CAPÍTULO

Á RVORE FAMILIAR
CAPÍTULO UM
CAPÍTULO DOIS
TRÊ S
CAPÍTULO QUATRO
CAPÍTULO CINCO
CAPÍTULO SEIS
CAPÍTULO
OITO
CAPÍTULO NOVE
CAPÍTULO DEZ
CAPÍTULO ONZE
CAPÍTULO DOZE
CAPÍTULO TREZE
CAPÍTULO 14
CAPÍTULO QUINZE
CAPÍTULO DEZESSEIS
CAPÍTULO DEZESSETE
CAPÍTULO DEZOITO
BÔ NUS
AGRADECIMENTOS
 Lily
A pró xima geraçã o Carter Brother Novella
Livro 7
Por Lisa Helen Gray
 Copyright ©
Direitos autorais reservados
2021
Lisa Helen Gray
Editado por Stephanie Farrant em Farrant Editing
Design de capa por Cassy Roop em Pink Ink Designs
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mera coincidência.
 Á RVORE GENEALÓ GICA
(AS IDADES ESTÃ O SUJEITAS A ALTERAÇÕ ES AO LIVRO)

Maverick & Teagan

- Faith (noivado com Beau)
- Lily (casada com Jaxon)
- Mark
- Aiden (com Bailey)

Mason & Denny

- Esperança
- Ciara
- Ashton

Malik e Harlow
- Madison (Gêmeo 1)
- Maddox (Gêmeo 2 – com Amelia)
- Trent

Max & Lago

- Landon (Triplet 1 – com Paisley)
- Hayden (Triplet 2 – com Clayton)
- Liam (Triplet 3)

Myles & Kayla

- Charlotte (com Drew)
- Jacob
Evan (irmã o de Denny) e Kennedy
- Imogen
- Joshua
ÁRVORE FAMILIAR

CAPÍTULO UM

CAPÍTULO DOIS

CAPÍTULO TRÊS

CAPÍTULO QUATRO

CAPÍTULO CINCO

CAPÍTULO SEIS

CAPÍTULO SETE

CAPÍTULO OITO

CAPÍTULO NOVE

CAPÍTULO DEZ

CAPÍTULO ONZE

CAPÍTULO DOZE

CAPÍTULO TREZE

CAPÍTULO QUATORZE

CAPÍTULO QUINZE

CAPÍTULO DEZESSEIS

CAPÍTULO DEZESSETE

CAPÍTULO DEZOITO
CAPÍTULO BÔNUS

RECONHECIMENTOS
CAPÍTULO UM
Lírio

O cheiro fresco e fresco da neve enche o ar, combinado com o

delicioso aroma de castanhas assadas, carne de porco desfiada e
vinho quente. Há um aroma de pinho das lareiras ao redor do
restaurante ao ar livre, aumentando o clima festivo.
Luzes de todos os tipos estã o envoltas em postes de luz, decorando
barracas e penduradas acima de nó s como um tú nel em arco no
mercado ao ar livre. E em frente à grande á rvore de Natal decorada,
cançõ es de natal estã o sendo cantadas por um coral local, o que
aquece meu coraçã o. Há pessoas correndo para receber presentes
de ú ltima hora, mas outras - como eu - querem mergulhar na
atmosfera.
É minha época favorita do ano. A festa, o aconchego e o calor trazem
de volta algumas das melhores lembranças. Meu primeiro Natal
ainda é um dos meus favoritos, embora a cada ano, exceto o ano
passado, tenha melhorado.
É o meu favorito porque nã o só foi o meu primeiro, mas é o primeiro
que passei com a família. É o Natal que me fez perceber que nã o
estava sozinha, que era amada. É o primeiro Natal que eu realmente
entendo o que significa pertencer. Foi má gico em todas as melhores
maneiras.
Meus pensamentos vã o para aquela manhã , para como minha vida
mudou naquele dia...
Faith gentilmente me acorda, me fazendo entrar em pânico. Estou
acostumada a mãos ásperas, tapas fortes ou ser puxada rudemente da
cama, e embora ela não tenha feito nenhuma dessas coisas, ainda faz
meu coração disparar.
"O que está errado? Ela voltou para mim?”
"Você tem que acordar", Faith sussurra-grita.
Eu esfrego o sono dos meus olhos. Levei séculos para adormecer,
então eles se sentem inchados e doloridos. "O que está acontecendo?
Eu preciso sair?”
Suas sobrancelhas se juntam. "Não bobo. É Natal. Significa que o
Papai Noel já esteve.”
O medo serpenteia pela minha espinha. “Quem é o Papai Noel? Ele vai
nos machucar?”
"Está bem. Ele não vai nos machucar. Ele traz bons presentes para as
crianças.”
Presentes? Agora um pouco da neblina me deixou, lembro vagamente
deles falando sobre um Papai Noel, mas não sabia o que eles queriam
dizer. Eu ainda não. “E se você for ruim?”
Ela se inclina para a frente, cobrindo a boca com uma das mãos, e me
diz baixinho: “Você é colocado em uma lista impertinente e ganha um
pedaço de carvão”. Ela se senta, me olhando. “Eu nunca estive nisso.
Ter você?"
“Eu nunca tive Natal.”
Seus olhos ficam redondos como pires. "Nunca?"
"Não. É porque eu estava na lista de travessuras?”
Ela pega minha mão, a dela sempre quente e reconfortante. Eu amo
minha nova irmã. Ela me faz sentir bem-vindo e seguro. E ela me
deixa brincar com todos os seus brinquedos. Ela tem milhões.
A porta do nosso quarto se abre e Maverick, meu pai, entra. Eu o
chamo de pai, mas às vezes é confuso porque ele também é meu
irmão. Ele parece ter se machucado enquanto me observa.
“Papai, conte a ela sobre o Papai Noel de novo!”
Eu olho para ele. “Eu fui colocado na lista de travessuras?”
Ele se senta ao meu lado. “Princesa, ele nunca conseguiu seu endereço.
Mas tudo o que você perdeu, ele garantiu que você tenha hoje, e ele
quer que você saiba que ele sente muito. Você nunca esteve em
nenhuma lista impertinente.”
Eu enrugo meus lábios quando algo se agita no meu estômago. Não
consigo entender o que é; Eu nunca senti isso antes. “O que ele me
trouxe?”
“Por que você não sai e vê? Estávamos esperando você acordar.”
Ele me levanta em seus braços, e eu me agarro a ele, amando seu
cheiro; faz-me sentir seguro, em casa. Quando entramos na sala, todos
se levantam.
"Feliz Natal!"
Meu lábio inferior treme e eu fungo, enxugando sob meus olhos. Papai
passa a mão pelas minhas costas. "Está bem. Calma, está tudo bem.”
"Eu sinto Muito."
"Olha o que temos", Faith grita, correndo para os presentes.
Mamãe ri, balançando-a em seus braços. “Ainda não, esguicho.”
"O que eles são?" Eu pergunto, colocando minha mão na bochecha de
papai até que seu olhar encontre o meu.
Ele sorri. “São presentes. Do Papai Noel.”
“E eu,” Tio Max ressoa. Ele ainda está usando o pijama bobo que
vestia ontem. Eles têm uma foto de um homem de barba branca,
usando um chapéu vermelho, na frente.
Papai suspira. Ele faz muito isso perto do meu tio.
“O que há neles?”
“Por que vocês dois não abrem os grandes primeiro? Esses são de
todos nós,” Myles chama, chutando meu tio Malik na perna. Eu rio
quando ele dispara, segurando sua filhinha com mais força.
“O que eu perdi?”
"Acordar!"
“Eu tenho gêmeos, Myles, e Max nos acordou às cinco.”
Todos se voltam para Max. Ele dá de ombros enquanto mastiga um
pedaço de torrada. "Eu fiquei animado; é Natal."
Papai me coloca no chão e pega minha mão. Juntos, caminhamos até o
grande presente coberto de papel vermelho brilhante.
"Você gostaria de abri-lo?" Papai pergunta.
"O que eu faço?" Eu sussurro, inclinando-me para ele.
Ele rasga um pouco do papel. “Agora você puxa.”
"Preparar?" Faith pergunta, seu corpo inteiro vibrando de excitação
enquanto ela fica na frente dela.
“Vá,” papai ordena suavemente.
Eu vejo Faith rasgar a dela e eu a sigo, meus movimentos muito mais
lentos, e quando eu revelo mais do que está por baixo, uma sensação
estranha se agita na boca do meu estômago. Um sorriso se estende
pelo meu rosto, mesmo quando a vibração estranha cresce. Isso é
muito divertido.
Antes que eu perceba, risos escapam.
Nem todo o papel foi removido, mas já o abri o suficiente para ver a
linda casa de bonecas. Está tudo arrumado, e as Barbies estão lá
dentro, como as que eu vi no quarto de Faith.
Eu olho para mamãe e papai, meus lábios entreabertos. “Isso é meu?”
"Sim, querida, isso é seu."
Max se senta ao meu lado. “E há mais por vir.”
Eu fico boquiaberta. "Há?" Como pode haver mais?
“Sim, menina; sempre haverá mais por vir.”
"E eu posso mantê-los?"
Mason se senta do outro lado de mim, a bebê Hope em seus braços.
"Eles são seus. Todo seu. E ninguém nunca vai levá-los.”
"Você gosta disso?" Mamãe pergunta.
Eu corro em seus braços, agarrando-me a ela enquanto as lágrimas
molham minhas bochechas. "Eu amo isso."
"Você está bem?" Papai pergunta, colocando meu cabelo atrás da
orelha.
"Sim."
"Então por que você está chorando, esguicho?"
Viro-me para meu tio Malik, que falou, enquanto aponto para Mason.
"Porque ele disse que ninguém nunca vai levá-los porque eles são
meus."
O rosto de Max se contorce. "O que você quer dizer?" ele pergunta.
"Você é todo meu. Isso significa que eu posso ficar com você. E
ninguém vai te tirar. Ela não vai te levar embora.”
Os olhos de papai se embaçam quando ele me puxa de mamãe e me
coloca em seu colo. "Nunca, doce menina."
“Porque você também é nossa, o que significa que ninguém pode tirar
você de nós,” Mason me assegura.
“Ou eles vão apanhar,” Max afirma, abanando o dedo, e eu rio.
Faith se vira de seu presente – um cavalo de aparência legal que tem
seu próprio estábulo – e lentamente caminha até mim. Ela coloca a
mão sobre a minha. “Somos irmãs. Nós estaremos sempre juntos. Eu
prometo."

"Lírio?" Mamã e chama, me puxando de volta ao presente. Eu me viro

para ela, observando-a com olhos marejados. "O que está errado?"
Esfrego a parte inferior das costas enquanto me movo para o lado,
permitindo que os compradores de ú ltima hora passem por nó s. “Eu
estava lembrando do nosso primeiro Natal juntos.”
Ela esfrega a mã o sobre minha grande barriga, sorrindo. “Melhor
Natal de todos. Você ficou tã o empolgado quando percebeu que
deveria ficar com todos os seus presentes.”
Avançamos e nos sentamos quando uma mesa fica vaga no café
externo. “Eu nunca agradeci.”
"Para que?" ela pergunta, olhando para cima de seu menu.
"Por me amar. Por ter paciência comigo. Por ser minha mã e. Por me
dar você e Faith.”
Podem ser os hormô nios da gravidez que estã o me deixando
nostá lgica, mas preciso que ela saiba. Ela me deu tudo. Eu nã o
percebi o quanto meus pais fizeram até que eu carreguei essa vida
dentro de mim. Isso me fez reconhecer que o abuso de minha mã e
bioló gica foi mais profundo do que eu imaginava, porque nã o
consigo compreender como ela pô de fazer o que fez com sua filha,
com seus filhos. Ela nã o importa mais embora. O que importa é
quem eu tenho agora.
Os olhos de mamã e lacrimejam quando ela estende a mã o. "O que
causou isso?"
"Nada. Eu acho que estar grá vida e ser Natal, trouxe algumas
lembranças. Isso me fez perceber o quã o amado eu realmente sou;
como sou sortudo. Quero que meu filho ou filha se sinta assim todos
os dias”.
“Eles vã o ter você como mã e. Claro que vã o.”
Pode ser. Estou a três dias da minha data de vencimento e nã o
poderia estar mais animada. Desta vez, no pró ximo ano, estarei
fazendo compras para o pequeno. Acho que meu coraçã o nã o
aguenta mais felicidade. Estou pronto para explodir com isso.
“Obrigado, mã e.”
Eu me mexo no meu lugar, chamando a atençã o de mamã e. Eu
simplesmente nã o consigo ficar confortá vel. “Tem certeza que está
bem?”
"Estou bem. Acho que andar por aí me deu dor nas costas.”
"Tem certeza?"
Eu sorrio para sua maternidade. “É véspera de Natal. Eu nã o parei
desde que acordei mais cedo. Eu acho que correr para ficar pronto
fez isso.”
Ela ri. “Eu continuo dizendo que a gravidez deixa você com sono.
Faltam apenas alguns dias para a data de vencimento; você
realmente deveria estar indo com calma.”
“Eu sei, mas é o ú nico dia que eles têm livre para eu pegar o
presente de Jaxon,” eu explico, mordendo meu lá bio inferior
enquanto meu olhar vai para a bolsa aos meus pés. “Acho que
devemos continuar procurando por outra coisa.”
“Ele vai amá -los, querida. Pare de entrar em pâ nico.”
"Espero que sim", murmuro, meu olhar indo para a minha barriga.
Eu tenho tantas emoçõ es correndo através de mim. Toda vez que eu
o sinto se mover, toda vez que vejo minha barriga, todas essas
emoçõ es vêm à tona dez vezes. Estou tendo um bebê. Minha pró pria
família — algo que nunca pensei que teria; algo que eu sempre tive
muito medo de querer.
Jaxon me deu tanto. Ele curou uma parte de mim que ninguém mais
poderia. É uma parte de mim que sempre acreditei que nã o era
digna de amor, que nã o pertencia.
Ele deu sentido à minha vida.
Ele me deu a confiança necessá ria para superar minhas
inseguranças.
Ele fez minha vida mais completa.
Sempre fui grato pela família que tenho, pelo amor que
compartilhamos, mas Jaxon... com ele, é diferente. Sempre foi
diferente.
E eu o amo como nunca amei ninguém antes.
Entã o, eu nã o sabia o que dar ao cara que me deu tudo. Como posso
expressar tudo o que estou sentindo com um presente ou com
palavras? Nã o posso. É impossível. E nã o importa o quanto eu tente
me dizer o contrá rio, sinto que nosso primeiro Natal juntos será
arruinado por causa disso.
“Lily, querida, o que há de errado? Fale comigo. Eu te peguei e você
estava correndo como uma louca, e agora você parece tã o perdida.
Está começando a me assustar.”
Eu me sacudo dos meus pensamentos. “Sinto muito, mã e. Estou
apenas preocupado que o que eu tenho nã o expresse exatamente o
que eu quero. Eu preciso dar a ele algo especial, e eu sinto que o que
eu tenho para ele nã o transmite isso. Eu quero que amanhã seja
perfeito,” eu resmungo. “Mas como, se eu já arruinei?”
“Querida, ele vai adorar o seu presente. E Jaxon nã o é o cara que
precisa de coisas materiais. Ele te ama. E ele ficará feliz com isso. E
aposto que se você perguntasse isso a ele, ele diria a mesma coisa. O
jeito que ele olha para você...” Ela balança a cabeça antes de se
concentrar em mim. "Ele te ama. Estar com você é tudo o que
importa para ele.”
"Espero que sim", penso, estremecendo quando o bebê muda para
uma posiçã o estranha. “Acho que o pequeno concorda com você.”
Tento sorrir, mas a pressã o se intensifica, a ponto de cerrar os
dentes.
“As meninas estã o de volta,” mamã e me diz, olhando por cima do
meu ombro.
Respiro através da onda de dor enquanto Kayla, Charlotte e Hayden
entram e saem das mesas, indo em nossa direçã o.
“Hayden, você nã o pode conseguir isso para ele. Nã o é para ele; é
para você,” Charlotte repreende, mordendo o lá bio inferior com
preocupaçã o.
Hayden bufa enquanto joga sua bolsa sobre a cadeira, sentando-se.
“Eu sou um maldito presente de Natal.”
"O que está acontecendo?" Eu pergunto, meu interesse despertado.
Charlotte suspira enquanto se vira para mim. “Este comprou uma
fita para Clayton.”
Minhas sobrancelhas franziram. "Uma fita?"
Talvez o que eu tenho para Jaxon não seja tão ruim.
"Diga a ela que a fita vai ser amarrada", comenta Kayla, sorrindo.
"Eu", Hayden responde com orgulho. “Qualquer um teria sorte em
me envolver em um laço na manhã de Natal.”
Eu rio, balançando a cabeça. "Como você vai amarrá -lo em torno de
você?"
Ela encolhe os ombros. “Ainda nã o cheguei tã o longe, mas se parecer
uma merda, direi a ele que um T-rex me envolveu.”
“Muito festivo”, comenta mamã e.
Hayden sorri. "Também achei."
"Vocês dois conseguiram tudo o que precisavam?" Kayla pergunta,
dirigindo-se a mim e mamã e.
"Sim, e nã o se preocupe, Hayden, eu trouxe algumas guloseimas
para o seu pai no caminho para cá , para que ele possa parar de ficar
de mau humor."
Eu rio. Tio Max ainda está convencido de que todo mundo vai
engravidar agora que eu estou. Eu nã o acho que ajuda quando
Hayden o provoca, dizendo que ele deu permissã o para ela
engravidar no dia em que ela foi sequestrada. Ele nega, mas todos
sabemos que ele diz coisas malucas quando sente muita emoçã o.
Eu sei que o relacionamento de Charlotte com Drew é forte, e nã o
vai demorar muito até que eles comecem a tentar – a menos que já
tenham tentado. É o mesmo com os outros. Eu sei que Faith quer
esperar. Ela preferiria colocar seu segundo negó cio em
funcionamento antes que eles começassem a tentar.
“Eu ainda nã o posso acreditar que você culpou Lily por comer
aquele pudim pegajoso quando era você,” Charlotte comenta,
balançando a cabeça para Hayden. "Isso foi baixo, mesmo para
você."
Hayden dá de ombros. "Ele nã o vai dizer nada para Lily."
"Está bem. Embora ele esteja começando a me preocupar. À s vezes
eu sinto que ele está tramando algo quando ele olha para mim,” eu
comento.
“Ele está apenas sendo azedo. Você deveria estar lá quando ele
descobriu sobre Charlotte. Eu juro para você, ele era insuportá vel.
"O que aconteceu?" Hayden pergunta, sorrindo.
"Bem..."
CAPÍTULO DOIS
KAYLA

Com um lenço de papel enrolado em meu punho e uma lixeira no

chã o ao lado do sofá , eu me enrolo em uma bola, olhando para a
televisã o passando um filme Hallmark. Eu mal posso ver a tela
enquanto as lá grimas escorrem pelo meu rosto.
Eu fungo, e depois assoo o nariz. "Por que? Por que você nã o pode
simplesmente ficar?” Eu choro.
A chave entrando na porta da frente me deixa em pâ nico. Sento-me,
puxando o cobertor aos meus pés sobre o meu corpo, antes de
rapidamente enfiar as embalagens de comida vazias na lixeira. Max
está tramando ultimamente, e eu nã o gostei do olhar em seus olhos
quando ele saiu para o trabalho esta manhã . Tecnicamente, nã o é
minha culpa termos ficado sem seu cereal favorito. E realmente, nã o
é minha culpa que a gaveta de lanches esteja vazia. Ele nunca
especificou quais eram seus.
Quando Myles entra, eu relaxo, um sorriso iluminando meu rosto.
"Ei, você está em casa", eu cumprimento.
Ele sorri quando vê o estado em que estou e balança a cabeça.
“Filmes tristes? Novamente?"
Suspiro, deixando cair minhas mã os no meu colo. “Eu nã o posso
evitar. Eles sã o como uma droga para mim.”
"Como você está se sentindo hoje?" ele pergunta, sentando-se ao
meu lado. Sua mã o vai para minha barriga e uma vibraçã o se agita
por dentro.
Estamos tentando engravidar há algum tempo. Ver todos os outros
começarem suas pró prias famílias, tem sido difícil, mas depois de
anos de tentativas, finalmente estamos grá vidos. A alegria que sinto,
o amor que tenho por nosso bebê ainda nã o nascido, é avassalador.
"Estou bem. Eu nã o tenho certeza por quanto tempo mais podemos
esconder isso dos outros,” eu admito, engasgando um pouco quando
me lembro do bebê que abortamos. Foi difícil ser lembrado pelas
expressõ es nos rostos dos entes queridos, entã o desta vez, Myles e
eu mantivemos isso para nó s mesmos, querendo ter certeza de que
está vamos na marca de doze semanas. Já passamos disso, mas ainda
há uma chance de algo acontecer, e isso me assusta. Em breve, eles
serã o capazes de resolver isso. Eu já tenho uma barriga, que tenho
conseguido esconder com minhas roupas, mas Max... à s vezes me
pergunto se ele tem um sexto sentido para isso e pode sentir o
cheiro da mudança.
“Nó s deveríamos dizer a eles. Descobrimos o sexo em algumas
semanas, e todos devem estar lá para isso. Eles vã o querer estar lá .
Mas eu entendo se você nã o estiver pronto.
Pego sua mã o e a aperto. “Estou apenas com medo de que algo ruim
aconteça.”
"Nada vai acontecer", ele promete, e se abaixa para me beijar. Ele se
afasta, esfregando suavemente meu estô mago. "Eu te amo."
"Eu também te amo, mas podemos dizer a eles no dia em que
descobrirmos o sexo?" Eu pergunto com um sorriso tímido, disposto
a ceder. Eu sei que tem sido difícil para ele manter isso em segredo.
Ele sorri. "Sim está bem."
Eu alcanço, envolvendo meus braços ao redor dele. "Obrigada.
Obrigada. Obrigada."
“Espero que você esteja com fome porque eu pedi o indiano que
você está delirando por ter o dia todo.”
Eu lambo meus lá bios enquanto meu estô mago ronca com a mençã o
de comida. "Estou morrendo de fome. O enjô o matinal diminuiu e
agora estou desejando tudo.”
Ele ri, o som correndo pela minha espinha como uma carícia. “Max já
voltou?”
Eu mordo meu lá bio. "Nã o. E fui obrigado a assistir a filmes da
Hallmark, entã o esqueci de substituir os lanches que comi.”
Ele dá de ombros. “Apenas diga a ele que ele os comeu.”
Eu arqueio uma sobrancelha. “Ele nã o perde nada quando se trata
de comida.”
"Ele faz. À s vezes ele esquece o quanto come.”
Eu bufo. “Ele é seu irmã o; você já deve saber que ele nã o perde nada.
No outro dia eu tinha alguns Skittles do pacote que ele deixou ao
lado. Ele desceu e começou a delirar sobre como cinco estavam
desaparecidos. Ele até os tirou e estava contando-os ao lado.”
Ele passa a mã o pelo queixo. "Ele ainda está aprendendo a
compartilhar?"
“Ele é um gêmeo. Ele nasceu para compartilhar,” eu retruco, rindo.
“Mas falando sério, o que vamos fazer?”
“Espero que o índio que encomendei acalme seu estô mago ferido.”
“Se nã o, podemos dizer a ele que é uma recompensa pelo bolo que
você me comprou – que ele comeu.”
De repente, há uma vibraçã o estranha no meu estô mago. Eu me
sento, ofegante.
"O que está errado?" Myles pergunta.
Meus olhos se arregalam enquanto eu olho para ele com admiraçã o,
a vibraçã o acontecendo novamente, desta vez um pouco mais forte
contra a parede da minha barriga. “Acho que o bebê está se
mexendo.”
"Sério?" ele pergunta, colocando a mã o sobre o meu estô mago.
Eu pressiono sua mã o para onde a vibraçã o começou, e momentos
depois, uma mais forte acontece, causando uma ondulaçã o em meu
estô mago. “Puta merda!” ele engasga, a emoçã o obstruindo sua
garganta.
Lá grimas se acumulam em meus olhos enquanto eu olho para onde
nossas mã os estã o unidas. "É realmente real", eu digo.
Ele olha para cima, lá grimas transbordando de seus pró prios olhos.
“Eu juro para você, Kayla, eu vou te amar enquanto eu viver e mais
um pouco. Prometo ser o melhor pai e o melhor marido que você
desejar.
Eu alcanço e seguro sua bochecha. "Você já é."
Ele se inclina, pressionando seus lá bios nos meus em um beijo
ardente. Todos os seus beijos me incendiaram. Ele nunca morreu,
nã o importa quantos anos se passaram. Ele é meu para sempre. O
amor da minha vida. Minha família.
O ruído de fora afasta nossa atençã o um do outro e do momento.
“Oi, seu idiota gordo; Mamã e disse que você roubou a comida dela
ontem à noite.
Meus olhos se arregalam de horror quando me viro para Myles.
"Max", eu suspiro. “Eu disse que ele nã o pediu aquela comida.”
"Nã o saia", ele avisa, e eu aceno com a cabeça, mas vou até a janela
para ser intrometido.
“Cara, eu paguei por isso. Era meu. Por que vocês nã o aprendem?”
Max bufa, trancando seu carro.
Outro carro para, e é um cara que reconheço como um dos
motoristas de entrega do índio.
Minha atençã o volta para o cara dando uma chance a Max, assim que
ele fica na cara dele. “Ela nã o pô de reordenar porque eles fecharam
quando ela percebeu que nã o estava chegando.”
Max dá de ombros. “Eu nã o sei mais o que dizer, companheiro.
Chegou à nossa porta, paguei, comi: era meu. Nã o sei que papel sua
mã e desempenhou nisso, mas diga a ela obrigado por mim.”
"Eu nã o sou seu companheiro", ele rosna. "E você deve a ela."
“Nã o vejo como, já que ela nunca pagou por isso,” Max retruca,
olhando o entregador com cautela enquanto ele começa a cheirar o
ar. “Isso é índio?”
Eu vou até a porta antes que Max decida atacar o cara, pegando o
dinheiro do lado no meu caminho. Nã o seria a primeira vez que Max
se envolveria com um entregador.
"Por que nã o nos acalmamos?" Myles interrompe, colocando as
mã os para cima em um gesto de calma.
Por favor, não fique no meio novamente.
“Por que você nã o pede desculpas à minha mã e?”, o filho retruca.
O entregador sorri timidamente quando chega até mim. “Eu juro, eu
adoro vir aqui para entregar. É sempre divertido.”
"É um dos ú nicos lugares em que ele nã o nos proibiu de fazer
pedidos", eu admito, entregando-lhe o dinheiro.
“Meu chefe ameaçou fazer isso na ú ltima vez que um dos motoristas
voltou chorando. Mas me ofereci para fazer esta casa.”
Eu rio. “Nunca há um momento de tédio.”
“O que aconteceu dessa vez?”
“Pelo que entendi, Max roubou a comida de alguém novamente. Ele
sempre teve a noçã o de que se ele pagar por isso, é dele.”
O cara dá de ombros. “Tem mérito. Tipo de."
“Rapaz, você está falando sério? Você deu um passo longe demais,”
uma mulher grita, e eu gemo ao ver a vizinha bruxa malvada que
esperamos que se mova. Seus filhos sã o diabó licos, mas eles nã o sã o
a principal razã o pela qual queremos que eles saiam. Entendemos
que as crianças fazem barulho. Nã o, é ela gritando a toda hora, seja
com os filhos ou com o cara da semana, que nã o conseguimos lidar.
Noventa e nove por cento das vezes isso se transforma em uma
briga e a polícia é chamada. É um pesadelo. E quando ela nã o está ,
seus filhos tocam mú sica até de madrugada. Seus mais velhos acham
que nã o há problema em festejar como se o mundo acabasse
amanhã .
Max ergue as mã os, tremendo, e seu lá bio inferior treme. “Por favor,
nã o me bata. Eu nã o posso lidar com isso,” ele chora, e na pressa de
se afastar dela, ele quase cai por cima do muro que separa o nosso
jardim do outro vizinho.
"Que porra é essa?" o filho zomba, olhando com os olhos arregalados
para Max.
A mã e ainda está impressionada enquanto olha para Max em
confusã o. “Eu...”
“Quero me espancar. Eu fui espancado quando criança, você sabe. Eu
tenho TEPT. E agora você quer me bater. E nã o do jeito pervertido
que minha mulher gosta.
“Eu...”
Ele dramaticamente se vira para seu gêmeo. “Ela tem até uma colher
de pau. Eu nã o posso lidar,” ele sussurra em voz alta para todos
ouvirem.
Meus lá bios se contorcem quando o entregador começa a rir. “Por
mais divertido que seja, eu preciso ir. Desfrute de sua refeiçã o."
“Tenha uma tarde divertida.”
Ele me envia uma saudaçã o antes de voltar para seu carro, evitando
Max e sua teatralidade.
“Estou cozinhando,” a mã e defende, olhando ao redor para os outros
assistindo.
“Você trouxe aquela colher aqui para me bater com ela. Nã o pense
que nã o podemos ouvi-lo quando seus filhos sã o travessos”, ele
chora, enxugando as lá grimas do rosto.
"Ei", o garoto estala. “Ela nã o nos bate.”
O rosto de Max fica só brio. "Ela deveria", ele retruca, antes que um
grito alto escape dele. "Por que? Por quê? Cheguei em casa do
trabalho para ter uma noite relaxante e agora vou ser chicoteado.”
"Eu nã o vou bater em você", a mulher grita, seu rosto ficando
vermelho quando outros moradores saem para ter um nariz.
"Ei o que está acontecendo? Você está bem, filho?” um vizinho do
outro lado da rua grita, estreitando o olhar sobre a mã e e o filho.
Max se vira para o vizinho, com o lá bio trêmulo. “Você vê a colher,
nã o vê? Ela vai me espancar com isso.”
“Mã e, vamos entrar.”
“Mas...”
Max se encolhe, guinchando como uma criança de dois anos tendo
um acesso de raiva. “Nã o me machuque.”
O filho pega o braço de sua mã e e a puxa para trá s enquanto fica de
olho em Max. Sábio. Assim que ouço a porta deles se fechar, as
lá grimas no rosto de Max secam e ele se vira para os vizinhos e faz
uma reverência. “Estou aqui a semana toda, pessoal.”
Alguns riem, acostumados com sua teatralidade. Myles, por outro
lado, prende-o ao redor da orelha. “Achei que ia começar”.
“Como se você tivesse se envolvido. Você tem uma carreira para
construir.”
É verdade. Myles está trabalhando meio período e fazendo aulas
universitá rias em período integral. Ele tem muito trabalho a fazer
antes de se tornar um assistente social qualificado. Felizmente, seu
trabalho é nessa á rea, entã o ele está aprendendo enquanto trabalha.
“Comida,” Max resmunga, olhando para as sacolas.
Eu bufo e vou para a cozinha, colocando as sacolas na mesa. "Alguém
vem jantar?"
“Lake está com sua mã e e irmã o agora. Ele tem outra consulta no
hospital e ela queria estar lá .”
Eu aceno, entã o me inclino para beijar Myles quando ele me entrega
o prato. “Ohh, Korma aloo kufta,” Max jorra, praticamente
espumando pela boca.
"Meu", eu o advirto.
“Mas eu sempre entendo.”
“Nã o, você sempre recebe frango Dhamaka.”
Max olha para seu irmã o. “Ela nem gosta do Korma também.”
“Eles só tinham um sobrando e foi o que ela pediu. Ela também tinha
tikka, entã o eu te dei um Balti.”
“Eu nã o quero um Balti. Eu quero o korma também.”
Quando ele vai pegá -lo, eu o pego de volta. "Nã o. E nã o pense que
você está comendo meu arroz vegetariano também.”
Seus olhos se arregalam quando ele cai na cadeira. “Você nã o pode
estar falando sério. Você nã o vai comer tudo isso. Você mal come
uma refeiçã o, e você tem cerca de mil aqui. Nã o vai te machucar me
dar o aloo se tudo que eu tenho sã o os outros dois.
“Nã o se esqueça do arroz, pã o naan, batatas fritas e bhajis de
cebola”, declara Myles, pegando um copo.
"Por favor", ele implora, agitando seus cílios para mim.
“Nã o, Max. Na semana passada você comeu a ú ltima pepita na minha
caixa.
“Era uma caixa compartilhada”, argumenta.
“Mas era meu.”
“Você estava vomitando no banheiro. Nã o queria que fosse
desperdiçado.”
"A resposta é nã o", digo a ele, enfiando meu garfo na batata rica.
Ele lambe os lá bios, seguindo o movimento. “Isso é tã o mesquinho. E
nã o é justo. Todo mundo sabe que eu tenho isso.”
“Foi o ú ltimo lote da noite. Eles tiveram um dia agitado e a entrega
do estoque nã o chega até amanhã de manhã .”
“E você dá para sua esposa? Por quê? Eu sou seu maldito gêmeo.
Isso nã o significa nada para você?”
“Nã o particularmente,” Myles murmura.
"E você", ele declara, apontando o dedo para mim. “Desde quando
você nã o compartilha comigo? Eu sou seu favorito. As ú nicas
pessoas que nã o compartilham desta família sã o os filhos da puta
mesquinhos que engravidam.”
De repente, ele arrasta a cadeira para trá s, ainda apontando o dedo
para mim enquanto inala bruscamente. "Nã o!"
"Max", eu acalmo, precisando que ele se acalme. Eu posso sentir o
sangue escorrer do meu rosto porque agora que ele sabe, o mundo
vai saber.
Ele se vira para seu irmã o, a mesma acusaçã o em seus olhos. "Nã o!"
“Max, pare de ser uma rainha do drama.”
"Como você pode fazer isto comigo?"
“Tenho certeza que fiz isso com Kayla.”
Max o encara. “Nã o é o ponto em que eu estava chegando. Você sabe
como tem sido.”
“Max, você está apenas sendo sensível.”
Ele bufa, revirando os olhos. "Eu nã o posso acreditar nisso. É
verdade, nã o é?”
“Má ximo.”
"Eu vou morrer", ele reclama. "Eu vou morrer de fome e nenhum de
vocês, filhos da puta, se importam, porque Deus me livre de sua
esposa nã o comer o ú ltimo biscoito de queijo." Eu abaixo minha
cabeça, nã o querendo que ele veja a culpa lá . "Oh meu Deus, você
realmente comeu o ú ltimo biscoito de queijo."
“Nó s nã o estamos fazendo compras,” eu defendo.
“Eu nã o posso acreditar nisso. Aposto que todos os outros porra
sabiam também. É por isso que você está comendo toda a minha
comida.”
"Nossa comida", murmura Myles, ainda servindo seu prato.
Max vai pegar meu Korma também, mas eu o pego de volta, olhando.
Ele ergue as mã os em sinal de rendiçã o. “Eu como meus sentimentos
quando estou ansioso.”
“Nã o é você grá vida. E nã o vamos contar aos outros, Max, ainda nã o.
“Como se eles nã o fossem descobrir,” ele bufa.
“Eu nã o posso acreditar que você está se preocupando com isso. Nã o
é como se Lake estivesse grá vida.”
“Eu embrulho, diferente de alguns,” Max retruca. “E ela nã o iria
roubar minha comida. Ela vive para me agradar.”
"Claro", murmuro, colocando mais comida no meu prato. Minha
boca saliva com os aromas, e meu estô mago ronca de fome.
"Nó s somos gêmeos. Ela poderia ter gêmeos. Ela estará alimentando
por três entã o.”
Max estreita o olhar em seu irmã o. “Por que diabos você
amaldiçoaria esse tipo de merda em mim? Se Lake e eu tivermos um
filho, será um. Apenas um. Ela nã o faria isso comigo. Vocês podem
ter um time de futebol, mas nã o, obrigado. Eu nã o. Estou procurando
o nú mero um e Lake está de acordo com isso. Ela entende que
ninguém toca na minha comida, ao contrá rio de vocês malucos.
Meu lá bio inferior treme e seus olhos começam a se arregalar.
“Estou grá vida, Max. Grá vida. Você sabe o que isso significa para
mim; quanto tempo estamos esperando depois que os médicos
disseram que pode nã o acontecer novamente para nó s. Você estava
lá conosco. Por que você nã o pode ficar feliz por mim?”
Ele cede em derrota. "Eu estou feliz. Eu vou adorar, nã o importa o
quê.”
"Meu bebê nã o é nada disso", Myles retruca.
Max se vira de Myles para mim, entã o suspira. “Eu vou te dar algum
espaço para respirar. Eu preciso de algum espaço para respirar. Esta
é uma grande notícia, e eu preciso processá -la.”
"Mais uma vez, nã o você tendo o bebê."
"Mas é a minha comida que ela vai comer", ele retruca, antes de
exalar. "Eu sinto Muito. Eu sinto Muito. Eu voltarei. Por favor, só ... só
nã o coma minha comida antes de mim.
Ele vai para o jardim da frente em um acesso de raiva. Largo meu
garfo, virando-me para Myles. “Ele vai contar para todo mundo.”
Ele se recosta na cadeira para espiar pela janela. “Ele está dizendo a
Deus primeiro, pelo que parece.”
Eu posso ouvi-lo reclamando sobre o quã o injusto é, mas eu o
ignoro, pegando a mã o de Myles. “Vai ficar tudo bem, certo?”
"Sim, e se você quiser, podemos trancar Max no porã o até a pró xima
varredura."
O pensamento tem mérito. "Vou pensar sobre isso."
À medida que a noite avança e o sono ameaça me derrubar, Myles e
eu vamos para a cama. Max pode ser ouvido gritando, mesmo
através dos vidros duplos, entã o vamos até a janela, puxando a
cortina.
“Precisamos levá -lo para uma ala psiquiá trica”, um policial grita
enquanto prende Max na frente do carro.
“Eu só quero minha maldita comida,” Max geme. “Vocês sã o todos
loucos.”
Eu mordo meu lá bio. "Hum, talvez devêssemos ir e explicar."
Myles dá de ombros, deixando cair a cortina. “Ele pode pensar em
suas escolhas de vida.”
Eu suspiro. "Vou deixar Lake saber que ele nã o foi assassinado."
Ele sorri enquanto coloca as mã os sobre o meu estô mago. “Você vai
ser uma mã e fantá stica.”
Eu me derreto nele. “E você será um ó timo pai.”
E sei de todo o coraçã o que, juntos, criaremos filhos lindos e
amorosos. Eu sei disso em meus ossos. Porque eles fazem parte de
Myles. E nã o conheço ninguém tã o bonito e amoroso como ele.
CAPÍTULO TRÊ S
Lírio

Charlotte drops the bags on the doorstep before turning back to the
street, where Mum is still parked.
“See you in a bit, honey. Don't do anything until I'm back.”
I smile at her worried words. “I promise, Mum.”
Kind of.
“Later,” she calls, before driving off.
We wave goodbye to our mums and Hayden before both of us finally
let out a breath.
“That was intense, even for Christmas Eve,” Charlotte breathes out.
Hayden got into it with a woman who picked up the last leather
jacket on the rack at the same time as her. Luckily, no one called
security, and everyone remained unharmed as Hayden left the store
with the jacket. But for a moment there, I really thought we were
going to have to wait for her to be released from the police station
after Christmas.
As exhausting as the day has been, it's been good catching up with
them. Lately, everyone has been preoccupied and we haven't seen
much of anyone. Tomorrow can't come quick enough because we
are all spending the day together, including Jaxon. I want to make it
as special as I can for him, since this is our first Christmas together.
However, my day isn't over. I have other things I need to do before
our guests arrive. I've invited Blanche and the kids over to open
their presents as I won't see them tomorrow. Blanche can't make it,
but before she leaves to visit her friend in the care home, she's
dropping the kids off with me.
Mum and Dad are coming too, since they have gotten close to the
kids. They want to be here for when they open the presents they've
bought them. So instead of eating takeout and watching Christmas
movies this year, I'll be hosting a small get-together with finger
foods.
“My back is killing me,” I admit.
She chuckles before glancing over at the girl leaving Blanche's
house. I wave to the pretty brunette, recognising her as the girl Miah
has been studying with. Jaxon says 'studying' like it means
something else though.
“Have you seen the kids yet? I bet they are excited.”
“I haven't yet. But Blanche is going to bring them over later. I'm
hoping to get a chance to spend time with Jaxon after. I miss him. I
didn't plan on being gone this long.”
Her expression softens. “He has been working a lot. Did you want me
to stay?”
“He has,” I grumpily admit. “Thank you for the offer, but it will be
fine. He shouldn't be long.” I take a deep breath. “What are you doing
later?”
“I'm going to Drew's dad's house. They do a little party or something
on Christmas Eve, with Chinese takeout, and since he's willing to
spend most of Christmas Day with our family, I don't want to let him
down tonight, which is why I said I can't make it tonight. I'll drop the
kids' presents off before I leave though.”
Eu sorrio. “Sounds fun,” I tell her, right as a sharp twinge vibrates
through my stomach. “Oh, that was a strong one.”
“You okay?”
I take a deep breath before nodding. “Yeah, but I think I need to sit
down for five minutes.” I begin to search my bag for my keys,
grimacing as the baby presses down on my bladder.
She clears her throat, nervously running her shoes along the mat.
“What's it like?”
I glance up at her. “What do you mean?”
“Being pregnant. What's it like?”
I drop my bag to my side and beam at her as flutters erupt
throughout my stomach. The baby moves less and less lately, but
when he or she does, it hurts something fierce. Still… “It's the best
feeling in the world. It hasn't all been pleasant. You know about all
the morning sickness. But I…” I stare down at my bump, my lips
tugging into a wide smile. Emotion swells inside me as I let
everything I'm feeling bubble to the surface. “It's a love like I've
never felt before.”
“What do you mean?”
I wipe under my eyes as I shrug. “I can't explain it. I love you guys. I
love my parents. And I love Jaxon. But this baby… I've not even met
him or her, and there's this strong, overpowering sense of love
already, and it's like nothing I can describe.”
“That's amazing,” she whispers, and hearing the broken sound to her
voice, I step closer.
“Are you okay?”
She shakes her head and lets out a sniffle. “We aren't trying. Not yet
anyway. But I'm scared it's never going to happen for me.”
“I don't believe that.”
“Why?”
“Because I can't imagine you ever not being a mum, Charlotte. There
are other ways to have a child. Look at me. I'm adopted by my
biological brother. He's the best parent I could ever wish for. The
only one I've ever known. And the love he and Mum showered me
with? I couldn't have asked for more. I really couldn't. They made
me theirs, Charlotte. They gave me love, a home. And one day, no
matter the circumstance, you'll have a child that I have no doubt
you'll shower with the same kind of love. There is no doubt in my
mind.” I take a deep breath before taking her hand in mine.
“Whether you conceive or not, you'll be a mother one day. And when
that day comes—because it will—you'll be a fantastic mother.”
She pulls me in for a hug, and for a moment, I stiffen, before I relax,
hugging her back. “Thank you, Lily. Thank you.” She sniffles, letting
me know my words affected her.
“You don't have to thank me,” I declare, squeezing her a little tighter.
She pulls back, one hand on my stomach. "Eu faço. And I need to
apologise. I wasn't the most congratulative when you announced
your pregnancy.”
I don't want to remind her of what happened, but it needs to be said
because I don't want her to feel guilty for something unwarranted.
“You were going through a lot back then, Charlotte.”
Her gaze drifts off for a moment, and for a second, I feel like I've lost
her, but then she shakes her head, pulling herself back to the
present. “No, I was jealous. And I'm sorry. I—”
My heart breaks as her expression crumbles. “Charlotte, please, you
don't need to explain yourself to me.”
She wipes under her eyes. “Yes, yes I do. Because it wasn't kind of
me. It's been months and months and I didn't know how to bring it
up. I wasn't sure if I would say the wrong thing, like I'm probably
doing right now.”
“You don't need to apologise to me.”
“But—”
I close my eyes as a wave of pain hits me. I know exactly how she
feels; to want something so bad, it consumes you. “I've been jealous
too.”
"O que?"
I meet her gaze, and I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I've been
jealous. Of you. Of a lot. My earlier years are people's worst
nightmares. I close my eyes and I feel their hands, their touch. I
smell the scent of smoke, taste the beer, or the stench of it, on their
breaths, even in their pores. I still get those fears. And although most
of it feels like a nightmare, I know they aren't figments of my
imagination. They are real.
“I envied Faith when I first met her. I glanced at all she had, even
though most of it ended up lost in the fire, and I wondered what I
did wrong to only get a blanket on the floor. It confused me. All I had
known was sadness and fear. But I… Mum read to me whilst Dad
held me in his arms the first night I stayed over, and I felt safe for
the first time in my life.”
“Lily,” she calls softly, letting out a sigh. “You don't need to—"
“We are all guilty of jealously, Charlotte. Of envy. You want what you
want and there is no guilt in that,” I remind her. “I've watched you
all grow. I've watched how you were loved and doted on. I heard the
laughter when you were happy, the soothing sounds of comfort
when you were sad, and I've heard words of encouragement when
you've struggled. Even in our worst moments, our parents have
made sure they said and did the right things. They were parents. But
for a short time in my life, I didn't get to witness that. I never got to
feel it until Mum and Dad took me in. But you… you see the world
differently from all of us, including me. I envied that. I got so jealous
every time you picked yourself back up and carried on. Every time
you smiled at a stranger. Every time you came back with another
drunken escapade story. Every time you opened your heart to
people.”
“I don't understand.”
I feel the weight of my words before I even say them. They are
words I've wanted to say out loud for a while now. Everyone
probably already knows, but not from my lips. “Because I held back
from living. I love you all fiercely. I always have. Sometimes so much
I'm scared I'm going to wake up and be back on that floor with that
tattered blanket. I know how depraved this world can be. I bared
witness to heinous acts. And I gave up on seeing the world for what
it can be, to see what you see, because of the unfairness I lived as a
child. I've lost count of the amount of times I've watched you
overcome things and still manage to see the world as you do. I'm
jealous of that. I hate that there's a constant fear of everything
beyond my four walls. It held me back. But nothing has ever held
you back.”
She glances down at the ground. “I didn't know.”
“You once said to me you wished you could be more like Hayden,
because she's strong she seems unbreakable. I get that. I wanted to
be you so many times I lost count. I wanted to be able to look at the
world through your eyes. To trust implicitly.” I wipe my cheeks.
“God, I'm sorry. I never meant to get this deep. I'm just feeling
emotional today.”
“I'm sorry for bringing this up. I didn't mean to bring up painful
memories for you. I didn't mean for any of this.”
“Don't be. I love you. And I don't want you to feel guilty over this. I
need you to understand that it's okay to want those things. It's okay,
Charlotte. And one day, you'll have those things. I promise.”
“Thank you,” she chokes out. “Thank you for always being here for
me.”
For the first time, I initiate the touch, and pull her in for a hug.
“You're welcome. And I really am sorry about going on. I've just
been feeling sentimental lately.”
“It's the baby,” she tells me, her hand rubbing over my bump one
last time. Her phone beeps, alerting her of a message, and she pulls
back. She laughs when she glances down at the screen. “Drew sent
me a picture of the cats. Katnip has knocked over the glitter lamp
and glitter has gone all over the black shirt he was planning to wear
tonight.”
“Go and sort your cats out,” I tell her, laughing lightly at the picture
she shows me.
“I'll come and wait inside with you. You really do need to get off your
feet. I shouldn't have kept you standing out here in the cold.”
I place my hand on her arm. “It's fine. It was me talking your ear off.
You get going and I'll see you tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
She nods and picks her bags up from the floor. Before she can get
down the step, I call out her name. She turns, arching an eyebrow.
“You okay?”
“I really did mean what I said. Never give up on your dreams,
Charlotte. They make you who you are. And that's what makes you
special.”
She beams, and a change overcomes her as she stands a little taller.
“Thank you,” she cheers. “And I won't. I promise.”
“Merry Christmas,” I call out as she turns to leave.
“Merry Christmas. And I'll see you tomorrow.”
I watch her head around the corner before resuming my task of
finding my keys.
Maybe I didn't pick them up again.
“Where are you?” I wonder, wishing I could drop the contents all
over the floor. But I know if I did, there would be no getting back up
off the floor.
A car pulling up has me pulling away from my task. I breathe out a
sigh of relief when I see Jaxon pull in.
He takes my breath away as he grins at me. It never fails to undo me.
Every time I look at him, my heart aches from the overwhelming
love I have for him.
“What are you doing out in the cold?” he scolds.
My shoulders drop. “I've lost my keys again.”
His grin spreads as he shakes his head. When he reaches me, he
pulls me into his arms, kissing me breathlessly. I drop my bag to the
floor, cupping his cheeks as I kiss him back. I'll never get tired of his
kisses. They seem to pour energy into me. And when he pulls back, I
want more, missing the contact.
“I've missed you,” he breathes, gently rubbing my stomach.
“I've missed you too,” I tell him, breathing in his spicy cologne. “Did
you have a good day?”
“It was okay. Reid still isn't back. He went out on a bender after
dropping off a delivery so he can't drive back until the early hours of
the morning, if not tomorrow if he keeps drinking. I left the others to
finish up at the office.”
My eyes widen when realisation hits me. “He's going to miss
Christmas.”
He sighs. “Mum is going to kill him.” He steps back, glancing down at
the bags. “Did you have a good day?”
I bite my lip when my gaze goes to all the bags. I may have gone a
little overboard since we did everyone else's presents together. But
Hayden insisted I get the underwear, stating once I've had the baby,
and we get the all clear to be intimate, Jaxon will want to ravish me.
She said it will give him something to look forward to. I blush at the
reminder and try to reach for the bags before he does. “I'll get
those,” I squeak, not wanting him to see his present.
I'm still embarrassed about one of them, unsure whether to give it to
him or not, but it's what Charlotte's friend Harriet recommended.
I'm just not sure how Jaxon will feel about it now it's done.
He looks up from where he's bent down, and grins. “I won't peek, I
promise.”
I sag with relief. “Okay.” We step inside, and I pull my hat and gloves
off, dropping them down on the bench next to the door. “And I had a
good day. Aunt Kayla told me about the day everyone found out she
was pregnant.”
I quickly run through the story, and Jaxon's eyes widen at the end.
“So, he got sent to a psych ward?”
“Evidently it was his first time there, which is surprising. The others
found out and wanted to see it for themselves, so they went to visit
him. He had already driven the staff crazy.”
“And they most likely wanted to take pictures, since he's always
pranking them.”
I giggle as I remember the story. “Yes. Well, Max kept warning them
that a baby would soon be coming, and that Kayla would steal all
their food. They put two and two together, and everyone knew
before the night ended that she was pregnant.”
“I guess everyone has stories,” he murmurs, pulling me into his
arms.
“Maybe we shouldn't tell ours: that you found out seconds before we
were trapped in a burning house,” I tease.
His gaze darkens before he glances down at me. “It doesn't take
away from the moment you told me, or that it's the second-best day
of my life.”
“What is your first?” I ask, lowering my lashes.
“The day you said, I do.”
Tears warm my cheeks as a few slip free. This time last year, I was
falling into a sea of emptiness. I felt void, and for a moment, I feared
I'd always feel that empty. “I love you, Jaxon.”
He ducks his head, meeting my gaze as he lifts my chin up. “Then
why the tears?”
“Because this year we get to spend Christmas together. Last year…” I
close my eyes, wondering why I'm thinking about it.
“Lily,” he calls, and a resigned sigh follows. He knows what I'm
thinking too.
I blink up at him through my wet lashes. “This year isn't going to be
anything like last year.” I sniffle as I try to pull myself together. “I
have a husband, and a baby due soon. I've never been happier. I've
got a life I didn't know I wanted. I've been granted a wish I never
knew I made.”
He presses his lips against mine, groaning as I melt against him,
sliding my tongue against his. He pulls back, resting his forehead
against mine. “Why do you say these things when I can't take you to
bed and fuck you the way I want to.”
Heat floods my cheeks. “The doctor told you at our last appointment
that it's still okay. You just can't be, you know…”
His body shakes with soft laughter as he gently grips my cheeks.
“The baby isn't the reason I can't fuck you right now. We have
people arriving, and I'd prefer not to be interrupted by your damn
brother or uncle again.”
I bite my lip to stop the laughter from spilling out. I press against
him—as much as I can with my stomach in the way. After a quick
glance at the clock, I smile. “We have nearly two hours before they
arrive.”
His pupils dilate as he stares down at me with hunger. “Then I'd best
give my wife what she wants.”
Laughter spills out of me as he tucks one hand behind my back and
one under my legs before sweeping me up into his arms.
Definitely going to be the best Christmas ever.
CHAPTER FOUR
Lily

Soft laughter flows up the stairs to my room, stirring me awake. For

a moment, I forget about the sound of voices, and smile to myself as
I burrow down into the blanket, where I'm still naked from our
earlier activities.
Even now, as I close my eyes, I savour every moment we shared as it
plays back in my mind. My entire body heats like a summer's day as
I recall every touch and caress. How he loomed above me, fighting
not to go harder, even though my body screamed for him to do it.
Ever since we found out about the baby, he has pulled back, not
wanting to accidently hurt either of us. Still, each moment is as
special as the last.
I run my finger along my lips, still feeling the buzz and swelling from
us kissing. Just the reminder of how his kisses ignite a fire inside of
me has my stomach fluttering.
I roll my head to the side, spotting Jaxon's side empty. I place my
hand there, feeling the cool cotton beneath my fingers. He's been
gone awhile.
Then my mum's voice reaches me, and I struggle to sit up, panicking
as I remember I've got people coming over. I glance at the time as I
finally make it up, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“No,” I whisper, seeing it's almost time for the guests to arrive.
I quickly grab my underwear before grabbing the maternity bottoms
and jumper, slinging it over my head.
As I go to leave though, I catch myself in the mirror and grimace. My
hair is a knotted mess, proof of Jaxon running his fingers through it
and me sleeping for an hour.
I quickly sweep it up into a messy bun before leaving the room. I
reach the top of the stairs as a sharp pain tightens my lower
abdomen. I bite on my lower lip, keeping the cry of pain inside as I
grip the banister tighter.
It fades as quickly as it comes and I take a moment to gather myself,
taking deep yet slow, steady breaths. I glance down as I run my hand
over my bump. “You need to slow down, little one. It will be time to
come out soon and you can kick and punch your arms out all you
like,” I soothe.
I take my first step down as Jaxon rounds the corner. I'm not going
to tell him the kicks are becoming more painful. He'll only worry and
fuss. And right now, I want to make these next few days about him,
about us, and our family. I want to make up for last Christmas and
the time we missed together.
“Hey, did you have a good nap?” he asks, keeping his voice low and
gentle.
My cheeks flood with heat and I open my mouth to reply, but then I
smell it. The smell of burnt food. “Did something burn?” I ask, my
nose scrunching up as we reach the bottom. My eyes widen. "Nã o.
The food. I need to cook the food. It's not going to be ready in time
now. What am I—”
“Take a breath. Your mum messaged me on my way home earlier
and said you had been on your feet all day and to make sure you
rested until she got here to help with setting up. I left you sleeping
so me and your mum could get started.”
He rubs the back of his neck, glancing away as I step into the
kitchen. Mum holds a towel to her chest, grimacing. My kitchen is a
mess. The finger bites of different foods I bought, lay on a tray, burnt
to charcoal. My lip trembles. “I ruined Christmas Eve.”
"O que?"
“I shouldn't have fallen asleep. I haven't even got your dessert made.
I had planned on baking you a pie for later, for after everyone went.
And now I won't have time. How am I going to feed people?”
“I ordered pizza and Chinese,” Jaxon rushes out, pulling me into his
arms. “I'm sorry I burnt the food. Me and your mum got talking
about the baby and we forgot the time.”
“We're sorry, sweetie.”
“I don't know why I'm crying,” I blubber, swiping the tears away.
Jaxon pulls me into his arms. “I'm always crying lately.”
Mum laughs softly as she steps in front of me. “It's your hormones.
They'll be a little all over the place, more so after you've given birth.
It will pass.”
“I feel silly,” I admit, clutching Jaxon tighter. “I wanted tonight and
tomorrow to be perfect and I'm letting it get to me.”
“I ordered food,” Jaxon repeats. “And you know your family love
takeout. They would never say no.”
“I know,” I whisper, my shoulders dropping in defeat. Willa suddenly
meows, jumping down from the counter, and I giggle as I take in the
salsa smudged into her nose. “Um, what happened to Willa?”
Mum grimaces as she sweeps the cat into her arms. “I dropped the
bowl of salsa, and she shoved her face in it before I could stop her.
Then she ran before I could wipe it off and has been hiding ever
since.”
I reach for her, taking her in my arms before reaching for a towel.
“I've got her, Mum.”
“Your dad should be arriving shortly. Your uncle Max and Lake are
coming. They have presents for the kids too.”
I smile as my stomach flutters. “Maddox and Amelia are still coming,
too, with the kids. He said he can't stay long tomorrow as he
promised Amelia he'll be having dinner with her parents. But he'll
be coming back on the night to see everyone.”
The doorbell goes and my eyes widen as I take in the room. Mum
laughs at my expression. “I'll clean this up. You go answer the door.”
I nod, handing Willa to Jaxon once I'm happy all the sauce is off, then
I waddle down the corridor and pull open the door.
Star runs into me before I can greet them, clutching my legs in a hug.
I laugh as she drops her head back, staring up at me. “Merry
Christmas,” she yells, smiling wide.
I run my hand over her dark locks. “Merry Christmas, Star. I guess I
don't need to ask if you're excited for Santa, huh.”
She beams even wider. “Nuh uh. This year is going to be even better
than last year. We have so many friends now, so we get so many
visitors and presents.”
My heart warms at her words. She has blossomed into a courageous,
confident little girl over the past year. Seeing her shine as bright as
her namesake is a treasure to witness. She is no longer the same
little girl who jumped at every noise in my class. She is growing, and
along with it, so is her personality. I couldn't be prouder of her.
I run my hand over her locks again. “Yes, you do. We have some
presents for you too, but you can open them later when everyone
gets here.”
She pumps her fist into the air. “Yes!”
She wiggles her bum as she heads inside, yelling to Jaxon, who
places Willa on the floor. I turn to Miah. “You excited too?” I tease.
He gives me his normal frowny face, but I don't take offence,
knowing he isn't as detached as he pretends to be. He wouldn't be
here otherwise. He loves his sister, and I know he loves us.
“Yeah, ecstatic,” he grumbles, and I laugh at his lack of enthusiasm.
“Don't worry, I got you something too.”
“Yay, more socks,” he mutters, and I laugh at the running joke from
last year. A lot of people bought him socks or boxers. If he didn't get
those, then he got an Africa Lynx set. I guess teenage boys are
harder to buy for. This year, we know him a little better, so it has
been easier to buy him things.
Blanche stops at the door, smiling at the kids. “I'm sorry I have to
dash off. The children picked out your gifts. Miah has them.”
That is the sweetest. “Blanche, I told you not to go to the trouble.
Thank you ever so much.”
She snickers wickedly. “Jaxon got socks. But don't tell him.”
I lean against the doorframe. “He's going to love them,” I tell her,
then remember her gift. “Oh, wait, I have something for you too.” I
reach over to the cabinet and grab the Christmas bag, then hand it to
her. “It's not much, but I hope you like them.”
She gently takes the bag from me. “Lily, you really didn't need to do
this.”
I wave her off. “I wanted to.”
She closes her mouth, seeming lost for words. After a moment, she
clears her throat. "Obrigada. Thank you so much.”
And Merry Christmas.”
She squeezes my hand. “You too. I hope you all enjoy your evening
together.”
“And you. I'll see you later when we drop the kids off.”
We quickly say our goodbyes, and once she's down the path, I close
the door behind her. Just as it clicks shut, another wave of pain hits
me. I breathe heavily, clenching my teeth together.
Jesus, that is sharper than the last one.
“You okay?” Miah asks, startling me.
I straighten, trying my hardest not to let tears form. “Yeah, just a
kick,” I tell him, knowing he's used to it now after Star made him feel
my stomach earlier on in my pregnancy so he could feel the baby
kick. It freaked him out so much he couldn't even look at my
stomach. I inwardly chuckle at the memory.
He cringes as he stares at my stomach. “The book said the baby's
movements lessen towards term,” he points out.
I smile; Eu nã o posso evitar. “You read the book?”
He shoves his hands into his coat pocket and looks anywhere but at
me. “There was nothing else to do when we had that blackout. I got
bored.”
I arch an eyebrow but don't question him further. The blackout
happened months ago, and because I didn't have enough candles to
go around both houses, I invited them here to wait it out. Me, Jaxon,
and Star put together a puzzle. Blanche did her crosswords and
Miah played on his phone until the battery died. I guess he didn't fall
asleep like I assumed when we left him in the living room.
“Did you need Blanche? Because she just left,” I tell him, jerking my
thumb to the door.
He holds a snowflake-patterned bag up, his cheeks turning pinkish.
“No, I forgot to give you this when I came in. Star forgot about it at
the house. She was excited to get here so I picked it up for you.”
I lean over, taking him off guard, and kiss his cheek. “Thank you.”
“Star got it. Not me.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I tease.
Just as I'm about to head into the living room, the door knocks again,
so I turn and pull it open, to be greeted by Dad and the others. “Hey,
princess.”
“Dad,” I murmur, hugging him back as he pulls me into his arms.
“Merry Christmas.”
“I smell burnt food,” Max declares, his face scrunched up in utter
disgust. “Why does it smell like burnt food?”
“I ordered in so don't have a hissy fit,” Jaxon warns him, coming up
behind me as I pull back from Dad. “And before you moan, I got a bit
of everything from the Chinese and pizza place.”
Aunt Lake walks in next with a few bags, Landon and Paisley
following. “Are those gingerbread houses?” I ask in awe.
Paisley grins. “I found some.”
Landon snorts. “She nearly tackled an old lady for them.”
Paisley ducks her head to hide her blush. “I did not. I saw them first.”
We've been looking everywhere for some for Star and Jasmine to do
tonight. “I couldn't find them anywhere. They've been out of stock.”
“Yeah, we found some at the market. The stall owner found a box on
his van and had just got the last two out when we saw them.”
“Thank you,” I tell her, going to take them from her hands, but Jaxon
swoops in, taking them before I can.
“Go sit down and rest. I'll bring you an orange juice out.”
I lean up, cupping his cheek. “Thank you.”
He presses a kiss to my lips, ignoring the groans of protest going on
from behind. My cheeks heat as I pull back and lead them into the
front room.
Dad props down beside me, seeing the new decorations I put up last
week. “You went all out.”
“It's our first Christmas. I wanted it to look festive.”
“Jesus, did Santa's elves fart decorations in here?” Max complains as
he walks in.
Lake smacks him upside the head. “Sit down and shut up.”
He grumbles as he flops down on the chair. “So, when are we giving
the kids presents?”
“Not everyone is here yet. Maddox is coming with Amelia and the
kids,” I explain softly.
“They'd better hurry up. I'm starving.”
“You've had Chinese,” Lake points out.
“Yeah, and that pizza will do for dessert.”
“I'm going to go say hi to my wife,” Dad comments, going into the
kitchen. A few seconds later, I hear him again. “Did she get burgled?”
Jaxon laughs under his breath as he walks in, handing me the juice.
He presses his face into my neck, laughing when we hear Dad
question Mum on how she let the food get burnt. “I promise never to
try and help in the kitchen again.”
I turn until our noses are nearly touching. “It was very sweet and
kind of you to try. Thank you.”
He places a hand over my stomach, rubbing gently. “You've been
doing a lot lately and I've been busy with work. You need to be
taking it easy.”
I press my lips against his briefly, not wanting to start my uncle or
cousins up. They always seem disgruntled when we kiss. I run my
hand over his jaw, staring up at him. “Let's not talk about work or
anything else. Let's enjoy the next day or so.”
He presses another kiss to my lips, grinning. “I can agree to that.”
There's another knock on the door, but before I can offer to get it,
Miah takes one look at my belly, grimaces, and gets up off the floor.
“I'll get it.”
“Thank you.”
Star quickly races into the living room, her entire face lit up. “Santa
has been here too,” she squeals, clapping her hands. She races off
before I can answer, and Dad walks in, chuckling.
“I forgot how much energy kids have.”
Max snorts. “Puh-lease. You had it fucking easy compared to me.”
Dad rolls his eyes as he takes a seat in the armchair. “I have more
kids than you so I'm not sure how you work that out.”
“I had fucking triplets. Nothing compares to the chaos they bring.”
“Only your kids,” Dad mutters as Maddox walks in.
“I'm telling you. It's discrimination,” Maddox declares.
“Oh no,” I whisper, sitting a little straighter at his tone.
Jasmine giggles as her mum makes a noise of distress. “Maddox, you
can't do things like that. What kind of example is that setting?”
“Dad, you agreed with me, right?” he asks, as Malik walks in.
He grunts, sitting down on the armchair next to Dad. “Yeah.”
Amelia throws up her hands. “I can't win with you,” she argues.
“He was discriminating against my girl. Who does that white haired,
fat pri—prince think he is?”
Amelia narrows her eyes. “Maddox.”
“He's not a prince,” Jasmine scolds him, before racing off into the
kitchen. “Cool, are we having a food fight in here?”
Jaxon's chest vibrates against my arm at her question. “What did he
do?” Jaxon asks, too much amusement in his tone.
“I'm glad you asked. He—”
“I meant you; what did you do?” Jaxon states, unable to hide his
amusement.
“Why do you assume it was me?” When Jaxon doesn't reply, Maddox
scoffs, and bends down to kiss me on the cheek. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas,” I reply, smiling.
He takes a seat in front of the fireplace before unstrapping Asher
from his car seat.
“Is no one going to fill in the uncomfortable silence?” Max asks.
“I don't want to talk about it,” Maddox grumbles.
Amelia sighs as she drops down on the floor next to him. “We went
to see Santa. It's Asher's first time.”
“Aww, that is so sweet. I bet he loved it,” I gush, excited for next year
when I get to take our little nugget to see him.
Maddox makes a noise. “Yeah, not with that fat—”
“Maddox, he was doing his job. Jesus. I would hate to have been your
parent when you found out the truth about him, you know, not being
real,” she whispers, making sure the girls don't overhear.
“Please, someone tell us what happened,” Max pleads.
“I'll tell you what happened,” Maddox declares, his voice rising. The
sound sets the baby off, and another sharp pain, like lightning,
shoots through my abdomen. I tense and cover it up by shifting in
my seat. It doesn't last long, and I'm hoping, like earlier, it fades,
giving me a little bit of rest.
It's either the baby moving, or Braxton hicks again, but I swear they
didn't hurt nearly as much as these ones are.
I tune back in to what Maddox is saying, just as he gets to the part
about it being their turn to see Santa.
“And he was all, ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas. Amelia took a picture
with just Santa and Jasmine at first, but then it got to the whole
'what do you want for Christmas' question, and because some lazy-
arse elf, who got drunk the night before, couldn't be arsed to wrap
the presents, they weren't exactly a surprise, so Jasmine said she
wanted the boy present.”
“What's wrong with that?” Max asks, gazing to the others for
answers.
Maddox points to his uncle. “Exactly what I said,” he screeches.
“It's all pre-booked. The presents are bought in advance for that
time slot, and you click extras and state boy or girl,” Amelia adds,
rolling her eyes.
“So, I told him she gets what she wants. And then he had the nerve to
argue with me and tell me that if she takes the boy toy, then a boy
will be stuck with a girl toy.”
“He called him homophobic for thinking a boy shouldn't be playing
with a girl toy, even though he never actually said those words,”
Amelia adds once more.
Maddox narrows his gaze. “He didn't need to say it. He implied it.”
“Did she get the toy?” Eu pergunto.
“Of course she did.”
“Then why are you mad?” I ask softly.
“Because then we had pictures with him and Asher, and then Asher,
Jasmine and Santa, and when I asked why he wasn't asking Asher
what he wanted for Christmas, he looked at me funny.”
Amelia pinches the bridge of her nose. “Tell her the rest.”
“There's more?” Jaxon asks, sounding shocked.
“Yeah, because then that fucker went to try and tell me they have an
age restriction on the toys, and so they didn't have a present for
Asher. He wasn't going to give it to me, so I took it.”
Amelia points to Maddox. “He tackled Santa to the ground to get this
toy, and if that wasn't bad enough, the kids thought they were
playing a game of 'pile on' and dived on him. They think Santa has a
few cracked ribs, a broken nose, and I'm pretty sure he had a black
eye by the time he managed to untangle himself.”
I place my hand over my mouth, unable to form words. It takes me a
moment to picture the moment in my head, and when I do, I can't
help it; I burst out laughing. “Oh my God, Maddox, you didn't.”
He rubs the back of his neck. “Technically, I didn't plan for that to
happen. Those kids should be held responsible.”
“Oh no,” I cry, laughing so hard my stomach hurts even more.
Everyone laughs uproariously, and every time Max tries to speak,
tears streaming down his cheeks, he breaks, cackling even louder.
“It's not funny. They took our pictures, and we are now banned from
ever returning.”
Amelia's words only make the group laugh harder.
Max leans forward, slapping the arm of the chair. “Please tell me the
present is worth it.”
Maddox grins. “Shit yeah. Me and Jasmine are going to have a game
of Nerf wars later, before she has to go to bed.”
As my laughter dies down, a surge of overwhelming happiness fills
me.
This is what Christmas is all about. It's love, it's laughter, it's family.
And I have all of it in abundance.
CHAPTER FIVE
Jaxon

My wife, heavily pregnant and glowing with happiness, is a sight to

see. I can't take my eyes off her, not even when I hear my name
being called.
Lily, Hope, Amelia, and the girls are sitting at the table, decorating
the gingerbread houses Paisley picked up. Her laughter and
beautiful face are all I've been able to focus on.
Lily is kind and gentle with everyone, but there's a different softness
to her when she interacts with the kids. Seeing her laugh at
something Jasmine tells her, a smile tugs at my own lips. This time
next year, it will be our child sitting with her.
It's hard to believe that this time last year, I was recovering from the
beating her relatives gave me, and from losing her. We've come so
far in such a short amount of time, but neither of us were willing to
wait a moment longer to begin our life together, which is why we
aren't wasting a minute.
The pregnancy came as a shock to her, but for me, it was a blessing;
just another thing tying us together. We are meant to be together.
She's the other half of my soul, and I never want to be without her. I
already lived through that for a short time, and I never want to go
through it again.
A part of me wants her to always be pregnant, but then the other
part, the part that wants to fuck her the way I want to, the way she
enjoys, can't wait for the baby to be born.
A sharp thump on my arm has me jerking my gaze away from Lily. I
narrow my gaze on my infuriating sister. "O que?"
“Stop staring at her like that,” she hisses under her breath.
“Like what?”
She rolls her eyes. “Like none of us should be in the house right now
because you are picturing doing all sorts to her. I'm kind of grossed
out.”
“She's my wife.”
“And her uncle's finger is twitching toward the knife.”
Sure enough, Max is glaring holes into my head, his fingers
drumming the arm of the couch where the knife lies.
“He doesn't scare me,” I tell her. She arches an eyebrow at my lie.
“Okay, his crazy intimidates me. I've never met anyone so
unpredictable.”
Movement from over by the dining room table grabs my attention.
Lily winces as she stands, rubbing her lower stomach. Paisley holds
me back before I can go and see if she's okay. It's not the first time
she's shown discomfort today.
“Don't fuss. Let her enjoy her time with the kids. She's been planning
this day for weeks.”
I scrub a hand down my face, knowing she's right. “She should be
taking it easy.”
“And if she does more than she is now, then we will step in and
help,” she rebuffs, before letting out a sigh. “I can't believe I'm going
to be an auntie soon. To not only one, but two kids.”
I frown at the sadness in her voice, and I know she's thinking of Eli.
“He'll sort it out.”
She nods and glances away, not wanting to think about our brother.
“You got everything ready for the baby?”
“Yeah, as much as we can.”
Jasmine comes running into the living room, and like he has a sixth
sense, Malik easily catches her in his arms when she jumps in his
lap. She squeezes his cheeks together. “Can we open all my presents
now?”
“Kid, we only brought you a few to open here. You'll get to open the
rest with us tomorrow.”
“Why not now?” she pouts.
“Remember, I told you that Star isn't going to be seeing any of them
tomorrow and they want to see her face when she opens them,”
Amelia gently explains.
She rolls her eyes, shifting on Malik's lap to get comfy. "Ok."
He leans down, whispering in her ear. “Don't worry, kid, I snagged
another Nerf gun while Santa wasn't looking. We can play that
after.”
She pumps her fist in the air. “Yes. You are all going to lose.”
I chuckle at her excitement, before reaching out for Lily, helping her
sit back down next to me. “You okay? You look tired.”
“Yes, I'm okay. We've finished the houses. The kids are going to eat
them later.”
I place my hand over her belly, feeling the swell of our baby growing
inside of her. “Are you sure? I saw you were in pain earlier.”
She leans into me. “Don't worry. The baby was just moving to get in
a comfier position.”
I press my lips to the top of her head, breathing in her strawberry
shampoo. “Let me know if it gets too much for you. I'll get everyone
to leave so you can get some rest.”
Star runs into the room, her entire face pale. I sit up, going on alert.
"O que está errado?"
“I forgot Lily's present.” She turns to her brother, her lips turned
down. “Why did you let me forget her present?”
He snorts and points over to the tree. “Eu nã o. I picked it up.”
She stares at the gift bag, then to her brother, before diving on him.
“You are the best big brother ever.”
“I'm your only brother,” he mutters, clearly uncomfortable.
Max, who is the closest to him, ruffles Miah's hair. “Awww, who's the
best big brother ever.”
“Shut up!” he grouches.
Max lets out a hearty laugh. “Don't worry, kid, I've got your back.”
“Yeah, at least his girlfriend isn't here this time,” Maverick
comments, taking a seat next to Mum.
I hide my amusement at the reminder. Max really embarrassed Miah
in front of the girl he's studying with.
“She's not my girlfriend,” he defends.
Star pouts. “You kiss her a lot.”
Max bursts out laughing. “Kid, you are so busted.”
Lily tilts her head to the side, glancing at Miah in concentration. “I
thought she was your study partner.”
He glances away. “Are we opening presents or what?” he snaps, but
it's not harsh, just filled with embarrassment.
“Lily has to open hers first,” Star yells, and races over to get it. “It's
for both of you.”
Lily gently takes the bag from her, and her entire body buzzes with
excitement. “Thank you so much.”
“Open it. Open it.”
Chuckling, I help Lily by grabbing the first one out, and hand it to
her. “Miah picked this one.”
Lily glances up from unwrapping the paper. “Thank you, Miah.”
“I, um, I…” He rubs the back of his neck. “It's nothing.”
Lily finishes unwrapping it as a gasp leaves her mouth. I look down
at the ash wood-coloured frame and notice her hands begin to
shake. The picture is from our second time at the ice rink. I'm in the
centre, holding onto Star's shoulders as she grips the penguin in
front of her. Lily is smiling so wide, her cheeks rosy from the cold
air, as she stares at the screen. Miah is the other side of me, and he's
actually laughing in the photo.
“You moaned and said you didn't want your photo taken,” Lily
reminds him softly, running her finger across the glass frame.
She's remembering the day it was taken. She wanted a photo of us
all, but he moaned and refused for so long, until he finally gave in.
Before the photo was taken, I had slipped, bruising my arse as I took
Star with me. Lily made a joke as I got back up and he burst out
laughing.
“I… Um, you don't need to keep that picture in there,” he tells her
when she doesn't say anything else.
Her head snaps up, tears glistening in her eyes. “It's beautiful, Miah.
Really beautiful. And I'll put it on my mantel later.”
I clear the ball from my throat. “Thank you.”
“It's just a photo,” he grumbles as red rises up his neck to his cheeks.
“It's not,” I tell him, meeting his gaze. Because it isn't. They might not
be our kids, or any relation, but they are family.
“And don't think I'm not hugging or kissing you when I do get up.
The only reason I haven't yet is because I know it's going to take me
a while,” Lily teases, wiping under her eyes.
“Open this one next,” Star demands, handing her a smaller box. Next,
she hands me a small gift. “This is yours.”
“You first,” Lily orders softly.
I unwrap the gift, laughing under my breath at the sight of two pairs
of socks. "Obrigado."
Miah snickers. “Look at the bottom.”
A little intrigued, I pull them out of the paper, glancing at the
bottom, before I burst out laughing. On one, it says, 'I married' then
on the other, it says, 'an angel'. The next pair has me pausing. They
read, 'I'm a dad now, I'm resting my eyes'.
“These are seriously kind of you,” Lily gushes, holding them up for
the others to see.
“It's nothing,” Miah states. “They're just socks.”
“Just socks,” I scoff.
Max laughs. “I love it when you get uncomfortable,” he tells Miah.
Miah narrows his eyes. “Who invited you again?”
“I don't need an invitation,” Max declares proudly.
“Open yours,” Star demands. “I picked this one out. I used up all my
money to get it.”
“Star, that is incredibly sweet of you, but you didn't need to do that.
You should have saved your pocket money,” Lily gently tells her.
“I really wanted to,” she assures her. “Open it.”
Laughing at the little girl's enthusiasm, Lily tears open the packaging
to reveal a blue box. Lifting the lid, her eyes widen, and a few tears
slip down her cheeks. The silver heart-shaped pendant has 'mum'
engraved onto it, along with a rose pattern down the side. “We know
you aren't our mum, but you'll be a mum, and we didn't want you to
forget us. This way, we can be with you, always. Isn't it pretty?”
Lily's breath hitches as she opens the locket. I pull her into my arms
as we both stare down at the photos. The first two spaces for
inserting pictures are blank, but in the last two spaces, pictures have
been placed there. One of Star's face, and one of Miah's.
“You can put one of Jaxon and the baby in there,” Star gushes,
pointing to the blank spaces.
“This is… I—”
“I did tell her it would be weird to put our faces in there.”
“No, it's not. She's been like a mum to us,” Star argues, her adorable
face scrunched up.
“You can take them out, Lily. We won't be offended.”
“I will be,” Lily promises, meeting his gaze. “These are the best
presents ever. Obrigada. Muito obrigado. I promise to treasure them
forever.” She pulls Star in for a hug, since she's close. She breathes
her in, tightening her hold. “I could never forget you; either of you.”
Teagan steps up behind the sofa and leans down, rubbing her
daughter's shoulder. “It's beautiful.”
Lily nods, then turns to me, handing me the necklace. “Can you put it
on me, please?”
"É claro." I make quick work of clipping it around her neck, and
when I'm done, she sits back, twirling the locket through her fingers.
“Now, you guys can open your presents,” she tells them, grinning.
I jump up and grab the two bags they have. I hand Miah his and Star
hers, before taking my place next to Lily.
“Can we open them?” Star asks.
Lily smiles. “Go ahead.”
Star rips into hers like she's afraid someone will do it for her if she
doesn't. She pulls out a pair of pink, glitter ice skates and squeals.
“These are amazing,” she screeches.
“Be careful with them,” Teagan warns, gently taking them from her
hands as Star goes to hug Lily, and then me.
Miah shifts uncomfortably as he tears open his, gasping when he
sees what's in the box. “Fucking hell.”
“Language,” every adult but Max scolds.
“II don't know what to say,” he breathes out, pulling at his hair.
“You… I—you got me a PlayStation.”
Maddox suddenly groans. “I knew being around the Hayes' would
turn you into one of them. A PlayStation, really?”
“I'm a Hayes now,” Lily reminds him.
He snorts. “You'll always be Lily Carter.”
“Shut up,” I retort, before turning back to Miah. “You wouldn't tell us
what you wanted and then we heard you talking about the console.”
“Oh my God, I got a Kindle,” Star yells, before diving to the next
present. “This is so much stuff.”
I laugh as she begins to put on her new slippers. We didn't go
overboard with them, or at least, I tried not to. Lily is the reason
either of them have clothes, although Miah has vouchers.
Lost in Star opening her presents, I don't see Miah stand until he's in
front of us. "Obrigada. For everything. Not just these,” he tells us,
and shocking me further, he leans down, wrapping his arms around
Lily's neck. “Thank you for coming into our lives.”
She bursts into tears, clutching him tighter. “T-thank you for coming
i-into m-mine.”
His eyes are glassy as he pulls back, and as he moves back over to
where his presents are, he doesn't meet anyone else's gaze. I wrap
my arm around Lily, pulling her against my chest as we watch them
open the rest of their presents. She finally calms down a little as Max
hands Miah the present he bought him.
“Don't say I never got you anything,” Max tells him.
“Oh God, no,” Lake breathes out, holding up a bag. “His present is
here. What did you do?”
Max shrugs. “He doesn't need any more bloody bathroom sets or
socks.”
Keeping a wary eye on Max, Miah opens the present, his face turning
beet red as the contents fall to the floor.
“Fucking hell,” I choke out, banging my fist against my chest.
“Please tell me you didn't get a teenager three boxes of condoms,”
Lake warns, her eyes narrowed on her husband.
“No, one of them is lube,” Max explains, glancing at his wife like she's
crazy.
“Is that a cock ring?” I ask, then duck my face into Lily's neck when
every female turns and glares at me.
“Max,” Lily scolds. “Blanche is going to kill me. She's never going to
let me see him again.”
“He's a teenager. He needs these things, or do you want him to get
his girlfriend pregnant?”
“She's not my girlfriend,” Miah yells, still beet red.
“And why the heck would you think he needs orgasm gel?” Maverick
barks.
“He's young. He probably doesn't know what he's doing. Put that on
his fingers while he's—”
“Do not finish that sentence,” Lake snaps, glaring at her husband.
“She's never going to let me see him again,” Lily whimpers, as Miah
rushes to shove it all back in the bag.
“What's a sex position?” Star asks, holding up the book that had
fallen next to her.
Miah makes a noise of distress as he takes it from her. "Nada. And
never speak of that again.”
She goes back to playing with the doll Lily bought her and we all
turn to Max, glaring. He throws his hands up. “I just wanted the kid
to be prepared.”
“Oh, like you've always been?” Lake scolds.
“I'm always bloody prepared, woman.”
“I can't believe you,” she hisses, smacking her forehead. “Out of all
the things you've done, this takes the biscuit.”
“You didn't complain when I did it to the boys.”
“You did it to the boys?” she screeches.
He grimaces. “I guess I never told you that, huh.”
“No, you didn't.”
Max sighs, turning to Miah. “Look, I'm just saying, be prepared. Not
everyone is cut out for the dad life. My wife got lucky having me as a
baby daddy. I've been on the ball from the get-go. Not everyone is
ready for kids so young.”
Lake narrows her gaze on her husband. “You passed out and
smacked your head on the counter when you found out you were
going to be a father. And let's not forget the time we found out they
were triplets.”
“We aren't talking about that,” he tells her, narrowing his gaze.
“Why, what happened?” I ask, wishing I didn't when angry gazes
come to me.
Shit!
The Carter's really know how to give out the death glare and make
people feel it.
It couldn't have been that bad, surely.
Lake opens her mouth to reply, but Max jumps in.
“Well…”
CHAPTER SIX
MAX

My foot taps restlessly on the blue vinyl flooring. Babies scream in

the waiting area, their pregnant mums chattering over one another,
talking about the most revolting things that us men don't need to
hear. Or need to know about. One woman just finished telling
another woman how badly she teared during her last delivery. The
woman couldn't poo without feeling like she was giving birth again.
I really didn't need to hear that shit.
There's a buzz in the air, and it only grows louder with my anxiety. I
scrub a hand down my face, wondering how we got to this point.
Well, I know how it happened, just not how, how.
We are so young and have our whole lives ahead of us. Adding a
baby into it wasn't a part of the plan. We are happy, or at least, I
think we are. But a baby… I still can't wrap my mind around it.
We've never really talked about it either, not seriously anyway. Kids
were never brought up in conversations.
I like kids, don't get me wrong. It's the pregnancy part I hate. I've
hated every minute of all my sister-in-law's pregnancies. And
they've been popping them out like there's no tomorrow. And they
stole my food along the way.
Pregnant women are scary as fuck when they want something.
Now I'm scared I'll push the love of my life away from me because
she'll eat my food. I know she will. She never gave a shit when she
stole it before, so why would it be any different now?
I tug at the strands of my hair. I'm going to fuck up, and she'll leave
me. She'll leave me and I'll never find love again. I might joke, and
fuck around, and piss her off, but she is my life. I've already gone
without her once before, and I felt dead inside.
“Max, you're making me feel sick,” Lake groans, pressing her hand
down on my leg, and I cease the bouncing.
I scrub a hand down my face, letting out a heavy breath. “I swear, I'll
share all my food with you, just please don't attack me, or steal the
last of the garlic bread when we order pizza. Don't leave me because
I've pissed you off.”
Her gaze softens slightly. “Max, what on earth are you going on
about?”
“I love you, Lake. I really, really love you. You're my whole world.
But now you're pregnant, and we know how people change during
that transition.”
“It's not a transition,” she scolds.
I wave her off. “It doesn't matter. I just need you to know now that I
love you, and please—I'm begging here—don't leave me.”
“Max, where has this come from?”
“You saw how the last pregnancy went,” I mope, my shoulders
dropping. “She nearly left.”
Lake laughs, unable to hold it back, and I scoff, offended. “She
wanted to leave you because you were being insufferable. She didn't
want to leave Myles.”
“Exactly. Nó s somos gêmeos. You're going to want to leave too, just
like she threatened to.”
“Kayla isn't your girlfriend, or your wife,” she reminds me, like that
makes a bit of difference. “If I was going to leave you, I would have
done it the day you tried to build the treehouse in the garden and
ended up smashing my laptop.”
“In all fairness, I didn't know it was unstable,” I defend.
“Or the time you got us kicked out of Disney World.”
“They kept pushing in front of the queue,” I argue.
She grabs my hand. “My point is, you give me thousands of reasons
to leave you, but I don't. Because all those reasons make you who
you are, and I love you for them.”
I rest my forehead against hers. “It's just one baby. I can handle nine
months of the food situation.” I glance up, meeting her gaze. “On one
condition.”
“What condition? Because you really don't have room to negotiate
with a pregnant woman. This baby is coming whether you like it or
not, and I don't care if you can handle it or not. It's a bit late now. I
mean—”
“Marry me,” I ask softly, my hands shaking as I grip the box in my
pocket.
She laughs, shaking her head. “Max, really? This isn't a movie. We
aren't religious. We don't need to get married just because I'm
pregnant.”
I turn to her, letting her see how fucking serious I am. “Marry me,” I
repeat, and pull out the box.
She presses her lips together and glances away. “Max, we aren't
getting married just because I'm pregnant. That's silly.”
“I knew you'd say that, so I brought this,” I tell her, handing her the
receipt. “Look at the date.”
Her hands shake as she reaches for it, and then she gasps. “This is
from before you found out I was pregnant; heck, this is from before I
even knew I was pregnant.”
“I've been trying to find the right moment to ask, but I keep getting
nervous,” I admit, then quickly add, “And no one else needs to know
that last part, okay?”
She glances up from the ring, her eyes welling up with tears. “II don't
know what to say.”
“Please say fucking yes, because people are staring,” I tell her from
the side of my mouth, giving the patients the side eye.
“You are serious about this?”
“As serious as the baby in your stomach.”
Her laugh is mingled with a sob as she throws her arms around me.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes.”
I squeeze her tight to my chest, breathing out a sigh of relief. “Never
forget you said yes and that you won't leave me.”
She pulls back, pressing her lips to mine. “I promise to always put up
with your insufferable behaviour.”
Eu sorrio. “Good, because they just called your name.”
She jerks back and beams. “Let's go see our baby.”
She said yes.
I pump my fist into the air and turn to the others in the waiting
room. “She said yes!”
They cheer and clap, and I grin wider. Lake smacks me in the chest.
“I'm not wearing the ring though.”
I nearly trip over my feet as I follow her, pulling the ring out of the
box. I'm sure I read somewhere that it's only cemented once they
have the ring on their finger. I don't want to take any chances.
The lady in blue scrubs smiles as she opens the door for us. “Just lie
down on the bed for me. A doctor will be in shortly to do the
ultrasound.”
“Put it on,” I fuss, grabbing her hand. She tries to shake me off.
“Woman, we are getting married now. Do as you're told.”
She tenses, turning to me, her expression like thunder. “You did not
just say that.”
“Just put it on so it's for real and you can't take it back,” I demand,
keeping my voice low. “I'm not taking any chances that you'll back
out and leave me. You remember what happened the day I found out
you were pregnant. I'm not sure how I'll react at actually seeing the
nugget.”
“This has to be the sweetest worst proposal ever,” she retorts as her
lips twitch.
I slide the ring on her finger before lifting her hand up and kissing it.
“Love you. And I love the food stealing baby inside of you.”
“I love you too,” she rasps, leaning up to kiss me briefly.
A slim, white-haired man steps into the room. “You ready to see
your baby?”
Lake lies back on the bed, smiling. “Yes.”
He glances up from his notes. “It says you aren't sure how many
weeks you are. Is that correct?”
“Yes. We've broken it down to between thirteen to fifteen weeks, but
we can't be certain.”
“Let's take a look then.”
I sit down in the chair next to the bed as he instructs us on
everything he is going to do. Lake seems to be absorbing it all, but I
can't help but freak out a little.
We are going to see our baby.
I can do this.
How hard can it be to raise one Carter? And it's not like my brothers
haven't got experience they can pass down to me. And heck, I'm the
best uncle to all their nuggets. When Charlotte had colic, I was there,
rocking her to sleep every night. Well, most nights.
I can do this.
“This will be cold,” he warns gently, squirting some gel on her
stomach. I sit forward, grimacing as he presses a wand on her belly.
He clicks some buttons on the machine every time he moves the
device in his hand, before continuing to move it around her stomach.
When he hums under his breath, I begin to panic.
I know that hum.
It's a 'I didn't see that coming' hum.
"O que está errado?" I blurt out. “Is the baby okay?”
Lake turns to me, then to the doctor, her eyes wide. “Is something
wrong?”
“No, everything is fine,” he assures us, turning the screen our way.
I squint to try and put together an image, but I'm seeing nothing but
static. “I think your computer is glitching,” I tell him. “It's fuzzy.”
He smiles, but I feel like it's more to indulge me. “It's how it's
supposed to look.”
“And everything is okay?” Lake asks again as she curls her fingers
into the sheet.
“Yes. And from the measurements I've taken, you are fifteen weeks
pregnant. I just need to take a few more measurements.”
I lean forward, squinting harder at the screen. “I don't see it.”
He points to the screen. “This is baby A, who is a little small, but it's
normal at this stage. Baby B is hiding right there,” he explains, like it
makes a lick of sense. “I—"
“Baby B?” Lake asks, her voice low.
“I'm lost,” I declare.
“We're having twins,” Lake tells me, her entire face paling.
“Who put you up to this because it's not funny,” I warn her.
“Actually—” the doctor begins, but Lake interrupts before he can
continue.
“No one, Max. I swear. We're having twins,” she tells me, fighting
back tears. “Twins.”
I sit up straighter and glare at the doctor. My brothers must have
paid him to do this. “Which one of my brothers got you to do this?”
He rears back. “No one. If you let me explain—”
“Nope. Check again. Something is wrong with your machine. Just
check again.”
“Nothing is wrong with the machine, I assure you,” he tells me. “But
there's something—"
“Check it again,” I bark, my eyes widening as I find it hard to catch
my breath. “Jesus, this has to be a glitch.”
“Do twins run in your family?” he asks, still clicking buttons. I sag
back into the chair, watching him like a hawk. He's clearly made a
mistake and is now fixing it.
“Yes. Um, we're actually both a twin,” Lake explains, her bottom lip
trembling.
“Makes sense.”
“What makes sense?” I squeak out. “Did you check it again?”
“Max, calm down.”
I stand, but my knees give out and I sit back down again. I can't
breathe.
This can't be happening.
“Please, check it again. My twin brother never had twins. He had one
baby. One healthy little girl. No other one hiding in the back there. So
please, check it again.”
“Malik had twins, and he's not a twin.”
“You aren't having twins,” the doctor interrupts, and I blow out a
breath.
I chuckle at Lake as I narrow my eyes on her. “You called up and got
them to do this to me as payback for knocking myself out over the
pregnancy news, didn't you?” I rush out in one breath.
“Um, no,” she answers before turning back to the doctor. “I'm
confused. You just said Baby A, and Baby B.”
He clears his throat. “You aren't having twins, Miss Miller, you are
having triplets. Congratulations.”
I begin to wheeze as I lean against the bed. “This isn't real. It isn't
real,” I whisper.
“Max,” Lake scolds.
I glare at the doctor. “Count them again. You've got to be wrong.”
He points to the screen again. “This is baby A, this is baby B, and
hiding just behind baby A, is baby C.”
“C-can't, breathe,” I gasp out when he outlines each baby, and I can
finally make out the image.
There are three of them.
Three heads.
Three bodies.
Six arms.
I glance at Lake in horror. She is going to be feeding for four.
“Put your head between your legs,” the doctor instructs as my body
begins to sway.
“I should have kept my head between hers,” I blurt out, my voice
going high.
“Max,” Lake snaps.
“Triplets,” I wheeze, banging my chest. “I can't-I can't breathe.”
The doctor gets up just as black spots flash before my eyes. The
room begins to blur in a kaleidoscope of colours before everything
goes black.

*** *** ***

You'd think with hundreds of conversations going on all at once, it

would drown out the voices in my head.
No such luck.
Three babies.
After finally getting a second opinion and an earful off Lake, I
decided to come to the one place that can help me forget.
Three babies.
I have super fucking sperm.
The condensation from my pint drips down onto my hand. It's my
third, maybe forth pint, but at the slow rate it's going helping me
forget, I think I may need to move on to something stronger.
Three babies.
Definitely something stronger.
The stool beside me scrapes across the laminate flooring. Needing to
be left alone, I glance at the newcomer, ready to get rid of them, but
find my twin sitting down.
“Hey, I thought you had the scan today. How did it go?”
“How did it go?” I repeat quietly, slamming my pint down on the bar.
“How did it fucking go?”
“Did I miss something?” he asks, as Malik takes a seat on the next
stool over, immediately dropping his head to bar. He has been in a
constant state of sleep deprivation since the twins were born. That
was nearly two years ago.
“It's all your fault, you prick.”
“I know I've not had much sleep lately, but I'm sure I would know if I
had done something.”
I push back on my stool and stand in front of him. I stab my finger
into his chest and get into his face. He didn't have to come here and
be all fucking smug about it. “You fucking cursed me, Myles.” Malik
sits up as Mason and Maverick come and join the huddle. I glare at
them all. “You can all piss off and leave me alone. I don't need to see
your smug faces right now.”
“Sit down before you fall down,” Myles warns as I sway a little.
“Did something happen at the scan?” Maverick asks.
I scrub my hands through my hair as my eyes burn. “It's all his fault.”
“What's my fault?” Myles screeches, throwing his hands up.
“You could have twins,” I scoff, mimicking his voice. “Then she'll be
feeding for three.”
His eyes widen as realisation hits him, and he grins, like the smug
fucking twin he is. “You're having twins?”
Maverick hoots. “Congratulations.”
“You are so fucked,” Malik quietly murmurs, his pity staring back at
me.
I don't need his fucking pity.
“Yeah, I am, and you want to know why?” I hiss.
“Why?” Malik replies.
“Because this fucker cursed me,” I snap, and grab the bottle of
whiskey from the barman as he passes.
“Hey,” he barks, but Mason waves him off, letting me keep the bottle.
“You don't have money for that,” Myles warns.
“I still have some shares in here,” I bark. “I'm going to have to quit
my course. Take a teacher's job. Then I can be around for the
holidays so Lake can still work.”
“What are you going on about?” Maverick asks. “You can still do your
course.”
I meet his gaze dead on. “No, I can't.”
“Yeah, you can. We're all managing to do it,” Malik tells me.
“Your mind will never settle on a teacher's job,” Maverick warns.
“You need a challenge.”
“And you'll end up killing the kids,” Myles points out.
“Don't speak to me,” I snap, before turning to Maverick. “I have to do
what's best for Lake. And this is what's best for her. For all of us.”
“I bet she won't see it like that. She will go ape when she finds out
you've changed all your career plans for her and the babies.”
“She won't, because none of you fuckers will tell her and I'll act like
it's my dream fucking job,” I tell them, pointedly glancing at Myles,
who is the only one living at the house now. “And if you fucking tell
her, I'll never forgive you. I mean it.”
“Max, you're being dramatic,” Malik warns. “I know I make it look
hard, but it comes with benefits too. It's not always sleepless nights,
nappy changes, trying to keep them from sticking their fingers in
sockets, or getting vomited on. I swear.”
I wipe away the whiskey that dribbles down my chin. “It's easy for
you to say that.”
“Why?”
“Because you have twins. We're having fucking triplets,” I yell, and
the entire bar quietens down at my outburst.
Stunned silence greets me and I sit down, grabbing the whiskey
bottle again and downing it.
Maverick is the first to laugh, collapsing across the bar. Mason,
Malik, then Myles follow.
Wankers.
My shoulders slump and I hunker down with the bottle. “That's it, all
fucking laugh.”
Maverick takes the bottle from me and pushes it aside. “Stop
drinking yourself stupid.”
I snatch it back. “Fuck off, all of you.”
“How has Lake taken the news?” Myles asks through bursts of
laughter.
“Okay, I think. She didn't freak out or anything,” I reluctantly admit. I
want to be alone, goddammit. I need to plan for the future, one that
involves three tiny humans.
"Onde ela está ?" Maverick asks.
I grimace as I rub the back of my neck. “She told me to get lost after I
dropped her off at her mum's. She needed time to absorb the
information without me whispering, 'three babies', every two
seconds.”
Malik grins. “Triplets.”
“That doesn't explain why you are here drinking yourself stupid,”
Maverick declares.
“Because I need to come up with a plan.”
“What plan?”
“A plan to make sure she never leaves me. A plan to make sure my
kids know never to fuck around and pinch my food. It can be a rule
from the minute they take their first breath. And I need to figure out
how the fuck I'm going to afford to raise three fucking kids.”
“And drinking is going to do that?”
“It helps me fucking think,” I snap. “None of you have to worry about
this. None of you.”
“We've all got kids,” Maverick states.
“None of you are me—as much as you wish you were.”
“I don't even know what you mean by that,” Maverick replies.
I grit my teeth as I take in a deep breath. “I can't lose her. I can't. She
gets me. All of me. And I'm so fucking scared I'm going to fuck this
up. I know I teased you all throughout the pregnancies, but I'm
fucking serious. I'm not Mason, I'm not Myles, and I'm not Malik. I'm
not you,” I tell Maverick, meeting his gaze. “Words don't come as
easy to me as they do to you.”
“Have you met me?” Malik asks.
I scrub a hand down my face. “I can't fuck this up.”
“Of course you can,” Maverick states, slapping me on the back.
“We're Carter's. We'll always fuck up.”
“You don't get it.”
“Yeah, I do, because believe it or not, we've all been where you are
right now. We've all had the same fears, the same insecurities, and
the same troubles. But you'll be a great father. I think you'll surprise
everyone by how good you'll be.”
Eu bufo. “Yeah right.”
He claps my shoulder, gripping it. “Max, you've done nothing but
surprise me your whole life. The first time you got expelled, you
somehow managed to talk yourself back into school. When you did
your SATS during your sickness bug, you surprised me by passing.
And again when you did your GCSEs and A-levels. You surprise me
at every turn. But nothing surprised me more than the day you
realised you were in love with Lake. Be that person, Max. Be it for
her, because she loves that person. She doesn't need you to change.
She wouldn't want you to.”
I swallow past the ball in my throat. “It's still Myles' fault for jinxing
me,” I whisper.
Acknowledging I don't want to talk about it, he moves away.
Myles clears his throat. “So, what are we doing, because I have an
hour before I have to get back to Kayla.”
“Why aren't you with her and Charlotte?”
His cheeks burn red. “She's getting fed up of me waking up Charlotte
just so I can hold her. She told me that if I didn't leave for a few
hours, she's going to kill me.”
“Hormones.” Malik shudders. “I swear, they'll be the death of us.”
“I guess now isn't really the time to tell you guys that Denny is
pregnant again. We found out yesterday. It's still early.”
“She's just had one,” I screech, thinking back to the nightmare Denny
was through her pregnancy with Ciara. “Did you two not listen to the
six weeks of no sex thing?”
Maverick rolls his eyes at me before turning to Mason. “Why didn't
you say anything?” Maverick asks, as the rest begin to congratulate
him. I stay seated and whimper, knowing it's going to be a long year.
He briefly glances at me. “It's still really early. It's come as a shock to
us too.” He pauses, glancing at me. “And she didn't want to deal with
Max, since he's only just recovered from all the women being
pregnant close together.”
Great. Just great. I turn to the barman, holding up my hand. “Give me
the tequila, whiskey, and fuck it, throw in the scotch,” I demand.
“Max,” Maverick warns.
“We might as well celebrate it now. Because let's face it. I'll either be
unable to drink until they turn eighteen or become an alcoholic
before they reach one. And that's even if I survive starvation for the
rest of the nine months because everyone is bloody pregnant again,”
I snap.
Or Lake doesn't kill me in my sleep.
Three babies.
Maverick sighs, sitting down on the stool on the other side of me.
“Yeah, pass me a shot of vodka,” he murmurs.
I guess life is about to change.
For us all.
Novamente.
CAPÍTULO SETE
Lily

I tune out as Max runs over the rest of the story. His fears of
becoming a parent have hit me hard and it's got me thinking. I don't
want to change my career, but I do want to stop working all together
and be there for our child—at least until they are at school. I just
don't want to miss out on a single moment of their life.
I never realised, until he pointed it out, just how much is going to
change. Working is something Jaxon and I haven't talked about, but I
guess it's something we need to discuss. Because if his work
continues to have issues, I don't want to add to his plate. Or lose the
income if we need it.
Jaxon's arm goes around me, pulling me from my thoughts. I tilt my
head up, giving him a gentle smile. His eyes crinkle at the corners as
he leans down, pressing a kiss to the corner of my mouth.
“You okay?” he asks, keeping his voice low so he doesn't interrupt
Max.
I nod. “Yeah.”
I briefly kiss him before turning back to Max in time to catch the end
of the story.
Aunt Lake stares at her husband with wonder in her eyes. I'm pretty
sure we lost her the moment he admitted to changing courses
because she hasn't blinked since.
Or shouted at him for getting so drunk he needed his stomach
pumped.
“You never told me,” she tells him, her voice clogged with emotion.
“You said teaching had always been your passion. You even made
me think I gave you the courage to do it. You came home stressed
from college, and I asked you, 'is this something you really want do'
and you said, no, but you couldn't afford to change careers now. I
told you to follow your dreams and become a teacher, Max.”
He grimaces. “I never meant to share that part.”
“Max, why would you do that?”
He shrugs, briefly glancing at the others in the room. “Because I love
you. I looked at it all long-term, so I was being logical, as always,” he
explains, earning a chorus of snorts from around the room. “My
course was six years. I'd have been studying and working
internships for hours I could never have predicted. Then there was
me actually getting a job in that field. It wouldn't have been an eight
to five job and that would have put more pressure on you. It just
made sense for me to do something more practical.”
Dad clears his throat. “Give her the main reason, since we are being
truthful.”
“Main reason?” Aunt Lake asks.
“That is the reason,” he rebuffs, glancing away. “Now, are we going
to keep opening presents?”
“Tell me.”
“There's nothing to tell.”
Lake glances at Dad, arching her brow. “Maverick?”
“Don't,” Max warns.
“Tell her,” Dad replies. “It's Christmas, and you've already told her
the other parts.”
Max sighs, leaning back against in the chair. “Whatever. It's not a big
deal, so don't go crying on me,” he warns her. “You know I hate it
when you cry.”
“Swear.”
Clearing his throat, he finally answers. “Because being a teacher
gave me time with my kids. I could be there through all the holidays.
I wanted to be the best dad to my kids, and I wanted to be present. I
didn't want to be like…” He pauses for a moment, clenching his
teeth. Once he gets it together, he continues. “I just wanted to be
there. For all of you. And I wouldn't have been able to do that if was
working endless hours.”
My fingers tense against the cushion beneath me. He stopped his
words, but I know what they were going to be. I know because more
than once I had the same thought, only about her.
"E?" Maverick butts in, breaking me from my thoughts.
Max rolls his eyes. “And I wanted to make sure you never got
overwhelmed and left me. I had to give you a reason to keep me
around when I did fuck up,” he tells her, but seeing everyone is
staring at him, he continues, “But I know that's never going to
happen. You can't live without me. Who could?”
“Me,” Maverick mutters.
“Me too,” Malik pipes in.
Breaking her promise, tears begin to stream down her cheeks. “You
let me stay mad at you for a week.”
For once, he actually looks embarrassed. “I deserved it.”
“How did you get her to forgive you?” Dad asks. “I always did
wonder.”
Lake smiles fondly at the memory. “He bought me three vests. One
had 'Please' on, the second had, 'Forgive', and the third one had 'Me'
written on it.”
Max grins. “And to suck up even further, I had 'World's Best Mum'
written on the back.”
She sits down in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Max,”
Lake murmurs.
“Don't. I did what I did for our family, and I don't regret it.”
“It's not too late to do what you want to do. If I had known, I would
have stopped you, Max. I want you to be happy.”
Shifting with her in his lap, he clears his throat. “I actually like my
job.”
Her brows bunch together. “You aren't just saying that?”
"Nã o. Believe it or not, I really do. It kind of grew on me.”
Dad chuckles. “He really does.”
“Everyone loves me there,” Max announces. “I'm like a god to them.”
“No, they are just too scared you'll teach other students to be like
you,” Harlow announces. “You forget, most of those teachers
couldn't wait for you to leave school.”
“I'm like a bad penny. I keep coming back.”
“I love you,” Lake tells him, gripping his face. “And never, for one
minute, think you've been anything but a good father and husband.”
He grins. “You going to tell me that in another twenty-two years?”
“I'll tell you that with my last breath,” she promises, kissing him.
“Oh God,” Landon heaves. “Please stop.”
I snuggle into Jaxon. “It's so romantic.”
“No, it's not,” Landon screeches. “It's disgusting.”
Max pulls back, grinning. “Then you really don't want to know about
the night you were conceived.”
“Jesus Christ,” Landon hisses. “Mum's right. You are a great father.”
Sitting up straighter, Max turns to his son. "Eu sei."
“I wasn't finished,” Landon mutters. “You are a great father—until
you open your mouth.”
“He doesn't mean that,” Lake tells Max, giving her son a warning
glance.
Landon rolls his eyes. “On that note, we're going to head out. We
have guests at the bed and breakfast and still have people to see.”
“Do you have to go so soon?” I ask, not ready for the night to be over.
"Sim. I want to go see Charlotte before we get back.”
“She's at Drew's father's,” I remind him.
He grabs his coat. “Yeah, he told us to pop round, so we need to get
moving.”
I place my hand in Jaxon's. “Can you help me up, please?”
He gets up, taking my hand in his, whilst the other slides down my
back, helping me stand.
“Jaxon, Jaxon, look at this,” Star yells, and he diverts his attention to
Star and her present.
I head over to Landon in the hallway, where he and Max are huddled
together in a quiet conversation. “Dad, you really are the best father
we could wish for, but the first time you brag about it, I'll deny it and
take it back.”
Max grips his son around his neck and pulls him in for a hug. “Got
you.”
Spotting me, Landon nods. “Give me two minutes to say goodbye to
Mum and I'll come say goodbye.”
I nod, and once he leaves, I turn back to Max.
“You okay there?” he asks, leaning against the banister.
I rub a hand over my stomach as I answer. “Max, back there, did you,
um, did you really think you could be anything like him?” I ask softly.
I don't want to overstep. I never do. But I need to know the answer.
He rubs the back of his neck, grimacing. “Not in the way you're
thinking. I'd never hurt a child—let alone my own—and I'd never
raise a hand to my wife. I rarely raise my voice.”
“Then what did you mean?” I ask softly.
He lets out a heavy breath, his gaze quickly going to the living room.
“It means I share his DNA. The small part of me that kind of freaked
out over having triplets, let other fears surface, and I freaked. I was
so worried I'd fuck up, just like him. I guess being told you aren't
good enough for most of your life really does leave you with scars.”
I space out for a moment. “Yeah, I get that,” I murmur.
He steps forward, placing his hands on my shoulders, jerking me
from my dark thoughts. “Stop that.”
“Stop what?” I ask, unable to meet his gaze.
“You are nothing like her.”
My eyes burn with unshed tears as I meet his gaze. “But what if I
mess up but in another way? We all know I have issues. I—”
“She had six kids, Lily, and out of us all, you are the best of us. You
might have scars, but they haven't darkened your soul. You are pure,
beautiful, and this child couldn't wish for a better parent.”
“Max,” I rasp, reaching for his hand.
“He's right,” Dad interrupts, startling me and I drop Max's hand.
“And I get that you're scared, but I never want to hear you doubt
yourself again. You are the best of us. And you are going to be a
fantastic mum.”
I step into his embrace, wrapping my arms around him. “I love you,
Dad.”
“I love you too, baby girl, so please, stop breaking your father's heart
by thinking that way.”
“It's hormones,” I tell him, wiping under my eyes before stepping up
to Max, hugging him too. “And for what it's worth, you could never
be anything but you.”
Max grips me a little tighter before pulling back, his grin wide and
filled with smugness. “There's only one me.”
“Thank God,” Dad mutters.
Something inside me shifts, and I stare at my uncle, losing my smile.
“We only need you.”
“I knew I was your favourite,” he announces.
Eu balanço minha cabeça. “Don't start that again please. I had a
migraine for a week after you guys kept claiming you were the
favourite. You are all my favourites.”
He winks. “Yeah, okay.”
I laugh, glancing away as Landon comes back, his hand tucked
around Paisley's. “We're heading off.”
“Thank you for coming,” I tell him, before turning to Paisley. “And
thank you for finding those gingerbread houses.”
“Yeah, I'd, um, go make sure Max doesn't finish them off.”
I turn to where my uncle was just standing and find the spot empty.
How does he do that?
Dad laughs, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “You should be
used to it by now.”
“It's for the kids,” I groan.
Landon grimaces. “Yeah, um, I got hungry again, so I had a bit too.”
I shove my face into Dad's chest a little, my shoulders shaking as I
fight back laughter. "Está bem."
He leans down, giving me a peck on the cheek. "Vejo você amanhã ."
We say our goodbyes and I turn to Dad. “I'm sorry about before.”
“Don't be. Just know we love you, and if you ever need to talk, we are
here. Just please, never think those thoughts about yourself.”
“Max, don't eat that. It's for the kids,” Lake yells from the living
room.
Dad glances down at me, grimacing. “I need to go sort him out.”
“Go. I'll be in, in a second,” I tell him, forcing a smile.
As soon as he leaves, I press my hand against the door, breathing in
and out as pain slices down my back.
Deep breaths.
Deep breaths.
 *** *** ***

Jaxon and I are sitting in bed, me cuddled up to his side as the

Christmas movie plays on the television. Popcorn fills the bowl in
front of us, so do other various treats, from candy canes to
chocolates and crackers.
This is how I want us to end all future Christmas Eve's.
The pains in my stomach have finally ebbed away. The midwife
warned me before that my Braxton hicks could come back. I guess
the stress of wanting everything to be perfect brought them on. But
it's over.
And now; now I'm in my happy place: alone with my husband,
curled up, watching a movie with our cats snuggled at our feet.
Pure bliss.
“Did you have a good day, Angel?”
I tilt my head up, smiling. “The best. The kids were so happy, even
Miah.”
“They were. Miah got a PlayStation, so why wouldn't he be?”
“I think we could have gotten him socks again and he would still
have been happy.”
His hand curls over my shoulder. “True. He's a good kid.”
A yawn slips past my lips, and I shake my head. “I can't believe I'm
still tired after sleeping in late and taking that nap.”
“The book said you will get more tired the further along you get.
You've been running around for weeks now, double checking
everything is ready for the baby and then getting ready for
Christmas.”
I bite my lower lip. “I'm worried I'll miss something.”
He shifts until he's lying down beside me. He tucks my hair behind
my ear. “It won't matter if you do, because we'll sort it, Lily.”
“Yeah,” I murmur, my mind wandering.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks, taking my hand.
I meet his gaze. “I've been carrying him or her for nine months, and
yet, I still can't believe that in a few days, he or she will be making an
appearance. I guess after hearing everyone else's story, it's really
hitting me. This is real. We are going to be parents. I'm going to be a
mum.”
“And you are going to be a fantastic mum.”
I rebuff his comment. “I hope they look like you. I want our baby to
have your hair, your eyes, and your smile. I want him or her to be
just like you,” I declare.
“If our child is going to be like anyone, they're going to be like their
mother.”
“You can't know that,” I tell him, feeling the blood drain from my
face. I never want my children to have my fears, my reactions or
outbursts.
“Lily,” he calls, gently cupping my jaw. “I do, and you want know
how I know?”
“How?”
“Because you inspire people to be the best they can be. You make
me a better man. And when our child is born, they are going to feel
their mother's love and do everything in their power to be just like
her. And you'll teach them. You'll teach them to be kind, to know
what is right and what is wrong. You'll teach them to love and to
love those around them.”
“Jaxon,” I whimper, wishing I could press closer.
“It's true. And I swear, if we have a daughter who looks just like you,
who has your heart, I'm fucked.”
That brings a small smile to my face, even if my heart is fluttering
like crazy. “Why?”
“Because it means I'll have to apologise to your dad and uncles.”
I didn't expect him to come out with that.
“Why?”
“Because I'll do anything to protect her, just like they did you,” he
rasps, and tears gather in my eyes.
“I love you,” I tell him, leaning up. He leans down, meeting me
halfway as his lips press against mine. Flutters erupt in my stomach
as he sensually flicks his tongue against mine one last time.
“Love you too, Angel.”
“Love you more,” I tell him, the words filled with emotion.
“Never.”
Eu balanço minha cabeça. He doesn't get it. He never gets it. My gaze
locks with his. “When I say I love you more, it doesn't mean I love
you more than you love me. It means, I love you more than anyone
else could ever dream of loving someone.” I take a breath as I lean
into him. “They aren't just words to me. It's not just an emotion to
me. I love you with everything that is me. I love you. I love who I am
with you. And I'll love you more tomorrow than I did today. I'll love
you more than I'll ever be able to express. And it scares me.”
“Lily,” he rasps, running his hand down my chest and over my bump.
I place my hand over his. “I never thought I'd have this. And here we
are. Days away from bringing our child into the world. And it scares
me. It scares me because I'll never be able to put into words how
much I love you for the life you've given me.”
He presses a kiss to my lips, this one harder, filled with more
passion as he takes control. He pulls back, his pupils dilated.
“Lily, I'm nearly twenty-six, and yet my life didn't begin until you
took a chance on me. I promise to be the man worthy of your love,”
he promises, pressing closer. “But, Lily, you make it sound like I'm
the only one giving in this relationship and that's not true. You've
failed to bring up the most important thing.”
“I did?” I ask in surprise, trying to think what it could be.
His lips tug up into a small smile. It's only brief before he goes back
to being serious. “You gave me something you've never given
anyone outside your family. You gave me you. And now you keep
giving by carrying our child. And that, Angel, that is everything. You
took a chance on me, and now look at where we are; how far we've
come. I'll never be able to give you sweet words to describe what
that means to me, but I'm hoping that every day I show you what it
means. It's always been you. Always. I love you, Lily.”
Another tear slides down my cheek, dropping onto the pillow beside
me. “These are happy tears,” I assure him when he goes to argue.
"Eu prometo."
He presses his lips to my forehead, and I close my eyes, savouring
the touch. “Love you, Lily.”
“Love you too, Jaxon.”
“Does this mean we can agree our child will be like you?” he asks, all
so serious.
I splutter out a laugh. “How about we agree to give them the very
best of both of us?”
He grins. “I can deal with that.”
“Good,” I murmur softly.
“Now, are we going to finish this film?”
My lips tug into a smile as I rest my head against his chest, wrapping
my arm around his torso. “Yes, we are.”
He kisses the top of my head before running his fingers along my
shoulder. Minutes pass before I feel him relax under me.
His words play in my mind. You gave me you.
Then my uncle Max's. She had six kids, Lily, and out of us all, you are
the best of us.
Maybe I am worthy of love.
With that, and in the safety of Jaxon's arms, I rest my eyes and listen
to the sound of the movie playing, letting it lull me into a deep
slumber.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Lily

Birds chirp outside the open window. I look through the curtains
blowing from the spring breeze and find a little bluebird sitting on the
ledge. He's staring right at me as I swing back and forth in the rocking
chair. Somehow, it feels like the bluebird is there guiding me,
protecting me.
I close my eyes as the scent of freshly mowed grass wafts through the
open window, and I enjoy the sound of the little bluebird chirping.
A small cry pulls me back to the present, and I glance down to the
buddle wrapped in a white fleece blanket in my arms.
I know without a doubt that this is our baby, the one it feels like I've
been waiting my entire life to meet. With Jaxon's dark hair and his
dark green eyes, our baby is just like their father. And although they
have Jaxon's features, I can still see me in them. I can see the curve of
my upper lip and the cute button nose.
Our baby is beautiful.
Love like nothing I've ever felt blossoms in my chest.
Our baby is me. Our baby is Jaxon.
Our baby came from love.
Knuckles rap against wood and I glance up, beaming when I see Jaxon
standing in the doorway in his work clothes, still dusty from his last
job.
“We had our baby?”
“Lily,” he calls out, stepping into the room, but his image flickers out,
and then there's her standing there, glaring at me with that lethal
look that could whip the best of them.
“You,” I breathe, staring into the stone-cold eyes of my biological
mother.
I try to move, to escape, to get my baby to safety, but I'm glued to the
seat and powerless to do anything but watch her approach.
A cruel smirk plays on her lips. “You are going to feel just what it was
like for me.”
I lift my child closer to my chest, my entire body trembling. I try to
focus on her image, to see her face in full, but it blurs every time I try. I
always forget what she looks like as a whole, but never the way her
eyes hardened when she looked at me, or the tightness around her lips
when she spoke.
“I'm going to be nothing like you.”
“You are all like me.”
“Maverick raised me. He loves me. He is nothing like you. My mother,
my real mother, is nothing like you.”
“They are all like me. You have my blood.”
Tears slide down my cheeks, falling and soaking into the baby blanket.
“Leave me alone,” I rasp.
She bends down, her cruel eyes on my baby, and I can't move, frozen to
the rocking chair as I watch her cage us in. “You don't have what it
takes to be a mother.”
Her face morphs before me into a puff of smoke, and before I can
comprehend what is happening, Jaxon is there, knelt before me, one
hand lovingly on our baby's head. “When the time comes, don't wait.”
“Wait for who?” I ask, before leaning forward. “Jaxon, it was her. She
was here. She—”
“She was never here,” he soothes me. “But I need you to promise me
that when the baby comes, you'll tell me.”
“Jaxon, the baby is right here,” I fret, my entire body shaking. “They
are here.”
I hold the baby up for him to see, but in my arms is an empty blanket. I
glance at Jaxon, horrified.
He tilts his head, sadness pouring from him. “It will be okay, Lily. We'll
get our baby back.”
“Back?” I cry. “Back from where? Did she take her?”
Suddenly, he disappears, and Mum is there, hand raised, ready to hit
me. “You should have listened to me.”
The slap has me shooting up in bed, gasping for air. It's not real. Nã o
é. And as I clutch my stomach, tears gathering in my eyes, it hits me
that it's not. Our baby is still protected inside of me, bringing me a
little comfort.
I've had weird dreams throughout my pregnancy, but nothing like
that. I have a bad taste in my mouth and I'm shaking with fear as I
remember her words. You have my blood. We might share DNA, but
it doesn't make me anything like her. I could never do what she did
to a child, or any living, breathing thing.
Glancing to the other side of the bed where Jaxon is still sleeping
soundly, I debate whether or not to wake him, to tell him what
occurred in my dreams. But seeing him rested, knowing how busy
he's been lately, I slide out of bed without stirring him. As I grab my
dressing grown from the back of the door, I take one more glance at
him.
It wasn't real.
I tiptoe out of the room, heading downstairs. And only when I get to
the kitchen do I let myself relax. My stomach cramps, my back aches,
and I swear I can feel the sting from the slap she gave me just before
my dream ended.
It's not real. Não é.
My heart races as I study the vinyl flooring and take deep, easy
breaths.
It's not real.
It might not be real, but it felt real. And I can't get rid of the same
sense of doom I felt in my dream. I'm not sure what any of it means
or if it means anything at all, but the dream still has me freaked out.
“It's going to be okay,” I promise the little one. “It wasn't real. And I
promise, she will never, ever hurt you.”
Needing to soothe my dry throat, since it feels raw from screams I
never made, I grab a glass from the cabinet before heading over to
the sink to pour myself a glass of water.
As I bring the glass to my lips, I catch sight of white flakes outside
the window. I gawk as they fall in a slow flutter, and the ones that
reach the window, instantly melt away.
“Oh my God, it's snowing,” I whisper, my dream long forgotten. “And
it's Christmas.”
This has to be a sign, a good one.
Glancing at the clock, I know I have time to do what I prepared. For
weeks, if not months, I've not been able to get up early, so I wasn't
sure if this surprise would be doable. But I bought the ingredients all
the same.
And now I can.
Grinning, I begin to gather all the ingredients, excitement bubbling
inside of me. Today is our first Christmas together, and I want to
make it one he won't forget.

*** *** ***

I sense him before I feel him. Stepping up behind me, his chest
warm, comforting, Jaxon wraps his arms around me, placing both
hands on my rounded stomach.
He presses a kiss to the side of my neck, and excitement flutters in
my stomach. “I'll do the dishes, Angel.”
“I've got them,” I tell him softly.
He gently pulls me away from the sink and smoothly turns me in his
arms. Not caring my hands have soap suds on them, he lifts them,
wrapping them around his neck. “Merry Christmas, Jaxon.”
The crinkles around his eyes soften as he leans down, capturing my
lips. He takes his time, savouring the moment, before reluctantly
pulling away.
“You were up really early. Did the baby wake you again?”
Eu sorrio. “I think we're passed he or she pushing down on my
bladder without warning. Nugget is constantly there.”
“Then why so early?”
“Because it's Christmas, it's snowing, and I wanted to go all out for
our first Christmas breakfast.”
“Thank you, Angel. I loved it.”
I lean up on my toes, unable to keep the smile off my face. “Presents
now.”
He groans as I drag him into the living room. “I told you I didn't want
anything. I have everything I could possibly need right here.”
I bite my lip when I realise my dilemma. There is no way I'll be able
to get down on the floor. Not unless I want to spend the day down
there. “Um, I think you might have to rummage through there and
find the ones from me. They are in red paper with a gold ribbon on.”
He takes my hands, and with efficient manoeuvring, helps me down
onto the sofa. “On it. You sit there and look gorgeous because it's my
turn to spoil you.”
“Do your presents first,” I tell him, nerves bubbling inside of me. “If
we wait any longer, I might throw up.”
He chuckles, piling them all into one pile in front of me. “Do you have
an order in which you'd like them opened?”
“No,” I tell him, then lean forward. “Yes. No. Maybe.”
He chuckles, sitting back on his arse. “We have to be at your parents
in a few hours, babe. Which will it be?”
I point to the envelope. “Open that one first.”
He grins, lifting the envelope shaped present. He tears open the
packaging and the sound has my stomach rolling.
Gosh, I'm so nervous.
He pulls open the printed tickets and freezes as he reads it over. He
meets my gaze. “Angel,” he murmurs in awe.
“I heard you and your brothers talking at the office. You all said you
wished you had a day where you didn't have to think about work.
Then you mentioned going racing. This is that. And because I wanted
to make sure you had your brothers, I got them all one too.”
“Angel, we were messing around. You didn't need to do this.”
I shrug. “You work a lot, and I know things have been getting to you
there with all the new developments going on. I wanted you to have
a break away from it all.”
“Thank you,” he tells me, and reaches up, giving me a kiss. I kiss him
back, smiling. “Now I can blackmail them into helping with the shit
jobs because they are not going to want to lose these tickets.”
“Don't be mean,” I tease.
“So, which one next?”
It's then that I shift uncomfortably, because I'm not sure the next
ones are what someone will call presents. I just didn't know what to
get.
“I guess that one, although there are two parts.”
He picks up the eight by ten gift, tearing it open. The frame itself is a
plain rustic frame, with the words, 'I love you', but inside is a picture
of my naked bump, my fingers shaped to make a heart, and perfectly
placed in the middle of the heart is our most recent scan photo.
“Fucking hell,” he breathes.
“At our photoshoot, you said you were going to miss my bump, so I
thought I'd capture it again but when I was bigger,” I explain,
pointing to the photo. “I, um, I also got others done, that, um, you
don't need to put in a frame. They are for you.”
He eyes light up as he rips open the other present. He flickers
through them, choking when he reaches the last ones. The one he is
staring at is me in a ruby red, thin dress. The photo makes it look
like I'm lying in a large swimming pool, but I'm really in a kids'
paddling pool. The water soaked me, and the dress clung to me,
emphasising my bump. It's sexy, revealing, and leaves nothing to the
imagination.
“Fucking hell,” he groans, going to the next one.
This one, there's a backdrop of the outdoors and I'm naked bar the
sheer white material around me. Hayden and Charlotte held it out so
it wasn't completely draped over me. I was able to stand in a way
that covered the most important parts, with one hand covering my
breasts and the other in the air, making it look like it's me holding
the material off my face.
With the lighting, the background, and the wonders the makeup
artist did before the photo was taken, I look really good.
And the last one, the one I'm most shy about, is next. It's me in a lady
Santa costume. It's sexy, short, and covered less than my hand in the
photo before.
“Read the back,” I tell him, twiddling my thumbs.
He turns it around, reading the note I left on the back. “I couldn't
keep the costume, but I kept the underwear. And one day, in around
six to eight weeks, I'll show it to you.”
“Hayden kind of talked me into it, but, um, I really do have the
underwear. It's wrapped in one of the other presents.”
His pupils dilate as he leans up on his knees. He pushes me back
against the sofa, running a hand down my fleece pyjamas. “I might
not be able to do the things I want to do to you, but it doesn't mean I
can't do other things.”
“Jaxon,” I moan as he slowly begins to unbutton my top.
“They're fucking sexy as hell, baby. Really fucking sexy.”
My cheeks heat with a blush. “T-thank you.”
He pulls my top apart, revealing my bare breasts. My cheeks heat
further. Not from embarrassment as such—because Jaxon has
always made me feel confident and sexy when it comes to sex—but
because every time feels like my first time, just without the pain.
“And now I think I want to see the real thing.”
“Jaxon,” I whimper, shivering when he cups my tits, squeezing. I bite
my lower lip, stopping the moan from escaping. It's hard to keep it
in when he touches me like that, but more when he talks like that to
me.
“Seeing them, I'm hard as a rock. Every time I look at them, I'm going
to be hard. And I'm going to want to fuck you.”
I'm okay with that. I don't think I'll ever tire from wanting him.
“Jaxon,” I call out, my voice low. He captures my nipple with his
mouth, flicking the tip with his tongue. “Jaxon, p-presents.”
His eyes droop lazily as he stares at me. “I've not finished getting
mine.”
"Huh?" I rasp, just as he fingers slide into the waistband of my
trousers, slowly sliding them down my legs.
“Yeah, I'm definitely not done getting my presents,” he rasps, right
before his head goes between my legs.
I fall back, spreading my legs a little wider as a moan slips past my
lips.
“I guess we could open the rest in a little while.”
He doesn't reply, but his fingers tightening around my thighs is
answer enough.
He's wrong though.
This isn't a present for him.
This is a present for me.
CAPÍTULO NOVE
Lily

The snow has thickened through the morning hours, leaving a

blanket of snow everywhere.
We have places to be, but Jaxon is sure we'll be okay to get to my
parents, then to his mum's, and then back home again. He's so sure
it isn't going to stick for long. It rarely ever does, but seeing the
untouched snow outside, I'm not too sure this time. It's growing
thicker by the hour.
A part of me is worried we'll be snowed in at my parents, unable to
drive home. We can walk, but with the baby due in only a few days,
neither of us want to risk it. Getting around is becoming trickier and
more tiring each day.
We also have other plans, ones that don't involve staying snowed in
at my parents. I blush at the promise he made after we finally got
dressed and ready for the day.
“The baby is due in a few days, and I won't be able to be inside you for
nearly two months. We are going to make use of the few days we have
left.”
He already started making good on that promise on the sofa. Then
again as we were getting undressed for the shower.
“Seeing you round, pregnant with our baby, it makes me so fucking
hard. You fucking glow carrying our baby, Angel. Your tits are fuller,
your hips are rounder. And, Angel, you just make it look sexy as heck.”
And he makes me feel it. After not being able to see my feet for
months, having swollen ankles, backache, Braxton hicks, and not
finding clothes that are comfortable, I haven't felt sexy. But then he
will look at me, and all that nonsense goes away.
I twirl the locket around my neck, then the bracelet Jaxon bought me
that's around my wrist. I'm covered in love; from the people I love.
It's Christmas. We are on our way to my parents, then later, to his
mum's, and it's snowing.
Today is already spectacular.
“We've got heat in the car, and I've got it running already, but you
might want to put a hat and gloves on, just in case. I don't want you
getting sick,” Jaxon warns, shaking snow out of his hair as he walks
in.
“Did your granddad get to your mum's okay?” I ask worriedly.
“He went last night. Mum messaged me this morning saying she
picked him up. I've been scraping the snow off the car and getting it
warmed up.”
“That's good,” I murmur as I pull the woolly grey hat over my head.
“You ready?”
“Are the presents in the car?” I ask as I pull my gloves on.
“Yeah, Angel.”
I beam at him, leaning into his touch. “Then I'm good to go.”
He cups my jaw and leans down, pressing his lips to mine. “It's good
to see you finally relax.”
“It's because I have you. And it's Christmas.”
“You really do love Christmas,” he murmurs, searching my gaze.
"Eu faço. It's my favourite time of year.”
"Por que? People are so busy and stressed.”
I laugh at his view on Christmas. “Because it's magical. No matter
what you have on all year, how busy you get, or how lost you feel,
Christmas is the one day that brings everyone together. It's a day
where the world outside stops and everyone is together.”
He studies me like he's reading my mind. He does it a lot. “Angel,
your family have more family get-togethers than any family I know.
You don't need Christmas to be together.”
I sigh, wishing he didn't read me so well. “It's not about that. Not
really. Our first Christmas together means a lot to me. It opened my
eyes to the world. It's magical. And they made it so. All of them. And
each year, I see that magic once more. Plus, I love being around
them. It makes me feel whole.”
He pulls me in as close as he can, bending his head so he can kiss me.
“Then let's go and make the rest of the day magical.”
I nod, then step out into frigid air. The snow is picking up, blanketing
the ground and every surface.
“Are you sure it's okay to drive?”
“Yeah, I've got a four-by-four. We're good.”
Taking my hand, Jaxon guides me to the car. He's pulling open the
door when we hear it. Yelling.
I freeze, recognising Charlotte's voice. We both turn in the direction
of the alley, our eyes wide.
“Landon, wait!” ela chora.
“I don't want to know,” Landon yells, coming into view as he stomps
down the path, Charlotte chasing him and nearly losing her footing.
“I need to bleach my eyes.”
“Charlotte, get back inside. It's snowing,” Drew yells.
Landon glares over Charlotte's head. “I don't need to hear your voice
right now either.”
That's when I see her, really see her. Charlotte is in her thin covered
gown—which is not doing much to conceal what she has on
underneath—and is wearing a bow around her chest.
“Is everything okay?” Jaxon asks, his lips twitching.
“Fine,” Landon snaps.
“He walked in on me giving Drew his last Christmas present,”
Charlotte admits, her shoulders dropping.
I giggle into the sleeve of my coat, unable to meet their gazes.
“I'm going,” Landon states. “Call me if you need a lift and I'll come
back.”
Once he's gone, I turn to Charlotte. "O que aconteceu? You okay?”
She beams, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Sim. I took a page out
of Hayden's book. Apparently, men really do like having you
wrapped up in a bow on Christmas.”
“Oh no. And Landon walked in?” I guess, horrified of the prospect
one of them could have done that to me this morning.
I blush as I remember Jaxon going down on me right there in the
front room.
Although, the last time Maddox tried to let himself in, he left with a
black eye. It was an accident. Jaxon swore it was. But no one has
ever attempted it again.
She bites her lip as Drew reaches her. “Um, Katnip kind of, um, liked
the bow too, and, um, attacked the loose parts. Drew was trying to
get her off me, and I screamed because her claws had dug in,
catching my nipple. Landon, um, I guess he thought I was in trouble.”
Drew, her hulking man, swings her up in his arms. “It's snowing and
you only have thin material on.”
She grins up at him, tucking his hair behind his ear. “We're totally
going to have sex.”
He clears his throat, jerks his chin at Jaxon and I, before turning to
leave. “See you later, guys.”
“Bye,” I call out, watching the towering, tattooed guy walk away.
Charlotte's red hair blows out with the wind, flecks of snow sticking
to the red locks, and just before they move out of sight, she calls out,
“See you in a little while. We won't be long.”
“We might be late,” Drew calls out, before their voices fade into the
air.
I stare up at Jaxon, happiness filling me. Charlotte deserves
happiness, and seeing her with him, on Christmas, in the snow, it
makes me happy. “She's so going to be late.”
He arches an eyebrow. “Magical? Really?”
I slap his chest. “Okay, that is something we couldn't have predicted
and not something that happens normally on Christmas. Wait for it.
You'll see,” I tell him, then lean in and whisper, “It's magical.”
He laughs and helps me climb into his truck. “Yeah, Angel, I'm sure I
will.”

*** *** ***

My laughter dies off once the girls finish teasing the guys about the
mishap with Landon and Charlotte this morning.
All of them look ready to take him on, and I'm sure my uncle Max
reached for the step ladder more than once. Why it was there, I don't
know. Dad normally keeps it in the cupboard under the stairs.
We're waiting for the others to arrive before exchanging gifts. Only
Maddox, Amelia and the kids are yet to show up.
Charlotte didn't end up being late. She ended up epically late, only
just now arriving. Everyone understands why Maddox couldn't be
here earlier. He has a family now.
Charlotte pulls off her pea green coat, hanging it over the door to dry
out, and sticks her tongue out at Hayden. “How did it go for you
then?”
"Sério?" Max groans, falling off the chair as he scrambles to get up.
Hayden glances away, but Clayton, catching on, begins to laugh.
“Don't you dare,” she warns him.
He ignores her and answers Charlotte. “I've seen three-year-olds
wrap better.”
Charlotte's lips twist. “You didn't bow it before and slide it on, then
just tighten it?”
Hayden glares at her cousin. "Nã o. And I was kind of in a rush since
we slept in.”
"O que aconteceu?"
Hayden frowns as she sits back on the sofa. “Clay isn't wrong. Except
it looked like a baby T-Rex wrapped me. I didn't realise bows were
so hard to make.”
Jaxon leans down. “My present is way better,” he whispers.
I blush, squeezing his hand. Only Mum, Hayden and Charlotte know
about those photos, and I want it to stay that way. “Shh, you'll set
Max off again.”
“I don't think I need to.”
I turn in time to see Max fighting to get to Clayton. “Let me at the
pretty boy. I don't need ladders to get to that fucker.”
“Dad, pipe down and have a—”
The front door bursts open. “I'm telling you, Amelia, she tripped
me.”
“Maddox, drop it already.”
“Aww, did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?” Jasmine teases, then
comes racing into the living room, giggling. She jumps right into
Malik's arms, and used to her flying at him, he catches her easily,
setting her on his lap.
“What's going on?” Mum asks, helping Amelia with her coat.
“This one,” Amelia states, jabbing her thumb in Maddox's direction,
“slipped. And blamed an old lady for it.”
Maddox throws his hands up. “She did. I'm telling you now, that
woman is out to destroy Christmas. My Christmas. You heard her.
She had to get back to cook her dinner.”
“Because she did,” Amelia argues, though she's unable to hide her
amusement.
“Yeah, then looked right at me and said, oh dearie, I hope you are
okay to walk home.”
“She was being nice.”
“No, that old bat was being condescending and trying to ruin my
Christmas. I lost my food because of her.”
Amelia rolls her eyes as she takes a seat in the only empty chair left.
Dad's place is big, but our family is bigger.
"Nã o. You slipped, and instead of picking yourself, and your dignity,
up off the floor, you blamed the sweet old lady who just wanted a
walk in the snow.”
“Yeah, only because it might be her last,” he snorts, then chokes
when Amelia pokes him in the stomach.
“Don't be mean,” Harlow scolds, also clipping her son around the
ear.
“Whatever,” he retorts, sulking as he sits down, Asher in his arms.
Feeling a gaze on me, I turn, smiling at Jaxon. He arches an eyebrow,
his lips twitching.
“Magical?” he asks, his tone full of doubt.
I laugh, unable to hold it in. “I swear, it gets better.”
“Yeah,” he replies doubtfully, just as his phone begins to ring. He
pulls it out of his pocket, and I catch Reid's name. He grimaces. “I
need to get this.”
I nod, watching him go. He stands in the hallway, still in my view, as
everyone around me continues with their conversation.
I tense when his expression tightens, and sit forward in my seat,
ready to get up. Something has happened, something bad.
My stomach rolls, tightening to the point it takes my breath away.
“You okay?” Mum asks, and I feel her drop down into the empty
space beside me.
I can't look away from him. His fingers pull at the ends of his hair,
and he sighs, dropping his head forward, like he's come to terms
with whatever has been said on the other side of the phone.
“Jaxon,” I murmur, and as if he heard my plea, he meets my gaze. A
shudder runs through me at his expression. Whatever is going on,
I'm not sure I want to know. He says something else, sadness
creeping into his eyes as he glances away. “Mum, help me up,
please.”
“Of course,” she replies, and helps me up. Dad, seeing, rushes over to
help too.
“Bathroom break?” he teases.
“Jaxon,” I repeat, and let go of their hands, walking over to him.
“Yeah, whatever,” he tells them, and ends the call, pocketing his
phone.
“What's going on?” Eu pergunto.
He flinches, meeting my gaze. “Lily,” he breathes out, defeated.
“What's going on?” Dad asks, stepping up beside me, Mum at my
other side.
He looks to both of them, and then to me, and whatever he needs to
say, he can't. Or won't.
“Please, what's going on? Did something happen at your work? Did
that guy do something? Has—”
“No, nothing like that,” he assures me, but I'm unable to relax, still
feeling that strain in my lower stomach. “You remember I told you
Reid got drunk and had to crash at a bed and breakfast?”
“Yes.”
“He was on his way back, and whatever he ate, whatever he drank,
has made him sick. He can't drive any further. He said the snow is
worse and he nearly swerved twice trying to vomit in the bag.”
“Okay,” I comment, nodding. None of that explains why my stomach
is still rolling.
“Lily,” he murmurs, stepping closer, and as he does, Mum steps
away, giving him room.
“I'm right here,” I tell him.
“Fuck, you need to go get him, don't you?” Dad declares.
Jaxon closes his eyes like Dad's words have pained him. And now I
understand his dilemma. It's sad that Reid is sick, and I hope he's
okay, but that isn't what is troubling him. It's me. He doesn't want to
leave me.
“I'm so sorry, Lily. I would have left him there to sit it out, but it's
Christmas. Mum is already going nuts, and everyone but Wyatt has
already started drinking. We can't call out for road assistance
because there's nothing wrong with the van. Just fucking Reid.”
“Jaxon, go; he needs you,” I tell him, understanding now. I reach for
him, gripping his biceps. “It's okay.”
“No, it's not. This is our first Christmas together.”
I smile at that. “It's not going to be our last, and you'll be back before
long.”
He groans, dropping his head back. “I can't leave you.”
“Jax, son, go. We've got her until you return. She's with family.”
Jaxon jerks his chin at my dad, but addresses me. “I'm so fucking
sorry.”
I lean up, pressing my lips to his. “Go, get your brother, then come
back. It's really okay, Jaxon. I promise.”
“How did I get so fucking lucky to have you,” Jaxon murmurs, pulling
me against his chest.
“Beats fucking me,” Dad mutters, earning a slap to the gut from
Mum.
“Go. If the roads are getting worse, you need to hurry.”
"Sim. And I need to get Wyatt since someone will need to drive the
van back.”
“Hurry back,” I softly demand, kissing him once more. “And tell Reid
I said I hope he feels better soon.”
“Love you. I'll call you when I'm on my way back.”
“Love you too,” I reply.
He leaves, and as soon as the door closes behind him, I lean into Dad
and take Mum's hand.
“He'll be back, sweetie,” Mum assures me.
"Eu sei. I just wanted to show him the magic.”
“What's that about?” Dad asks, glancing down at me.
I grin up at him. “You guys. Christmas. The magic.”
Dad chuckles. “Princess, I don't think it's hit you yet, but it's you who
brought magic to Christmas, even long after you found out Santa
isn't real.”
My heart melts at his words, and I curl an arm around him. This is
why he's the best. He always knows the right things to say.
“Santa isn't real?” Maddox asks, sticking his head through the door.
“Shut up,” Dad tells him, rolling his eyes.
“Where's Jaxon?” he asks.
“He had to go get Reid. He's stuck somewhere throwing up and
needs to get back.”
Maddox snorts as he turns, heading back into the living room. “I'd
have left him there.”
“Left who where?” Max asks.
Jabbing his thumb towards the door, Maddox replies. “Jaxon has had
to go and get Reid. He's got an upset stomach and can't get back.”
“Maddox,” I sigh, then turn to Max. “He's really sick and he's worried
he'll crash the van if he keeps going.”
“And Jaxon just left?”
“Reid is his brother,” I remind him.
“And? I'd have left him to freeze,” Max states. “He shouldn't be
leaving you this close to your due date. I'm telling you, he should be
glued to your side, prepared for anything. Just like we all were for
our wives.”
“Max, he already feels bad enough that he had to leave,” I tell him as
Dad helps me back in my seat. “Don't make him feel worse when he
comes back, please.”
He opens his mouth to reply but catches on to the women's glares
aimed his way and decides to rethink whatever he's going to say. He
throws his hands up. “I'm not wrong. Am I wrong, guys?” he calls,
glancing to his brothers.
“I hate that these words are coming out of my mouth, but he ain't
wrong,” Mason replies.
Max grins. “Not the first time you've told me that.”
“Shut up,” Mason snaps.
Denny, flicking her long blonde hair over her shoulder, laughs. “You
have no room to talk, Mace. Remember the night I went into labour
with Ashton?”
Mason blushes. “That's different.”
“Is it?” she asks, arching an eyebrow. “Because you were only next
door and look what happened that night. And Ashton isn't even our
first child. You'd think you would have learned by then.”
“Denny,” he groans.
“What did he do?” Hope asks, grinning in her dad's direction.
Denny leans forward, amusement written all over her. “Well…”
CHAPTER TEN
DENNY

Blue.
The tranquil and calm colour is everywhere. Blue bunting lines the
room, blue balloons with a few silver mixed in, and blue treats,
which include blue chocolate covered strawberries, sweets, a cake,
and other bits they somehow managed to get made blue. There are
blue tablecloths, blue napkins, blue baby bottle drinking glasses and
blue paper straws to match the decor. It looks fabulous.
A boy.
After two girls, and a lot of pink, I'll finally be adding a little boy to
our family, one who I hope looks like his father, will be protective of
his older sisters, and has a true heart of a Carter.
Coming back to the present, I take in a breath, glance at the camera,
smile, then pull away from Harlow to take another look at the photo
booth they had made. The balloons make an arch around a silver
ring, and in the middle, it says, 'It's a boy'. It's gorgeous, especially
the blue floral backdrop.
My eyes close as a stabbing sensation runs from my lower stomach
to my ribcage. I suck in my lips and bite down, not uttering a sound.
Once it passes, I glance back to Harlow.
The smile she's aiming at me is filled with mischief. “When are you
going to tell Mason you're in labour?”
I make sure no one else is listening before leaning in and replying, “I
was in labour with Ciara for four excruciating days. I've got plenty of
time. The contractions are far apart so there's no need to worry just
yet. And you know how Mason gets.”
Her expression drops and she leans in closer. “Are you sure? We can
finish this party another day. No one will mind.”
I smile and pull my best friend in for a hug. "Nã o. This baby shower
is everything. I don't want it to end,” I tell her, pulling back to glance
around the room. “Thank you for all the hard work you've put in to
make it perfect.”
My two girls are in bed at Malik and Harlow's with a few of the kids,
whilst the rest of the kids stayed over at their nan and granddad's.
Joan and Mark love them, and it's the kids' favourite place to be. I'm
gutted Joan or my nan couldn't be here for what is essentially my
last baby shower, but they both wanted to help look after the kids,
not trusting the men to do it. It wouldn't be the first time one of the
kids got one up on their dads.
Mason is over at Malik's with the rest of his brothers, probably up to
no good. So, this evening is just for us girls.
She places her hand on my arm. “You're more than welcome. It's
been an amazing day. I'm glad we got to do this for you.”
“Me too, especially since this will be my last one.”
Mason and I decided the day we found out we were having a little
boy that this pregnancy is going to be our last one. It had come as a
surprise as I hadn't long given birth to Ciara, our beautiful baby girl.
Three is enough for us, enough for our family, and for our home. And
once this little guy is born, we are going to spend the rest of our lives
making sure all three are nothing but loved and cared for.
She links her arm through mine as we both stare off into the living
room, watching the others laugh and eat their snacks.
I glance to Ciara's baby toys in the corner, then to the school bag in
the corner near Hope's reading nook. All of it really hits me.
Everything I have lived through, everything I survived, and
everything I've ever gained stares back at me in this house. All of it.
And it makes me realise just how lucky I am to be where I am, to
have who I have.
Harlow rests her head on my shoulder. “Yeah, I bet.”
My mind is still on the room, the house, my family. Staring at all that
I have, all of who I have, and what I've been blessed with, has got me
thinking.
I squeeze her side. “You changed my life,” I declare, needing her to
know as emotion clogs my throat.
"O que?"
I clear my throat and pull back. “You changed my life the day you
walked into that classroom. You sat down next to me and suddenly,
everything changed. My world changed,” I explain. “You saved me.
Without you, I'd never have the best friend I do.” I give her a pointed
look. “Without you, I'd never have gotten Mason's attention. He
would never have looked twice at me. If you hadn't come to town, I
wouldn't be here right now, pregnant with my third baby, married,
and blissfully happy. You gave me the courage to stand up for what I
believe in, and you've been there for me every day since. Thank
you.”
Harlow gives me a small smile as she tilts her head. “Denny, I can't
believe that. I can't believe there is a world without you and Mason
together. It might not have happened the way it did, but I truly do
believe you two were always going to end up together. I mean, who
else would put up with him?”
I splutter out a laugh, wiping under my eyes. “True.”
“I'm happy for you,” she crowed, before her gaze becomes unfocused
for a moment. “And there's something I need to tell you.”
Before I can question her, Kim, a friend from work, speaks up. “Um,
why is a guy standing near the other house, staring at this house?”
I glance through the nettings and let out a breath. “Don't worry. It's
only Max.”
At the back door of Harlow and Malik's, Max is standing there, arms
crossed, glaring holes in our direction. It's started to drizzle, but he
doesn't even blink.
“Are you not gonna go to him?” Kayla asks Lake, who looks dead on
her feet—which I'm not surprised about. Their triplets are only a
few months old and they're already little hellions like their father.
“Fuck no. He made his bed; he can lie in it. I gave him one rule: Don't
touch.”
“Wow, what did he do?” Kim asks, wide eyed.
All eyes turn to me, Kim's being the last. I grimace, shrugging. “He
ate a tray of party sausages.”
She lets out a breath. “I thought you were going to tell me he cheated
on her or something.”
Lake snorts. “One, he loves me too much to cheat, and two, he likes
his dick where it is and not shoved up his arse.”
“Then I don't understand. He looks so pitiful out there,” Kim
murmurs, glancing back out of the window. “I think he's actually
crying.”
Lake replies. “That's what he wants you to think. Trust me, it's best
for everyone if he's left alone.”
“I don't get it,” Kim murmurs, her gaze flicking from one person to
the next. “I feel like I'm missing something.”
Harlow takes pity on her. “He's hoping someone takes pity on him
and gives him some food.”
Poor Kim still doesn't get it. “Why don't you invite him in for some?
It's starting to rain.”
All eyes once again swing my way. “Because he ate my party
sausages.”
“Um, okay.”
“All of them,” I tell her.
“I'm still not following.”
“I was getting the sausage rolls out of the oven, and as I turned, I saw
him shove the last sausage in his mouth and I kind of, um, reacted.”
“Reacted?” Kim asks, glancing to Harlow for answers when I don't
reply.
“She kind of swung the tray in his direction, and it slipped out of her
hand and hit him on the head.”
“Oh dear,” Kim mutters.
“It's fine though. He's used to it,” Harlow explains, waving it off.
“In all fairness, he should have learnt his lesson by now. He knows
better than to go after a pregnant woman's food,” Lake explains.
My stomach tightens, and to cover the pain, I turn away from the
girls, pretending to be interested in the goodies filling the table. I
reach for a sausage roll, shoving it in my mouth, as I nearly crumple
to the floor with pain.
As quickly as it started, it goes, and I take a moment to compose
myself before turning back to the room.
“Denny?”
I glance at Harlow, forcing a smile. “Yeah?”
“I said: how is Mason doing now?”
I actually flinch at the reminder. Mason tried to help me clear it up,
but he ended up knocking over a tray of spring rolls. I threw a hissy
fit to end all hissy fits. I overreacted. But in my defence, I had been in
the middle of a contraction. He didn't know that though.
“I'll make it up to him. I actually feel bad because he's been up with
Ciara, taking on the extra workload, and with this pregnancy, he's
got a lot on. He didn't need me throwing a hissy fit.”
“He'll be fine. They need shaking up once in a while,” Teagan tells us.
“True,” I force out, turning my back to the room once again.
Porra!
This one hurts more than the last. And they're closer together.
“I think you need to tell Mason now,” Harlow sings quietly.
I nod. “I will. Let us finish the party first.”
“Denny,” she disapproves, giving me the stink eye.
“Shit!” Lake bursts out, glancing up from her phone.
"Tudo certo?" I ask, gripping Harlow's hand as another contraction
hits.
"Nã o. Max spilt the last three bottles of breast milk,” she explains,
getting to her feet. “I'm really sorry, Denny, I need to go feed them.”
“Don't be. It's completely fine. Pop round after with them.”
“But—” Harlow begins.
I squeeze her hand tighter, stopping her next words. “But if you
can't, I understand. I'm just glad you came.”
Lake makes her way over to me, pulling me in for a hug.
“Congratulations again and I'll try to come back, but you know the
feeds can take a while.”
My arms tense around her as my stomach tightens. Hearing her let
out a wheeze, I pull back, clearing my throat. "Eu sei. It's fine,” I
assure her. “Thank you for coming.”
Harlow walks with me as we make our way to the front door. Max
stands from the chair under the canopy, rocking Hayden in his arms.
“She's starving,” he yells.
“Are you saying I'm starving my kids?” Lake snaps.
Max pales, glancing to Maverick, who has the sense to look away, not
getting involved. Max gulps. "Nã o. My bad.”
Movement at the top room window of the house pulls my attention
away from Max. My contractions are long forgotten when I spot
Maddox and Madison fighting over the pizza box on the windowsill,
the curtains drawn behind them.
“Um, Harlow…” I call.
She glances over at me, her brows bunched together. “Do you want
me to call Mason now?”
"Nã o. Um—”
“You need to be in the hospital where they can monitor you.”
“Yeah, I know, and I will be, but you need to know—”
“Stop being stubborn. I thought Max was the stubborn one, but you
may actually have him beat today.”
I laugh at her insult. “Harlow, if you would stop for five seconds, I'm
trying to tell you the twins are sitting on the windowsill fighting
over pizza.” I quickly glance up to the two culprits. “And I think
Maddox won because Madison is smacking him across the head with
the doll.”
Her eyes widen as she watches Madison shove her brother against
the window, his face mushing against the glass.
“Shit!” she hisses. “Malik! Malik!”
Kayla steps up next to me, Teagan on the other side as we watch the
kids freeze for a second before jumping down off the windowsill,
where Maddox's bed is located.
“Kids,” Teagan murmurs.
Another contraction hits and I stagger backwards until I reach the
living room door, gripping the doorframe.
“Are you okay?” Kayla asks, rushing over to me.
I clutch my stomach, and suddenly, there is a pop, like someone
cracking their knuckles, before a gush of water bursts between my
legs.
“Oh fuck,” Teagan murmurs, skidding in the amniotic fluid. She
steadies herself, looks down, and grins. “I'll call Mason.”
I wave her off, pulling my phone out of my back pocket. “I got it,” I
assure her, dialling his number.
“I'll get everyone to leave,” Kayla assures me, and I nod, moving
through to the kitchen for privacy.
I breathe in, then out, crying out when the contraction hits, worse
than any of the others before. “Fuck!”
“Babe,” Mason answers.
Panting heavily, I reply. “My waters just broke, and I've been in
labour since yesterday afternoon.” No answer. “Mason, did you hear
me?”
“Fuck, shit, yeah, I'm-I'm coming.”
I end the call, gripping the phone tightly as I bend over the counter,
breathing through my contraction.
Teagan walks in, rubbing my lower back. “Do you need anything?”
“Just my husband,” I cry out as I wiggle my hips side to side, trying to
ease the pain.
There's a loud crash from outside, seconds before a thud. I glance to
Teagan, my eyes wide. “What the hell was that?”
“Let me check,” she murmurs, and goes to take a step towards the
door, but stops short when Mason comes barging in, falling into the
doorframe. He looks up, hair soaked, blood streaming from his nose
and the corner of his mouth.
“Mason, what on earth have you done?” I ask, seconds before
another contraction hits. “Argghhhh.”
“I'm going to get the bags. Yeah. The bags.” He spins around,
smacking into the door, and I don't need to ask again what he did to
get injured.
“I should have listened to Harlow,” I cry out, wanting to curl up in a
ball.
“I'm here. I'm here. I told you to—”
“Harlow, not now,” I yell, before bursting into tears. “My God, I'm
still leaking.”
“I'll go get you some joggers,” she mutters as she glances at the
wetness trickling down my legs, before rushing away. Moments
later, we hear her again. “Mason, her bag is bloody packed; it's in the
nursery. You need to get her to the hospital. You know it's not long
until she delivers now her waters have broken.”
“Shit, car seat,” he yells, seconds before we hear another thud.
“Fuck!”
“It's in the car,” Maverick yells from somewhere from close by.
“This is his third child, right?” Kayla asks.
“You'd think it's his first,” I hiss out, clutching my stomach.
“Right. Car,” Mason calls back.
Harlow comes rushing in, and with Teagan and Kayla's aid, they help
me into the pair of joggers Harlow brought down.
“I got you a top too,” she tells me, and begins to unzip my dress.
Maverick steps into the room, sees me half undressed, and then
turns, giving us his back. “He's just getting some spare stuff.”
I breathe heavily, the pain unbearable as I grip the counter. God,
why do I always forget the pain. Por quê?
Although I know it will be bittersweet once I get my baby boy into
my arms, it doesn't push aside the fact I'm in agony. It doesn't help
me remember that this pain does go away. Even the fact that this
will be my last time ever going through this doesn't help me. All I
want to do is curl up in a ball and plead for someone else to do this
for me.
Turning my head, I see Mason barrel down the stairs, dropping my
case at the bottom. I take one look at his face and his T-shirt, and
cringe. “Mason, you can't go to the hospital like that. It looks like
you've been in a scrap,” I screech, panting heavily. “Stop fucking
around and get me to the hospital where they have gas and air.”
"Eu sinto Muito. I'm sorry,” he bellows, racing back out of the room.
Kayla steps forward. “I've called ahead and let them know you are
on your way in. They are expecting you.”
I breathe out a sigh of relief. I forgot about calling the hospital.
“Thank you, Kayla.”
“Can we do anything?”
“Unless you want to deliver this baby for me, no,” I tell her, keeping
my voice soft, low. “My God, this hurts so much.”
“You are doing amazing,” Harlow tells me, but the look on her face
says otherwise.
“What's going on?”
“Um, your nan is helping with the kids and said she's going to get up
to the hospital as soon as they're asleep.”
“That could be hours.” I tilt my head, meeting her gaze. I reach out,
squeezing her hand in mine. “You have to come. I need you. I need
someone calm.”
She pushes my hair out of my face. “I won't leave you. I promise.
Best friends, remember?”
I sag into her embrace as Mason steps through the door again. “I've
changed. Now let's go.”
“You cannot be serious,” I tell him.
“Bro, you cannot wear that while she's giving birth,” Maverick
scolds.
He glances down at his T-shirt, and grimaces. It's the one Max
bought him that says, 'I'd rather be watching the Discovery channel.'
"Porra. I'll change.”
“Don't bother, we need to go,” I tell him, having that sense I'll need
to push soon.
Another contraction hits, and if it weren't for Harlow and Teagan, I
would have collapsed to the floor. This one is more powerful, more
intense. “I think I need to push.”
“God, don't push,” Mason yells.
“Stop yelling at me and get me to the damn hospital.”
“Right. Right.”
Taking pity on him, Harlow speaks up. “We'll help her get to the car.”
“Right. Car. Car.”
“Bro, get it together,” Maverick orders.
Nodding, Mason wordlessly picks up the bag and leaves. We follow,
me at such a slower pace. Kayla holds up the umbrella, protecting
me from getting soaked in the rain.
Reaching the garden, the others stick their head out of the door, or
out of the window. “Good luck!”
“I'm never doing this again,” I wail. “It hurts so much.”
“That's what you said the last time,” Max yells out of the top
bedroom window. “Lies!”
“F-you, Max,” I yell.
“Sheesh, only saying. You should mean it this time.”
I grit my teeth as we move down the side of the house, stopping
when another contraction hits.
“You've got this,” Harlow tells me.
“I don't. I really don't,” I declare, shaking my head in denial.
“Just a few more steps, then we are at the car,” she assures me.
The engine starts up and I look up to see Mason pull out, nearly
hitting the backend of the car in front. “What the actual fuck?” I
whisper.
“Fucking men,” Harlow bites out.
Maverick rubs the back of his head. “I'll go get my keys. He's
stressed. He doesn't like seeing you in pain.”
He leaves and Teagan glares after him. “Stressed,” she snorts. “He
should know. When I was in labour with Mark, he had the nerve to
ask me, whilst I was pushing, if it really hurt as bad as I made it
sound. I swear, my husband nearly never made it to see our son
born.”
“He left me,” I wheeze.
“He's just excited.”
“Harlow, he left me,” I bite out, gripping the gate as another
contraction hits. My scream echoes down the street, bouncing off the
houses.
“Got the keys,” Maverick calls just as a car comes to a screeching
stop outside.
“You left me,” I scream.
He races around the car, coming to a stop in front of me. "Eu sinto
Muito. So fucking sorry.”
I grip his biceps and lean into him. “Get me to the hospital.”
“How about I drive?” Maverick offers.
Mason nods and helps me get into the car, pushing in after me while
Harlow gets in the front. “I really am sorry. I'm just… I know this is
our last child. I want to make sure it's as memorable as it can be.
And I'm scared. Ciara's birth was traumatic. You broke three of my
fingers.”
I lean into him, placing my hand over his racing heart. “I love you,
Mason.”
“I love you too.”
With sweat running down my temples, my stomach contracting, and
a husband who nearly left me to give birth outside our house, this is
still one of the happiest moments of my life.
“Our family is about to be complete,” I exclaim, unable to hide the
happiness pouring from me.
He slides his hands over my jaw, cupping the side of my neck, below
my ear. “Yeah, babe, it is.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Jaxon

The car runs idly as I wait for it to heat up. The snow is heavier, the
air chillier, and instead of being inside with the love of my life, I'm
freezing my balls off to get my brother.
Reid has a lot to answer for. I know he doesn't do this shit
intentionally, but he needs to start making better life choices and
stop fucking around. We've outgrown the days when we go out on
benders constantly. Most of us just want a quiet drink at the pub,
then to go home for food and sleep. And honestly, for myself, all I
want to do when I finish work is get back to Lily. I feel like more and
more lately, I don't get to spend any quality time with her. It needs
to change, and for that to happen, the others need to get their act
together and stop relying on me to clean up their messes.
Mum is furious. She prides herself on spending time with family and
Christmas means a lot to her. It meant a lot to my dad that we were
all together, and she's made sure every year that we are. It's also
good for the twins, since they were so young when our dad died. It's
why she's livid right now. It's the first year we've all been separated.
Reid really has a lot to fucking answer for.
My fingers tighten around the leather steering wheel as I grit my
teeth. The frost has finally gone down, and I can leave, but I can't do
it.
I can't put the car into gear and drive away.
Even as I place my hand on the parking brake and grip it, I can't
release it.
Because Lily's inside, only a few metres away from the car.
Leaving her feels like a betrayal. I could see her worry and concern
for Reid when I explained the situation. I could hear her words came
from honesty because she has the purest of hearts. She cares about
my family. My brother. And she meant it when she told me to go.
Then why do I feel like this?
It still feels like a betrayal. A betrayal because I know how much this
day means to her, and I've left anyway.
I'm being pulled from two directions, and yet my heart, and head,
are telling me to stay with her, to tease her about the magic of
Christmas and how it's a farce just so she can keep trying to prove
me wrong. 'Cause I'll do anything to see that light in her eyes while
she does.
The only thing magical about Christmas is her, and one day, she'll
open her eyes, look in a mirror and see that for herself.
“Fucking hell, Reid,” I growl to the empty car.
I can't leave her. I can't do it.
I switch off the engine just as my phone rings again. I sigh,
answering it. “Yeah?”
“Bro, I've managed to Facetime him. He really does look like shit.
And sounds it. He's pale and sweaty and vomited whilst on the
phone. Mum's threatening to drive out there, she's that worried, and
two minutes before she was planning his murder.”
She can't drive out in this. It's too dangerous.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Tell her to sit tight. I'm on my way to
pick you up and then we can go get him. Hopefully we can get him in
to see a doctor.”
“See you in a few.”
I end the call, throwing the phone on the passenger seat. “Fuck!”
I rest my head back, closing my eyes. “Lily, please forgive me.”
Sitting up, I turn the key, switching the engine on, and with careful
ease, pull out of the space and onto the slick roads, praying like hell I
make it there in one piece.

*** *** ***

Jesus fucking Christ.

The snow has gotten worse, and although we are less than five
minutes from Reid's location, it's becoming a concern.
“Trust fucking Reid to pick the one year it snows to get sick and
hungover,” Wyatt mutters, peering through the windshield.
I need to get back to Lily. I can't think of anything else right now.
“Wyatt, are you sure you are going to be okay driving the van back in
this or do you want me to take it back and you two take the car?”
He waves me off. “Nah, I'll be fine. I've drove in the snow in it before.
Not like this. But at least there aren't many cars about.”
“It's a fucking shit storm out here.”
“Let's sort out Reid so you can get back to Lily. I know it's bothering
you.”
“I feel like shit that I've had to leave her there. She's been talking
about this day for weeks, and I feel like I've let her down.”
“Well, when we get back into town, I'll sort Reid out, and you head
back to Lily.”
“Are you sure?”
Ele concorda. “Yeah.”
“Thanks, bro.”
“Any time.”
“You probably won't be saying that if Reid is as sick as he says he is.”
He grunts. “Yeah, he's already fucked up my day with Evelyn.”
“She doing okay?”
“Yeah, she's getting there. It's hard for her. It's her first Christmas
without her mum. I took her to the grave this morning.”
“I remember the first Christmas without Dad. Mum was a mess. I
don't think we got Christmas dinner that day.”
“No, we didn't,” he mutters before clearing his throat. “Mum's
looking after her. And hopefully, we won't be much longer.”
“There he is,” I mutter, indicating to the left as I slowly pull over in
front of him, flicking on my hazards.
I get out of the car at the same time Reid jumps down from the van,
immediately vomiting all over the ground. It melts into the snow,
making an awful orange and yellow path.
He looks like death. His pale skin has a greyish tinge to it and sweat
is beaded at his temples and upper lip. Dark circles mar the skin
under his eyes, and the guy can barely stand straight.
“You okay?” I ask, gritting my teeth.
There is no way I can lay him out whilst he really is sick. If I thought
for a minute that it's just a hangover, he'd already be laid out in the
snow, out cold.
“Do I look okay?” he bites out, wiping his mouth with the back of his
sleeve.
I step closer and get a whiff of the alcohol. “Fucking hell, Reid. How
much did you drink last night?”
“Enough to not be able to drive home, but not enough to feel like
this,” he mutters, cursing as more vomit comes up.
“What the fuck did you eat?” Wyatt asks, taking a step back.
“I don't fucking know,” he heaves out. “This chick took me to an all-
style food restaurant. I think I've got food poisoning.”
“You owe us for this,” I warn him. “I've had to leave Lily, and you
know what today means to her. She told you whilst she decorated
our fucking office.”
"Eu sei. I know. And I'm sorry. Really fucking sorry.”
He does look it, but that could just be because he's feeling like shit.
Taking pity on him, I pull out the bottle of water from my coat
pocket. “Drink this. Wyatt is going to drive you back. Ok?"
“Yeah.”
I turn, ready to get back into the car, but he calls out to me. “Jaxon?”
“Yeah?” I call back.
“I really am fucking sorry. I never meant for this. I really didn't. And
I'll explain it to Lily and apologise to her.”
I give him a nod. “Oh, and you'll get extra work when you're better.
Not only for fucking up my Christmas, but for making me look like a
dick in front of the Carter's. You know I'm never going to hear the
end of this.”
He grimaces. “Shit.”
Yeah. Shit is the right word.
I head towards the car, wondering how I'm going to refrain from
punching one of them if they go on about it. It's not like I wanted to
leave. I had to. He's my brother. And each of them would do the
same for one of their own too.
I pick up my phone from the compartment between the seats and go
to ring Lily to let her know I'm on my way back.
It cuts off immediately, and I glance down at the phone.
No signal.
I throw it down between the seats, growling. This day started off
good.
Fucking Reid.
I pull out into the road once I see Wyatt flash the lights in the van.
Barely going fifteen, I head back towards home, the urge to get back
to her growing stronger.
Taking the second left, I come to a stop at a blocked road sign, and
quickly take the diverted route through the back lanes.
Fuck.
My windshield wipers are at full speed, the noise drowning out all of
the other sounds, including the radio, though that is only on low.
Coming to a small hill, I tighten my grip on my steering wheel,
hoping like heck Wyatt lowers his gears. My four by four can take it,
but I've never tested the vans in this weather.
I glance in the rereview mirror, only for a second to confirm he's
okay and managing to handle the van okay. He is.
I let out a breath, knowing I'll soon be back with Lily.
When my gaze goes back to the road, high-beamed lights are shining
into the car, almost blinding me. My pulse accelerates, beating out of
control as the red Ford on the other side of the road loses control,
their car spinning out and coming right for me.
And I know without a single doubt, we are going to collide.
There is no avoiding it.
Porra!
CHAPTER TWELVE
Lily

A sharp tug, like my insides are being pushed down, hits me in my

lower stomach, and I crouch over in the hallway, taking deep, easy
breaths.
Something is wrong.
I can feel it in my soul, in my heart, and I don't know whether it's the
baby, or because of the sinking feeling I have in the pit of my
stomach. I waddle down the stairs, towards the living room, needing
to talk to Mum about the cramps, because I no longer think they are
Braxton hicks. My nightmare plays over and over in my head,
Jaxon's words echoing in my head like someone yelling down a
tunnel.
'We'll get her back, Lily.'
That's what he told me in my dream.
I hit the bottom step as the living room door opens and Maddox
steps out into the hall, beaming at me.
I force my expression to stay neutral, not wanting to tip him off. He'll
only worry, and I don't want to ruin his Christmas. “Is everything
okay, Maddox?”
He jerks his head into a nod. “Yeah, I was just coming to find you.
Me, Amelia and the kids are going to head out early. The snow is
getting worse and it's a thirty-minute drive to her parents' house.”
I bite my lower lip as I glance towards the door, seeing the snow
outside through the small window. In a daze, I continue to stare at
the white flakes coming down thicker and swallow deeply. Jaxon is
out in that snow. “It's getting dangerous out there. Is it okay to drive
right now?”
“We're just leaving to take precautions. If it gets too bad, her parents
have said we can stay there.”
“Yeah,” I whisper, but I can feel the doubt in my voice. Jaxon hasn't
called or messaged me, and he left a while ago now.
He reaches out, rubbing my arm. “Hey, Jaxon will be fine if that's
who you're worried about. He's got a four-by-four.”
My shoulders drop and I give him a firm nod. “Please drive safely. I
don't want you getting hurt.”
“Course. I've got precious cargo on board.”
I smile and step into his embrace, needing his comfort. “Have I told
you lately how proud I am of you?”
He grins. “No, but it never hurts to hear it.”
“I'm really proud of you,” I tell him, unable to stop my smile
spreading. “And I'm happy for you. I love Amelia; she's great.”
“Yeah, I kind of love her too.”
I giggle, ducking my head. “I'm going to miss you,” I express. “It
won't be the same without you today.”
He taps me under the chin. “You'll do fine. Jaxon will be back soon.”
“He said he'll call me when he's on his way back, which he should be
by now,” I murmur, unable to keep the fear from my tone.
“He's probably taking his time because of the snow.”
Eu balanço minha cabeça. “I factored that in when Paisley said
where they are picking up Reid from.”
“It will be okay,” he assures me as he pulls me in for a hug.
“Hey, you ready to hit the road?” Amelia asks, stepping into the
hallway with us.
Maddox pulls back, grinning. "Sim. Is Jaz ready to pull herself away
from my dad?”
“She's still trying to talk him into coming. He nearly gave in twice,”
she announces, and I laugh.
“She loves him,” Maddox admits.
“They're all loveable,” I add in. “But she loves Malik.”
“You doing okay?” Amelia asks. “You're looking a little pale.”
I nod. “I—” My phone rings and I cut off what I'm about to say when
I see Reid's name on my screen. “Hello?”
“Lily, it's Reid,” he chokes out. I can barely hear him.
“Is everything okay?” I ask softly.
“It's Jaxon,” he tells me, and those words, those two words, have me
holding my breath.
“Lily, what's going on?” Maddox asks, stepping closer.
My gaze goes to the floor, the blood draining from my face as I focus
on Reid and what he's saying.
“We were on our way home,” he tells me, and I hear him take in a
breath, like he's fighting for words. “Lily, I'm sorry, Jaxon's been in
an accident. I'm so fucking sorry. He isn't—”
I stagger backwards as the line goes dead. My phone slips from my
fingers and blinding pain like I've never felt before explodes in my
head, like thick needles jamming into my skull. The room spins and
black dots appear in front of me. He didn't say the words, but I heard
them. I heard them as clear as I can hear Maddox.
“Lily,” Maddox yells, reaching for me.
I fall into his arms, and he somehow manages to hold me up.
Jaxon.
I can't breathe.
Amelia's voice is next. “I need you to breathe in and count to three,
Lily. Can you do that?”
Breathe.
Just breathe.
Millions of thoughts race through my mind, even as my body grows
weaker and my heart tears apart. My lips part, yet my scream is
silent.
This isn't how we end.
This isn't how our life together is meant to be. We have a future
planned and we are going to live it.
And that isn't going to happen if I lose him.
He has to be fine. He has to be.
And there's only one way for me to find out. I quickly dial his
number, my heart racing as I wait for the dial tone, but all I get is his
voicemail.
No.
The phone slips from my fingers, dropping to the carpet with a thud.
I can't stand here and do nothing. I have to get to him, to find him.
He has to be okay.
In a haste, I gently push through Maddox and Amelia, going to the
cupboard under the stairs.
“Lily, what are you doing?” Maddox calls out, and although I can feel
the weight of his hand on my shoulder, I don't feel it. I only feel the
cold that has seeped into my veins.
I shove on my boots and grab my jacket, my hands shaking the
entire time. A sharp cramp hits my lower abdomen, but I don't let it
deter me, even as a whimper slips free.
Maddox cuts in front of me, holding his hands up. “Wow, what do
you think you are doing?”
“Get out of my way,” I order, glancing at the door. I have to go find
him. Reid has to be lying.
I clutch the side of my head, squeezing my eyes closed for a moment.
'Lily, I'm sorry, Jaxon's been in an accident.'
His brows pinch together, and he watches me like I'm crazy. “You
aren't going out there.”
“Please, Maddox, move now. I don't have time for this. I have to get
to Jaxon.”
"Nã o. I'm not sure what is going on, Lily, but stop for a minute and
think. You are heavily pregnant. Do you want to put yourself or your
baby's life at risk by going out in that on your own, going God knows
where?”
“No,” I choke out, and quickly sidestep him, rushing into the living
room, where the noise deafens me.
Spotting Dad, who's standing near the bookshelf, Mum in front of
him drinking a glass of red wine, I wobble straight to him, ignoring
the tightening sensation in my stomach. They are all I can focus on
as I fight to stay conscious, as I fight to take my next breath.
It can't be true.
It can't.
'Lily, I'm sorry, Jaxon's been in an accident.'
I close my eyes as those words nearly threaten to cripple me.
The dread I woke up with in the pit of my stomach is back, and it has
brought along friends.
Dad pauses mid conversation as I approach, and his brows pucker
together. “Lily, are you okay?”
“Dad, I need to borrow your car.”
Her jerks his gaze over my shoulder before glancing down at me.
“Lily, what's going on?”
“I need your car keys. Where are they? Please.”
“Lily, what is going on? You can't drive in this weather.”
“I need those car keys,” I cry, stumbling forward and clinging to the
ends of his jumper. “Please, Dad. Please.”
“What's happened?” Mum asks someone.
“Reid called, but I never heard what was said on the other side,”
Maddox quickly answers. “She's trying to leave.”
Seeing my dad isn't going to give them to me, I rush over to Max and
Malik. “Max, I need your keys.”
“You need to tell us what's going on,” he demands softly, sitting up
from the sofa, and that's when I notice the room has fallen silent.
I turn to Malik, to find him alert, tense. “Malik, please, can I borrow
your car?”
“Lil, you need to talk us through what's happened.”
I run my fingers through my hair, glancing around the room in a
semi-circle, finding them all staring at me. “Please, I need to leave. I
have to get to him. I need to go now.”
“To Jaxon?” Dad asks. “Has something happened?”
'Lily, I'm sorry, Jaxon has been in an accident.'
“Please, someone, give me their keys,” I cry out, clutching my
stomach. “I don't ask for anything, but I'm asking for this. Please.
Please give me your keys. Please. I have to leave.”
Mum rushes to my side, one hand on my lower back, another taking
my hand. I clench my eyes shut as I take in a deep breath, needing to
cry out but too scared to make another sound.
“Honey, you need to sit down.”
“I need Jaxon, and I need him now,” I choke out.
“What did Reid say to you?” Maddox asks.
“J-Jaxon. Jaxon is. Jaxon—” I heave and collapse to my knees, crying
out. Sobs rake through my entire body, and the pain is like nothing
I've ever felt before. Every muscle, every fibre of my being, is strung
up tight.
“No, sweetie, no,” Mum whispers, pulling me to her chest.
I sob into her chest, clinging to her like it will make it all go away.
“I'll make some calls,” Maddox whispers, along with someone else.
“II can't be without him, Mum. I can't. I need him. We need him. I
need to find him. Reid has to be wrong.”
Mum pulls back, gripping my face. “What did Reid say to you? We
need to know.”
“He said Jaxon has been in accident,” I choke out. “H-he sounded so
broken, so hurt, and before the line went dead, he said, 'I'm so sorry.
He isn't'. I need to find him, Mum. I need to.”
“Let's get you up while we sort this out. I'm sure everything is fine.”
"Nã o é. I can feel it. I know something terrible has happened. If Jaxon
could have called me, he would have. He wouldn't let me worry,” I
tell her, as her and Dad lift me to my feet. “II can't—I can't breathe,” I
wheeze, clutching my dad when he pulls me against him. I rest my
forehead against his chest, gripping his biceps as a strong cramp
tightens my lower abdomen. I cry out, squeezing him until my
fingers turn white.
“Lily, sweetie, take a deep breath,” Dad soothes as I hear my mum's
voice direct everyone out of the room. “He's going to be okay, and
right now, I need you to concentrate on you and the baby.”
“It's all my fault. It's all my fault.”
“How is it your fault?” Dad asks.
I push back, seeing my uncles and Maddox stayed in the room, their
gazes on me. It chokes me, nearly pushing me to my knees. “I told
him to hurry back,” I shamefully admit. My voice breaks as I
continue. “I told him to hurry back.”
It's all my fault.
Mason takes a step towards me, but I place my hand up, warning
him away. “He hurried because of me.”
“You don't know what happened,” Mason tells me.
“II did this. I—”
“Lily,” Mum whispers.
“I'm everything she said I was,” I declare, panting heavily as I take
another step away.
“Who's she?”
“Her. I have her DNA. I hurt everyone around me.”
“You couldn't hurt a soul,” Myles remarks softly.
I nod, like it's all making sense. “I'm the reason Jaxon is, is, is—”
Pressure between my legs has me bent forward, clutching my
stomach as a cry slips free.
Water gushes between my legs and I glance up, locking gazes with
my mum. “No,” I whisper.
“Not again,” Max whimpers.
“Honey, we need to get you to a hospital.”
No, I can't. I need Jaxon. I… My dream flashes in my head and I
wheeze, stepping away. “I need to get to Jaxon.”
Dad takes a small step forward, like he's approaching a wounded
animal. “Lily, baby, right now, we need you to sit down and relax for
us. We are going to call you an ambulance.”
“I think we need to get her there now,” Mum whispers.
Papai balança a cabeça. “The roads are too bad. If we get stuck,
we've got no supplies and she'll be giving birth in the freezing cold.”
Eu balanço minha cabeça. “I'm not going anywhere unless it's to
Jaxon.”
“Honey, you are in labour,” she tells me, and I cry out as a
contraction hits, doubling over.
Tears stream down my cheeks, blinding me, and my heart is
shattered into a million tiny pieces.
“II need Jaxon,” I demand, letting Mum lower me to the sofa.
Malik kneels in front of me. “Madison is on the phone with Paisley,
while Eli and his brothers find out what's going on for us. Everything
is going to be okay.”
“You don't understand. Nã o é. I had a dream. I knew something bad
was going to happen.”
“You couldn't have known that,” Myles soothes.
“I'm not good enough. I've been waiting and waiting for someone to
take Jaxon away from me. He's too good for me. Too good. And I
knew… I knew I'd never be able to keep him. But I kept wishing. And
now, now she has what she wanted,” I rush out, screaming when
another contraction hits.
“They're sending an ambulance, but it's going to be a while,” Mum
announces.
Dad steps up behind Malik, his expression like thunder. “No, baby,
you're too good for him. You are too good for us.”
Max squeezes my shoulders from behind, leaning over the back of
the sofa. “You are the best of us, Lily Carter. Never forget that.”
“The strongest of us all,” Mason adds.
“With the purest soul,” Myles exclaims.
“And the biggest heart,” Malik finishes.
“Jaxon knows what he has, Lily. Which is why he didn't waste any
time marrying you or getting you pregnant,” Maddox admits.
I sniffle. “What do you mean?”
“Babe, it didn't happen by accident. He did that shit on purpose to tie
you to him forever.”
“No, he didn't.”
He forces a smile. “Yeah, babe, he did. He knows a good thing when
he sees it, but with you, he knew you were the world and never took
any chances. He gave you all of him because you gave him all of you.”
I crumble, breaking into heavy sobs. “I can't do this without him.”
“Yes, you can,” Dad declares, sitting down next to me.
“I can't. I can't do it.”
“Yes, you can, because Jaxon is going to be okay, you are going to be
okay, and the baby is going to be okay.”
“What if I can't do this? What if I'm alone and I… I'm not good
enough,” I choke out, just as my back arches off the sofa, and I cry
out in pain.
“You are good enough. And when the baby is born, you'll wonder
why you thought all of this. Then you'll have another, and all these
emotions, they'll come back, but you'll get through them.”
“You can't know that.”
“I can, because I went through something similar when Mark was
born and again the night Aiden was born.”
“You did?”
Ele concorda. “I did, and the best part of it all? The things that made
it all better? Well…”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
MAVERICK

All my life I've lived with a guilt so deeply rooted in me, it became a
part of me. It became a part of the choices I made, whether that be a
life choice or what I was going to have for dinner that night.
And it all boiled down to one thing:
I failed my brothers growing up. I failed them in a way that is
irreversible.
I can't rewind time, I can't change the past, and I can't make them
heal.
And it scared me. It scared me so much it kept me up most nights.
Now they are healing. I think from the moment we moved into my
grandpa's they began to slowly heal. And their other halves have
helped heal the rest, something I've always been truly grateful for.
Seeing them happy, thriving, I couldn't ask for anything else.
Teagan and Faith have done that for me. They've given me love I
never knew I needed. They've given me acceptance, even knowing
my past. They heal me in a way no one has ever been able to. And in
a way, they gave me a new identity, a new meaning, a new goal in
life.
Loving them has been as easy as breathing.
Our family has grown. First Lily, then Mark, and now baby Aiden. All
five of them are my life and I can't imagine my life without them in
it.
The guilt I have stupidly been carrying around all these years,
however, ebbed away the minute I heard the words: 'She's in
recovery.'
And I finally got to understand how my brothers moved on without
a backward glance. I finally understood what it meant to live and let
go of that last bit of guilt.
My past has always caught up with me, including the beginning of
mine and Teagan's relationship. I nearly lost both of them during the
fire because of it.
And the other night, I nearly lost Teagan.
And everything I have been feeling for years now hit me so hard I
got knocked on my arse. Not only because I nearly lost the love of
my life, my reason for breathing, but because my eyes were opened
to how I've been living my life. And one of those realisations is I've
been living in fear I'll fuck this up. Fuck up being a husband. Fuck up
being a father.
The second realisation is that I've been fathering my kids like I'm
walking on eggshells.
I love them with everything in me. I'll die for them. Kill for them if
they were ever harmed. But somewhere between Faith, and Lily
coming into our life, fear crept in and has held me back from really
enjoying it. Instead, I have been taking my role as a father seriously,
making sure they have everything they need, that they are always
safe, and I missed it.
I missed the other part of being a parent, the one that doesn't
involve worrying and being wary of every move you make. And
because of it, the laughter, the enjoyment, the pure bliss of being a
parent has gone over my head. I'll never get to look back on our
memories and think of the sound of their laughter, the brightness in
their eyes, or the milestones they took. Instead, all I'll see now is
how stressed and worried I have been.
I should have realised they can have it all. They can get all of me. The
concerned, overprotective, and serious dad, and the fun, loving,
easy-going dad.
It just took the doctor telling me that she's in recovery to open my
eyes to all of that. Now I feel like a weight has been lifted off my
shoulders, and I feel like I can finally breathe easier, which is
something I've not been able to do since we moved in together as a
family of four.
“You've been quiet,” Teagan points out as I pull up outside our
house, a house I'm glad I renovated to fit us all, including our other
family members, because we are growing at a rapid rate. “Is it
because I won't be able to have any more children?”
I shut off the car and turn to her, her mind-blowing beauty shining
back at me. Then her words hit me, and I reach out, taking her hand
in mine. “You've given me four beautiful kids, so no, baby.”
She sucks in her bottom lip. “Then what's wrong?”
I stare at her for a moment longer, my love for her overwhelming
me. It isn't just her beauty, it's her. She pulled me in years ago, and
I've made sure neither of us have let go since.
“I just realised how lucky I am to have met you, to have what we
have,” I admit, my throat tight with emotion.
She runs her hand across my jaw. “Babe,” she murmurs.
“I feel whole. I've always felt it with you, and, babe, no joke, you've
given me life, but a part of me has always carried unnecessary guilt.
For my brothers, for Lily, and for not finding her sooner. For
everything.”
“Babe, you aren't to blame for any of that,” she presses slowly.
“I know that now,” I concur softly. “I guess I've been letting the fear
of being a parent, of being like him, get to me. Then I saw how you
handled the birth, and, babe, I've never seen anything so powerful in
my life. You were… You were…” I run a hand across the stubble
along my jaw. “God, I've seen brave, I've seen strong, but, babe, you
were a warrior in there. And I could have lost you. I could have lost
you both, and it nearly killed me.” I take a moment to try and form
the next words in a way that doesn't make me sound like a selfish
dick, but no matter which way I put it, until it's explained, I'll
probably sound like a dick. “I would have had regrets.”
She winces as she sits up straighter, and I reach up, helping her as I
unclip her belt. “Regrets?”
I gently pull the belt away from her stomach before reaching up to
cup her jaw. I tilt her chin up until our gazes meet. “Yeah, regrets,” I
rasp as I lean in closer. “Regrets for not letting my shitty past go
when I have a beautiful future. Regrets for not seeing that sooner.
And regrets because you've given me the world, and, babe, it's my
turn to give you the world.”
“You've given me everything,” she rasps fiercely. “Never live with
those regrets, Mav. Not now, not ever.”
“I'll try,” I vow.
“Then no more regrets,” she whispers, leaning forward.
“No more regrets,” I agree, and lean forward, pressing my lips to
hers.
It's soft, slow, and intense. I kiss her like we have all the time in the
world. Because we do.
We do have all the time in the world.
She pulls back, letting out a breath, one which sounds more like
relief than anything. “I really thought it was because I can't give you
any more kids.”
“You've given me the world, and I'm sorry I made you feel like that,”
I tell her, pressing my lips to hers. “How are you feeling about it?”
She shrugs, turning her gaze to the front of the car. “I'm not sure. I'm
happy with our life, with our children, but we're still so young.” She
loses her focus for a moment before blinking out of it. “However, I've
been blessed with four beautiful children, and I can't complain about
that. They're all I could ever wish for. And it won't be long before
they are grown and they're giving us grandbabies,” she teases.
I narrow my gaze. "Nã o. I can't even handle the girls being at
school.”
She laughs, her entire face lighting up. “You've gone pale.”
“Of course I've gone pale. I don't want to think of my girls being
pregnant. Ever.”
Her expression softens. “Baby, they're going to grow up, they're
going to fall in love, and they're going to have a family of their own.
Don't you want that for them?”
I'll never admit it, but I do want it for them. I want them to succeed
in life, whether that be in their career or their social life. But they are
my babies and picturing a future where they aren't is too bleak to
imagine.
“I want them to have everything they ever dream of and more. They
deserve it all.”
Aiden begins to fuss in the backseat, and I grin at my wife. “You
excited to show the kids the new addition?”
She rolls her eyes. “He's not a toy,” she muses.
“No, but I wouldn't be surprised if the girls start putting him in their
dolls pushchairs. Wouldn't be the first time.”
Laughing, she pushes open the car door. “I think Max is still trying to
get over Faith mothering Liam and Landon. I swear, when she came
in with them in her dolls pushchair, he looked seconds away from
passing out.”
Eu rio. “Don't move. Let me get Aiden inside with Joan, then I'll come
and help you out.”
She waves me off. “I'm fine as long as I go slow. And before you start,
I'll go straight to the sofa to rest. The door isn't that far away.”
I sigh, glancing up at the house. The lights are off upstairs, which
means the kids are probably asleep in bed, but the lights downstairs
are blaring.
“Teagan,” I warn.
“Stop fighting me. I want to see my girls, and my boy, and arguing
about this is delaying it.”
I sigh. “Alright, but I'll rush back so don't try to rush up there.”
“Okay,” she promises.
I swing out of the car and move around to the back, pulling open the
door. Aiden, only days old now, is awake in his seat, his expression
scrunched up in a way that lets me know he's stuck in the middle of
curiosity and wailing. My money is on wailing because Mark used to
have the exact same expression before he finally settled on crying.
I hook the handle over my arm and lift him out. He doesn't make a
peep as the cool air hits his face, nor when I slam the door shut
behind me or when the seat jerks as I rush up to the house.
Joan is at the door, holding it open. “Welcome home,” she greets.
I quickly kiss her cheek and lower the car seat to the floor. “I'm just
going to help Teagan.”
“Go, go,” she orders, her focus already on baby Aiden.
Teagan sighs when she spots me. “You really didn't have to come
back.”
Eu sorrio. “If I didn't think it would hurt more, I'd have you up in my
arms, babe.”
She links her arm through mine. “I love you, Maverick Carter.”
“I love you too, Teagan Carter.”
We reach the front door as a shriek so loud echoes off the walls, all
the way from upstairs.
I quickly help Teagan through the door, needing to get to Lily.
“Maverick, before you go, there's something you should know.” I
pause on the bottom of the stairs at Joan's declaration, but my
attention is on Lily calling out for help. I need to get to her. “They
have been worse than ever since you've both been gone. Just like
last time,” Joan whispers.
And she means when Mark was born. It was our first time away
from home without the girls, and Lily freaked. In the end, they had to
bring her to the hospital, but this time, they couldn't since Teagan
wasn't in a good way.
“Let me go,” Teagan offers, taking a step towards me.
“I'll bring her down,” I promise, holding my hand out. “Please, take it
easy and go rest.”
She nods and I turn, taking the stairs two at a time. Lily's shrieks
turn into whimpers of pain, the sound tearing my heart apart.
I push open her door fully and step inside the dimly lit room. I
glance to Faith's bed, noticing the sheets rumpled and the bed
empty. She must have woken up before and went downstairs.
I sit on the edge of Lily's bed, and from experience, I know waking
her isn't an option, so I gently lift her into my arms, rocking her back
and forth.
“It's okay. It's okay now. Daddy's home,” I soothe.
She whimpers in her sleep, stirring, but doesn't wake up from the
nightmare haunting her. Instead, her hand seeks me out and grips
my jacket.
Lily had been my sister for two days. Two days. The first day was the
day I first met her. The second day was our first visitation visit. It
was during that visit that I knew I didn't want her to be my sister.
Wounded and traumatised from what our bitch of a mother had
done to her, I knew she needed more than a brother. She needed a
mum and a dad, so it's what I gave her. It's what Teagan gave her.
It hasn't all been smooth sailing, but I never made the decision to
adopt her thinking it would be. And I don't regret a moment of it.
Seeing life through her eyes has been something I'll forever cherish.
And although I'll never be able to take away her nightmares or
memories, I can do everything in my power to give her new ones to
chase them away.
I'll do anything to make them stop for her. Anything. I hate that she
suffers. But one day, one day they'll be a day when she doesn't get
them anymore, a day when all she has suffered and all she's endured
will become nothing but a distant memory. And until that day
comes, I'll remind her every day how strong she is, how loved she is.
“Daddy?” she wheezes, trying to sit up. “Daddy?”
“Lily, it's me. It's okay. It's me.”
“You came back,” she cries, throwing her hands around my neck. Her
blonde hair falls in waves down her back, and I run my fingers
through it as she sobs into my chest.
“Hey, I'll always come back to you.”
She clings to me tighter. “She was telling me no one else wanted me.”
I tense, clinging to her tighter. “She lied. I can't imagine a world
where anyone didn't want you in their life Lily.”
She pulls back, her lower lip trembling. She tries to compose herself
but fails.
My girl.
My sweet, sweet girl.
She places her hand above her heart. “It hurts here. I thought you
left me.”
I duck my head to meet her gaze. “You'll never be rid of me, Lily.
Sempre. You are mine, remember?”
She nods as she wipes her nose with the sleeve of her pyjama top.
“And you are mine.”
I pull her against my chest. “Yeah, princess, I am.”
“Is Mummy and baby Aiden home too?”
“Yeah, and she's waiting downstairs so her baby girl can meet her
brother.”
She pulls back, a small smile tugging at her lips. “He'll be mine too.
She can't take him either, right?”
“No, baby, she won't because she's never coming back. She'll never
hurt you ever again. I promise you.”
“You really, really promise?”
“I really promise.”
She grips my top tighter. “Because I don't want to leave. I don't want
you to leave. You're the best daddy in the world and I love you so
much. I love all of you. You make here,” she declares, tapping her
chest above her heart as tears stream down her cheeks. “You make it
stop hurting.”
“Princess,” I choke out, gripping her tightly.
If there are any doubts subconsciously lingering, there aren't now.
Those words.
She took my heart with those words, and like a balm, they filled in
the broken cracks.
“She tells me in my dreams that she'll take me away, and sometimes,
she tells me you want me to leave.”
I sit her up and duck my chin. “Lily, they are just nightmares. They
don't mean anything.”
“I want them to stop.”
“One day, Lily, they will,” I promise. “Now, do you want to come
downstairs and meet your new brother and see your mum, because
I know she's worried about you.”
“Yes,” she tells me, her tone brighter, yet her expression is still glum.
I lift her into my arms as I stand and make my way downstairs.
Chatter from the living room leads us there, where my wife and our
daughter Faith are resting on the sofa, baby Aiden in Faith's arms.
“His face is all mushy,” Faith declares, and my shoulders shake with
laughter.
At the sound, Teagan's head pops up, and a smile tugs at her lips as
she stares at Lily. “Are you okay, princess?”
Lily nods. “Are you better now?”
“I'm getting there, sweetie.”
I lower Lily to the floor, and she rushes over to her mum. “Good,
because I really, really missed you.”
“I've missed you too,” Teagan soothes, pulling her in for a hug. “You
ready to meet your baby brother?”
Lily nods and climbs up onto the sofa next to Teagan. When I see her
reach for Aiden, I step in. “I'll do it.”
She sits back and I gently take Aiden from Faith, kissing her on the
head. “Hope you've been a good girl for Nanny Joan.”
“I've been the best.”
I wink. "Bom."
Taking the seat next to Lily, I watch as her gaze locks onto Aiden's.
She stretches her arms out, attentively reaching to touch his foot.
“He's so small.”
“Want to hold?”
At her nod, I gently place him in her arms. She sucks in a breath,
staring at her brother. “I promise to be the best big sister, just like
Faith,” she declares in awe.
“Of course we will, duh,” Faith announces, giggling.
Lily's eyes lock with mine. “It's stopped hurting again, Daddy.”
I struggle to swallow past the lump in my throat. I can't form a word,
my lips tightening as those words penetrate.
She means the ache in her heart, the one she explained to me earlier.
I watch her glance down at her brother, a smile on her face.
I may have been afraid of my father, but my children will never need
to be afraid of me, because I'll make sure no harm ever comes to
them.
I'll make sure her heart never aches again, and hope she keeps
smiling through life.
For all my kids.
Because family is everything.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Lily

My dad; always the protector. It's one of the reasons I love him so
much. He's trying to take my mind off Jaxon, off my waters breaking
and going into labour, and it's sort of working.
My dad has always been mindful with words, and strong with his
actions. You know when he's mad or when he's happy. You know
when he's disappointed, or when he's proud. But most of all, you
know without words that he loves you. He has shown me every day
just how much, and not a day has gone by where he hasn't. But
hearing those words, those thoughts and feelings he had before he
even knew how I would grow up, it shook me to my core.
He always believed in me.
And he never stopped.
Sweat drips down my temple, down my spine, and even as I cry out
through another contraction, my mind can only focus on him, on his
words, and on the memory I had somehow almost forgotten.
I don't remember all of what he told me, but I do remember the ache
in my chest, the one that slowly faded away until I finally forgot it
ever existed. He did what he promised he would do and made sure it
never came back.
Well, until now.
Now my heart aches, but for an entirely different reason.
Jaxon.
What if he is gone? He'll never get to meet his son or daughter. He'll
never watch them grow. I'll never be able to walk this life without
him. I'll fail. He keeps telling me I make him a better man, but he's
wrong. He's already a good man. It's him who makes me better. He
gives me life. He gives me hope.
And right now, more than anything, I have to hope he's okay. I have
to hope life wouldn't be this cruel and take away a good man, a great
husband, and someone who is going to make a fantastic father.
“So, you see, everything will be alright in the end,” Dad tells me. “It
will be. I promise.”
“You said you nearly lost Mum,” I question, but it comes out more as
a statement.
"Sim. There were complications with the pregnancy, and she had to
be rushed into surgery.”
My heart aches knowing they both had to go through that, but I'm
glad they got through it.
“Sweetie, everything is going to be okay,” Mum assures me.
I clench my fingers around the cushion beneath me, refusing to
believe her. “Mum, I'm not Dad. I'm not strong enough. I'm not… I
can't live without him. I can't. I—” My chin hits my chest as another
contraction hits, this one stronger than the last. It hurts. Everywhere
hurts. Whoever said a contraction is just like a painful period cramp,
lied. I can't imagine anything hurting as much as this.
“Where is the goddamn ambulance?” Mum hisses.
I whimper, gripping Mum's hand, thinking she's going to leave.
“Mum.”
“I'm not going anywhere, sweetie. I promise,” she assures me.
“It hurts so much,” I cry out.
“I'll call them back,” Myles quickly offers as he pulls out his phone.
“No, I'll step out and call them,” Max argues.
“No, Max, stay here,” Myles orders, glowering at his brother. “Lily
needs you.”
Max forces a wide smile at me before turning back to Myles. “I'd
rather call the ambulance. I'll be more persuasive than you. You're a
pushover.”
“No, you'll put them off from coming here,” Myles amends. “It's best
you leave it to the adults.”
Myles walks out without waiting for him to reply. Dejected, Max
turns back to the room. “Well, I guess I'll go keep everyone informed
and make sure no one is eating the food.”
“You can't leave. You can't,” I plead.
“Fuck!” he hisses, sitting on the edge of the sofa.
Mum strokes my hair out of my face. “Sweet, sweet, girl,” she
soothes.
I lean into her, clutching her cardigan. My shoulders shake with my
sobs. “It's meant to be a happy day. It's meant to be a day where the
magic happens. I'm so, so, so stupid.”
“You aren't stupid.”
“Mum,” I cry, my stomach tightening. “Something is wrong. It hurts
so much.”
Maddox kneels down in front of me, gripping my knees. “I've been
here before, Lil, and I promise you, it does go away. Remember, I
told you about all the screaming Amelia did? Well, it stopped after.”
“Maddox, I need Jaxon,” I plead through pants. “I can't do this
without him.”
“You can, Lily. You've got us.”
Sobs burn my chest. “It's not the same. I can't… I can't do this
without him.”
“Yes, Lily, you can. You can do anything when you put your mind to
it. You are one of the strongest people I know. And I need you to be
strong right now. I need you to be strong a little while longer. Jaxon
is going to be okay. If he's never died from Landon landing a punch
to the temple, no accident is going to take him out.”
I nod, squeezing Mum's hand as my entire body tenses. This one
lasts a little longer, and my head begins to throb from straining. “I
don't know h-how to be strong.”
He clucks his tongue. “Lily, you've been strong since the very
moment you were born. With everything you endured, you had no
other choice. I may not remember much from when we were little,
but what I do remember is that you always amazed me. Then I got
older and understood what the nightmares were, what your
episodes were about, and I swear to you, Lily, I swear I promised to
do everything in my power to protect you, that you would no longer
need to be brave, that you no longer had to be strong. I wanted you
to just live a life where those things never played a part of your life
again. And I know I fucked up last year—fuck do I know it—but I'm
telling you, Lily, we'll get you through this too. You'll get through it.”
I sit forward through my discomfort, gripping his hands on my
knees. “Maddox, I can't lose him.”
He reaches up, pressing his lips to my forehead. “You won't, but if
you do, you've got us. You've got your baby.”
“It's all my fault.”
“It's not.”
I firmly shake my head. “It is. I had a dream, Maddox. I knew
something bad was going to happen, I could feel it, but I ignored it
because I saw the snow, because it's Christmas Day, and because I
wanted to make this day perfect for him.”
“It's just a dream,” he soothes. “Just a dream.”
“You d-don't understand,” I wheeze, clenching my eyes shut as a
wave of pain hits me, keeping me prisoner in my own head as I tried
to breathe through it. “S-she, she was there, Maddox. In my dream. II
think it was a warning that something bad was going to happen to
Jaxon and to my baby.”
“No, sweetie, no,” Mum rushes out. “Everything is going to be fine.”
My breath hitches. “He told me he'll get our baby back. He told me.
He was warning me.”
“Baby, it's just a dream.”
I clench my eyes shut as the dream plays out in my mind, and
Jaxon's warning comes back.
'When the time comes, don't wait.'
'But I need you to promise me that when the baby comes, you'll tell
me.'
“I have to call him. My phone,” I rush out, trying to get up, but Mum
lightly pushes me back down.
“What's going on?” Dad calls, pulling the phone away from his ear.
“I need my phone. I dropped it.”
Myles walks in, holding the phone. “I've got it.”
He passes it to me, and I dial Jaxon's number as Mum asks, “How
long are they going to be?”
“They are going to be a while. The gritter hasn't gotten to all the
main roads yet so they are finding it hard to get through some
roads.”
“Shit,” she hisses.
Jaxon's voicemail answers. “You've reached Jaxon Hayes. Please
leave your name and number after the beep.”
Beep.
I swallow past my fear as I leave him a message. “Jaxon, it's Lily.
Reid, he called me. He said…” I close my eyes, letting the tears fall.
“You need to be okay. You need to come home. Our baby is coming.
She or he is coming, and I need you to be here. I need you to be okay.
I love you, Jaxon. I love you so much. My—”
“To rerecord your message, press one, otherwise, please hang up.”
I hang up, and tears fall onto the screen as I stare down at the
picture of Jaxon and I cuddled together on our honeymoon. “This
can't be how we end.”
Max slides his arse onto the sofa next to me and takes my hand. “It's
not, because us Carter's, we get our happily ever after. We fucking
deserve them. You more than any of us fuckers. I can't believe we get
ours after everything we went through, and you don't.”
“He's right, Lily,” Malik rumbles. “I'm not religious, though I'm also
not an atheist.”
“Why not just say you're agnostic?” Max mutters.
Malik gives him a death glare, but his expression softens when he
turns back to me. “But if there is a higher being, I can't see them
being this cruel. Not to you. And I know, I know, we aren't
guaranteed happiness, but, girl, however it works, however it
happens, whether it's luck, God, or just life, you've done everything
to deserve a happy ending.”
“I'm scared. I'm so scared,” I choke out.
“I know you are. But we aren't. We aren't worried one little bit. Not
about Jaxon, not about the labour, and not about the ambulance
turning up before Max passes out from watching you give birth. We
aren't worried about any of it. Does that help?”
The part about Max seems like a lie.
But it does help that they aren't worried. Just a little.
“A little,” I reply softly.
“It's going to be okay,” he promises.
Hayden steps into the room, sending me a sheepish smile. “Hey, is it
okay for me to come in?”
My gaze locks on the phone in her hand. “Did you get through to
him?”
She grimaces, shaking her head. “Paisley is on the line. She's with
her mum and brothers. They're trying to get a hold of one of them.
Charlotte and the others are calling around to see if anyone knows
anything.”
She isn't telling me something. “Please, tell me whatever it is you're
hiding.” Her gaze goes briefly to Mum, a silent question going
between them. “Don't do that. Please, Hayden, tell me.”
She lets out a sigh. “The dispatch talking to Drew has confirmed
there has been an accident. There's, um, there are a few casualties
with minor injuries.”
“That's good, that means Jaxon is okay,” I cheer, a relieved smile
tugging at my lips. “He's okay, Mum. He's okay. Just a little hurt.”
Her fingers tighten around mine. “I don't think that's all Hayden has
to say,” Mum mutters.
I turn back to Hayden, seeing Mum is right. Her expression drops
and she can barely look at me. "O que?" I whisper brokenly.
“Babe, she said there's, um, there's one deceased at the scene, but
they don't have anything more than that.”
No.
No. It can't be.
Reid said… Hayden said… But I didn't want to believe.
I struggle as I get up off the sofa, ignoring Mum. “No,” I gasp.
“Lily,” Hayden calls, her voice broken.
“No!” I scream. “No!”
I push through my uncles and Maddox, heading for the front door.
“Lily, where are you going?” Dad calls.
I ignore him too, pulling open the front door. He slides in front of
me, blocking my path. “Move, Dad.”
“No, princess.”
I clutch my stomach, as I cry out. “Dad, move out of my way. I need
to find him. He has to be okay.”
I let them talk me into thinking Jaxon was okay.
They gave me hope.
“Honey, you are in labour. You need to lie down,” Dad warns.
“No, I need to go to my husband. I need you…I need you to…” A
scream tears from my throat as I drop forward. Dad catches me and
I squeeze his biceps with the sudden urge to bear down.
No.
Jaxon, come back to me.
“Lily, what's going on?” Mum panics, pressing her hand on my lower
back.
“I—oh God, I think I need to push.”
There's a thud behind me and I quickly glance back to find Max on
the floor, unconscious. Hayden glances down at him, rolling her
eyes. “Weak,” she mutters.
“Okay, we need to get you into the living room. The ambulance
should be here soon, and you don't need to be going up and down
those stairs in your condition,” Mum orders. “Myles, go get the spare
blanket out of the boiler room. And a few towels.”
“Mum,” I cry out, my knees buckling, but she's there, helping me,
Dad on the other side. “I need to get to Jaxon.”
Mum wipes under her eyes, sniffling. “One thing at a time, princess.
First, let's get you settled.”
“I can't do this without him,” I cry out as I begin to shiver from the
cold. “Please, let me find him.”
She soothes my hair back and lifts my chin with her other hand.
“Baby, I know you are upset, I know you want to get to him, and if I
was in your position, I'd do anything to get to your father. But right
now, we need to deliver this baby. He or she isn't waiting for
anyone.”
“Listen to your mum,” Dad warns as he turns me, guiding me back
into the living room. “When Jaxon gets here, you want him to hear
about all the good parts he missed, not all of this.”
“You heard Hayden,” I point out.
“I did. I heard her loud and clear, and not once did she mention
Jaxon. It could be anyone. We won't know until we get through to
the others. Reid is okay. You spoke to him, so you know he's okay.
It's only a matter of time before he calls his family and we'll know
what's going on. Stay positive, princess, and let's get you laid down.”
Hope blossoms in my chest. “It's Christmas. It's when the magic
happens.”
Max groans. “Nothing magical about birth. It's all fucking lies.”
“Max,” Mum hisses.
“It's fucking true, which is why I'll stay over here and not get in the
way.”
Myles drops the blanket on the floor, then drops pillows on one end
of the room so I'm facing the fireplace. “Privacy,” he informs me as
Mum helps me out of my coat before lowering me to the floor.
“If he's okay, he's going to miss it all. He kept worrying that he was
going to miss it,” I tell Mum, as my back arches off the floor, my
entire body tightening with a contraction.
“Get me a cold flannel,” Mum orders to someone behind us, and I lie
back, panting heavily. “Lily, we need to take off your tights. Are you
okay with that?”
I whimper. “Not until Jaxon is here. He can't miss it.”
“Honey, I don't want to scare you, but Jaxon might not make it in
time, or at all,” she explains, squeezing my hand.
I shake my head from side to side, the pain in my heart unbearable.
“II can't do this.”
“Yes, you can,” Dad orders. “And you can because you're a Carter.”
“She's legally a Hayes,” Hayden pipes in.
“Not helping,” Max snaps.
“Like you are a ton of help.”
“Please, princess, let your mum help,” Dad softly demands.
“I'm scared. I'm so scared and it hurts so much,” I choke out.
Suddenly, Faith is kneeling down beside me, clutching my hand.
“You've got this, Lily. You are going to let Mum help. I'll be here. I'm
not leaving you. None of us are leaving you.”
“B-but, but Jaxon.”
She drops her head to mine, closing her eyes, but I see the flash of
pain. “He'll be here. He will. And when he is, he's going to want to
know what he missed. And you will tell him.”
“She's right. We've all got our birthing stories. Some were scary,
some were downright beautiful, but we've all got them. We all share
them,” Dad soothes.
“He's right,” Malik calls out. “I mean, you should hear about Trent's
birth. It went from bad to worse, and all because of Max, but then it
got better. So much better. So, it might seem bad now, but it will get
better.”
"O que aconteceu?" I breathe out.
“Well…”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
MALIK

Fucking Max.
All I wanted to do was go and get Harlow some more Creme Eggs
from the supermarket. That's it. One simple task.
It didn't take finesse, rocket science or even skill.
Until fucking Max.
Harlow has been craving Creme Eggs throughout the entire
pregnancy. However, only certain shops sell them now and they are
getting harder and harder to find. So, when Max ate the last two in
her stash, she went ape shit.
Then went ballistic at me because I didn't notice he had eaten them
—even though we were in the same room.
In my defence, my mind has been on nothing but my wife for weeks
now. This pregnancy has been nothing like her last pregnancy with
the twins. She's weak more often, tired more often, and snappy
more often. Her hormones are so up and down I never know where I
stand. I can't do right, no matter what I do. And I know a lot of it has
to do with the fact that she's scared. The twins are nearly four, and
with her university course and working part-time, she's been
worried about how she'll do it, forgetting she isn't alone. I guess this
is something mothers go through, as do fathers, since I've had the
same hang-ups.
Those fears, however, have manifested, and all of her pregnancy
hormones along with them; heightening everything that is
happening.
She's never mean—she doesn't know how to be. She's just tired,
confused, and honestly, at this stage, fed up. She's thirteen days
overdue and has her inducement booked in for three days' time.
But my wife is suffering and there's nothing I can do about it.
Her breakdowns are tearing me apart. The other day she started
crying because we had no pepper, so I ran out and quickly grabbed
some from the corner shop. The second I handed it over to her she
burst into hysterics, getting so worked up we had to put her up to
bed so she could lie down. And that is only one of her grateful
outbursts.
Her blood pressure is low—extremely low—and I'm worried. I'm
concerned about my wife.
And now I can't even be with my wife because Max got me kicked
out of my own home for eating the only thing that has given her
comfort.
To make matters worse, I had planned to go back and grovel with
boxes of Creme Eggs. I know how hard it's been for her, especially
with her being overdue, and I just want to make it better.
However, that isn't going to fucking plan.
Fucking Max.
Max got kicked out of his own house when he went to the triplets'
defence. He high-fived the little rugrats whilst Lake was trying to
discipline them. Lake has tried everything to get into a routine, to
get some much-needed R and R, but the triplets are hellions and
have other plans for their mum. So, she has been sending them to
private day cares. And each one has ended the same—with the
owners calling for Lake to go get the triplets. This is the last day care
in our area and today, they got kicked out. And from what Max said,
they aren't allowed back there under any circumstances.
Max being Max, didn't try to talk to his three infants, and instead
high-fived the little rugrats. Lake lost it and told Max to go to the
shop to get her some tampons and to take his time doing it—clearly
needing a break.
Which would have been fine had he not come to mine first, pissed
my wife off, and got us both kicked out of our homes.
If none of that happened, I wouldn't be here right now. Because,
even at his age, even after the last incident, Max still couldn't buy his
own wife tampons, and his reasons were because everything down
under changes after the birth of a child—whatever that means.
So, after picking up a box of each size, a multi pack, he then hid them
under his jacket, not wanting to get seen with them. And instead of
explaining any of that to the security guard who had been following
us, Max started yelling about how the shop was being
discriminative. So, after security spent twenty-minutes chasing him
around the shop, the police arrived, and we were both taken in so
they could fill out an incident report.
Which is where we are now. A police station. When I should be at
home with my wife.
Max gives me a sideward glance as he drums his fingers against the
arm of his chair. “Bro, I said I'm sorry.”
I slam my fist against the table. “Max, you are always sorry. You've
got fucking triplets now. You are married, for fuck's sake. When are
you going to grow up? I need to be in the police station like I need a
knife to my gut. I should be at home with Harlow.”
“Fuck, I said I'm sorry. It's not like she won't forgive you. She loves
me. I'll have a word with her for you. I promise it will be the first
thing I do once we get out of here.”
I grit my teeth so hard I swear I hear one crack. “No, you won't.”
“Bro—”
“Don't,” I bite out, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Just don't. I'll
never understand why you do the things you do, so don't try to
explain.”
“Only Lake understands me, and even she's in a mood with me right
now.”
“Can you blame her? You high-fived your kids for stealing every
kid's lunch box and eating the contents.”
“Yeah, because they proved they can provide for themselves,” he
argues. “I'm a proud father.”
“And the care worker? How about what she went through?”
“Let's not talk about that,” he mutters, dropping his elbow onto the
table as he leans in closer. “I want my kids to be free to do whatever
the fuck they want. Is that so wrong?”
“It is when their mum is at her wits end.”
His brows bunch together. “She's at her wits end?”
I give him the side-eye. “Clue in, Max. She's exhausted. The triplets
give her the run around twenty-four-seven.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I just want to give them what we
didn't have.”
I give in, needing to know what he means—or try to understand
what he means. “What are you going on about?”
He locks his fingers behind his head, swinging back on the chair. “I
want them to feel safe enough to spill a drink on the floor, to eat the
last chocolate bar, to ruin their dad's trainers or their mum's shoes.”
“And to set their carer's desk on fire?”
The front legs of his chair drop to the floor with a thud as he points a
finger at me, glaring. “That was an accident, and you know it.”
“Bro, they were screaming, 'bigger' and 'pretty' whilst clapping their
hands,” I mutter.
“Whatever.”
“It still doesn't excuse all of this,” I point out, gesturing to the
integration room.
He sags over the table. “Because parenting is hard. I'm stressed that
my wife is stressed. And when I'm stressed, I do stupid shit. Fucking
sue me.”
“Yeah, I got that,” I snap.
PC Lankan steps into the room, scratching the back of his head. The
female officer, PC Dylan, ducks her head, hiding her amusement. I
guess Max really made a first impression on her. PC Lankan has
dealt with us a few times before, which is why when he first arrived
at the supermarket, he tried to get back in his car and leave.
“Am I arrested?” Max demands. “Because I want this on record. I
wasn't stealing them. Why would I? I'm a guy and I have no use for
them. And even if someone did try to steal sanitary products, it's not
like it's the end of the world. If someone is desperate enough to risk
being caught stealing them, then they need them and should be
given them anyway. I don't—"
Lankan hooks his thumb into his belt. “You don't have to explain.
Again,” he tells him. “One of the shift managers turned up as we
were getting you into the car. She explained you are a regular and a
bit weird to the security guy and that you meant no harm.”
“I'm not weird,” Max defends, turning to me. He jabs his thumb at
the officer. “He thinks I'm weird.”
I narrow my gaze. “You are weird,” I mutter.
“Anyway, they won't be pressing charges and they have your stuff
on the side ready for you to pick up. Once you've paid,” PC Dylan
explains.
“Like I'm going to take my hard-earned cash there again,” Max
snaps, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Max, it's the only supermarket you are allowed in,” I remind him.
“Do you really want to piss Lake off more?”
He huffs out a breath. “Then I guess I'll go pay for it.”
“Thank God,” I mutter. “Now, can we go?”
Lankan lets out a relieved breath. “Yes, you are free to go.”
I push back and pick my phone up off the table. We were made to
turn it off once we got into the interview room. I switch it on, and
immediately, dozens of messages and missed calls come flooding in.
“Shit!”
“I'll escort you out,” PC Dylan offers.
“I'm telling you, it's discrimination. My wife will be complaining to
the executives about this,” Max rants.
I tune him out, dialling Harlow's number, listening to it ring out.
“Seriously, Max, you're in here again?” PC Denmark retorts, a police
officer who we've become very acquainted with over the years.
I quickly flick my gaze in PC Denmark's direction to see him staring
Max down with disappointment.
Max throws his hands up before slapping them down at his sides as
he looks to the heavens. “I went out for some goddamn tampons.
That's it.”
“Sheesh, calm down,” PC Demark orders, grimacing.
“Come on,” I fret, hearing the phone begin to ring once again.
“Malik,” Harlow screams down the line, and every fibre of my being
tenses, and I go on alert.
“Harlow,” I call out, hearing her heavy breaths. “Harlow, talk to me.”
"Tudo certo?" PC Dylan asks.
I ignore her, focusing on Harlow. “Where are you? I've been calling
you for an hour.”
“Babe, what's going on? Did you fall? What's going on?”
“Where are you?” she bites out, and I hear Joan telling her to calm
down.
“I won't calm down, Gran, not until he tells me what's so important
he couldn't answer the bloody phone when I call him.”
Fuck!
I look up, glaring at Max. “Sorry,” he mouths.
My shoulders slump as I answer. “I'm at the police station.”
I wince at her howl of pain. “Why a-are you at the police station?”
she bites out, and my stomach bottoms out at her tone.
“Shit!”
“Malik!” she cries.
“Max got us taken in,” I rush out as Max grimaces, taking a step back.
“Now, please, where are you?”
“I'm in fucking labour and you are at the police station?”
Shit!
My legs move into a run, and I push through the double doors, even
as the officer behind me yells something. Just as the cool breeze
blows over my face, something solid smashes into my abdomen, and
before I can catch myself, I go over the railing, landing with a thud
on the grass below.
What the fuck?
My phone lands beside me, and I can hear the tortured cry of my
wife as Joan tries to soothe her.
“Harlow,” I wheeze, lifting the phone to my ear. “I'm coming.”
“You'd bloody better be, and you tell Max that I am going to kill him,”
she warns, rattling off the hospital address. “I swear, Malik, if you
miss this birth, I am going to kill you, because this is the last time I'm
doing it. I mean it this time.”
“I won't, I promise,” I assure her, but the line is dead before I can
finish my sentence.
I glance up at Max as he stares down at me lying on the grass. “She's
in labour, isn't she?”
“Yes, you dick, and I might not make it,” I grit out, then jump to my
feet, wiping the dirt off my legs. I turn, walking right into a
streetlamp. “For fuck's sake.”
“Language,” Max hisses.
I turn, ready to kill him, when the police officer steps between us.
“Where do you need to go?”
I rattle off the hospital address. “But my car is at the supermarket.”
“Um, why don't I take you, so you make it there in one piece,” she
offers.
“Wise,” Max mutters.
I point my finger in his direction and he wisely takes a step back. “If I
miss the birth of my son, I am going to kill you.”
He points to the officer. “Dude, police officer, never admit to
anything.”
I glance down at her. “I'm going to kill him. Are you going to arrest
me?”
She turns her focus from Max to me, rolling her eyes. “If it wasn't for
the fact my dad warned me about you two, I'd think you were being
serious. Now, let's get you to your wife.”
I relax a little. “Thank you.”
“Your dad warned you about us?” Max asks, grinning wide.
“Your picture is in our staff room,” she mutters. “With a warning not
to feed you or engage in conversation.”
“Why? I'm a fucking hoot to talk to, and I find it really offensive that
they'll target only me. And to starve me? That has to be a criminal
offence if you ask me.”
“Max, no one is asking, so shut up,” I warn.
“One of you will need to sit in the back,” she announces, her gaze
shooting from me to Max.
I scratch the back of my neck “Max can. He's used to it.”
“Hey! No way. I want to press the siren button,” he pouts as we
reach her car.
She rolls her eyes and opens the backdoor for him. Muttering a
curse, he gets in and she slams the door behind him.
“Let's get you to the hospital,” she demands.
“Thank you,” I tell her, truly meaning it.
Please forgive me, Harlow.

*** *** ***

I race down another cold sterile corridor, somehow having managed

to get turned around once again. This place is like a fucking maze.
Harlow is going to kill me if I don't make it there in time.
And at this rate, I'm going to miss everything.
I spot a nurse's station up ahead and pick up my pace, racing over to
the grey-haired nurse.
I place my palms down on the counter and lean in. “Hi, can you tell
me if I'm on the right floor? Is this the delivery ward?”
“It is,” she replies. “Are you looking for someone?”
“My wife. Her name is Harlow Carter.”
“Oh she's—”
“Bro, she's in there,” Max calls from down the hall. He grimaces as he
points to a door. “And I'd hurry. She's pushing and it sounds like it
hurts.”
“Thanks,” I tell the nurse before running off to meet Max.
“Wait, sir…”
I tune her out as I reach Max, and immediately hear a scream.
“Fuck!”
“Go in there and tell her I'm sorry,” he tells me.
I barge inside at her cry, and my eyes bug out at what I walk into.
Legs in stirrups, chin to chest, a woman screams through her
contraction.
“One more push,” the midwife orders.
The man at her side lifts his head and narrows his eyes on me. “Who
the fuck are you?”
The midwife steps aside and I get full view of a head crowning.
From a woman who isn't my wife.
Porra!
“That's not my wife,” I mutter, taking a step back, a little queasy.
A nurse quickly ushers me out of the room. And when the door
slams shut in my face, I begin to feel faint.
Max gulps. “Um, Mal, this lady says Harlow's room is down the next
hall.”
I slowly turn to him and clench my hands into fists. "Morta. I swear,
after my baby is born, I'm going to kill you, Max. Kill you!”
He flinches. “It was an honest mistake. It sounded like Harlow.”
“Kill you,” I snap, shoving past him.
The nurse clears her throat. “Down that way. Third door on the
right. Her name will be on the board outside the room,” she explains.
I jog down the hall, my heart racing as I come to the door the nurse
pointed to. Her scream bounces off the walls, and even without her
name on the board, I know that scream. It's Harlow.
I push open the door, and immediately, her head snaps up. “Get your
arse here, right now,” she demands.
I jog to her side, quickly giving Joan a chin lift. "Eu sinto Muito. I'm so
fucking sorry.”
“Harlow, your baby is in distress. We need you to give us one big
push.”
“What's wrong with our baby?” I demand, clutching Harlow's hand.
“I can't do this,” she cries, and I swear I hear my fingers crack as she
pushes through another contraction.
“You can,” I encourage.
Her eyes snap to me, and her glare is so lethal, I shiver. “Don't you
dare speak to me. Not right now.”
I lean down, pressing my lips to her forehead. “Be mad at me later,” I
drawl quietly, before turning to the midwife. “What's going on?”
The midwife shares a look with the other before answering. “Your
baby's cord has gotten knotted around the neck. So, on the next
push, you'll feel more pressure on your vagina, but I want you to
keep pushing through it. Can you do that?”
Harlow's gaze locks on mine, and I push forward, squeezing her
hand. “You've got this. Everything is going to be okay.”
Sweat drips down her face. “I can't do this. It hurts. It hurts so much.
And you weren't here.”
“I'm really sorry, babe, but you can yell at me later. Right now, I need
you to push. Can you do that?”
All of a sudden, we hear the Rocky theme tune and turn to the door
where the sound is coming from, to see a hand holding a phone
through the gap.
“Max, fuck off,” I growl.
“But look at everything you did to get here. It seems fitting,” he
whines through the gap in the door. “The kid will be born a legend to
this song. I played it during the triplets' birth.”
“I am going to kill you, Max Carter,” Harlow screams.
“I've been getting that a lot today,” he mutters, as Harlow's hand
clenches around mine.
“Now, Harlow; we need you to push now, and we need you to use all
your strength,” the midwife demands, as her and two other women
stand at the end of the bed.
Harlow sits up, bearing down as she pushes, chin to her chest. I
press my forehead against the side of hers, squeezing her hand to
give her some extra strength. “Come on, baby, you've got this,” I
encourage, my throat tightening.
“Just a little more,” the midwife yells.
Harlow's scream pierces the air moments before she collapses back
in exhaustion.
The nurses rush to aid the midwife settled between her legs, and I
watch as my son is taken from her and rushed over to the basinet on
the far side of the room, where a bunch of people start checking him
over.
I can't tear my eyes away, a lump forming in my throat.
It all happened too quickly, and now, now… I clench my eyes shut. I
should have been here.
“Why isn't he crying?” Harlow pleads. "O que está acontecendo?
What's wrong?”
It's my turn to clench my hand around hers.
My lips part, but no words form. I have no words. I don't know how
to make this better.
I stagger back, my gaze locked on to them working on our baby. Our
tiny, tiny baby.
“Malik, do something,” she pleads. I glance down at my wife, and I
know, without one single doubt, that I can't give her what she wants.
The midwives and nurses are the only people who can help with
this. If I could, I would.
I've felt powerless in my life; with my dad, when Harlow was hurt,
and when the twins were born. But I never once felt it like this.
“Malik,” she cries.
“Harlow, I—” A tear slips down my cheek as I watch the midwife rub
my son's back, and as my baby's head flops side to side, I plead to
whoever is listening. “Please, please let him be okay. Please.”
“I want my baby,” Harlow cries.
“Let the midwife do her job,” the second midwife gently soothes.
“Sweetie,” Joan mutters, her voice breaking.
“Gran, what's going on? What's happening?” Harlow cries, her entire
chest shaking with sobs. “Why isn't he crying?”
And like he heard her plea, our son begins to wail, and I watch his
skin slowly turns pink, his tiny legs kicking back and forth.
“Fucking hell,” I rasp.
“Fuck!” Max breathed, and I glance up to see him standing next to
Joan. I never even heard him enter the room.
The only reason I don't kick him out is because his gaze isn't on my
wife, it's on our son.
“You are going to need stitches, Harlow, so we'll get them set up
soon for you,” the midwife announces.
My breath stalls in my chest as a woman strolls over, our son
bundled in her arms. “Here you go, Mum, Dad; meet your son,” she
declares softly, slowly placing him into Harlow's arms.
Harlow sucks in a breath as she gently moves the towel away from
his face so she can see him clearly. “He's so beautiful.”
I press a kiss to her forehead as the same overwhelming love I got
when the twins were born, hits me in the gut. “He's okay,” I rasp,
fighting to stay standing.
She tilts her head up. “We did it. We have another baby boy.”
I press my lips to hers, our tears mixing together. “Yeah, babe, you
really did.”
Max rubs the back of his neck. “Do you know what you are going to
call him?” Max asks, before clearing his throat. “Because I still say
Max is a strong name. Just saying.”
Harlow glances up to me, her lips twitching. “We have a name. Gran,
Max, we would like you to meet Trent Carter.”
“Beautiful name for a beautiful boy,” Joan murmurs, as she strokes
her granddaughter's head.
I stare down at my son, feeling my chest tighten. We could have lost
him tonight, but we didn't, and I have to believe there is someone
looking down on us.
We did it. Novamente.
All my life I dwelled on my past. I let it control me. Suffocate me.
Until Harlow walked into my life.
She gave me a new path to go down. She brought happiness and
laughter into my life. She gave me love.
A life.
A family.
And now, three beautiful children.
Staring down at her watching our son, I can't help but think of how
far we've come, how far I've come. And it's because of this woman in
front of me.
This strong, brave, beautiful woman.
She tilts her head up. “He's really okay,” she chokes out.
My eyes burn as a press I kiss to her lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she rasps. “He's okay, Malik. They said he's okay
now.”
I nod, swallowing past the lump in my throat.
Joan distracts Harlow, and it gives me the time to observe, to stare in
wonder. To stare at the miracle of life.
Our son.
Our family.
My wife.
It had been a rough start; but what is life without its ups and downs?
Although I wouldn't wish what happened to me or my brothers on
anyone, I sometimes wonder if it happened to us for a reason.
There's no denying it made each of us who we are; but maybe that's
who we needed to be to meet our other half.
I never believed in romantic crap until I met Harlow, never thought I
was worthy of it—I still don't sometimes. However, I'd go through it
all over again if it brought me to this moment, to this life, because I
can't think of a better reward.
Today could have ended a lot differently; it went from bad to worse,
and I'm truly grateful it's all worked out.
And I can't help but wonder if it's because of the strong, brave, and
beautiful women in our lives.
Harlow places our son into my arms, and I rock him gently side to
side. I glance down at her beaming smile—although tired and worn
out, still gorgeous. “I'll make the same promise I made to you when
the twins were born: I'll never fail them. I'll never fail you. And I'll be
the best husband, and the best father to you and our children.”
She lets out a contented sigh, her finger brushing over our son's foot.
“I know, Malik. You've never broken your promise to me,” she
praises, and for a moment, we are lost in each other, in the moment,
until her expression tightens and her gaze narrows. “Now tell me
why the heck you were at the police station.”
“Shit!” Max hisses.
“Shit,” I groan, hoping she would have forgotten that part of the day.
From her tone, and from the sound of her fingers drumming
impatiently on her lap, and the way her eyes squint to narrow on
me, she is not going to make this easy on me.
Fucking Max.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Lily

Sweat and tears mingle together as my lower abdomen shrivels up

in pain. I cry out, dropping my head back onto the cushions behind
me.
Everything hurts.
Yet it's my heart that is slowly killing me.
I need my husband.
Malik's story was meant to make me feel better. It hasn't. If
anything, a growing panic has festered inside of me. He had Harlow,
and Harlow had him. I've not got that, and I might not have it again.
One deceased.
The words are playing over and over in my head, pulling me further
down into a sad dark pit of nothing.
Jaxon only wanted to help his brother. It was meant to be a quick
trip there, and a quick trip back. He's supposed to be with me, and
with our family. We are meant to have our first Christmas dinner
together, go to his mum's and eat dessert, and play board games. We
are meant to spend the night together, making the most of the time
we have together until the baby is born.
And now…
Now I'm not sure what our future holds.
This morning we were so blissfully happy, but now… now my heart
is tearing apart.
Faith's grip tightens around my hand as she leans in, her tears falling
and splashing against my arm. “See, everything will be okay, Lily. Vai
ficar tudo bem."
I shake my head, sobbing uncontrollably. “W-will you try him
again?”
“I will,” she promises, pulling her phone out.
“Can I just add, I was not crying,” Max defends. “My eyes were
watering from the smell of the hospital.”
“You were crying,” Malik snaps.
“No, I really wasn't. And if I was—and I'm not saying I was—have
you ever thought that maybe it's because I was traumatised.”
Mum grips my knees, and I blink up through my wet lashes at her.
“Honey, I need to get your tights off, okay?”
As another contraction hits, and the pain of the contraction traps me
in my own head, I nod, letting her do it. I can't keep putting off the
inevitable.
“Grab another blanket,” Mum orders Faith. “You lot, turn around and
give us a moment of privacy.”
As Mum lowers my tights, Faith covers my bare legs, blocking
anyone else from seeing down there except Mum.
I glance up at Faith, who has the phone back at her ear. “Any
answer?”
Her lips tip down. “No, Lily, but I'll keep trying. Maybe he doesn't
have signal, or his battery is low.”
“He took it off charge this morning,” I heave out, gripping the
blanket beneath me.
No one said it will hurt this much. My pain tolerance is low on a
normal day, but I have a feeling this is just as bad for those with a
high pain tolerance.
“Myles, any update on the ambulance?” Mum calls out, and there's
something in her tone that has the hair on the back of my neck
standing on end.
"O que está errado?" I whimper.
“Nothing,” she lies, not meeting my gaze.
Please let my baby be okay.
“Mum, please,” I plead, cutting off the blood supply in Faith's hand as
I tremble in fear.
“There's just a little bit of blood,” she tells me, remaining calm.
I try to sit up, and Faith aids me. I glance down at the small spot on
the blanket between my legs, and then see more on my tights and
knickers in the corner. Horror fills me, and I glance at Mum. “There's
something wrong with my baby, isn't there?” I stammer, beginning
to feel faint.
My breathing picks up, and each breath becomes a struggle, each
one tightening my lungs.
“We need you to try and calm down,” she soothes, lightly stroking
my knees.
“Breathe, Lily,” Faith orders.
I struggle to take in a breath, to form a word, and black dots form
before my eyes. I feel someone kneel down beside me, and a warm
hand wrap around mine, pressing it against a hard chest. “Lily, feel
my heart, feel it beat, and take a breath,” Maddox softly demands.
“Take a breath.”
My baby.
Maddox's heart races beneath my touch but begins to slow as I take
in a breath. “One more,” he soothes.
“I'm already failing,” I cry out, falling back as I bear down, a heavy
pressure in my vagina. “I knew this would happen.”
“You aren't failing. Bleeding is normal,” Mum assures me.
“It's not just the bleeding, it's all of it,” I admit, my head flopping to
the side as I begin to feel weak. “I'm not going to be a good mum. I'm
going to be just like her.”
Mum kneels between my legs, and leans forward, cupping my
cheeks. “Sweet girl, you are nothing like that woman. All your
uncles, and your dad, have all had their say, and I know your bond
with them is stronger—it always has been. But it's my turn,
sweetie.” She uses one of the towels to dab the sweat and tears
away. “You might not share my DNA, but you are my daughter in
every way that counts and matters. You are a part of me, blood or
not. And I'm telling you straight, you are nothing like that woman.
You don't have it in you. Because whereas you share her DNA, you
don't have her heart. And Lily, your heart is pure.”
“You don't understand,” I choke out.
“What don't I understand?”
“He stops the nightmares. He stops my freak outs. And now he won't
be there if I have another black out. He won't be there for our baby,
and I won't be able to protect him or her. This won't be the first time
I'll fail my baby, Mum. I'll fail them every time I freak out, or black
out.”
“You aren't going to fail them.”
“I will,” I scream, my back arching off the blanket. “Mum!”
She spreads my thighs apart. “I think you need to push. Do you feel
like you need to push?”
“Yes. But I—oh God, Mum, it hurts so much.”
“Okay, you need to push,” she orders, before glancing at the others
on the other side of the room. “Myles, call that bloody ambulance
and tell them to get here now.”
“On it,” he confirms, and I hear the door click shut behind him.
“I need Jaxon,” I bawl. “Mum!”
Her fingers tense on my knees and she shuffles backwards. “Okay,
push, baby, push.”
I push down, and although the pain intensifies, it somehow lessens
too. Faith grips my hand as I relax a little, feeling more drained than
I did before.
“Get a cold flannel,” Mum orders, and I hear the door open and close
again.
I shake my head from side to side. “I can't do this. I'm not strong
enough. It hurts too much.”
“You can do this,” Maddox orders, his warm hand shaking in mine.
“I need Jaxon. I need him,” I choke out. “Please, someone find him.”
“If the accident is to do with Jaxon, I'll go find out what hospital they
were taken to, and go see what's going on myself,” Malik offers.
“It's too dangerous out there,” Mum tells him. “It's getting thicker by
the minute.”
“I'll be okay,” he tells her.
“Mum,” I cry, as the pressure below intensifies, becoming
unbearable. I try to do the breathing exercises I learned at class, but
instinct tells me to fight it, which only makes it worse.
The pressure in my lower back is slowly twisting the muscles harder
and harder with each contraction.
“Come on, Lily,” Mum soothes.
I close my eyes as the cramp begins to slowly wear off, and picture
Jaxon. I picture his smile as he opened the rest of his presents, the
sparkle in his green, emerald eyes when we were in bed, and the
sound of his laugh when I struggled to get into my tights.
As another cramp hits, the mirage is shattered, and the pain takes
over. My pelvis feels like it will shatter any moment, but I push,
following my body's instinct to do so.
I collapse back once it's over, delirious and weak.
“I can't do this.”
“Yes, baby, you can,” Mum remarks, spreading my thighs further
apart.
"Nã o. I need Jaxon. I can't do this without him,” I bawl. “It's too
much. It's all too much.”
“I'm going,” Malik declares.
“Wait,” Dad calls out, but I hear the door open and Malik leave.
I stare into Mum's eyes, my lips quivering. “I'm so scared.”
She takes a moment to gather herself, inhaling and exhaling. “I
know, sweetie. I know. But I've got you.”
“You always have. Because you are the best mum in the world,” I tell
her as Faith grips my hand.
My insides feel like they are being pulled out when the next one hits.
I shove my chin to my chest, trying to find the strength to push. “Lily,
come on, you have to push harder,” Mum demands.
I shake my head side to side as a cool flannel hits my forehead. “I
can't. I can't do it.”
A commotion from outside echoes through the house, and I hear Dad
yell something. My mind blanks as I push down, squeezing Faith's
hand as I do.
“Lily,” Mum murmurs, and I look up, seeing her face pale and her
shoulders sag. She falls back onto the heels of her feet, staring at
something behind me. “Thank you, Jesus.”
“Lily,” Jaxon calls, and the air gets trapped in my lungs at the sound
of his voice.
It's like a dream.
Like a sweet lullaby.
Then he kneels down beside me, replacing the spot Maddox was just
occupying.
“Jesus Christ. I got here as quick as I could. Are you okay? How are
you doing?” he stresses, his hand running down my arm.
I stare up at him, lost for a moment, not quite believing he's real. But
I can feel him, I can smell him, and he's definitely in front of me.
“You aren't gone. You're here,” I stammer, seconds before I begin to
shake with relieved sobs. I take in the cut above his eye and the
bruise forming across his jaw, and my chest aches even harder. “I
didn't think I'd see you again, Jaxon. Then my waters broke.” I take
in a breath. “Our baby is coming, and I thought I would have to do it
alone. I can't do this without you. I need you. I love you so, so, so
much.”
“Lily, take another breath,” he orders.
"Eu sinto Muito. I'm so sorry,” I wail as another contraction hits.
Once it ends, I lean up, needing to feel him, to hold him. “Are you
okay?”
He's really here.
“Lily, I need you to lie back down,” Mum orders as I grip his
shoulders.
As I go back, he follows, and I wrap my arms around him. I shove my
face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his spicy cologne.
He hasn't left me.
I hold him closer. “You're here. You are really here. I thought you
were…” It becomes too much, and I can't find the words.
He's here.
He will get to see our son or daughter grow. He'll get to rock them to
sleep. We'll get to have our future.
“Fuck,” he rasps, pulling back a little to rest his forehead against
mine. “Angel, I told you I'd be back.”
“Reid said you were—that you…” I whimper, clenching as another
contraction hits me. “Then they said one person died. I thought I lost
you. I thought we lost you. I can't do this without you. It—”
His cool lips press against mine, silencing me for a moment. “Angel,
I'm not leaving you,” he promises, before turning to Mum. “Why isn't
she at the hospital?”
“Ambulance is on the way,” Mum explains.
“I'm so sorry. I told you to hurry and it's my fault. It's my fault,” I
choke out, still clinging to his hands as I ramble.
“It's not, Lily. And that's not important right now.”
"O que aconteceu? What—” A scream tears from my throat, and
Jaxon leans forward, running a hand along my jaw.
“Lily, push,” Mum demands.
I do, but the urge leaves, along with my energy. “Jaxon, it hurts.” I
tremble, taking his hand.
“You can do this, Lily.”
“I thought I lost you,” I choke out.
"O que aconteceu?" Faith asks.
“The other driver—a woman—had a heart attack and lost control
her car. I'm fine. The other people in her car are fine, but she wasn't
though,” he explains. “Reid was meant to ring and tell Lily I was
going to be running a little late and would be a while longer.”
“That's not what he fucking said,” Dad grits out.
Jaxon's jaw clenches and I run my hand along his jaw. “I'll be having
words with him later.”
“I tried calling you,” I tell him, my breath hitching.
“My phone got smashed. And then I was trying to help get the
daughter out of the car. She was trapped in the back, so I asked Reid
to call you. I'm sorry. So fucking sorry. We were around the corner
when Wyatt's phone began to ring. Paisley called us.”
I grip his hands tighter. “I love you, Jaxon. Please, don't ever leave
me.”
“Never,” he declares.
“Push really hard on your next contraction, Lily,” Mum orders.
“I'm so tired,” I wail, as another hits. I squeeze Jaxon's hand, Faith's
in my other, and push. “I can't. I can't. It hurts so much.”
I fall back and gaze up at Jaxon, my eyelids drooping.
“You can do this, Lily,” Jaxon claims.
I can't.
Every fibre of my being has been drained of energy. My legs feel like
jelly, and I can barely lift my arms.
“Grab her legs and pull her knees to her chest,” Mum orders.
With one hand on my head, and the other at my leg, Jaxon leans into
me. “You've got this, Angel.” I close my eyes as he presses a kiss to
my forehead, giving me some of his strength.
Faith lifts the other, and as the next contraction hits, Mum's breath
hitches. “I can see the head, baby. I can see the head.”
I push, yet the burning between my legs become too much and wins
the fight. My head flops back against the pillows. I'm too weak to
keep it up.
“Paramedics are here,” Max yells. “Oh my God, the paramedics are
here.”
“Push, Lily,” Mum urges.
“Push,” Jaxon repeats with the same urgency.
With strength I didn't think I had left in me, I push, bearing down
with everything I have in me.
“That's it. That's it,” Mum praises. “Faith, get me a towel ready.”
The paramedics walk in as the contraction dies off. “Jaxon,” I
whimper.
“What a beautiful way to spend Christmas,” the woman announces
cheerfully.
Max snorts. “Yeah, seeing your niece in pain is real beautiful.”
Mum shuffles to the side, and I feel pressure down below as the
paramedic examines me. Everything becomes hazy, and I fight to
stay conscious.
"Qual o seu nome?" she asks, glancing up at me.
“Lily,” I reply drowsily.
“Lily, on your next contraction, I'm going to need you to really push.
Your baby's head has crowned. I want you to push into the back like
you would if you were on the toilet. You'll know it when you feel it.
And tuck your chin into your neck.”
I nod, and as the next contraction hits, with Jaxon on one side, Faith
on the other, I lift up a little, bearing down like the paramedic
ordered, chin to the chest.
The pain is indescribable, the pressure intense. It feels like my
insides are torn apart, right before there's a moment of relief. It feels
like a gush of water, but I know it's not. I know it's my baby.
And it's confirmed when I hear the sweet melody of his or her cry.
Jaxon slowly lowers my leg to the floor, and I roll my head on the
pillow, catching the paramedic working on our baby before
wrapping him or her up.
My baby.
It feels surreal. I've carried the tiny human for so long. I've felt them
kick, punch, and wiggle around. Now they are here.
“Congratulations, Mum; you have a baby girl.”
Tears stream down my face as they pass her over to me and the first
thing I notice is her dark fluff of hair. I cradle her in my arms, staring
down at her beautiful face, taking in her cute button nose and bow
lips. I sniffle as I glance up at Jaxon, who's hand has moved to stroke
our daughter's cheek to soothe her crying. “We did it. We are a mum
and dad.”
It's just us two, locked in our own little world.
The love shining back at me warms my heart. He's staring at me like
I saved the world, and like he's rejoicing and grateful over the act.
His eyes are swimming with unshed tears, and for a moment, the
intensity of the vibe I'm getting off him, overwhelms me.
My breath catches as he leans down, our lips touching. “I love you so
fucking much, Lily.”
“I love you too,” I reply, exhausted. My gaze goes back to our
daughter, not wanting to take my eyes off her.
She's perfect.
Absolutely beautiful.
And I know without any doubt that I'll never fail her. Not as a mum,
not ever. Before, Jaxon held my heart, but now, this little lady shares
it too.
“She's perfect,” I whisper, reaching for her hand. I press my lips to
the tip of each finger.
Perfect.
“Yeah,” Jaxon rasps, pressing his lips against mine, before he slowly
presses a kiss to his daughter's forhead.
Mum makes a noise in the back of her throat. “What is her name?”
I blink out of our moment and share a smile with Jaxon. He nods,
giving me permission before I face her. “Mum, meet Rose Hannah
Hayes.”
Her brows raise in surprise. “Lily,” she murmurs softly.
I run my finger over my daughter's cheek, keeping my voice low as I
reply, “Faith wants to use Grandma's name for her first daughter, so
I thought I'd use your mum's name for mine. If she were a boy, we
were going to use William.”
“I love it,” she gushes, her entire face lit up with happiness.
“I can't believe I'm a mum,” I tremble. “She's absolutely perfect.”
“You were right,” Jaxon suddenly announces, his voice low and close
to my ear. I glance up from our daughter, to him, our noses brushing
against his each other before he pulls back.
“Right about what?” I ask, my brows pinching together.
“About Christmas.”
Christmas?
That isn't what I thought he was going to say.
“What about Christmas?
His pupils dilate as he replies, his voice low and hoarse. “It really is
magical.”
As I glance down at my daughter, a smile tugs at my lips.
Magical.
“Told you,” I rasp.
Today could have been a lot worse, and for a while there, my future
looked to be a lonely one. But now it's filled with so much more.
With the snow fluttering in thick flakes outside the window, the
twinkling lights giving off a soft glow, and the smell of Christmas
dinner cooking in the oven, I couldn't think of a better time to give
birth.
And minus Jaxon getting in an accident, I couldn't wish for a better
Christmas.
Or a better future.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Jaxon

The snow finally stopped last night, and although there is snow on
the pavements, the main roads are clear and the side roads are
slush, giving us a safe passage home.
It's the day after Boxing Day, two days after Lily gave birth to our
precious baby girl. It has been a surreal couple of days.
I went from going to get Reid, to being in an accident, to freezing my
balls off trying to get the woman out of the car while we waited for
the emergency services, to getting a call from my sister screaming at
me. The minute she told me Lily was in labour, I made Wyatt put his
foot down. As soon as we got close to Maverick's, I jumped out of the
van and ran the rest of the way, knowing it would be quicker.
Then I spent two days with my wife, giving her time to recover, and
watching our daughter.
My wife is a fucking warrior. I walked into that room hearing the
words, 'I can't.' What I don't think she realised—or still realises—is
she was already doing it. And although I never want to see her in
that kind of pain again, there is nothing more beautiful than
watching my wife give birth. I couldn't be prouder of her.
Right now, however, I'm worried about her.
I understand her need to be near our daughter. I couldn't stop
watching Rose—nor holding her if Lily put her down for five
minutes.
That's not what's concerning me. What's worrying me is her
behaviour. Back at the hospital, whenever I tried to leave, she'd go
as pale as a ghost and begin to shake. When I did leave—only to use
the bathroom—I came back to her freaking out. The nurses had to
grab a paper bag for her to breathe into so she could get through the
panic attack. It had been a bad one, and for a moment, I got scared
she would pass out.
Thank God we had a great doctor and amazing nurses at our side
because they gave Lily her own separate room and let me stay with
her. Otherwise, I dread to think what might have happened.
I've also found her watching me over the past few days with a lost
look in her gaze.
Now, on our way home, I can't let it go on for a moment longer. It's
going to eat at her if she's constantly worrying about me. And there
is no way I want her first few weeks with our daughter to be about
me and her fear of me leaving. Not that I'm going anywhere in the
next couple of weeks.
“Angel?”
She twists back around in her seat after checking on Rose,
something she knows she shouldn't be doing since she had to have
stiches when we arrived at the hospital. It's what caused the
bleeding during the birth. “Yeah?”
“How are you doing?”
"Estou bem. A little sore still,” she replies softly.
“I mean about everything else.”
“What do you mean?”
I quickly flick the blinker on and pull over to the side of the road, not
far from home. After placing the car into park, I turn to her. “You are
worried about me. I see it every time you look at me.”
Her gaze flicks to the cut above my eyebrow. “You were hurt.”
“I know, Angel, but I'm good now. You can stop worrying about me.”
She lowers her gaze. “I'll always worry about you. You are my
husband. I love you.”
I reach over, cupping her jaw, waiting until her gaze meets mine to
reply. “That isn't the same. It's affected you. But you don't need to
worry about me. It was an accident and it's over. And I know what
Reid put you through was traumatic, but it's good now. I'm good.”
She fiddles with her cardigan. “I got scared. I'm still scared. I really
thought I had lost you, Jaxon. I can't live without you.”
“You don't have to, but even if you did, you could, Lily. You could
because you have so much to live for.”
She doesn't hide the anguish in her expression. “No, Jaxon, I couldn't,
because I'll be dead inside. Maybe one day I'd pull through it,
definitely for our daughter, but what we have, what we share, it can
never be replaced. You are it for me.”
Her words make me wish I had punched Reid harder.
My wife, so kind with her words, generous with her time, and loving
with her heart, is hurting. I want to fix it for her so badly, but I'm not
sure I know how.
“Lily, you are it for me too, which is why you should know that
nothing will ever stop me from getting home to you. Sempre. I love
you. I love our daughter. And our life is going to be beautiful. Your
life will be beautiful.” I press my lips to hers, savouring her taste.
She's breathless by the time I pull away. “You can't let your fear of
me being hurt affect you. You can't be scared every time I leave the
room. It's not healthy. I want you to be happy, to live carefree; not
scared I won't be coming back.”
She runs her hand up my arm, pressing it against the side of my
neck. “I will try, I promise. I just need time. Everything happened so
quickly, and I'm… I'm still processing.”
“I know,” I tell her, leaning in for another kiss. “Now that's sorted, is
there something else you want to talk to me about? I'm not sure if
it's about the accident or what, but sometimes I get the feeling you
want to talk to me about something.”
“Actually, um, there is,” she tells me, her voice hesitant, low.
I link our fingers together, giving her a gentle squeeze. “What is it,
Angel?”
“First, I'm going to need you to be really honest. I don't want you to
say okay, if it's not really okay, or say what you think I want to hear.
I just… I need you to be honest, okay?”
I tense a little, wondering what this is about. “Go on,” I demand
softly.
“I need to know that if I were to stop working, will we be financially
stable? I have savings, but they won't last forever,” she explains,
glancing down for a moment.
I hadn't been expecting that. “You love your job, Angel; why
wouldn't you want to work?”
She runs the palm of her hand down her thigh. “I want to be a mum.
I want to be at home and watch her grow. Maybe when she's a little
older or at school, I can go back. But right now, I don't want to be a
working mum. But I will if it's something we need to do financially. I
don't want you to carry the burden.”
I give her a reassuring squeeze. “I've got you both covered. We are
good. I promise,” I tell her, but a small smile reaches my lips. “But
why until Rose goes to school? What about our other children?”
She throws her head back, laughing. “I've just given birth and you
are already planning for our next baby.”
“Anything to keep you tied to me.”
Her brows scrunch together. “I'm already tied to you. Our child, or
future children, won't change that. You are it, remember?”
I grin before pressing my lips to hers. Her taste is as sweet as ever.
Fuck, my wife can kiss. The doctors said six to eight weeks until we
could be intimate again, but fuck, she's killing me.
Her tongue flicks against mine, and I groan.
She pulls back, her lashes fluttering. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I rasp. “Now, it's time to get my girls home.”
“I like the sound of that. It feels weird without Rose in my arms.”
I put the car into gear and pull away from the curb, chuckling. “You
are going to make bedtimes difficult if you don't put her down.”
“Like you are any better,” she teases.
“She's like her momma, so goddamn beautiful, so of course I don't
want to let her go.”
“I understand my brother now more than ever. He didn't like anyone
holding Sunday either. I thought it was because he didn't trust
anyone, but he just didn't want to let her go.”
“I think somewhere deep down it was because he didn't trust
anyone with her. Apart from you. I've never seen him have an issue
with you having Sunday.”
We round the corner of our street, and whatever Lily is about to say
gets stuck in her throat as she inhales sharply. “What is going on?”
Up ahead, our family are congregated outside our house. Some are
holding balloons, some hold congratulation banners, and some hold
gift bags or flowers.
“I have no idea,” I admit, pulling onto the drive. “Wait there, I'll help
you out.”
She's waving at her mum and dad as I slide out of the car. “What are
you all doing here?” I ask, greeting my brothers.
“Wait for it,” Eli replies, jerking his head to the others.
I rush around the car, saying hello as I pass by the others. Maverick
is already opening the door for Lily. He helps her down and she
takes a look around at everyone. “What is going on? Why is
everyone here?” she asks, her entire face lighting up at the sight of
them. “I thought you were all coming tomorrow.”
“Merry Christmas,” is yelled from the crowd.
“And congratulations,” is followed.
Her mum steps up beside her husband, wrapping her arm around
his waist. “We decided that since you missed Christmas Day, we
would make it up to you and bring Christmas to you.”
“So today, pretend it's Christmas Day again,” Maddox teases.
Lily wraps her arm around me as she glances around at the others.
“This is, this is…” She bursts into tears, this time happy tears, as she
clings to me.
“Guys, the gesture is sweet and all, but she needs to go inside and
rest,” I explain, trying to remain respectful as I pull her closer.
Mum grins as she steps up beside the in-laws. “We have dinner
cooking. It's nearly done. Me, Maverick, Teagan, Maddox, and Lily's
siblings are going to be having dinner here with you two. The rest of
them will be split between your grandpa's and Charlotte's.”
“Mum,” I begin but she cuts me off, giving me the 'mum stare.'
“Lily will be waited on hand and foot. She is not going to lift a finger.
And if she wants to go lie down and rest, then that's what she will
do. We will pack up and go.”
“Lily, what would you like to do?” Teagan asks.
Lily lifts her head, wiping her red nose with the sleeve of her
cardigan. “I really did want to make it a great Christmas.”
“It's already been the best Christmas of my life, Lily. You gave birth
to our daughter.”
Her hand presses against my chest, above my heart. "Por favor. It's
family.”
I let out a breath. “Okay, but the first yawn and everyone is leaving,
and you are getting some rest.”
She beams wide at me. “Thank you.”
“Now, everyone, quickly give your congratulations, so I can get them
both inside.”
I pull open the back door and smile as I see Rose sleeping soundly in
her car seat, her pink hat lopsided. After tucking the blanket around
her, I unclip her seat, before lifting her out.
Everyone begins to gush, which I knew they would. I just wish they
would do it whilst we were inside, in the warmth.
“Right, come on everyone, give them some room,” Aiden yells.
“You're just hungry,” Wyatt retorts.
“Yeah, so would you be if you knew how good it tasted,” he replies.
“All of you will get a chance to come say hi,” Mum announces. “Now
come on, get moving.”
“Wait, before you go inside, there's, um, can I talk to you, Lily?” Reid
asks.
Her expression drops to concern. “Reid, what happened to your
face? Jaxon said you weren't in the accident,” she rushes out, and
snorts from my siblings filter through the air.
His gaze flicks to me, and he gulps. “I, um, I walked into a door.”
“Oh Reid. You need to be careful. It looks really painful.”
“Yeah, the door was made out of solid oak,” he replies, trying to
sound light. “So, um, can we talk?”
"É claro."
“Let me take Rose inside,” Maverick offers.
“Wait, we will come inside with you,” Lily rushes out, and I laugh.
“She doesn't want to leave her,” I explain.
Maverick's expression softens. “I get that.”
Reid holds up his hands. “It's fine. I can talk another day.”
“It's okay. You can come inside,” Lily tells him, and as Maverick helps
Lily into the house, I carry our daughter.
Once inside, I take a second to savour the moment. We are home,
and we are a family of three.
People spend their lives chasing their dreams, taking the next step
in life, or seeking something better. I've managed to find it all in one
person.
Lily.
There isn't a love greater than the one I share with her. There isn't a
dream I wish to seek because she is my dream. And every step I now
take in life, I take it with my wife at my side.
I clear my throat and turn to the first person, who happens to be
Teagan. “Teagan, will you take Rose into the front room for us?”
“Of course,” she replies, taking the car seat off me.
When Lily goes to protest, I pull her against me. “She will be fine for
a few minutes. Let's hear Reid out so he can go eat his food. He's
probably starving.”
She relaxes against me. "Ok."
I turn to my brother, who shifts nervously at the front door. “Say
whatever you need to say.”
He nods, running a hand across the back of his neck. “Lily, I just
want to say I'm sorry. I should have started with 'he's fine' but I
didn't, and for that, and for the stress I put you through, I'm truly
sorry.”
“Reid, you didn't know your phone was going to die,” she replies
softly. “It's okay now. Everything worked out in the end.”
“I know, but I truly am sorry. It's my fault. If I hadn't got drunk the
night before I would have been okay. And you wouldn't have been
stressed and gone into labour.”
She bites her bottom lip, hesitant for a moment. “I think I had been
in labour before Jaxon left and I put it down as Braxton hicks.”
“Why didn't you say anything?” I ask, only just hearing this now.
“I didn't want you to worry. I wanted you to enjoy Christmas.”
“Angel,” I murmur.
She places her hand on my chest before turning her attention back
to Reid. “Thank you for apologising, but it's really unnecessary. You
weren't to know, and it couldn't have been helped.”
“Thank you for feeling like that. It means a lot that you don't blame
me. But still, I'm sorry.”
“Today is about celebrating, so why don't you come inside and have
a drink and something to eat.”
He quickly turns to me, and I narrow my gaze on him. He takes a
breath. “I can't. I have to be at grandad's. He needs some help.”
“Are you sure?” ela pergunta.
“Angel, why don't you go check on Rose. Reid will be okay,” I
promise her.
She nods and lets me go to pull Reid in for a hug. “Merry Christmas,
Reid.”
“Merry Christmas, Lily. And congratulations.”
"Obrigada. Make sure you pop back so you can meet your niece.”
“Can't wait,” he replies sincerely.
She leaves, and once I know she won't hear, I turn on Reid. “Thank
you for apologising, but this doesn't mean you're forgiven.”
"Eu sei. Fuck, do I know. I just needed her to know it wasn't
intentional. I really am sorry, Jaxon. Truly.”
“I want to say I know and it's okay, but I'm still pissed. And after
hearing everyone else's take on the day, I can't move past that anger.
Not yet anyway.”
“I get it. I do. I'd be the same if it was reversed. But just so you know,
I'm kicking myself enough.”
“I do know that,” I admit.
“Congratulations, bro. I'll be back round later. I think Mum has us
coming in twos, so Lily isn't overwhelmed with guests.”
I lift my chin in understanding. “Thanks for coming and for
apologising.”
“Yeah.”
He leaves and I'm left to my own thoughts. I don't want to be hard
on him, but I can't help it. What he did was reckless and stupid. He
not only put himself at risk, but he also put me and Wyatt at risk. But
what I can't forgive or forget any time soon is that he put Lily and
our daughter at risk. When Maverick filled me in on everything I
missed once Lily was asleep, my heart tore in two. She went through
the wringer, and I wasn't there for her.
“He really is sorry,” Mum announces, startling me. I didn't hear her
walk in.
“Yeah, but he needs to learn, Mum. What he did could have ended
badly.”
“I think this will be a wakeup call. I think you forget that people
make mistakes. You've always been head-strong and determined.
You don't know what it's like to make a mistake.”
“I make mistakes, Mum. I just don't make stupid ones like Reid.”
“Because you had no other choice. And that's my fault. You took too
much on far too young after we lost your father.”
“Mum—”
“No, I don't need you to make me feel better. Just please, go easy on
him, Jaxon. He might act like he doesn't give a shit about anything,
but you boys are everything to him. Lily is like a sister to him, and he
cares for her a great deal. So please, go easy.”
I give it some thought. “Alright, Mum, I'll try. I just need some time.”
She leans up, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “That's all I can ask for.”
“Thanks for everything, Mum. Maverick said you and Teagan got
everything finished in the nursery and made sure we had everything
ready for when we got back.”
“It's my pleasure,” she croons, gazing into the living room where Lily
holds our daughter. “I'm so proud of you, son. And if your dad were
here, he'd say the same thing.”
“Mum,” I rasp.
“He would. You're a good man. A great husband. And you're going to
make a fantastic dad. I couldn't be any prouder than I am right now,
my boy. You've done yourself proud.” She takes a breath, composing
herself. “Lily, she's special, and I love her for you. What you are
building will only grow and I wish it for you, son. I wish you all the
happiness in the world because you deserve it.”
I pull her in for a side hug, kissing the top of her head. “Mum, I'm the
man you raised me to be. Thank you.”
She lightly smacks my arm. “Go be with your family. I'll go and check
on the dinner.”
I watch her leave, letting her words sink in. I guess everyone is
feeling the emotions running high in the air.
Lily and I aren't building a beautiful life, we already have that. What
we will have in our future is just a bonus. And I know, without a
shadow of a doubt, our future is going to be amazing.
It couldn't be anything less, not with Lily at my side.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Lily

Leaving Jaxon to talk to his brother, I begin to feel like I should have
said more. I know he's mad at Reid. I know a lot of people are. But I
meant what I said. Reid had no clue he was going to be cut off or that
I'd take it the wrong way. They can't blame him for that. It could
have been anyone on the other end of the call and I would have
freaked out all the same.
Still, as I turn, Reid's shoulders slump, and I want to go back over
and make it better. After all, they wouldn't be so mad if I hadn't
reacted badly.
My heart still has that ache inside it whenever I think of 'what if'.
However, Jaxon is right. I can't keep going on like this; scared he'll
leave and not come back. I'll still worry; I always will. The man
trying to mess with his business hasn't helped. He's already tried to
kill him—us—by setting a house on fire. I'm scared of the lengths he
will go to next. Jaxon protects me from it, but I know it's weighing on
him. I know it's getting dangerous.
I guess Reid's phone call and my reaction all festered from that. It's
something I've been scared will happen for a while. That dreaded
phone call to tell me Jaxon is hurt, or worse… that he's been killed.
“Get off your feet,” Dad lightly orders.
“I never got this treatment when Sunday was born,” Aiden mutters.
Dad pinches the bridge of his nose. “That's because you didn't give
birth.”
“Parenting is parenting,” Aiden retorts.
Dad freezes. “Son, do not say that in front of a woman. Sempre.
Especially one who has had a child,” he scolds.
Aiden grimaces. "Desculpe."
“Go help out in the kitchen,” Dad orders.
Mum places Rose in my arms, and I can't seem to pull my gaze away
from her sleeping form.
There are pieces of my heart I didn't know existed until the moment
she was born. I loved her before. I loved her with everything I had
for nine months, but the moment she was born, my world got bigger,
my heart grew fuller, and my life started down a new path—one I
feared but am now excited for.
“She's beautiful, Lily,” Mum declares softly.
And it hits me; how lucky I am to have such an incredible, kind,
loving family.
I nod, my eyes welling up with tears. No one told me my hormones
would be worse after giving birth, so the tears come at random.
“I love her so much. I'm scared to put her down. Sometimes it
doesn't feel real,” I admit quietly, not wanting to disturb her
sleeping.
“We felt the same with you lot. It passes quickly with boys though,”
Dad teases.
My gaze flicks to Jaxon, checking to see if he's okay. He's still in a
heated discussion with Reid. I bite my lip, turning back to Dad to
reply. “I don't think this will ever pass.”
My heart is filled with so much love.
Mum wraps her arm around me. “It won't. It expands and grows, but
it will never pass.”
“I feel silly,” I admit.
“What about?”
“For thinking I'll ever be anything like her. For being scared I'll make
a terrible mum. For all of it.”
Dad's jaw tightens. “Lily—”
“It's fine. I realise now how ridiculous it was to think like that. I let
my fears fester. I let her get into my head. She wasn't a mother. She
was just a woman. A cruel, sadistic woman. And I know that now. I
know it because the moment I held Rose in my arms, I became a
mother. I felt it. And I know I'll never let anything or anyone hurt
her,” I explain, before turning to Mum. “But it's more than that. You
showed me with words and with actions what a mother's love is. I
just never knew how much you loved me until I had Rose. Until I
understood the meaning of a mother's love. I love you, Mum. I love
you so much and I'm so grateful for everything.”
Mum leans forward, pride and love pouring from her. She presses
her hand to my cheek whilst kissing the other. “Loving you has
always been easy.”
I beam as I stare down at my daughter. “I'm still scared I'll mess up.
But I'll deal. Because she needs me to. And for her, I'll be strong.”
Dad leans forward, placing his hand on my knee. “Lily, you're always
going to wonder if you are doing things right, or if it's wrong. You'll
always fret about the small things. You'll be scared every day. But
that's what it means to be a parent, to care so much about someone
else that you just want to be the best you. Para eles. For you. For
your family,” he explains, smiling at me. “And you've never failed at
anything. Parenting for you is going to be a breeze. And if it's not,
you've got us and the rest of your family who will step in and help.”
“And by that, he means, let us please, at least get once a week,
babysitting duty,” Mum adds, her tone light. “With Madison taking
on more responsibilities at the shop, I'm no longer needed there.”
“Maybe in a month or two. I'm, um, I'm not going back to work. Not
for a while. I want to be at home with Rose.”
“You aren't going back to work?” Dad asks, a little stumped over it.
“I want to be a mum. I want to enjoy every road this journey will
take me down. I will go back eventually. Just not right now.”
Mum gives me a light squeeze. “It doesn't change anything,
sweetheart. You and Jaxon will need a date night soon enough and
we will be here to babysit.”
I smile at her attempt to change the subject back. “Yeah, we will.
Thank you, Mum.”
Jaxon steps into the room, smiling as he glances down at me. “You
couldn't help yourself, could you?”
I giggle. “Technically, Mum got her out, but nope, I couldn't. I just
want to hold her forever.”
He takes a seat on the other side of me, just as Max and Lake step
through. Lake immediately rushes over, bending down to see Rose.
“Oh, Lily, she is beautiful.”
“Would you like to hold her?” Eu pergunto.
She nods and gently takes Rose from my arms. My heart stops for a
moment, but I remember she's okay, that she's with Lake. And if
anyone can survive raising triplets, one baby will be a breeze.
“God, I forgot how small they are,” she murmurs.
Max scrunches his nose up. “Don't go getting any ideas. I gave you
three. That's enough, woman.” He leans over to get a peek, and I
smile as his expression softens. “She is cute. The boys were ugly
babies.”
“Max, no they weren't.”
He looks to his wife like she has two heads. “Babe, Landon had an
egg head for weeks and Liam's face looked wrinkly and old.”
“What about Hayden?” Jaxon asks, grinning.
“Most beautiful baby in the world. Except for this one of course.”
“I can't believe you said that about our boys. You held them after I
gave birth and said they were beautiful,” Lake argues, keeping her
voice low.
“I lied.”
Lake goes red in the face. “You lied?”
“They had blood and all sorts of shit on them. And you were a mess. I
went on auto pilot and said the first thing that came to me. But come
on, you have to admit, it was cringy.”
“Max, do not speak to me.” I try not to laugh as she hands me back
my daughter. “Lily, congratulations. I'll pop in again soon. Alone.”
“Thank you for coming.”
She nods. “You've got presents upstairs. We didn't want to
overwhelm you, so we dropped all of the Christmas and baby
presents upstairs.”
I love my family. “Thank you.”
She walks out, but as she reaches the door, she stops, turning and
jabbing her finger in her husband's direction. “Do not follow me.”
He drops down into the armchair, huffing. “I'm not wrong.”
“Max, quit while you're ahead,” Dad mutters, causing me and Mum
to laugh.
Max expression changes, and I know the incident that just happened
has been completely erased from his mind.
He slaps his hand down on the arm of the chair. “Bro, are you trying
to outdo everyone by having the most of everything? First with your
kids, and now with the grandkids. Faith will be next, old man.”
Dad arches an eyebrow. “How do you know Hayden won't be next?”
I laugh at Max's expression. His jaw drops, and his eyes bulge. “My
Hayden is waiting for the right guy.”
“She's with Clayton,” I remind him. “And they love each other very
much.”
“Yeah, and he's alright for a suit, but he steals her food, and she
hates it. She wants to wait for the right guy, for marriage, so I'm
good on that front.”
“You gave her permission to have kids,” Mum points out.
“I didn't mean to say it. It was in the heat of the moment. Sheesh,
why does everyone keeping bringing up old shit?”
“Well, I don't care. I love my grandchildren and wouldn't change
them for the world,” Dad tells him.
“Don't, Dad; Jaxon is already planning for the next one,” I tease.
He glares at Jaxon. “She's just given birth.”
Jaxon chuckles. “She said the same thing. I'm happy to enjoy the
three of us for a while, but I'm not going to lie, I want more kids.”
“Me too,” I agree, running my finger down Rose's cheek. I couldn't
picture my life not being a mum now. She's the centre of my world.
My everything.
And Jaxon gave this to me. He gave me love. A life. He gave me a
family.
Faith steps into the room, smiling. “Are you up for two new guests?”
Faith has been at the hospital with me. Neither her or Mum left my
side, and I'll be forever grateful they were there for me during the
birth and after.
“Who is up next?” Jaxon asks.
“Star and Miah want to come in and say hi.”
I nod vigorously. “Please, send them in. I want them to meet Rose.”
She nods and leaves to go let them in. “Mum, thank you so much for
setting this up for us. It means the world to me.”
“It wasn't just me. Liza and everyone else helped too.”
When Star heads through, she doesn't barrel into the room
screaming. If anything, she's tiptoeing, and being cautious, her hand
clasped around Miah's.
“Come meet Rose,” I encourage softly.
Mum moves out of the way. “Take a seat, Miah. I'm going to help out
in the kitchen.”
He reluctantly takes a seat next to me as I hold out Rose for Star to
see. “She's so tiny,” she murmurs in awe.
“She is.”
“And she was born on Christmas Day?”
“Yeah, she was. She made a proper little entrance.”
“Lily?” she calls but stops herself from whatever she's about to ask.
“What do you want to ask, sweetie?”
“Do you think she will want to play with me when she's older?”
I smile at the kind-hearted girl in front of me. “Star, she's going to
want to be your best friend when she's older. I have no doubts about
it.”
“You really think so?”
“Oh, I know so,” I assure her.
“I can't wait to tell all my friends,” she admits quietly, her gaze still
filled with wonder.
“Bet this has made you rethink my Christmas present now, huh,
Miah?” Max goads.
Miah snorts. “Pretty sure if I told your school what you are giving
out for Christmas presents, you wouldn't be so cocky about it.”
“Language,” I lightly scold.
“Sorry, Lily.”
“Boy thinks he's a man,” Max retorts.
“Stop baiting him,” Maverick warns.
“Alright, alright. I'm going to see what's going on in the kitchen.”
“Do you want to hold her?” I ask Miah.
Horror fills his expression, and he shuffles back on the sofa, moving
away from me. “God no. I'll break her.”
“You won't break her. Come on, say hello.”
“Do I have to?”
“No, I'll never force you to do anything you don't want to do,” I
assure him.
He watches me for a moment before groaning, sitting up straighter.
"Ok."
“Can I hold her after?” Star asks, not taking her gaze off my daughter.
I tap her button nose. “Of course you can. Let your brother hold her
first.”
“Support her head over the crease of your elbow,” Jaxon warns, as I
gently place her in Miah's arms.
“He's got it, Jaxon,” I tell him.
“God, she's so tiny. Aren't you afraid you'll hurt her?” Miah asks,
gazing down at Rose.
He doesn't know what his question means to me. Or how
fundamental my answer is. “No, Miah; no, I'm not afraid I'll ever hurt
her.”
He gazes down at her, his expression soft, and whether he realises it
or not, a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips.
“I guess she's okay—for a baby.”
“Dinner's ready,” Mum yells. “Come to the table.”
I smile, gently taking her from him. “Quickly jump up so Star can
have a hold. Are you staying for dinner?”
"Nã o. We are actually off out, which is why Blanche hasn't come in.
She said she will pop in when you've not got so many visitors.
Personally, I think Hayden scared her away.”
Jaxon quickly runs over how to hold Rose to Star as I reply to Miah.
“She is more than welcome here,” I tell him.
Star takes in a breath, her entire body tense as she holds Rose. “I
love her so much.”
My heart melts at her words. “She loves you too.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I'm her mummy.”
“Come on, squirt, time to go. We can come visit another day,” Miah
tells her.
“But—”
“It's fine. You go on out. You can come back anytime you want to,” I
assure her.
“You promise?”
Tucking Rose to my chest, I smile. "Eu prometo."
She slides off the sofa, jumping to her feet. Once down, she leans
over, pressing a kiss to Rose's head. “Look after her while I'm gone.”
I chuckle at her order. "Eu vou."
As they leave, Jaxon takes Rose from me. “I'll put her in her Moses
basket while we eat.”
“But—”
“Angel, you haven't eaten since yesterday. You need to eat. We don't
know what the night will bring or how tired we will be tomorrow.”
I sigh, dropping my hands to my side. "Ok."
“You okay to walk or are you too sore?”
“I'll be okay,” I promise as we make our way into the kitchen.
I gasp when I see the large table set up how Mum sets hers at
Christmas. Lights are pinned wall to wall around the room, and
Christmas songs are playing softly in the background.
But there are also 'It's a girl' banners with a few pink balloons
scattered around.
“Merry Christmas and congratulations on the birth of your
daughter,” they cheer as we step into the room.
“Guys,” I murmur, dropping my head against Jaxon's shoulder.
This is just…
Phenomenal.
Jaxon pulls out the chair for me, before gently laying Rose down in
the Moses basket between us.
The food is bursting over the table, the smell divine and tantalising.
They've put so much effort into everything. There are personalised
name plaques, personalised crackers, and red, pink, and gold
confetti, mixing the two celebrations together.
I tune out the chatter around the table and face my husband, my
heart bursting with joy.
This is what he promised me.
And this is what he gave me.
He feels my gaze on him and turns to me, his expression soft and
filled with love. “You okay?”
“Just thinking that maybe Christmas isn't the only time magic
happens.”
He smirks, leaning in, our daughter sleeping between us. His lips
brush against mine. “No, the magic starts with you. Always with
you.”
He is wrong.
It's our love.
“Merry Christmas, honey,” I rasp, and before he can reply, I press my
lips to his, kissing him with all my love, all my heart, and all my
mind.
Our future is unknown; but our love is not.
And together, we don't need Christmas to make it magical.
We just need each other.
Always and forever.
BONUS CHAPTER
FAITH

He's being mysterious, which I'm not sure is a good sign. Beau has
always been so honest and upfront.
Yet, whatever this surprise is, he has been tight-lipped about it. I
have no clue what it is other than it needed me to dress up but keep
casual.
Maybe he's taking you out for dinner.
However, that doesn't explain Buster and Roxy being here.
Restaurants don't exactly take too kindly to dogs being brought
inside. And it's not like we could leave them in the flat. We are still
waiting for the papers to be signed on the new property. Heck, I still
haven't seen the new property. Borrington Fields are huge and go on
for miles, with dozens of landowners. I fell in love with a property
down there, but the owner will never sell.
He pulls over onto the side of the road, and a smile lights up his face.
“Is this where you kill me and dump my body?” I joke.
That knowing smirk is back. God, he is killing me.
“No, this is where I blindfold you.”
He pulls out a silk, black sleep mask. "O que? Why?”
He pauses with it over my head. “Trust me?”
My shoulders slump because I do. “With my life.”
“Then let's put this on, and no peeking,” he warns.
I let him slide it over my eyes, blanketing me in darkness.
What kind of surprise involves an eye mask?
“Can't you give me a little hint?” I ask as he pulls off.
"Nã o. All will be revealed in a minute. We are nearly there.”
Nearly there?
I should have taken note of my surroundings. I hadn't because the
nerves started to kick in and all I could think about was where he
was taking me.
Around fifteen minutes later, the sound suddenly changes as the car
moves off the smooth tarmac and onto a gravelly road. I try to hear
something, anything other than the tyres to clue me in to where we
are.
Nothing.
“Don't take the mask off,” he tells me as the car comes slowly to a
stop. “I'll help you out, okay?”
Eu sorrio. “Beau, what is going on? Where are we?”
I hear the smile in his voice. “You'll see.”
A whisk of a cool breeze swirls around the car as he pushes open the
door. It shuts moments later, and I hear his boots crunching down
on gravel as he rounds the car.
My heart begins to race, and my stomach feels like it's in a blender.
The door clicks open, and I let in a sharp intake of breath.
I'm not sure why I'm so nervous, why my heart feels like it will beat
out of my chest.
He reaches for my hand, linking our fingers together. “Breathe. I'm
not going to kill you,” he teases. “This is a good surprise.”
I let out a breath. “Sorry, I'm just nervous. It's hard not to be when I
don't know what's going on.”
“All will be revealed in a few moments,” he assures me. I step out of
the car, smelling nothing but earth. He lets out an ear-piercing
whistle. “Boys, come on.”
I hear the locks on the car lock before he takes my arm, guiding me
forward. The ground beneath me is uneven, giving nothing away as
to where we are.
He steps up behind me, bending until his breath is at my ear. “Now
you can pull the mask off.”
I hesitate for a moment, a little nervous as to what this is about.
Slowly, I lift up the silk eye mask until it's off. The minute I lay my
eyes on a house I know far too well, I become puzzled.
It's a house on a farm I've been wanting to purchase for a while, and
although it started off out of my price range, I saved enough for the
deposit. However, the owner refused any offer I made.
On the stone stairs leading up to the front door are lit lanterns, and
rose petals are scattered over each step.
“Beau, II don't understand; why are we here?”
He takes me by the hips, slowly moving around until he's in front of
me. The house behind is still my main focus, but when he puts
pressure at my hips, I pull my attention to him. “Not long ago you
told me this place was your dream.”
“Yes, I've wanted it for nearly two years now,” I remind him, having
already told him about this place. Which is why I'm confused as to
why we are here. “I want to start my own animal shelter and this
land is perfect. It's beautiful.”
He smiles. "Eu sei. I also found the owner.”
“You did?” I ask, stumped. I have been begging the estate agents to
let me meet with him for years, but they would never divulge his
information. I thought maybe if I could get him to listen to me, he
wouldn't be so hesitant to sell to me.
“I did. I also spoke to him. He and his wife owned this property for
years before she passed away and he became sick. His parents
owned it before them and so on and so on. The reason he hasn't
accepted your offer is because he has wanted it to go to a couple,
one who will eventually start a family. He wants children to grow up
in it, and since he never got to have any children, he never got to
pass it down.”
My heart aches for the man. “Oh no. No wonder he's been so hesitant
to sell it.”
He tucks me against his chest. “I told him about you. I told him your
story. I told him about your crazy family and how we met. I told him
about how much I love you and how much you love animals.”
I melt against him. “You did?”
“Yeah, but before I tell you the rest, I want you to take a look around.
What would you envision if this was yours?”
I already know what I want. I've been dreaming of this house, of this
land, for so many years. I've worked countless hours to save for this
place, praying no one would snatch it before I got enough money
together.
I point to where the old barn used to be. “Well, for starters, that is
where I will put the dog kennels. Over there is where I will
eventually put an emergency practice. I'm hoping eventually I can
get a vet who is trained in farm animals to work here. I'll be keeping
the work shed at the side of the house. And over by that tree, I
would have a swing.”
“What about the house?”
“It needs work, but I wouldn't want to change much of it, but this is
pointless, Beau. He will never sell. He's made it clear on multiple
occasions,” I explain softly. “And let's not forget, you've bought us a
house, one close to here.”
He links his fingers through mine and pulls me towards the house,
not saying a word, just wearing that smirk I'm beginning to find
infuriating.
We walk up the steps to the front door, and he pushes it open like he
owns the place. I tug on his arm, stopping him before he gets us
arrested. Maybe. He is a police officer so he might get us out of it.
“Beau, we can't just go inside.”
“I have the key,” he tells me, shocking me.
He pulls me into the foyer and immediately takes the first left, like
he knows exactly where he's going.
I suck in a breath at the picnic blanket set up in the middle of the
empty room. A basket of food with a vase filled with red roses are in
the centre and scattered around them are lit lanterns like the ones
outside.
The rest of the room is bare. There is no wallpaper, no light fixtures,
or even carpet. It's the bare bones of the house, which is what made
me fall in love with it to begin with. I could imagine everything
without having someone's furniture in front of me to distract me.
This place is more beautiful than I remembered.
“I don't understand; what is this?” I ask, and as I turn, Beau kneels
down on one knee. My heart hammers in my chest, and my eyes well
up with tears. My voice cracks. “Beau.”
“Since the day I met you, you captivated me. I fell so hard, so quick, it
scared me. I was scared I was going to push you away by wanting it
all. And I want it all with you,” he tells me, taking my hand. I sniffle
as he continues. “When I told the owner how much I love you, how
much you have dreamt of this house, and the future you have
envisioned here, he asked me why we weren't married. And the
words 'It's too soon' never even crossed my mind. All I could think
was: why aren't we?
“I love you, Faith. I love you with everything that is me. And if you
say no today, I will ask you tomorrow. And I'll ask you every day
until you say yes. I'll ask you on the days you are mad at me, on the
days you are sad, and on the days you are happy. But I'm hoping
today, you'll say yes. I'm hoping you'll say yes because our love is
like no other. I'm hoping you'll say yes, so I get to love you for the
rest of my life. And I'm hoping you'll say yes because I don't want to
spend my life without you as mine in every way possible.”
Beau slides his hand into his back pocket, pulling out a ring. “Will
you, Faith Carter, do me the honour of becoming my wife?”
I can't breathe.
I drop to my knees, collapsing into his arms as the world around us
stops.
I don't even need to think of my answer. I already know it.
“Yes, Beau. Yes, I'll marry you,” I choke out.
His lips press against my neck, peppering kisses until he reaches my
mouth. The kiss is hot, frenzied, and butterflies erupt in my stomach.
He pulls back, his eyes glazed over as he looks down, sliding the
diamond cut ring on my finger.
“It's beautiful,” I gush.
“So are you,” he rasps, kissing me once more.
“Without breaking the moment,” I begin, still holding onto him.
“What does that have to do with the house?”
He grins. “Because he said even if we never got married, or even if
we didn't have kids, someone who loved his woman as much as I
love you, should get to give her what she wants. He's given it to us at
a cheaper price. He has no use for money with no more living family.
But this… this is what he wanted for the place.”
“No,” I murmur, completely stumped. His grin spreads into a smile.
“This is the house you bought?”
“Yes. And it's too late to back out. All the checks and what-have-you
got finalised and completed today, so the estate agents called me
this morning to let me know we could come down this afternoon to
sign the deeds. It's been killing me not being able to tell you this is
the property. I wanted it to be a surprise. You happy?”
I throw myself at him, as I try to keep it together. He drops back
onto the picnic blanket and the dogs go nuts, barking at us. Buster
licks the side of my face as I lift my head to look down at Beau. “I
love you so much.”
“I love you too, baby.”
“We're getting married,” I declare, still shocked this is happening. I
never expected a thing.
“We're getting married,” he agrees.
“And this is what you want?”
“I meant it when I said I want it all with you. This is just the
beginning. We have our whole lives ahead of us.”
“Beau,” I rasp. “I can't believe you did all of this for me.”
“I'll do anything for you, baby.”
“I love you so much,” I choke out, leaning down to kiss him.
His hands grip my arse cheeks, grinding me down on his erection.
I have a fiancé.
My heart is bursting with joy.
Pulling back, Beau lifts a hand to cup my cheek. “There's just one
favour I need.”
I smile so wide I feel like my face will crack. “Anything.”
“Can you tell your uncle Max after the wedding?”
Shit!
I have to tell my family.
“And your dad,” he continues.
I laugh at his dreaded expression. “They are going to be happy
because I'm happy. But I want to tell Lily first. Is that okay?”
“Anything you want,” he tells me.
“I love you,” I tell him, staring down at his handsome face.
“I love you too,” he declares, rolling until I'm beneath him, and
breathless.
I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. He came into my
life when my faith in humanity had dwindled. He gave me back that
faith. He gave me back the light I needed in a world full of darkness.
He protected me. Saved me. But he also made me laugh. Images of us
watching One Tree Hill flicker through my mind. Him tickling me on
the sofa. Him cooking me breakfast. Our first time together. Our first
'I love you'.
It's Beau.
It will always be Beau.
And I can't wait for what else our future has in store for us.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This book is for my readers, for those who keep purchasing book
after book, and for those who love these characters as much as I do.
When I started Malik so many moons ago, I never expected this
series to become so big, or so long. However, bringing you a new
book with each character hasn't been hard. They are so easy to
write.
And I hope you love Lily's novel as much as I do. Her novel was
always going to be a Christmas special. Always. Her love for the
holiday is just too special for it not to be. And I couldn't picture a
better way to get what I wanted than with her pregnancy. Having
the short stories—some of which I wrote, years ago now—rewritten
and put into this book, has honestly been the best decision I made.
You asked, and I gave, and I hope those flashback scenes were
everything you hoped they would be.
This isn't the end for Lily and Jaxon. They will still be in the Hayes
series, and the Next Generation novels.
What comes next? Who knows? I have so many works in progress
that I'm excited about. It's going to be hard to choose. But please join
my readers group, Lisa's Luscious Readers, for more updates on
what's next.
If you enjoyed Lily, please, please leave a review on the appropriate
platform. Reviews help authors, and I love hearing from you.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Thank you for letting me continue my dream.
And for those who need to hear this: Your happily ever after is
coming.
I'd also like to give a massive shout out to those who have helped
make this book complete. Stephanie, for once again editing. I don't
know what I'd do without you. To Michelle, for beta reading and
letting me run over things with her. And to Cassy Roop, for the
amazing cover. And finally, to those who gave me the inspiration to
write this.
You people are amazing, and I couldn't do this without any of you.

And last, and most importantly, I want to thank my amazing mum.

No matter what, she has made Christmas a special time and place for
me and my siblings. And now, as a mother myself, she gives that
magic to my kids. Without her, Christmas wouldn't be the same.
I don't think she'll ever realise just how truly special she is. It's not
about gifts, or even about the dinner she slaves away cooking all
day. It's her. She has made room at the Christmas table so people
aren't alone on Christmas Day. She's made them feel welcome and a
part of the family. She brings the meaning to home. She brings the
meaning to a family Christmas.
Growing up, I saw her struggle, and fight through it. I've seen her
sad yet keep a smile on her face. I've seen her tears when she thinks
no one is looking. And I've seen her be there for everyone around
her even when she needed someone to be there for her.
She's never made me feel anything but loved.
She's my hero.
My biggest supporter.
And I'm proud to call her my mum.
I love you. Thank you for being you.