delivering a
_________, ele(a) foi
It's a ______.
RISCOS PARA A MISSO:
DETECTED, _______, ________
assasinado
0%
PROBABILITY OF was shot in the head
MISSION outside of ________
HINDERENCE: 0%

Hadjyou
Voce hugged
abraou your
________ Fighting _____ by Meu/minha _________
My Little _____;
hoje? mgico
_____ today? moonlight, winning _____ is Magic.
_____ by daylight.
________ nunca foi um
The _____ never Game
Game ofof _____;
_________. "Lots of people
incomodo pra mim
bothered me anyway. _____ is isComing.
________ coming! _____." "Lots of
cunts."

AFor
noite esta escura e cheia _________. Isso um
Valar Morghulis: All the night is dark, _____.
fetiche
That's a fetish.
de _________
men must _____. and full of _____.

I used to be an My new
Minha novaburlesque
apresentao Hey, I just met you,
adventurer like you. se chama
show is _______
called _____. and this is crazy, but
Then I took a _____ here's _____, so
to the _____. _____ maybe.
Spokane
Golpe Daiquiri
especial: _________ Greendale's new _____; now playing at
Factory's newest mascot is _____. the Magic Lantern.
special is called
_____.

Harry Potter and the You must be a _____, Epic Rap Battles of
_____. because you _____. History! _____ vs.
_____! Begin!

Why I'm
Porque eu Voting
votei no UKIP?
PT? The Hogsmeade trip Everyone you sleep
was completely ruined with dies because
by __________ ______.
The
A bestparte
melhor partdeofacordar I like my ____ like I ALady
nova musica
Gaga'sdonew
raa negra
________ sobre ________
waking up is ______. like my _____... Filled song is about ______.
with ____.

Make ____ not _____ new hot feature Superman! We're

______. is _______ . ______!

Tem hora e lugar pra ______,

Sorry, Mom, Dad, I've O.K.,o what
Oque chefe would
quer queLord
ns There's a time and
faamos agora? mas agora no
got a ______. Business least expect place for ________,
us to do? but not now!
I win
Eu the ogame
ganhei jogo porque Do not meddle in the A Judge in Canada
_________
because _______. affairs of ________, has ruled that a
for you are tasty and married couple cannot
go great with name their child
________. _______.

An alternate reality in EmOnseuheraniversario,

which ______ is
famous for _____.
weddingStalin
day, The best halloween
foiDaenerys
presenteadowascom _______ costume this year
presented with goes to ____, ____
_______. and, ___ as The
Human Centipede.

I got
Fui fired from
demitido my chefe
hoje. Meu job We
O jurithe jury findculpado
o sentenciou the When I woke up after
me pegouMy
today. vendo _________
boss por ____________
defendant guilty of the the party,I was laying
no computador
caught me looking at charge of ________ in bed next to
_______ on the ________
computer.
Teorias da conspirao
Conspiracy dizem Qual
theorists Whato sentido
is the da vida?
meaning I'm going to the picnic,
que __________ ________
are now saying that of life? and I'm bringing ___,
_______ is actually ___, and ___.
_______

On Wednesdays, we HI EVERYBODY OThe only

nico jeitoway to
de _________,
wear ___. LARRY HRYB XBOX ______
___________
is to pesado
______.
LIVE'S MAJOR Hard.
NELSON HERE AND
I'M EXCITED TO
TELL YOU ABOUT
_________.

As vezes, sinto Ique

Sometimes feel_______
like Uh oh, I think the Honey, I shrunk the
a unica coisa no universo
_____
que pode is
methe onlyfeliz
deixar ____ broke. ____.
thing in this universe
that can get me off.
Quando ___________ se _______. A melhor inveno
When the ____ get
torna forte, __________
Come with me, and ____. The best thing
desde a roda
atough the tough get
nica soluao we'll be, in a world of since sliced bread.
____. ______ ______.

Hey lil mama let me I'd like to reenact 50 Too ____ to live. Too
whisper in yo _____. Shades of Grey with ____ to die.
______.

Do que importa __________,

Finding ________
Encontrei (a/an) ______
na caixa What's the point of
quando se tem _________.
If you like it then you
de areia do gato
in the sandbox. ________ when you should have put a
have ________? ______ on it.
1, 2, ____________
1,2, gonna buckle my Captain Hooks AThe
dietahipster diet adulto
de um canguru
3, 4, ____________ consiste de _________ 7
____. 3,4, knock at
5, 6, ____________
Special _____ mostly consists of
vezes ao dia
____.
7, 5, 6, pick up
8, ____________ ________ and
9, 10, ___________
____. 7,8, lay ____ ________.
straight. 9, 10, sing it
over again!

Apparently
Parece I sonmbulo,
que sou Would you rather be I know it seemed like i
pois meu colega de quarto
sleepwalk because caught ________, or would never get over
me viu _________ as 3 hrs
mymadrugada
da roommate caught have a threesome it,but using _______
me _______ at 3 AM. with ________ and i'm getting over it
________?

Gloryholes contain I used to be Novo

Newmutante
to the de X-Man, ter
X-Men:
o poder de controlar ______
____________. ________, but then I _________
com sua mente Man! Who
took an arrow to can control
________. _________ with his
mind.
I hear Tell about a Even ____ calls him Hot yoga in the middle
______, and some ZionSpartan. of winter leaves me
______. feeling ______.

Who's that Pokmon? After watching two Hilary Clinton into

girls one cup, I felt bondage because
______ . _______.

Knock! Knock! Who's The best Rapper ________ me

__________, makes me
deixou com
there? name that never was: dor
sore all over.
____________. _________.
My first
Minha experience
primeira experiencia AThe
nicaonly difference
diferena entre _____ What was inside the
com a internet envolveu e between
______, _______
with the internet _______ and briefcase in Pulp
__________
involved ________. _______ is ________. Fiction?

Today in the news, a Why is

Poque temthere blood
sangue em toda Even after _______,I
a sala?
Florida man was everywhere? still can't seem to get
arrested after seen rid of ________.
stealing ________.

Eu
Mytomo esteroides
ex took para to
steroids
compensar meu/minha
overcompensate for
_________
______